


Like Red But Not Quite

by KyloTrashForever



Series: True Colors [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bathroom Encounter, Brace Yourselves Angst Is Coming, Cock in Shining Armor, College Student Rey (Star Wars), Dirty Dancing, Dirty Santa, Dirty Showers, Dom/sub Undertones, Dressing Room Shenanigans, Drunken Twister, Except Sex God Powers, F/M, Gotta Secret Can You Keep It, Heavy Petting, Kylo Is A Sap And We Are Here For It, Oral Sex, Pain Train Choo Choo, Phone Sex, Poe’s Southern Ya’ll, Reylo babies, Reylo wedding, Rock Star Kylo, Rock Stars, Sex Cave?, Spanking, Subplot RebelCaptain, Subplot Romance Too, Subplot Roux/Gingerrose, Suspender Kink, Unknown Connection, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, inappropriate texting, pink kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:21:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 126,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: At twenty two, Rey has spent the last few years buried in textbooks determined to graduate with honors and start a new life as a high school teacher. When her best friend Rose drags her out of her comfort zone to attend a concert for a band she’s never heard of, Knights of Ren, she finds herself less than enthused. Despite being her complete opposite however, Rey is instantly drawn to the dark, tattooed God of a lead singer, Kylo Ren. When a drunken stumble finds her in the wrong place at the wrong time, her quiet existence might just be turned upside down.Like Red But Not Quite Soundtrack





	1. I’ll Show You The Darkside

**Author's Note:**

> 02/09/2019 EDIT:  
> I have slowly started re-editing this story in my spare time with everything I’ve learned over the last almost-year to make it read easier. So if you suddenly notice a very different type of formatting it just means I haven’t made it that far yet.   
> Thanks for your patience. ❤️

* * *

“Stop complaining. You’re going to love them. Besides, what else would you be doing tonight— studying?” Rose rolled her eyes as she thrust out an arm to hail a taxi.

Rey scowled at her friend, knowing she was absolutely right. “You say that like it’s the equivalent of sacrificing a puppy. There’s nothing wrong with studying. I have a lot on my plate.”

Rose waved her off as a yellow car pulled up next them and they shuffled inside. “I know, Rey. Double major, finals, future shaper of young minds, blah, blah, blah. I _know_ you’ve got a lot going on right now but your brain will melt if you spend every single night in your apartment buried in textbooks.”

Rey sighed. Rose was completely right of course. Rey spent all her free time locked in her room poring over her study guides. She’d spent the last four years of college rarely interacting with her peers, almost never attending functions, and buckling down on more coursework than most students even dreamed of in their worst nightmares.

She’d only had one “steady” boyfriend during her time at school and even that had only lasted a few months. Not to mention her job at the campus bookstore— apartments and food don’t pay for themselves. She simply hadn’t had time for much else these last few years. She was determined to graduate from UCLA in a few weeks with everything she needed to start her new life.

For a long time now, all Rey had wanted to do was teach. When she was very young she had been abandoned by her parents and spent the entirety of her childhood being shuffled between foster homes. For a long time she rejected any sort of authority, did poorly in school, and most assumed she wouldn’t amount to much in her future. Then, when she had just entered eighth grade, she met Ms. Organa.

Ms. Organa took a personal interest in Rey, showing her that she could be more than what she’d allowed herself to settle for. She helped her numerous times a week after school, even having her over to her house for private study sessions. Rey found in Ms. Organa the parental guidance she’d craved her entire childhood. For two blissful years she spent multiple evenings per week in her kitchen  eating snacks and learning things more quickly than she ever had.

Rey sensed Ms. Organa enjoyed her company just as much, having recently been through a divorce after they’d first met, resulting in her teenage son moving out with her husband and settling in Del Norte County upstate. She never talked about her family, and kept no pictures of them in her house. Rey wasn’t sure what had happened, but she learned quickly not to bring them up.

When it came time for Rey to enter the tenth grade, she was relocated to another foster home in another county and was forced to change schools. She still visited her teacher at least once a month during her high school career, taking a bus for over an hour to get there. Rey hadn’t been able to visit as often as she’d liked when she moved off to college, but still talked to Ms. Organa fairly often on the phone.

It was because of Ms. Organa that she turned her life around, started getting straight A’s, and graduated Valedictorian of her class. She currently held a full ride scholarship to UCLA and was double majoring in mathematics and science so that she could teach both at a high school level. She hoped one day she could be the difference in a young person’s life, just as Ms. Organa had been in hers.

Rose bumped her shoulder against Rey, pulling her out of her memories. “I’m just saying, you’re twenty-two years old. Sometimes you have to have a little fun.”

“Okay, _okay_ , you’re right. I guess it is nice to be out for a change,” Rey relented. “Still… a punk rock concert? Seriously? Since when do you like that screamo stuff?”

“Since they started recruiting total hotties as their lead singers.” Rose pretended to fan herself.

Rey pulled out her cell and pulled up Google. “What’s the name of the band again?”

Rose groaned in frustration. “It’s like you live under a rock, I swear. How have you not heard of Knights of Ren?”

Rey shrugged. “Less of a rock, more of a textbook really.”

“You’re such a nerd,” Rose laughed.

Rey scoffed as she typed the band name they would be seeing tonight into her search bar. Her browser immediately pulled up several pictures of a tall, dark-haired man screaming into a microphone. His black hair was long and thick, and he kept a short goatee in almost all of his photos. She had to admit he was incredibly attractive even though he wasn’t really Rey’s type. She liked them more clean-cut and safe looking. This man looked like he would ruin you for other men and then never call you again.

“He is very nice looking,” Rey agreed.

 “Nice looking?” Rose shrieked. “Condos are nice looking— Kylo Ren is sex on a stick.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “What kind of name is Kylo Ren, anyway?”

“It’s a _stage_ name, Rey. Don’t be so nit picky.”

 “I’m just saying it sounds like the guy plays a lot of D&D or something.”

Rose laughed loudly. “You’re ridiculous. You’re so going to change your tune after they start playing. His voice is like... I can’t even describe how amazing it is. So deep and _smooth_...”

Rey giggled. “You’re drooling there.”

Rose shoved her playfully. “Whatever, you just wait, you’ll be eating crow later.”

Rey spent the rest of the car ride browsing more info about Knights of Ren. They had been around for awhile, but had only just reached the height of their popularity in the last couple of years. They had several songs on the top one hundred billboards, with “Finish What You Started” and “Let The Past Die” having been in the top ten for three months straight. She wished she’d brought headphones so she could check out their music beforehand, but supposed it might be more fun to hear it all for the first time live.

Rey found herself scrolling through several photos of the lead singer. She’d never found herself attracted to someone like him, but she couldn’t stop looking at him once she started. Older photos showed him with chin length, messy hair and sporadic tattoos up and down his arms. In more recent photos his hair was practically shoulder length and both arms were completely filled in with intricate black and grey tattoo sleeves.

Rose looked over from her texts and caught Rey scoping him out. “ _Ah_ . Sweet Rey likes the bad boy after all does she?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Shut up. So he’s _very_ nice looking.”

Rose snickered. “It should be a crime, that man’s effect on women. He’s even got _you_ swooning.”

Rey put her phone away in embarrassment and instead asked Rose, “How much farther are we from the venue?”

Rose scrolled through her phone’s GPS app quickly before replying. “Says the Rose Bowl stadium is still about fifteen minutes away.”

Rey nodded and glanced down at her outfit. “Am I dressed okay for this?”

“I mean, you’ll probably be the only one wearing pink...”

Rey frowned, and studied Rose’s ripped tights and sparkly, black halter top. “Will I look stupid?”

Rose shook her head. “No way. You’re gorgeous in anything— you just might stand out a bit. Most people will be wearing black I imagine.”

Rey picked at the edge of her pale pink off the shoulder top, her go-to when needing to dress up for any sort of social occasion. Normally when paired with her favorite pair of tight denim shorts, she felt incredibly confident. Now she just felt nervous that she’d stand out in the wrong way. She wished she’d done more research into the band before coming. She didn’t even know why she agreed to come. Probably because Rose is incessant and hard to say no to.

“Stop stressing. I can see smoke coming out of your ears. Everyone will be drunk and screaming lyrics too hard to care what you’re wearing. Relax!”

 It wasn’t long after that the taxi pulled up outside the venue and let them out to stand in the long line leading up to the entrance. There were throngs of darkly clad men and women standing around excitedly, waiting to be let in. Every other person they passed was wearing a t-shirt or tank top with Kylo Ren’s brooding face plastered on it. Rey offhandedly wondered if they might be selling them inside, then quickly scolded herself for acting like a fangirl when she’d never even heard the man sing.

It took half an hour of standing in line to be let into the front doors, where they had their tickets scanned and were made to pass through a metal detector. There was a small wet bar with a line of people waiting for drinks in the main foyer. Rose pulled Rey by the arm towards it immediately.

“Drinks!”

 “Just one...” Rey frowned. “You know I’m not very good with alcohol.”

“Sure. One _big_ one. Let loose a little!”

 “Well... those big frozen margaritas look yummy...” Rey relented.

Rose fist pumped. “Yeah! That’s my girl.”

They waited in line for their drinks, and when it came their turn, Rey got her ridiculous-looking margarita that she swore was over a foot tall, and Rose not only got the same thing but also a large draft beer as an “anticipatory drink”, as she called it.

They carried their alcohol gingerly through the thick crowd of people searching for their appropriate sections inside the venue. Their seats were on the ground floor, right in front of the stage. Rey felt bad Rose had brought _her_ , someone who’d never even seen the band, to such good seats she’d gotten as a present from her parents for her birthday. Rose has assured her though she hadn’t wanted to bring anyone else.

With the help of an elderly attendant, they quickly found their way and made towards a large open floor in front of the stage. Several people had already found their way down and they had to press through the thick crowd to find their section. Once settled, they found themselves only six feet away from the stage, with only a few people separating them from it.

“These really are amazing tickets!” Rey shouted to Rose over the loud buzz of excited fans.

“I know! I take back every shitty thing I’ve ever said about my parents.”

 Rey laughed, knowing full well Rose adored her parents. Mr. and Mrs. Tico were everything you could want in parents. Everything _she_ had wanted in parents. Rose and Rey had met as freshman and been inseparable ever since, so Rey had spent time with Rose’s parents hundreds of times over the years. They lived nearby the campus, where Rose still stayed with them, and were wonderful people.

Suddenly the lights in the arena dimmed and the crowd let out a deafening roar of excitement. Soft chords from a keyboard began to chime over the P.A. system as the first notes of the opening song began to play. The dark curtains shrouding the stage started to rise and multiple spotlights shone down on the various band members. The keyboardist— a thin, dark-haired man to the right of the stage— continued to play the opening notes of the song as the drummer— an impossibly tall blonde woman began to tap out a steady beat.

Another spotlight lit up the left area of the stage to reveal a pale man with red hair that was slicked into a sharp mohawk. He had a sinister-looking black bass guitar slung over his shoulder and quickly began to strum out a fast, thumping rhythm as the song began to build. A thick fog began to pour out from backstage, covering the platform in a haze.

Just as the sharp sounds of an electric guitar began to flood the arena, one last spotlight lit up the rear of the stage as Kylo Ren strutted out to a waiting mic. His fingers flew over the strings of the guitar, his eyes closed and focused. While the music was heavy and harsh, Rey found herself tapping a foot and absently nodding her head to the beat. As all the musician’s parts crescendoed, the music cut to silence save for the cheers of the crowd, and Kylo leaned over the mic and began to sing.

Rey had never heard anything as beautiful as the sounds coming out of this man’s mouth. She felt the music deep in her chest, reverberating her bones and filling her up. Rose was jumping up and down sporadically, but Rey was held in place, unable to do anything more than sip her drink and keep her eyes focused on the beautiful, dark man singing about killing his past.

Enraptured, the songs just seemed to bleed one into the other. The night flew by and before she knew it, her drink was long empty. She was most definitely tipsy, and Kylo Ren was thanking everyone for coming out in that seductive voice of his. He told them they had time for one last song, and that they had been an incredible audience. This song was slower than the previous ones, and Rey hardly breathed as she listened to him croon about forbidden desires. 

She found herself ensnared by his voice and in her state of inebriation pushed her way through two taller people in front of her to get a better look. Once her vision was less obstructed, she stood still and let his music fill her up, swaying slightly and wishing she knew the words so that she could sing along and feel more connected to them.

Kylo’s eyes had been closed for the greater part of the song, but near what Rey guessed was the big finish, he scanned the crowd, making eye contact with a few lucky fans. Everyone with whom his eyes met all but melted into a fit of ecstatic good fortune. As his eyes continued to rove over his adoring fans, they suddenly connected fully with Rey’s.

Rey’s mouth fell open slightly and she felt herself stop breathing altogether. Kylo’s eyes locked onto hers, barely blinking and full of harsh intensity. As the song began to fade out into its ending, she felt the last line wrap around her as he continued to stare straight into her eyes.

“I’ll show you the Darkside...” he sang softly.

 He was still staring straight at her when the lights faded and the crowd erupted in excited screams. Rose, having been in fangirl stupor for most of the night, shook Rey in her elation and screamed directly in her ear, breaking the spell that seemed to be on her.

“OH MY GOD, WASN’T THAT AMAZING?” Rose shouted.

Rey could only nod dumbly. She felt like that was life changing, and almost said so, but realized in retrospect that sounded ridiculous. Maybe she was drunker than she thought she was. “It really was something.”

 “You loved it right?”

 “Yeah,” Rey assured. “I really did! Their music is loud— but _so_ powerful.”

“I know,” Rose sighed. “The songs are so deep. You really feel them, you know?”

 “Oh, I do know...” Rey muttered.

Rose took her by the arm and they began to push through the crowd towards the exit. Rey— definitely more tipsy than she initially thought now that she was mobile— was teetering slightly. She focused all her energy on appearing fine, knowing Rose would tease her if she knew she was that affected by one drink. Even if it _was_ huge.

When they had finally made their way through the double doors back out into the foyer of the venue, Rey suddenly felt all that she’d had to drink catching up to her.

 “I have to go to the bathroom.”

 “I think they’re around the corner. Want me to come with?”

 Rey shrugged. “You’d better head on out and try to get us a cab, or we’ll be here all night. I’ll be quick, send me a pin from your phone so I can find you.”

“Okay, but don’t talk to strangers.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

Rose laughed as she continued on towards the exit. Rey doubled back and fought the flood of people trying to get out of the building to find the restrooms. Eyes still a little blurry from the alcohol, the task was far more difficult than it should have been. She silently cursed herself for succumbing to peer pressure and ordering that ridiculous drink. She was such a lightweight.

She stopped a woman in uniform outside of the wet bar to ask where the restrooms were, who told her to head around the corner and that it was the second hallway to her left. Rey thanked the woman and continued around the curving path towards the direction she’d pointed.

The crowd was much more sparse this way, as people were still filing out to leave. She saw the hallway the attendant had mentioned and began to head down it in search of the restroom. There were no restroom doors immediately visible when you turned down it, only two wide swing doors a little ways from opening.

Rey thought that was weird but guessed maybe they had a special area for the bathrooms. She pushed through the double doors and continued down the hallway, still not seeing a restroom as she reached a corner and turned it, still searching.

Finally, a little further down she saw a blurred restroom sign. She was halfway spooked at having not seen another person down here, surely she couldn’t be the only one who had to pee after this thing? She thanked her cautious nature to think to bring pepper spray in her clutch bag just in case. She reached one hand into her purse and palmed it warily.

She pushed through the swinging door to the restroom and immediately realized she’d made a mistake. A row of urinals lined the wall alerting her of her folly, and she once again cursed peer pressure and the gods of alcohol for not giving her more tolerance. She must have misread the sign. She started to turn and go back from where she came from but was suddenly made painfully aware that not only had she went into a men’s restroom, but also that it was completely occupied. Someone was standing at one of the urinals and it was in full use.

She quickly covered her eyes and started sputtering apologies. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, I went into the wrong door because I misread the sign—stupid margaritas— I’m so, _so_ , sorry. Leaving now.”

“You’re not supposed to be back here.”

 She stilled. Tonight had been the first night she’d heard that voice but she knew as long as she lived she’d never forget it now. Surely her luck couldn’t be that bad. Surely she wouldn’t just stumble into a men’s restroom and run into one of the supposedly most famous people on the planet right now, right?

She heard him zip his pants as he spoke again. “You a stalker?”

“God, _no_ , I’m so sorry. This is a complete accident. I’m _so_ sorry.”

 Uncovering her eyes, she found that Kylo Ren was even more devastatingly good looking up close— especially with his hair damp with sweat from the show he’d just performed. His black tank top bled into his dark grey jeans and up close she realized he was wearing matching black suspenders and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why that was so hot. It had to be the alcohol thinking for her.  
He walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet, washing his hands as he looked at her in the reflection of the mirror. “You’re the girl from the crowd.”

 Not a man of many words, was he? “Erm, yes. I mean, there were a ton of girls in the crowd though.”

 He pulled a paper towel from the dispenser, drying his hands as he turned back around to face her. He eyed her up and down slowly. “Not many here wearing bright pink though.”

She looked down at her outfit, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t know what kind of show this was when I agreed to come.”

He cocked his head to the side in confusion. “You didn’t know about us before you agreed to come?”

She shook her head, mortified. “No, but it’s not that you aren’t _good_ ,” she sputtered. “You were amazing! In fact— you might be the most amazing singer I’ve ever heard. It’s just that I’m double majoring and I spend all my time in my apartment studying and I don’t normally listen to rock music. I only agreed because my friend Rose was insistent and kept bugging me... but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time! I—”

 He interrupted her by reaching out to put a hand over her mouth. “You sort of talk a lot.”

“Erm surry,” she offered from beneath his massive palm.

He raised an eyebrow. “You apologize a lot too.”

Of course her instinct was to apologize so she just kept her mouth shut and looked as contrite as she could. He was a good six inches taller than her, and being this close she had to crane her neck upwards to look at him. He peered down at her pink blouse with interest, his dark eyes roving over the way the fabric clung to her chest.

“Do you want to know why I remember you?”

 She swallowed hard, only able to nod slowly.

He pulled back his hand and traced a large thumb over her bottom lip, causing her to stop breathing altogether. “I remember because I was thinking I wanted to know what you tasted like.”

Rey’s heart was pounding so hard beneath her ribs she felt it might leave an indentation on the bones. She could feel her pulse blazing in her ears and a similar sensation begin to build between her legs. What was wrong with her? He didn’t even know her _name_.

As if reading her thoughts, he asked softly, “What’s your name?”

“Rey,” she breathed. “My name is Rey.”

He hummed in approval. “I like that. So, can I?”

Her mind was completely filled with a fog of _ohmygodthiscannotbehappening_ — so she could only stupidly respond with, “Can you what?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Can I see what you taste like?”

 Rey was on fire with a need she’d never experienced before. She was not this girl. She didn’t know this man, and he probably made every girl he had a passing interest in feel this way. Logically she knew she was being irresponsible, but she was just drunk enough and most definitely just turned on enough to nod dumbly back in response.

He wasted no time in crushing her body to his, pressing her up against the bathroom wall and assaulting her mouth with his own. She felt his tongue slide into her mouth, causing the both of them to groan in pleasure. He ground his pelvis into hers and she could feel that he was already hard and rigid against her core.

Apparently still not close enough for his liking, he slid his large hands underneath her ass and hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around him and once again balancing her against the wall with one hand under her as the other thrust into her hair. He craned her neck to the side to give him better access to her mouth, stroking her tongue like a man starved. Holding her with one hand, he reached between them to roughly squeeze her breast, kneading it and causing her to gasp.

While Rey was no virgin— but she was definitely somewhat inexperienced when it came to men. Her few sexual encounters had been fumbled and only half satisfying. She was in _no_ way prepared for the onslaught of desire that was coursing through every fiber of her body. Her skin thrummed with need as he continued to grind his pelvis into hers.

She felt a delicious pressure begin to build in her core, increasing with each thrust of his hips against hers. She had only orgasmed by another person once in her life, and here she was about to experience it without having even taken her clothes off. Her breath quickened as she felt the pressure build to new heights and spill over as she climaxed. She broke their kiss as she came, breathing erratic and seeing stars.

He pressed hot kisses down her neck as he slowly lowered her back onto her shaking legs. He turned her face once more to press a soft kiss to her mouth that left her even more weak in the knees than she thought possible. She noticed he was also breathing very hard and his eyes were much darker than before.

“Was someone waiting for you?” he asked curiously.

She groaned. “Oh, shit. _Rose_. She’ll be freaking out.”

She tried to slide her phone from her pocket but immediately dropped it. Now drunk on both alcohol and _and_ orgasm, she found motor skills difficult in that moment.

He reached down and picked it up for her, asking for her lock code. Unable to see any reason not to give it to him, seeing as she would most likely never see him again, she told him. He unlocked the phone and scrolled for a moment before typing for a bit. She heard the sound of a message sending twice before he handed it back to her. “A lot of, ‘ _Where the fuck are you?_ ’ messages... I told her you got lost but are on your way back. She sent you a pin.”

Rey nodded. “Thank you.”

He stared down at her, seeing the sated look in her eyes and his mouth went up slightly in a lopsided grin. “I’m glad you got lost, Rey.”

At this point, speech was difficult, but she managed to reply with a simple, “Me too.”

He pressed one last kiss to her cheek before pulling open the door and exiting the bathroom, leaving her standing in a daze.

Incredulous, Rey stared after him for several moments before saying to no one in particular, “What in the hell just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. All I need in life is a tattooed Kylo Ren. Am I right?
> 
> The amazing [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gopherbroke/profile) made me this fan-fucking-tastic mood board for my fic and I don’t think there’s anything more perfect. I seriously can’t stop looking at the suspender-y goodness. She’s got a Adam DriverxReader POV in the works that’s near and dear to my heart, as well as a stellar a/b/o! Check her out! <3  
>   
> 07/18/2018 Edit:  
> The wonderful [Reylo Calligraphy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15234105/chapters/35333478) gifted me with this amazing piece of calligraphy art for my story! It’s as stunning as she is wonderful. (Spoiler alert: A LOT.) I am so grateful I could just die. <3 She has started writing herself, and has a wonderful Olympic Swimming AU WIP that I highly recommend! Also, you can check out her other amazing pieces on her [tumbler](https://reylocalligraphy.tumblr.com/)! Go go go! She’s fabulous.


	2. Talk Dirty To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up this morning to 100 kudos left in the first TWELVE hours. You guys. I’m so happy right now and grateful so many people like it. As a thank you, here’s an early chapter two! <3

She gathered her senses and realized through all of this, she still needed to pee. It was a miracle she didn’t embarrass herself through all of that. She quickly ducked into one of the stalls to relieve herself, pulling out her phone to pull up the pin from Rose. It looked like she was right outside the main entrance.  
  
After washing her hands. Rey left the bathroom to find Kylo was completely gone. She shook her head at herself, wondering again what in the hell she’d just allowed to happen, and quickly returned from the way she’d come. She walked through the now mostly empty halls of the venue in a daze, replaying the events of the last twenty  minutes or so over and over in her head- something she assumed she’d be doing for the rest of her life.  
  
When she finally made it outside, Rose was waiting for her in a huff, lecturing her about getting her so worried. Rey apologized and they both climbed into the waiting taxi.  
  
“How in the world did you get lost anyway?”  
  
“Guess I’m more tipsy than I thought,” Rey replied sheepishly, not yet wanting to talk about what had just happened. She wanted to keep that moment for herself, at least for now.  
  
Rose spent the entire ride back gushing about all her favorite parts of the concert, prodding Rey for her opinion and feedback. Rey told her how much she enjoyed it, and also told her that they’d definitely made her a fan. For the most part though, Rey was quiet on the ride home, blaming the alcohol and fatigue for her less than enthused behavior. Rose called up her parents to thank them for the tickets once again and to tell them all about it. Rey stared out the cab window, lost in thought as Rose recounted the highlights for her parents.  
  
The cab driver dropped Rose off first, as her house was a few blocks away from Rey’s apartment, and the two said their goodbyes, promising to call each other the next day. Shortly after, Rey had been let out at her apartment door and paid the driver. She walked up the stairs to her apartment still lost in thought. Over the course of the ride home she’d worked her way up into full on embarrassment at her actions.  
  
For Christ’s sake, she’d just dry-humped a ridiculously famous man to climax against a bathroom wall. What in the hell had gotten into her? Unlocking her door, she shook her head at herself as she dropped her keys in the bowl on the kitchen counter. She told herself at least this was probably a reoccurring thing for Kylo Ren, and that she’d just be another blip on his radar.  
  
As she slid off her shoes and dropped them onto the floor, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket, alerting her she had a message. Assuming it was Rose telling her goodnight, she pulled it out and swiped it open, only to see it was from a number she didn’t recognize. She opened the conversation thread to see she’d somehow sent a smiling emoji to this number earlier, and then gasped when she read the replying message. _Kylo Ren_ had sent himself a message from her phone, taking her number for himself. She felt her heart pound as she read what he’d sent.  
  
**1-310-560-5956: Rey, I hope you’re not sorry about tonight, because I know I’m not.** ****  
  
Rey almost dropped her cellphone from the shock of seeing his text message. She felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment and... something else? She warmed at the memory of feeling his hard body pressed into hers. She couldn’t remember ever feeling such a physical reaction to something as trivial as a text message, but just knowing he was somewhere thinking about her caused her pulse to flutter.

She walked past the small island of her tiny kitchen and strode into the connecting living room to plop down on the couch. She tucked her legs underneath her, idly moving the pad of her big toe across the worn fabric of the old upholstery. For several minutes she stayed that way, her mind racing as she stared down at the phone in her lap. The alcohol had all but made its way out of her system by now, taking all the courage she’d felt from earlier with it.  
  
She didn’t know how to be this girl— someone who makes out with a stranger and then sends flirty texts in the middle of the night. She’d given him the wrong impression earlier, and now he would think he could just text her anytime he felt like it when he wanted sex or something. She chewed on the inside of her lip, unsure of how to reply.

Another buzz went off from her lap, pulling her out of her inner conflict. She picked up her phone and quickly unlocked it to check the message.  
  
**1-310-560-5956: Tell me you made it home okay.** ****  
  
Her brow scrunched up at his demanding tone, one she could clearly read even through a text message. First altering his contact to something more recognizable, she then quickly typed out a reply.

 **Rey: You’re bossy.** ****  
  
There, that sounded cool. She thought to herself. She watched the tiny dots pop up, indicating he was replying.  
  
**Kylo: You have no idea. I asked you a question.** ****  
  
She shook her head, exasperated.  
  
**Rey: Actually... you made a demand.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Hm. Did you make it home okay?** ****  
****  
**Rey: Yes.**

 **Kylo: Good girl. I never got your last name.** ****  
****  
**Rey: Jackson.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Mm. Rey Jackson. I like it.** ****  
****  
**Rey: It was pretty presumptuous of you to program yourself into my phone and take my number.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Should I have just let you disappear and never thought about you again?** ****  
  
She began to type a reply but then stopped, because the thought of never seeing him again actually soured her mood. Another text came through during her pensiveness.  
  
**Kylo: Exactly.** ****  
  
Rey scoffed to herself. He was kind of an ass, wasn’t he? So why was she turned on? He had basically just told her he was still thinking about her, and coming from someone who had no business thinking about someone like her— it was a heady feeling.  
  
**Rey: Why would you even want my number anyway?** ****  
  
She watched the dots dance across the screen for what felt like ages before he sent a reply that caused her to suck in a breath in surprise.

  
**Kylo: Because I'd like to get to know you before I fuck you.** ****  
****  
Rey’s jaw dropped open. She clenched her thighs together— feeling an immediate reaction to his words. No one had _ever_ talked to her like that. She _should_ be offended. She _should_ be telling him that he could fuck off. Instead— she only felt a raw sort of excitement coursing through her blood.  
  
**Rey: I’m not that kind of girl.** ****  
  
**Kylo: I know you aren’t. Doesn’t change how turned on you are right now.** ****  
  
She swallowed around the lump in her throat and cursed him for being able to see right through her. He wasn’t even _here_ .

 **Rey: Am not.** ****  
  
**Kylo: Really? I am. I’ve been hard since I left you.** ****  
  
She shot up from the couch and padded down the hall towards the tiny bathroom that stood across the hall from her cramped bedroom. She laid her phone on the counter and turned on the tap, splashing cool water onto her burning face. She switched the tap to warm and decided to go ahead and wash off the remnants of the minimal amount of makeup she’d put on before the concert. Scrubbing her face clean, she grabbed a small towel from the hanging rack to pat it dry.  
  
After, she crossed the hall— still too embarrassed to open her texts back up and instead, she laid it on her bedside table. She shimmied out of her tights shorts and peeled off the pink top, followed by the lace bralette she’d worn underneath. Slipping a soft, oversized t-shirt on, she climbed underneath her covers and turned off the lamp at her bedside table. She should turn off her phone and go to bed. She knew that would be the sensible thing to do, but damn it, she _always_ did what was sensible.  
  
She picked up her cell phone and unlocked it once more to the open text thread, typing out a response. She’d never sent dirty messages before, but here in the dark, with a dark stranger on the other end... she could pretend for once that she _was_ a wild, wanton girl who did this all the time. That she lived in the moment.  
  
**Rey: Too bad you left. Now I’m in bed, all alone.** ****  
  
**Kylo: That sounds... intriguing. What are you wearing?** ****  
  
She glanced down at the faded Chess Club t-shirt and grimaced.  
  
**Rey: Nothing?** ****  
  
**Kylo: I doubt that. Try again.** ****  
  
**Rey: Ugh. T-shirt and underwear.** ****  
  
**Kylo: That sounds more like it. What color underwear?** ****  
  
**Rey: Pink?** ****  
  
**Kylo: My new favorite color.** ****  
  
She found herself giggling in the dark at the thought of the dark, edgy man dressed in pink.

 **Rey: I’m sure you’ll be sporting it at your next show.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Maybe I will.** ****  
****  
**Rey: Sure you will.** ****  
  
**Kylo: I want you to do something for me.** ****  
  
Heart pounding, she hastily replied.  
  
**Rey: What?** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Touch yourself.** ****  
  
Her mouth went dry.  
  
**Rey: Are you serious?** ****  
  
**Kylo: Yes, it’s only fair, since that’s what I’m doing.** ****  
  
Her heart started hammering in earnest. She closed her eyes, picturing him in on a large four poster bed, slathered in black silk sheets. She could see him sprawled across it, with the same grey jeans he’d had on earlier bunched around his thighs as he fisted his— what she _assumed_ would be— _impressive_ erection. She imagined he would bite his lip as his dark hair fell in his eyes, working himself over roughly with one hand while the other kept up with their conversation.  
  
Despite herself, she slipped one hand beneath her sheets and slid it under the band of her underwear, finding herself already hot and wet from the images she’d conjured up of Kylo touching himself while thinking about her. She pressed into the hard button of her clit and rubbed tiny circles into it, causing her already pounding heart to race further. Feeling another buzz go off in her other hand, she fumbled to open the message without stopping her dirty ministrations.  
  
**Kylo: Well? Am I alone here?** ****  
****  
**Rey: You’re not alone.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Mm. That’s my girl. Now imagine that’s me touching you.** ****  
  
She closed her eyes, imagining that instead of her small, delicate fingers it was Kylo’s large, rough ones touching her between her legs. She tried to picture his massive body curled over her, his face pressed into her hair as he used those impressive digits to pound now furious cycles against her aching clit. She reached down and dipped two fingers inside, coating them in the slickness of her arousal before bringing them back to continue her assault on the tight bundle of nerves as another buzz went off from the phone that had now fallen onto her chest. She reached for it, shaking.  
  
**Kylo: Can you feel me?** ****  
****  
**Rey: Yes.** ****  
  
Not very sexy, but it was remarkable she could respond at all with the way her hands were shaking with need.  
  
**Kylo: Good. I wish it was me touching you.** ****  
****  
**Rey: What would you do if you were here?** ****

**Kylo: Everything.** ****  
****  
**Rey: Tell me.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: First, I'd strip off what I’m assuming is some sort of nerdy t-shirt.** ****

Her gaze fell once more to her shirt and groaned.  
  
**Kylo: Don’t worry. Knowing it’s probably a nerd shirt is getting me incredibly turned on.** ****  
****  
**Rey: Chess Club.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Talk dirty to me.** ****  
****  
**Rey: We came in second at regionals.** ****

**Kylo: Well, I know a sport you can come FIRST in.** ****  
****  
She laughed, finding it amazing that she could do so despite how aroused she was.  
  
**Rey: So, after my shirt is off, what then?** ****  
****  
**Kylo: I could finally see those tits I’ve been dreaming about since they were under my hands.**

Rey closed her eyes and snaked her hand up her body, fondling her breast. She took a nipple between her fingers and tugged roughly, imagining again it was Kylo doing so. She gasped at the contact, and then let her hand skim the length of her body slowly back down between her legs to continue her previous task.  
  
**Rey: That was only a couple of hours ago.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Too long.** ****  
****  
**Rey: ...and then?** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Then, as much as I love them, I’d probably have to tear those pink underwear off you. They’re in the way.** ****  
****  
**Rey: So now I’m naked.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: Thank fuck. I bet your pussy is beautiful. I’d probably feel the need to taste it after I saw it.** ****  
  
Rey moaned at the thought of his mouth on her. She’d only attempted that with one other and it had been a disaster. He’d spent half an hour fumbling around, eliciting little to no responses from Rey. When it was over she had felt like something was wrong with her for not being able to enjoy it. She had to imagine Kylo would know exactly what to do.  
  
**Rey: Oh God.**

 **Kylo: You can just call me Kylo.** ****  
****  
**Rey: I sort of hate you.**

 **Kylo: I doubt that. How close are you?** ****  
****  
**Rey: Very.** ****  
  
Suddenly her phone began to vibrate incessantly, and when she glanced at the screen she realized he was calling her. She ceased touching herself and for a moment could only stare at the screen where his name flashed. She considered stopping all of this— she didn’t think she could be brave enough to actually _talk_ to him at a time like this. Finally finding her resolve, she reminded herself that tonight she _was_ that brave girl. She swiped the indicator to the right, answering the call and then putting it to her ear.  
  
“H-Hello?”

“Need to hear you come,” came a clipped reply. “Are you close?”  
  
She swiped a hovering finger across her clit and jerked at the sensation, finding herself still very near climax.  
  
“Yes,” she breathed.  
  
“Good,” he ground out, breathing heavily himself. He groaned into the phone. “I have a feeling my hand is nothing compared to what yours will feel like on my cock.”  
  
“Who says you’ll ever find out?” She’d attempted sass—but as she was _panting_ it came out far less taunting then she’d intended.  
  
He let out a strained laugh. “I think we both know I will.”  
  
His blatant arrogance only heated her further, and she quickened the pace of her fingers, her breath coming out in shallow gasps. “You’re sure of yourself.”

She heard him suck in air between his teeth, apparently as close as she was. “I’m sure about the way you feel right now. I’m sure you’ve _never_ felt like this, and I’m not even touching you yet. I’m sure that when I _finally_ get my hands on you— it’ll make every other orgasm you’ve ever had seem like _nothing_ .”  
  
Kylo’s low voice in her ear paired with her furious assault on her heated core had Rey right at the precipice of climaxing. She was moaning unabashedly into the phone then, and through the roaring of blood in her ears she could hear him whispering encouragements like, “ _That’s it_ ,” and, “ _Come for me, Rey_ .”  
  
With the force of what felt like a dam breaking, Rey felt her orgasm overpower her. Her toes curled, her back bowing off the bed as she continued to rub deep circles into her already over-sensitive clit, prolonging her orgasm for several moments. In the back of her mind she realized vaguely that she was actually whimpering, reduced to a simpering pile of sensation.  
  
She heard Kylo moan into the phone as his breath came out in short huffs, seemingly finding his own climax. He let out a couple of short grunts before she heard a soft thud, and she assumed he’d fallen back into his bed. For a long time they both stayed like that, not speaking— just listening to the sounds of each other breathing.  
  
When their breathing had steadied, and Rey’s mind had cleared, she felt the inevitable unease set in. What had she just done? She’d just completely crossed the line with what was basically a stranger, _again_ .  
  
“I can hear your mind buzzing over there. You’re overthinking it.”  
  
“I can’t believe I just did that.”

“I can,” he hummed. “I think there’s a little wild under all that pink. You just need someone to find it.”  
  
Her cheeks grew warm. “I don’t think so... I think you’ll get bored with me very quickly.”  
  
“I highly doubt that.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, not able to bring herself to respond. This all felt like a dream. Things like this didn’t happen to her. She let her head fall back against the headboard and sighed.

“Do you regret it?” he asked quietly.  
  
She rooted around in the muddled mess of her thoughts, and although she was definitely _embarrassed_ at her brazenness, she couldn’t find a shred of regret. “No. I don’t.”

He let out of sound of approval. “Good. Get some sleep, Rey.”

“Okay.”

“I meant what I said.”

“Hm?”

  
“I’m glad you got lost.”

She sucked in a shaky breath, quietly echoing her earlier response, meaning it just as much now as she did then. “Me too.”  
  
“Goodnight, Rey.”

She held it to her ear for several moments after they’d hung up, staring at nothing. Shaking herself from her stupor, she leaned over to plug her phone into the charger. She decided not to set an alarm— tomorrow was Sunday anyway and she was going to need some serious sleeping in therapy after the roller coaster she went through tonight.  
  
Settling in under the covers, she rested on her stomach with one arm under her pillow. She watched the city lights outside the window of her bedroom flicker, listening to the sounds of traffic speeding past on the streets outside. Over and over she replayed the events of what had happened tonight, committing them to memory, still afraid she would wake up and it would have all been a dream. She heard a telltale buzz from the bedside table, and quickly rolled over to snatch it up.  
  
**Kylo: Stop overthinking. Go to sleep.** ****  
****  
**Rey: Bossy.** ****  
****  
**Kylo: You have no idea.** ****  
**  
** She smiled to herself, how did he know her so well when they’d just met? Returning her phone to the charger and putting it on _Do Not Disturb_ until ten the next morning so that she wouldn’t be tempted, she rolled back over and closed her eyes. She decided that even if she woke up tomorrow and it had all just been a dream— it would still be the best night she’d ever experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, if Kylo had my number, I’d be sending him dirty texts too. All blushing aside.


	3. Stripped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 Kudos! I mean, I had to give another thank you upload. I’ve set a precedent now. ;)

Rey woke the next morning to the sun already high in the sky, peering brightly through her blinds. She cracked open one eye, finding the offensive light to be harsh and stinging. She tentatively sat up in bed, finding even that to be a bit of a chore. _Great_ , she thought to herself. _One drink and I’m hungover_. She fell back into the pillows, laying still with her eyes closed, not yet ready to drag herself from the warmth of her bed.   
  
Her mind wandered back to the events of last night, which caused her to shoot up into a sitting position, which _then_ caused her head to throb in response.   
  
“ _Holy shit._ ”

  
It all come flooding back to her in a rush. The concert, the dry humping, the _phone sex_.

 _Jesus_.

No, _not_ Jesus. He wouldn’t approve. Jenna Jameson help her. She’d never had _phone sex_. Except she had. Last night, she’d done that. All of that. _Her_. Rose would have a fit.

She was tempted to call her now just so she could unload all of the thoughts racing around in her head. She held back though, still wanting to keep it to herself for some reason. She almost felt like telling someone about what had happened would cheapen it somehow.  
  
She swung her legs out of bed, finding even _that_ difficult, and stood and stretched. She glanced at the phone on her bedside table, but wasn’t quite ready to check it. She didn’t know what scared her more— the prospect of having another message from Kylo, or the idea of not having one at all. What if he never called her again? Maybe he was just some sick freak who got off on listening to girls get off. He might have made dozens of calls last night for all she knew.   
  
She shook her head, even for _her_ that sounded ridiculous. She had a tendency to build up impossible scenarios in her head that did nothing but heighten her anxiety. She walked over to her aged dresser and pulled out a pair of well-worn cotton shorts, another t-shirt that had the Milky Way on it with a marker stating,  _You Are Here,_ where Earth would have been located, and some fresh underwear.   
  
Carrying her clothes across the hall to the bathroom, she reached into the shower and turned the knobs for the water, testing the temperature with her hand for a few seconds before she was satisfied. She peeled her sleep shirt over her head, holding it in front of her for a moment. Now every time she looked at it she would hear Kylo’s aroused voice in her ear. She couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing.   
  
Rey tossed the shirt into the hamper and then pulled off her underwear so that they could follow. She climbed into the shower and let the warm water cascade over her body, soothing the effects of her hangover. She grabbed the pink rose scented body wash from the caddy and poured a generous amount into her palm. Lathering it up, she then began to work it into her skin, rinsing away any residual sweat or concert grime from the night before.   
  
When her hands roved over her breasts, she let them linger over the soapy expanse. She experimentally tugged on a nipple, closing her eyes and letting herself imagine it was Kylo. She pictured him there in her shower. His massive frame would fill the entire space, a wet eden of tattooed goodness. Her other hand crept downwards to wander between her thighs, but then she jerked out of her fantasy, scolding herself.   
  
Who was she right now? She’d never been this sexually _charged_ before. Now the mere thought of him had her flustered and needy. She focused back on the task of cleaning herself, committed to engaging in no more funny business during the course of her shower. She finished rinsing off the body wash and then continued to her hair, cleaning that thoroughly as well.   
  
Her task done, she turned off the taps and reached out of the shower for the towel she’d hung on the rack, pulling it in to dry herself off. Wrapping it around herself, she stepped out and grabbed a smaller towel for her hair. She toweled her shoulder-length chestnut waves with one hand, her mind still on the phone at her bedside.   
  
“Oh, stop being such a coward.”

She marched back across the hall to her bedroom, seating herself atop the bundled mass of magenta comforter still mussed from her sleep. She picked up the phone and unlocked it, immediately growing disappointed when she found no new messages. Well, maybe he was still asleep? She checked the time. 11:04 am. Damn, she never slept in that late. Surely he would be awake too.  
  
She tried not to let it bother her; she was acting like a teenager right now. Maybe she should text him? That seemed lame. What would the girl from last night do?

_She’d be brave._

Rey wanted to be that girl for a little longer. She swallowed her nerves and opened the text thread from the night before, deciding to try honesty.  
  
**Rey: It was very hard not to touch myself in the shower this morning thinking about last night.** **  
**  
She sent it before she could change her mind. She watched the screen for a few agonizing moments before realizing he was either still in fact asleep, or busy, or just didn’t feel like answering. She flopped backwards on her bed, groaning. That’s what she gets for being brave. Now she was going to have to deal with her anxiety for however long it took him to respond— if he ever did.  
  
She realized she’d forgotten her clothes in the bathroom, and went back to retrieve them. She had _just_ pulled on her shorts when she heard a familiar buzz coming from her bedroom. She almost tripped over her own feet dashing back to her room, leaping over the bed and grabbing for the phone.   
  
**Kylo: You’re going to kill me.** **  
**  
Her smile was so wide it almost hurt, and her anxiety immediately began to dissipate.   
  
**Rey: I could say the same.** **  
****  
****Kylo: I want to see you.** **  
**  
Nervous again, she idly bit at her thumbnail. She was afraid seeing him would just rush along the inevitable discovery that she was just a normal, boring girl, and then he’d grow tired of her.   
  
**Rey: When?** **  
****  
****Kylo: Tonight.** **  
****  
****Rey: That’s so soon...** **  
**  
**Kylo: It’s my only night off. We have a show at the Forum in Inglewood tomorrow night, then driving the bus straight to Anaheim for another show on Wednesday. Basically sticking to that same schedule for two weeks. I don’t have another free moment till next Sunday, when the California leg of the tour ends, and if I have to wait that long to see you I might die.** **  
****  
****Rey: That’s dramatic... lol** **  
****  
****Kylo: Comes with the territory. Punk Rock remember?** **  
**  
She rolled her eyes. She doubted very much that Kylo could ever _actually_ be called an emo. He was too broody. Another text came in before she could respond.  
  
**Kylo: So? Tell me you’ll see me.** **  
****  
****Rey: Um, where?** **  
****  
****Kylo: It would be a major headache to try and meet you in public, can I see where you live?** **  
**  
Rey glanced around at her tiny bedroom, imagining Kylo in her space. She wasn’t even sure he’d fit underneath the cramped ceilings.   
  
**Rey: Idk...** **  
****  
****Kylo: I know you’re over there stressing about what your place looks like, I literally couldn’t give a fuck if you lived in a box. As long as you’re there.** **  
**  
Well that was almost... sweet? There might be a romantic underneath those hard edges.  
  
**Rey: How do I know you’re not a stalker?** **  
**  
She laughed at her own joke, remembering how he’d asked her the same thing after she’d stumbled into the bathroom last night.   
  
**Kylo: Maybe I am.** **  
**  
She rolled her eyes as he continued.   
  
**Kylo: Say yes, Rey.** **  
****  
****Rey: Okay.** **  
****  
****Kylo: That’s my girl, say, 6?** **  
**  
**Rey: That should be fine... I could cook?** **  
****  
****Kylo: Don’t put yourself through any extra trouble.** **  
****  
****Rey: It’s totally fine. I would have to make myself something anyway... nothing fancy.** **  
****  
****Kylo: Well, then dinner sounds amazing. Send me a pin, I’ll see you at 6.** **  
** **  
****Rey: K.** **  
**  
She sent him a quick pin to her apartment and then dropped her phone to run to the kitchen and rifle through her cabinets. She found them basically empty— save for a few bags of cereal and an old can of mixed vegetables she was pretty sure had been there when she moved in. Who in the hell was she kidding? _I’d have to make myself something anyway._ She doesn’t cook. Almost ever.   
  
She ran back to her room for her phone, opening her Favorites and hitting the contact labeled, _Main Bitch—_ Rose’s doing. It rang four times before a sleepy Rose came on the line.  
  
“Mm, yeah?”

  
“You’re still asleep?”

  
“I may have polished off a bottle of wine with Mom when I got home last night.”

  
“Damn, your mom might be cooler than you are.”

  
“You’re telling me,” Rose yawned. “How are you feeling?”   
  
“Mm, I have a headache, but otherwise I’m okay I guess.”

  
“Worth it though, right? Wasn’t that the best time?”   
  
Rey laughed. If she only knew. “Yeah, it was sure something. Listen, I’m calling because I need a favor.”   
  
“Sure, what’s up?”

  
“I need a recipe for something even someone as useless as me could cook. Something that seems like it takes effort but actually doesn’t.”

  
“The hell are you talking about?”   
  
“I might... no, I _have_ a date tonight,” Rey offered sheepishly.   
  
“ _What?_ ” Rose practically shouted into her ear. “With who? How? Details!”   
  
“It’s nothing to get super excited about.. .I just… ran into someone after the concert last night, and he got my number. He kind of asked to come over tonight.”

  
“Woah, hold up. That’s why you were late? You sneaky bitch! You were so quiet on the way home...‘tired’ my ass! You were all nervous from some sneaky rendezvous! What’s his name?”

Rey thought for a moment, not having thought this far ahead but not ready to tell Rose everything. “Kyle. His name is Kyle.”  
  
“Kyle... hmm. Do we like Kyle? Is he hot?” Rose pressed.   
  
Rey giggled. “He’s gorgeous.”   
  
“I’m so fucking proud of you right now,” Rose squealed. “Mama bear time though, you sure it’s okay to have a stranger at your house so quick? What if he’s a weirdo?”   
  
“I think it’ll be fine. He seems completely normal.”

  
“They all do, until they’ve got you in pieces over the bay,” Rose murmured ominously.   
  
Rey rolled her eyes. “You have to stop watching so much SVU.”   
  
“You’ll thank me one day when you’ve been kidnapped and I save you,” Rose laughed. “What’s his last name? I want to creep him on Facebook.”   
  
“No!” Rey shouted, then forcing herself to calm down enough to not sound crazy. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you trying to find out everything about him and spoiling my first date.”   
  
Rey could almost picture Rose’s pout. “You’re no fun. Anyway, back to your question, I’ve seen your attempt cooking, and I’m telling you now. Go down the street to Mazzini’s, order a to go dish and heat it in the oven. Just make him think you cooked it. You don’t want to kill the guy.”   
  
“Ugh,” Rey groaned. “I hate you. You’re probably right though.”

“Trust me, you can’t even boil water,” Rose snorted. “I have another idea too. What time is he coming?” Rose snickered before adding, “ _Ha_ , coming.”   
  
“ _Shut up_ ,” Rey huffed. “You’re a fourteen-year-old boy, I swear. He’ll be here at six.”   


“Perfect. Plenty of time. Two blocks from your apartment there’s a shop called _Stripped_. I’m calling my girl Jyn to have her work you in. It’s on me.”

  
“What’s on you?”

  
“Just trust me, when have I ever steered you wrong?” Rose asked innocently.   
  
Rey’s answering look could almost be felt through the silence.   
  
“Okay,” Rose relented. “Fine, but I promise you won’t regret it. I’m going to call her now. I’ll text you your appointment time.”   
  
“Okay,” Rey sighed in defeat. “Talk soon.”   
  
Rey dropped the phone on her bed after they said their goodbyes, and went over to her desk vanity in the corner to dry her hair. She turned on the blow-dryer and flipped her head over, running her fingers through her hair to create tousled waves as she dried. When she finished, she traded her shorts for a pair of old jeans and then slipped on her flip-flops.     
  
She decided while she waited for Rose to text her she would go grab some lunch from the deli across the street. She grabbed her keys, her phone and clutch-purse before leaving the apartment. Skipping down the stairs that led to the street, she left the building and walked down the the curb to wait for the _Walk_ signal.   
  
People were bustling down the sidewalks, going to lunch, appointments, what have you. She slipped into the small crowd of people waiting to cross and waited for the light to turn. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, pulling it out to see Rose had sent her an appointment time.   
  
**Rose: 1:30! Don’t be late!** **  
** **  
** **Rey: But you won’t tell me what it is I’m going for?** **  
** **  
** **Rose: ;)** **  
**   
Rey shook her head, returning her phone to her pocket as the light changed and the small crowd started to cross the street. She hurried along with the crowd of people until she reached the other side. Spotting the little deli tucked into the row of shops on the opposite street, she darted inside and waved to the old man working behind the counter. She’d been in enough to be friendly with him.   
  
“Hey, Rey. How goes it?” the tall man barked. His shaggy, graying, brown hair was tied back in a ponytail, matching the heavy dusting of hair covering his arms and poking out of his shirt collar.   
  
“Hey, Chewie.” She had no idea what his real name was, because every one that came in just called him Chewie. “It’s been an interesting day. What’s the special?”   
  
“Turkey and Avocado on wheat,” he said gruffly. _Everything_ he said came out gruffly.   
  
“That sounds perfect. I’ll take that.”

She checked the time on her phone, it was just now coming up on one o’clock. She had plenty of time to make the walk to _Stripped_ . She pulled up the pin Rose had sent for the shop, finding it really was only two blocks away.   
  
Chewie handed Rey her food, and she thanked him as she handed him some money. He grunted a thanks in reply and she left the deli, eating as she walked. She thought about what she might order from Mazzini’s for dinner. What if he was allergic to something? She hadn’t even thought to ask. Would it seem too eager to text him again? It was a valid question after all. She pulled her phone out with her free hand and typed out a quick message.   
  
**Rey: Do you have any food allergies I should know about?** **  
** **  
** **Kylo: Not that I know of. What’s for dinner?** **  
** **  
** **Rey: It’s a surprise?** **  
** **  
** **Kylo: Mm. I love surprises. Gotta go, busy, see you soon.** **  
**   
She felt a little guilty bothering him when he probably had a lot going on, but assured herself it was okay. She reminded herself he had been the one to ask to see her after all. She polished off her sandwich, checking the map on her phone to see _Stripped_ was just around the next corner. She rounded the bend and saw a dark purple building with an electric blue neon sign that read the shop’s moniker.   
  
Rey pushed open the door, causing a bell to tinkle overhead. An angsty looking woman with sharp, chin length hair and a bright red eyebrow piercing stood behind the black marble counter, reading a magazine. She glanced up at Rey as she came in, looking disinterested.   
  
“Hey,” she greeted passively. “You got an appointment?”   
  
“Um, my friend Rose sent me here.. she said to ask for Jyn?”

  
The woman smiled, suddenly interested. “Oh! You’re Rey. I’m Jyn. Rose said you’re down for the special?   
  
“I guess? I don’t even know what the special is. What do you do here?”

  
Jyn laughed. “Girl, we do body grooming. Your girl signed you up for a Brazilian.”   
  
Rey groaned. She was going to murder Rose. She wanted to turn and run. “Oh my God. Rose is an idiot. I’m so sorry she wasted your time.”   
  
“Hey!” Jyn shouted. “Come on, there’s nothing to be nervous about. Rose said you had a hot date right? Dudes love a neat landing pad if you know what I mean.”   
  
Rey felt herself blushing. She was so embarrassed. She couldn’t believe Rose sent her here. “I don’t know... aren’t they supposed to be really painful?”   
  
Jyn waved her off. “Fuck no. I’m a pro. It’ll be over before you know it and I promise you’ll be back again. You’ll love it.”   
  
Rey chewed her bottom lip. “Guys really like this?”   
  
“Hell yes. They aren’t going to visit your house if they can’t find the front door,” she laughed.

“Oh my God,” Rey snorted. She was pretty sure Jyn was crazy, but decided she liked her all the same. “What the hell. I’m already here.”  
  
Jyn clapped her hands. “Yes! You won’t regret it.”   
  
Jyn took Rey back behind a curtain and led her down a hallway to a small room with a padded table in the center. “Alright, strip from the waist down.”   
  
Rey gave her an anxious look, to which Jyn rolled her eyes.   
  
“You don’t have anything I don’t have. Quit being nervous and take your pants off,” she scolded.   
  
Jyn turned to the counter and began heating the wax, getting the strips ready to use. Rey shimmied out of her pants, grabbing a paper sheet to cover herself with before removing her underwear as well. She hopped up on the table and laid the sheet over herself before settling back against the table.   
  
Jyn snapped on some rubber gloves and turned back around, wax in hand. Eyeing Rey’s meager coverings she laughed. “You’re adorable. You know I’m going to see everything you got right?”   
  
Rey groaned. “Let me have my dignity.”   
  
Jyn shook her head, mumbling, “Too cute.” She laid the bowl of hot wax on the edge of the table and wiggled her gloved fingers at Rey jokingly. “You ready?”   
  
Rey shut her eyes, nodding. “Let’s just get it over with.” 

* * *

Rey teetered out behind the curtain, following Jyn like a newborn deer. Every movement caused the fabric of her underwear to rub the now bare, sensitive skin. It was a very strange and foreign feeling.   
  
“Well,” Jyn started, “you did alright considering I thought you were going to throw up half the time.”   
  
Rey eyed her warily. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”   
  
“I told you. Just wait till your guy sees it. He’s going to go nuts.”   
  
Rey huffed. “I don’t even know if he’s _going_ to see it.”   
  
Jyn clicked her tongue. “After what you just went through, he’d better.”   
  
Rey laughed and thanked her for putting up with her long enough to get the job done.   
  
Jyn shrugged. “Here, put my number in your phone. Call or text me anytime you want a touch up.”   
  
Rey nodded and they exchanged numbers, thanking her again as she left the building. She pulled out her phone to call Rose, who picked up almost instantly.   
  
“Heeeeeey.”  

  
“You’re in _so_ much trouble.”

  
“Did you go through with it?” Rose pressed.   
  
“Yes, unfortunately,” Rey sighed in response.

  
“Yes! I’m so proud of you.”

  
“I’m going to murder you.”

  
Rose laughed. “Speaking of murder, I bet once your date sees Jyn’s handiwork he is going to murder that p—”   
  
“Shut your mouth,” Rey groaned. “I swear to God.”

  
Rose just laughed at her and told her she could thank her later. “Have you decided what you’re going to pick up from Mazzini’s?”

  
“Probably just a lasagna. Anyone can make lasagna right? Well, except me that is.”

  
“Yeah, sounds like a safe bet.”   
  
“I’m almost home, I’m going to get off here and call in an order while I get ready.”

  
“Alright, I’m rooting for you! Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  
“Ha. The possibilities are endless then aren’t they?”

“ _Rude_ ,” Rose laughed. “But accurate.”

  
They both said goodbye as Rey started to come up on her apartment building. She called the restaurant and scheduled a pickup for five o’clock, giving her plenty of time to get it back here and into her oven before Kylo arrived. She checked the time— it was almost three o’clock now. She had plenty of time to figure out what to wear and to fix herself up a little. She climbed the stairs two at a time, eager to start getting ready.   
  
She was nervous, sure, but the prospect of seeing Kylo again filled her with an excitement that overshadowed almost all of her anxiousness. She needed to see him to prove to herself he wasn’t a figment of her imagination. She opened up her apartment, and set herself on the frenzied path of preparing for the evening ahead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a real note, I decided to upload a chapter every time I get a new one done. :) Considering how fast I’ve been working through this story.. it might be rather quick updates. Tomorrow is a holiday.. so may check back then. ;)


	4. Some Sort Of Suspender Kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Memorial Day! May Jenna Jameson bless you! :P
> 
> Moodboard gifted to me by the lovely [ReyloRobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011)! <3

* * *

Rey checked the clock again for what had to have been the tenth time. It was fifteen minutes till six, and he’d already texted to let her know he’d be there soon. She pulled the lasagna from the oven, it being properly warmed, and she sat it on her small table tucked in the corner of the kitchen. She smoothed her shirt, a flowing coral tank, and checked her dark skinny jeans to make sure she hadn’t spilled anything on them. Everything was seemingly in place.  
  
She glanced around the space once more, checking for the millionth time that nothing was amiss. Perfect. Everything was going to be perfect. She was so nervous she might faint. She’d considered texting him to cancel at least a dozen times.  
  
Checking her appearance in the mirror hanging on the living room wall, finding her soft waves in order and pleased with the minimal makeup she’d decided to wear. Nothing more than some light eyeshadow and soft pink lip gloss.

A knock at her door jolted her then— _shit_ . Now or never. She walked to her front door on shaky legs, still sensitive from the wax she’d received earlier. She reached out for the door handle, swallowing hard and releasing a nervous breath.  
  
Rey found she was not as prepared to see him again as she’d thought. Did he get better looking since yesterday? His dark unruly hair tumbled down, framing his angular face. He had one side tucked behind his ear, which she noticed was actually pretty large as far as ears go. Somehow though, it just softened the hardness of the rest of his appearance, making him more approachable. She found herself thinking it was adorable. Her eyes roamed over the intricate patterns of his tattoos that covered his arms, making a mental note to try and study them more closely later.  
  
“Hey,” he greeted, eyeing her. “Can I come in?”  
  
She was unable to do anything but nod back at him, moving to the side so he could walk in past her. After locking the door, she watched him as he glanced around her tiny apartment, taking it in. She took the opportunity to check out the rest of him. He had on dark jeans that bled into the same boots he’d been wearing yesterday, a dark grey button down and scarlet colored.. suspenders? Was this a thing with him? She wanted to ask but felt like it was probably something his fans already knew and she didn’t want to bring up the fact that she knew so little about him again even though he was basically famous. On anyone else it would have looked silly, but on him it just... made her heart race. It _worked_ for him.  
  
“I like your place,” he commented finally.

“It's not much...”

He shrugged. “It’s just fine.” His eyes darted down to her top and one side of his mouth went up in a grin. “Pink again?”  
  
She blushed, mumbling, “It’s coral...”  
  
He chuckled. “It’s all pink to me.” He looked over to the table where she’d left the lasagna. “That looks good.”  
  
“Oh! Yeah, are you hungry? Obviously. It’s why you came. Do you want to sit down? What do you want to drink? I bought some wine... but I don’t really know about wine, so I don’t know if it’s any good...” She was rambling. He gave her a look that said he knew so. “Sorry.”  
  
“Still apologizing.” He shook his head. “Dinner sounds good. I’ll try that wine.”  
  
She went to the fridge and grabbed the wine, uncorking it and setting it on the counter to breathe. The sales clerk at the liquor store near the restaurant had stressed it was important to let it breathe for a little bit before drinking. She pulled two plates from the cabinet and brought them to the table, then returned to grab two wine glasses she’d gotten as a gift when she’d moved into her apartment. She sat them on the counter and then walked back to the table where he’d already seated himself to put some food on his plate.  
  
After she’d filled his plate, she went back to the counter to pour the wine, praying it had been enough time for it to not be disgusting. She carried it back to the table, setting a glass at both places and seating herself across from him, piling a healthy helping of food on her plate.  
  
He’d been waiting for her to seat herself, but once she was situated he dug into his food, making appreciative sounds around his fork. “This is pretty good.”

“Thank you.” She had to admit she felt a little guilty. She wished she’d never told him she was going to cook. She wouldn’t feel so awkward about lying right now.  
  
“You know what this reminds me of?” he asked her, a small smile on his face.  
  
“What?”

“That little place... Mazzini’s? Tastes just like theirs.”

Rey dropped her fork. “Oh my God. You’ve... you’ve eaten there?”  
  
He started laughing in earnest now, covering his mouth with his hand. “No, no, I’m sorry, but you left the takeout container on top of your garbage can on the landing outside.”  
  
She covered her face with her hands. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey,” he soothed, leaning over the table to pull her hands from her face. “It’s fine Rey. It’s kind of adorable that you wanted to impress me, but you seriously don’t have to. I’m already impressed.”  
  
She nodded, cheeks still flaming. “The truth is I can’t cook for shit. I said that in a panic and then didn’t want to look silly.”  
  
“Hey, seriously. Don’t worry about it.  I’m probably an asshole for pointing it out.  I just couldn’t resist.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She took another bite before looking up at him pointedly. “You are an asshole for pointing it out.”  
  
He grinned, shaking his head. “Cute.” She took a sip of her wine, and immediately sputtered. “Oh, that’s awful.”  
  
He looked at her curiously and then grabbed his own glass, taking a careful sip. He scrunched up his face immediately, then tried to mask it for her sake.  
  
she laughed. “Seriously, it’s awful. I even screwed the wine up.”  
  
“It’s fine, Rey,” he assured her, rising from his seat and walking over to the fridge.  “I’ll just grab something else. What do you want?”  
  
“Just water is fine.”

“Alright, that’s good for me too.” He pulled two bottles of water from the fridge and walked back over, passing one to her. “So, what are you majoring in?”

“Oh, education. I’m double majoring in science and math... I want to teach high school.”

He regarded her thoughtfully. “That’s cool. My mom’s a teacher.”  
  
“Really? That’s amazing! What does she teach?”  
  
“Middle school.” He said it in a closed off way, as if he were ending that line of questioning. She could tell that he wasn’t exactly comfortable talking about this for some reason.  
  
“Are you and your mom… are you close?”

He shook his head. “No, not really.”  
  
“Oh... I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

She wanted to keep him talking, because she loved listening to his voice, so she tried to change the subject.  
  
“So, how does it feel to be a rockstar?”

He ran his hands through his hair. “Honestly? It’s surreal. I’ve been playing music for eight years— mostly in dive bars and tiny venues in the middle of nowhere where they paid us in booze. Then a couple of years ago, some fancy record label producer just happened to be scouting at one of our shows and decided he liked our shit. It’s been a roller coaster ever since.”  
  
“But I mean, it’s exciting right? Playing in a different town every other night?”

He nodded. “It is. It’s what we always wanted. Sometimes though, I don’t know. Sometimes it’s just a lot. Too much noise. Sometimes I miss the old days where it was just us and a few loyal old barflies following us around the county.”  
  
“I get that. How long have you known your band mates?”  
  
“I went to high school with Hux, the redhead, and we met Mitaka and Phasma a few years after we graduated. They’re actually married. Weirdest looking couple I’ve ever seen but damned if they aren’t crazy about each other.”

“Phasma is the drummer? She’s so much taller than him!”

“I know. She totally wears the pants in that relationship. It’s hysterical.”

“It sounds like you guys are close,” Rey remarked warmly.  
  
“Yeah, they’re the only family I’ve really got anymore.”  
  
“What about your dad?”

“Oh, he uh... he died. When I was seventeen. About... eight years ago now?”

“Oh Kylo, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories.”

He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago. What about you? Where are your parents?”  
  
“Ah, well,” she laughed nervously. “I don’t know. They sort of, dropped me off when I was four and then just... didn’t come back.”  
  
His brow furrowed in sympathy. “Shit, Rey. That’s awful. Look at us. Just a bunch of sob stories.”  
  
Rey nodded in agreement. “Enough of this heavy talk. This is a first date, right?”  
  
He smiled at her and she realized what she’d said. “Oh,” she stammered. “Not that this is a date. I didn’t mean it that way. I know we never specified that it was, I just meant—” She stopped herself because Kylo had went from smiling to laughing again.  
  
“You just talk _so_ much when you’re nervous.”

“I’m ridiculous,” she sighed.  
  
“You’re actually pretty fucking incredible. I sort of think I’m becoming addicted to being around you.” His voice had lost that playful tone, going soft to assert the seriousness of his answer.

Their dinner forgotten, she swallowed, the room suddenly seeming impossibly small. Suddenly all the sexual tension she’d forgotten about during their conversation came rushing back with full force. She let her gaze roam over his face, counting the scattered beauty marks that were strewn across his pale skin. He had tucked his hair behind an ear again, which seemed to be a habit, and she now noticed he had black gauges in his ears. Not large enough to be awkward looking, but enough to add an edge to his already sharp appearance.  
“You're staring, Rey,” he pointed out quietly.  
  
“It’s hard not to. You’re kind of beautiful, you know that?”

“I could say the same thing to you.” He shifted in his seat. “You’re kind of far away right now though. I don’t like it.”  
  
“Um, we could... go sit on the couch? I could make some tea?”

“Not thirsty. Couch sounds good. First though, I’m going to be straight with you.”

“Okay?” Her pulse quickened under his heated gaze.  
  
“I really, _really_ want to fuck you tonight.”

Rey almost choked on her own tongue, but he continued.  
  
“The problem is,” he went on. “If I did that— while I have no doubt it would be _phenomenal_ ... I’m leaving tomorrow. For two weeks where I’ll be crazy busy and won’t be able to contact you much or see you. You’ll overthink what we did and you’ll convince yourself it was wrong. I can tell that much about you. So, to prove that this isn’t just a one night stand, I’m going to take you to that couch, I’m going to give you an amazing orgasm, maybe two, then I’m going to leave without having even seen your bedroom. Knowing full well I’m going to be spending the next two weeks wishing I’d just fucked you silly when I had the chance.”  
  
Rey’s chest was rising and falling rapidly as her heart hammered in her chest. He was just so damned _direct_ . It was both maddening and refreshing. She found her tongue a useless organ in her mouth, unable to form real words.  
  
“I’ll need you to tell me if all of that sounds alright, Rey.

Rey found her voice just enough to whisper, “Y-yes.”  
  
“Thank fuck.”

He rose from his seat, yanking her from her chair and pulled her into his arm to carry her across the small space towards the living room. He sat her down on the center of the couch, giving her a once over before tugging at the edge of her tank top.  
  
“I’ll be good, but I need to at least see you this time.” His hands stilled at the fabric of her shirt while his eyes silently asked for permission.

Rey nodded softly, raising her arms so that he could remove her shirt. Underneath, she wore the nicest lacy bra she owned—just in case.  
  
“Fuck _me_. More pink.”

“The underwear match too...”

“ _Christ_ . Let’s see them then,” he groaned as he started pulling at her skinny jeans.  
  
Once she had been sufficiently stripped down to only her bra and panties, she began to feel self conscious underneath the bright lights of her living room. She went to try and cover herself with her hands, but he quickly pulled them away.  
  
“Stop that. Do you have any idea how fucking incredible you look? _Jesus_ , Rey. I’m going to have a hard on for _days_ thinking about you like this.” To prove his point, he took her hand and placed it over the front of his jeans, letting her feel his straining erection pressing against the zipper. She clenched her thighs together, uncomfortably turned on by the effect she had on him.  
  
“This seems a little unfair, I’m so undressed when you’re so... _not_ undressed.”

“Oh baby, I can fix that.” He slid his thumbs under the straps of his suspenders and pulled them to the side, the action against all reason causing wetness to pool between Rey’s legs. Did she have some sort of suspender kink she didn’t know about? Leaving them dangling by his sides, he slowly unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt, peeling it off and tossing it aside. She let her eyes consume the massive expanse of skin he was revealing, the corded abs flowing into his wide, sculpted chest.  
  
Now naked from the waist up, he settled into the couch next to her, tucking her into his side. “I’m leaving my pants on, because if I let my cock get anywhere near you it’ll all be over, and I’m sticking to my plan.”  
  
He weaved his hand into her thick curtain of wavy tresses, angling her neck to have better access to her mouth. He planted soft kisses along her jaw, slowly making a path towards her lips. Rey closed her eyes and simply let herself revel in the feel of his lips on her skin. When he reached her mouth, he captured it with his own.  
  
She felt his tongue press against the seam of her mouth, and she instantly opened to him. He stroked her tongue with his own, licking and sucking in a way that stole her breath. He started so soft but as more time passed he became more and more aggressive.  
  
His free hand reached between them, palming her breast and then pinching a nipple through the fabric. When he moved to show attention to her other breast, his fingers tripped over the front clasp of her bra and he stopped kissing her to examine it. He looked up at her questioningly.  
  
“Front clasp,” she rasped. “You undo it from the front.”

“Fucking fantastic. Can I? Please say that I can.” L

The weight of his want for her showed entirely on his face and Rey had never felt so beautiful or desired. She nodded back at him, and he quickly flicked the clasp holding her bra together, letting the cups fall to the side to bare her breasts.  
  
Kylo groaned and pushed the cups further apart, gazing hungrily at her chest. “I knew they’d be perfect. Fucking _mouthwatering_ .”  
  
He eased her backwards on the couch so that she was half laying down, pressing warm, wet, kisses down her neck and chest as she descended. When she was on her back, Kylo relentlessly licked and sucked the soft flesh of her breast, making his way to the peak to take her nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the rosy peak, nipping it lightly with his teeth. Rey’s back bowed off the couch, but he pressed his pelvis into hers to pin her in place.

He let his massive hand skirt down the length of her body as he continued to focus his attention on her breasts. She felt his fingers tickle the sensitive skin of her stomach, skimming over her navel and pressing onwards to the hem of her underwear. Slipping a hand beneath the lacy fabric, he looked down between them in surprise and then back up at Rey.  
  
“What’s this?” he asked huskily.  
  
“I uh... I got it today.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” he all but whimpered. “You’re killing me. I’m trying to be good here.”

“I can always go back...”

“Are you even real? You’re too perfect.”

She went to protest but he cut off her words with his mouth, kissing her fiercely. He plunged a hand back into her underwear, letting his entire palm feel the smooth skin there. Pressing further, he slid two fingers between her folds and moaned into her mouth when he found her already wet for him.  
  
Rey gasped when he thrusted those same two fingers inside her, coating them in her arousal before bringing them back upwards to focus on her clit. He started with small circles, mapping out a steady pattern.  
  
Breaking their kiss he murmured against her mouth, “Tell me what you want, Rey.”  
  
“I don’t— I can’t—” she stammered between gasps.  
  
“Don’t be embarrassed with me, I want to make this good for you. Tell me how you want me to touch you.”

Swallowing, she whispered, “Harder.”  
  
Kylo immediately obliged, applying more pressure to the tight bundle of nerves. “Like that?”  
  
“Yes,” she hissed. “Faster.”  
  
He started rubbing furious circles into her clit, switching it up every so often to rub a rapid vertical pattern before returning to swift circles. The friction he was creating paired with the sensation of being touched by someone other than herself was enough to drive her wild. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of sensation, to which he immediately protested.

“Open your eyes, Rey,” he urged. “I want you to watched me make you come.” Her eyes flew open, her chest heaving from her state of arousal. “Good girl.”

Still continuing his assault below, he began to kiss a path from her jaw, working his way back down to her exposed breasts. He again took a nipple into his mouth, sucking roughly in time with his fingers. Rey’s body began to grow tight all over, her back bowing with her impending orgasm. She felt delicious pressure spread and burn between her legs as the muscles of her stomach clenched to the point of almost pain.  
  
When Kylo pressed hard into her clit while simultaneously using his teeth to gently bite her nipple, her climax crashed over her with the force of a tidal wave. Her entire body shook, the sensation so overwhelming that her thighs instinctively clenched together to try and halt the motion of his hand. He forcibly continued his ministrations, prolonging her orgasm for as long as she could stand.  
  
When she began to come down from the high of what had just happened, she felt him pressing light kisses up her neck, tracing a path across her jaw and arriving at her mouth. She could only return his kiss lightly, feeling sluggish and spent from the earth shattering orgasm he’d given her.  
  
He propped himself up with one arm, looking down at her, his hair creating a dark curtain over his face. His eyes roamed over her body slowly, drinking in her breathless appearance. “Fuck Rey, there’s nothing in the world that looks as good as you do right now.”

Her instinct was to feel shy and embarrassed, but with Kylo looking at her like she was some sort of ethereal creature, she only felt beautiful and wanted. She wound her arms around his neck, pulling him back down to her to kiss him again, relishing the way his mouth fit hers. She could feel the hardness of him pressed against her still sensitive core, and she ground her hips into his to feel more of him.  
  
He broke away from her, burying his face into her neck and shuddering at the contact. “ _Ah_ , baby if you keep doing that I’m going to embarrass myself like a fucking teenager.”  
  
“I want more of you,” she whispered, braver than she felt.  
  
He groaned. “You have no idea how much I’d love to give you more, but I don’t want my first time with you to be a quick fuck where I have to sneak out in the middle of the night or early morning for rehearsals tomorrow. I want to be able to wake up the next day and take you all over again when you’re still half asleep. Just trust me Rey, the wait is going to be _so_ worth it.”  
  
She pouted, feeling like a petulant child being told no. “Everything you’re saying makes sense,” she whined. “But being sensible sounds so shitty right now.”  
  
He laughed at her tone. Leaning up to look at her. “I promise to make it up to you. In fact, I _do_ believe I promised you at least one more orgasm.”  
  
“I don’t know if I could survive another.”

“I think we’ll manage.”

He planted soft kisses across her mouth, traveling over her jaw and down her neck. He continued his path, pressing feather soft kisses on every inch of skin he came across. When his facial hair scraped across a particularly sensitive area around her navel, she jerked a little, giggling.

He peered up at her with one eyebrow raised. “Something funny?”  
  
She bit her lip. “Tickles.”

He leaned down and purposefully rubbed his chin over the same spot, causing her to erupt in more giggles. He laughed with her, his face then growing more serious. “Okay, on to business.”

Rey squirmed beneath him, suddenly nervous. “You don’t have to…”

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s not that... I’ve only done that once and I just—” She put her hands over her face. “God I’m so embarrassing.”  
  
“Stop that,” he chided. “I told you that you don’t have to be embarrassed with me. Finish what you were going to say.”  
  
“It just didn’t work on me,” she whispered. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“Or maybe the fucknut you were with didn’t know what he was doing.”

“I don’t know... Finn—” she started, but he cut her off.  
  
“Ugh,” he huffed irritably. “Let’s not talk about the fucknut.”

  
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot.”  
  
“Hey, _no_ . I’m not angry. I’m just not used to feeling so… _possessive_. Hearing about some other dude getting to touch you sort of makes me want to drag you into a cave by your hair— or maybe just punch the fucknut. Not used to that feeling.”

She squirmed again, but he held her hips down in place.

“Listen,” he started again. “there’s nothing wrong with you, and if you’re okay with it, there’s literally nothing more in the world that I’d rather do right now than get my mouth on you.”

  
She wasn’t use to this sort of openness when it came to sex, and it had her all sorts of flustered. Kylo had no problem apparently going for whatever he wanted. She told herself again that she could be that brave girl, and she nodded slowly while chewing on her lip in anticipation.  
  
“I’m so nervous,” she admitted.  
  
“ _Shh_ . Don’t think so much.”  
  
He pressed a kiss to her hip bone, hooking his fingers into the hem of her underwear and slowly sliding them down and off her legs. When he saw Jyn’s handiwork, he sucked in a shaky breath.  
  
“It feels like my birthday,” he murmured.  
  
Rey felt herself warm under his hooded gaze, and when he slipped a hand underneath her thigh to part her legs, she felt her pulse quicken with excitement. Kylo nipped his teeth into the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, following the mark with his tongue. He trailed searing kisses up the soft expanse, and by the time she felt his breath on her core she was shaking with need.  
  
“ _Christ_ , Rey. I knew you’d have a beautiful pussy. So fucking pink and perfect. I told you pink was my new favorite color, right?”

He was so close to her opening she could feel every word reverberate against her, his words turning her on even more so that she was softly moaning by the time he was done speaking. In one swift movement he swiped his wide tongue up the length of her slit, causing her back to arch from the contact. He gripped her hips with both of his large hands, pulling her deeper onto his tongue and trapping her in place.  
  
He had all but found himself on the floor at this point, down on his knees with Rey angled off the couch so that he could keep her exactly where he wanted her. He pressed a searching tongue to her opening, filling her with it as if it were his cock. The sensation of his warm tongue lapping at her entrance was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced, and she felt raw and exposed. She was too dazed to feel any embarrassment, and she found herself pushing closer to his face to chase the feeling.  
  
He dragged his tongue up the length of her, reaching her throbbing clit and applying delicious pressure. He circled it furiously with his tongue, lapping a dizzying pattern. When he latched his lips around it and began to suck in earnest, Rey thought she would come apart at the seams from the intensity. He continued to pull at it with his lips and tongue, while at the same time reaching between them with one of his hands and inserting two thick digits inside her. He spread his fingers repeatedly, stretching her inner walls before pumping them in and out in rapid succession, all the while continuing to devote all his attention to her throbbing clit.

Everything was too much.

Rey was a lightning rod, and he was the only thing grounding her to the Earth. She was a conduit of sensation, and every nerve ending in her body was alive in a way she’d never felt before.

When her orgasm washed over her, it was like a rain of stars crashing into her. Her blood roared in her ears and she distantly heard shouting only to find it was her own voice screaming out. She clenched her thighs around Kylo’s head as she shook from the aftershock of her climax. He continued to pull at her clit with those full, plush lips, eliciting wave after wave of pleasure until she could no longer stand it. He only released her when she was whimpering and begging softly for him to, mewling that she couldn’t take anymore. 

When she was spent and still coming down from the high, Kylo gently untangled himself from her legs, pressing light kisses down her thigh before lingering to leave a forceful one at her knee. Her limbs being the consistency of jello at this point, he gently scooped her up in his arms and asked which way her bedroom was.  
  
She thought she replied, but couldn’t be sure because she was barely sure she was even alive at that point. She sighed into his broad chest, idly tracing a light pattern over the smooth skin there with her pinky finger. He pressed a kiss to her temple and muttered something about broken promises.  
  
“Hm?”

“I said I would leave without seeing your bedroom,” he chuckled softly.

  
“Mm. Could stay.”

“Sweetheart,” he answered softly. “ If I did that we’d be in a world of trouble. You need sleep I think.”

He opened the door to her tiny bedroom, taking a moment to glance around at his surroundings, then grabbed the old t-shirt she’d been wearing earlier that was slung over her desk chair. Pulling off her bra the rest of the way, he chucked it onto her desk and then gently pulled the t-shirt down over her head. He laughed quietly at the space joke printed on the front, mumbling about nerd shirts. She couldn’t be sure.  
  
He pulled the covers over her and she heard him say that he would lock the door behind him and promised she’d hear from him soon. She could already feel herself drifting. As he turned out the lamp by her bedside table and made to leave the room, she missed him turning back to take one last long look at her as he whispered, “So glad you got lost, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Sorry to cock-block, but Rey is special and Kylo is a gentleman. Well, for the most part. ;) Hopefully this was enough to get everyone by until they can, ahem, take their time. *drool* (I just wrote that chapter by the way, just you wait.) XD


	5. Missing Anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well sheesh, guys. 300! I’m going to run out of completed chapters at this rate.

Rey woke the next morning with the languid movements of a cat rousing itself in the sun. She rolled her muscles, stretching them as she came to. The night prior might have been the best night’s sleep she’d ever gotten. There was something to be said for being put to bed with orgasms, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last time.   
  
She wished she’d been more lucid when Kylo had left last night— she’d barely gotten to tell him goodbye. The weeks that spanned ahead marking the long space of time before she could see him again loomed over her. She thought about how much she would genuinely  _ miss _ him, and then consequently thought about how insane it was that she was so wrapped up in him having just met him. He was just so...  _ much _ — just in general. 

Every standard of man she’d held in her mind was obliterated by all that was Kylo Ren. Her mind drifted to what it would feel like when he finally decided he’d tired of her.    
  
She immediately shook off that train of thought, telling herself to just enjoy things for once in her life. Things like this didn’t happen to people like her. Sex Gods didn’t just decide they had a thing for quiet, education majors from nowhere. So, for as long as it lasted, she would enjoy every second of it. She glanced at the clock on her wall, finding it just past eight. 

She counted herself lucky that she woke so soon since she hadn’t had the mental capacity to remember to set an alarm the evening before. She had a class at ten, her last one before the final.    
  
In all reality, she  _ should _ have been studying this weekend— but she couldn’t find an ounce of regret about her alternate course of action. She rolled to the side, grabbing her phone from the charger and smiling widely when she saw Kylo had already sent her a text about an hour ago.   
  
**Kylo:** I hope you know it’s killing me to know that if I’d been able to stay I’d be inside you right now.   
  
Rey felt a blush creep up her neck. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the way he just  _ said _ every dirty thing that passed through his head. Everything about Kylo Ren both exhilarated her, and at the same time— scared the  _ shit _ out of her. She wasn’t sure if he was still free, but decided to type out a reply anyway.   
  
**Rey:** I am not excited about the next two weeks. :(    
  
It was less than a minute before she saw the dots dance across the conversation window, indicating that he was replying.   
  
**Kylo:** You’re fucking telling me. It’s going to be difficult to play these shows with a hard on.    
  
Rey laughed out loud.    
  
**Rey:** Well, at least it would make for interesting news.    
  
**Kylo:** True. At least I have a nice memento to remember you by.   
  
Confused, Rey tried to recall what he could be referring to, but came up blank.   
  
**Rey:** What are you talking about?   
  
**Kylo:** I don’t know... are you missing anything?   
  
**Rey:** Did you steal something from my apartment? Lol   
  
**Kylo:** Mm, more like your wardrobe.   
  
It hit Rey all at once what he was referring to. It became quite clear when she’d sat up to glance around her room— that he had definitely put her to bed  _ without _ underwear.   
  
**Rey:** You didn’t.    
  
Instead of sending another text, a picture message came through. It was a close up of Kylo’s pocket, and peeking out of it— the same pink underwear she’d been wearing the night before.   
  
**Rey:** You’re terrible.   
  
**Kylo:** I’ll give them back. Maybe.   
  
**Rey:** Aren’t you a little old for a panty raid?   
  
**Kylo:** Never. ;) What are you doing today?   
  
**Rey:** I have a class at 10 and then free for the rest of the day. I’ll probably study. Final on Friday.   
  
**Kylo:** Nervous?   
  
**Rey:** A little. I need to do well on this last final.    
  
**Kylo:** You’re going to do great. Don’t stress so much.   
  
**Rey:** Thank you. :)   
  
**Kylo:** I have to go, the entire studio is currently giving me death looks because we should be rehearsing.    
  
**Rey:** I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you.   
  
**Kylo: D** on’t apologize. You can keep me anytime. ;)    
  
Rey smiled to herself and shot him a quick goodbye before closing their conversation. She still had at least a half hour before she needed to be up and getting ready, and decided to do a little digging on Kylo. She typed his name into the search bar, and she was immediately met with hundreds of photos of him throughout the last couple years. The the oldest ones were of much poorer quality, and she guessed they were submitted by a few diehard fans from before the band took off.    
  
One photo had to be several years old, Kylo looked to be only eighteen or so. His hair was considerably shorter, curling slightly around his ears, and his face was smooth-shaven. His arms were free of tattoos, and his ears weren’t pierced either. He had his arm around a pale, wiry boy with bright red hair who she recognized as the bassist, Hux. 

He looked much more approachable with his hair smoothed short over his head instead of gelled up in its current fan state. Both boys were grinning wildly, their skin shiny with sweat. Hux had his hand positioned in the typical rock gesture, his pointer finger and pinky extended while his other digits were tucked under his thumb.     
  
Without all the harsh edges of his current appearance, Kylo looked just like a normal boy who might have walked the halls of her high school. While the current Kylo made her burn, this one made her smile wistfully. 

Something about his face tugged at something inside her, as if familiar. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she couldn’t help but feel like she’d seen this picture before. She shrugged off the thought, telling herself she probably stumbled across an article on Facebook at some point before she knew who the band was and then forgot it.    
  
She pulled her search bar back up, wanting to sate her curiosity regarding Kylo’s suspenders, which was rapidly becoming a direct line to her libido. Her search pulled up a few interview articles, so she clicked the most recent one and began to read. The interviewer tried several times to steer the conversation to Kylo’s past and home life, but he skirted the issue politely every time. Finding what she was hunting for, she came to the part where the interviewer brought up the suspenders.   
  
“ _ So Kylo, the suspenders are a pretty big topic of conversation when it comes to the band. You don’t really see people these days sporting them, especially when it comes to punk rock. I’m sure there’s a story there- right? _ ”   
  
“ **_Nothing too interesting. My dad wore them religiously, for as long as I can remember. He passed away a few years ago, and it didn’t feel right throwing them away. I guess I wear them because they remind me of him_ ** .”   
  
“ _ I’m so sorry for your loss. I have to say though, if the ladies weren’t fawning over you before, they’re sure to be after a story like that! _ ”   
  
Rey closed the article tab, chewing on her lip. She wished she’d waited and asked him herself. She felt odd knowing such an intimate detail about him because she’d read about it online. She vowed not to google him again, telling herself she wanted to get to know the real Kylo—  not the world’s perception of him.    
  
Suddenly she remembered ironically that Rose had said Kylo was just a stage name. That made her feel incredibly awkward. His mouth had been between her legs and she didn’t even know his real name. How  _ ridiculous _ . 

Then again— their entire time together thus far had been ridiculous if she was being honest with herself. Still… the small details she hadn’t figured out yet were not enough to override the pure excitement he made her feel. She’d simply ask him next time they talked about it. It wouldn’t be weird... hopefully.    


* * *

Several hours later, Rey walked out of her class feeling pretty confident. The material had all been familiar and the prep work the professor had provided had been a breeze. All she had to do was ace this last final and she’d be graduating next Saturday with full marks. Finally she could relax for a little while before job hunting. The last four years of her life had been non stop business, it might be nice to just take it easy. Maybe Kylo would have some free time…

She shook her head. Who’s to say he’d even still be around by then? No use getting herself all worked up so soon in their… relationship? Would she even call it that? Why did she have to overthink everything? It was exhausting how many scenarios she could work up in her head before even just one had time to play out. She blew out an annoyed breath and stepped out of the building onto the sidewalk.    
  
Lost in thought, she didn’t see the person cutting across the lawn and making a beeline for her direction. By the time he was close enough to catch her attention, she almost ran right into him.    
  
“Hey, Rey! Long time no see.” 

Rey had to physically stop herself from audibly groaning. Finn was the last person she wanted to see. She’d managed to avoid him this entire semester, ever since that disastrous party last year that had marked the end of their relationship. She hadn’t wanted to go, but of course he’d guilted her into it. He could never understand that she just wasn’t interested in drinking herself silly with a bunch of rowdy morons.    
  
She wasn’t sure how they fell in together in the first place. Rose had introduced them early last Spring, and he’d been so  _ persistent _ . Captain of the football team, she’d been flattered that he would have been interested in a quiet study bug like her. 

At first it was actually pretty fun being with Finn, but he was all about the parties, and was always making her feel guilty for wanting to just stay in.    
  
“Oh, heyhi Finn. How are you?” She shuffled awkwardly, pulling at the hem of her t-shirt nervously.    
  
He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m pretty good.. haven’t seen you around in awhile. Thought you’d transferred, or maybe you’ve just been avoiding me?”   
  
She looked down at her feet. “Well... not actively or anything.”   
  
His brow furrowed. “That’s pretty unfair Rey. You’re the one who dumped me.”   
  
Her mouth fell open. “Are you kidding me right now?”   
  
“What? No. I mean, you blow up on me in the middle of all my friends and then you throw your drink in my face and storm out. I tried calling you for weeks before I finally got the picture and gave up.”

“Finn, seriously? You kissed another girl. You didn’t even try to hide it. I mean, it was a crowded party.” 

“Ah, Rey,” he waved her off flippantly. “That didn’t mean anything. I was drunk. She meant nothing.” 

“It meant something to me, Finn. It humiliated me,” she ground out angrily. “Listen, it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t really care enough about this right now to hash it out with you on the sidewalk. I’ve got places to be.” She brushed past him, heading towards the bus stop.    
  
Finn jogged after her, determined. “Look, all I’m saying is we had a good thing. I just wish you’d at least talk to me, see if this isn’t something we could start over with.”   
  
“Sorry, I’m actually with someone else,” she shot back at him with all the confidence she could muster.    
  
“What? Who?” 

She shrugged. “You don’t know him.”    
  
Finn got an odd look on his face. “Ah, Rey. You don’t have to make someone up just to avoid the conversation.”   
  
“Excuse me?” She was practically yelling then. “I’m not making him up.” 

Finn laughed. “Sure Rey, I’m just saying, I’d love to get together sometime. You’ve got my number.” He waved at her and strutted away, somehow coming out on top of what should have been her moment of pure gratification.    
  
“Kylo was right,” she muttered to herself. “He  _ is _ a fucknut.”

She stood at the stop to await the next bus and pulled out her cellphone to call Rose. When she unlocked it she saw she’d missed a call just after noon, while she was in class. It was one now, she wondered if he’d still be free. She dialed his number quickly, hoping he might answer.    
  
It rang four times before rolling over to his voicemail, and his deep voice tumbled over the speaker stating he wasn’t here right now but toleave a message. Basic voicemail greeting.    
  
“Hey,” she started. “I saw where I missed your call. I’m sorry. My class today was a three hour block... I just got out. I wish I could have talked to you. Is it weird if I say I... I don’t know. I miss you? That’s weird right? I mean I met you barely forty eight hours ago. I promise I’m not being clingy, I’m just saying... Damn it. I’m rambling again. Just pretend I never said any of that and I just said something cool. I’m hanging up now.”   
  
She hit the end button forcefully, groaning at how ridiculous she was. If that psychotic babbling didn’t have him running for the hills, then she didn’t know what would. The bus pulled up to the corner and she put her fare in the box before taking a seat near the back.    
  
She opened her phone again to attempt to call Rose again, who answered on the second ring.   
  
“I hope you know the fact that you had class this morning does not excuse the fact that you didn’t call me first thing and give me all the details about your date,” she started in on Rey irritably.   
  
Rey rolled her eyes and went to respond but Rose cut her off.    
  
“Unless,” she continued. “He was still over this morning? Eh?”    
  
“ _ No _ , he left last night.” 

“ _ Boo _ ,” Rose groaned. “That sounds incredibly boring.” 

  
“Well... he did leave with my underwear,” Rey giggled.    
  
“Oh my God. You slut! I want every detail.” 

Rey quietly recounted the highlights of the previous evening, taking great care not to be too loud. She was the only passenger at the moment sitting at the back of the bus, but didn’t want to risk the driver hearing all about her debauchery. When she was finished, Rose was practically whooping with glee.   
  
“Jesus, Rey. Where did you find this guy? More importantly, does he have a brother?” 

Rey felt a little guilty not being entirely truthful to Rose about her date, but until she could talk it over with Kylo, she wasn’t sure if telling her friends about them was okay. “I don’t know if he has a brother. I’ll be sure to ask him.”   
  
“So you’re seeing him again?” Rose pressed.   
  
“I hope so... he had to go out of town for a couple of weeks for his job, but promises we’ll see each other when he comes back. We’ve been texting...” 

“He’d be stupid not to,” Rose huffed.   
  
“Thanks, Rose. I— I really like him.”

“I’m happy for you girl. I really hope he’s as amazing as he seems. If not I’ll have to turn his balls into pincushions.”

“Remind me to stay on your good side,” Rey laughed.   
  
“So what are you doing the rest of the night? Want to watch a movie or something?”

“I wish, I have that last final on Friday and I really need to study. Rain check?” 

“Of course! Call me tomorrow, or even later if you end up getting bored. I’ll be around.” 

“I will. I see my stop coming up though, I’ll talk to you later.”

Rose said goodbye, and they both hung up just in time for the bus to squeal to a stop— the driver opening up the doors. Rey thanked him for the ride and hopped out onto the sidewalk. She walked the block to her apartment building and climbed the stairs, letting herself inside her apartment.   
  
Her stomach growled, the quick breakfast she’d grabbed on the way to class was hours ago. Rey rummaged through the cabinets in her kitchen and found a box of granola bars that had yet to be emptied. Not the most filling lunch she’d ever had, but it got the job done.    
  
She carried her minimal meal into her bedroom and sat at her desk to go over her notes. Booting up her laptop, she went into her Spotify and searched for the Knights of Ren’s band page, deciding to familiarize herself more with Kylo’s music while she studied. She spent the next hour poring over her cramped handwriting, tattooing the material into her brain as best she could. 

Kylo’s rumbling voice pouring through the speakers was a definite improvement upon the situation.

When the same song that he’d ended his concert with started playing, she closed her eyes and remembered how much her heart had hammered when he’d held her gaze at the end.

Her concentration was broken by a buzzing on the desks surface, signaling a received text. Normally she would ignore it while she studied, but knowing it might be Kylo was too great a temptation to pass up.   
  
Sure enough, his name lit up her lock screen, and she smiled as she swiped left to check the message. Her mouth fell open when she saw the picture message he’d sent. He was standing in front of a mirror in what looked to be a dressing room, taking a picture of his reflection. He looked sinful in his tight black jeans and matching tank, his long hair tumbling down to his shoulders as he looked down into the camera on his phone. 

What really drew her eyes however— was his newest accessory. In place of his normal darker suspenders, he now had on a set of soft, rose-colored pink ones. In lieu of a caption he’d merely sent a winking emoji as a follow up.

Rey smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. He was so  _ ridiculous _ — a fact that made her incredibly happy. She quickly typed out a response. 

**Rey:** You didn’t   
  
**Kylo:** I did. :)   
  
**Rey:** I’m smiling so hard.  
  
 **Kylo:** Worth it then. Hux gave me so much shit when my assistant came back with them.   
  
**Rey:** I’m sure they were incredibly confused when you requested them.   
  
**Kylo:** Cassian is usually a grumpy shit, so it made me very happy to have him be the one to go track down pink suspenders.   
  
**Rey:** You’re terrible. I can’t believe you asked for them. Lol.  
  
 **Kylo:** Color isn’t quite what I had in mind, I asked for “the color of Rey’s nipples”... but without a photo for reference Cassian didn’t have much to go off of.  
  
 **Rey:** Shut your mouth! No you didn’t.  
  
 **Kylo:** Okay maybe I didn’t. I bet you’re blushing now though.   
  
Her cheeks were certainly warm, but then again— she was blushing most of the time that she was talking to Kylo.  
  
 **Rey:** Are you really wearing them tonight?  
  
 **Kylo:** Oh I am.  
  
 **Rey:** That’ll be a high point of conversation among your fans I imagine.  
  
**Kylo:** It’s going to be so fun.  
  
 **Rey:** You’re kind of maniacal.   
  
**Kylo:** You have no idea.  
  
Rey laughed. He said that a lot when it came to her pointing out his devious tendencies. Another text came through before she could respond.   
  
**Kylo:** Unfortunately I have to go. Sound check. Will you be awake later?   
  
**Rey:** I’ll probably have to turn in early... I have work in the morning.   
  
**Kylo:** Where do you work?  
  
 **Rey:** The bookstore on campus.  
  
 **Kylo:** Hmm. Yeah, I could see it.  
  
 **Rey:** Was that another nerd jab.  
  
 **Kylo:** Maybe. ;)  
  
 **Rey:** I’m rolling my eyes.  
  
 **Kylo:** That sort of turns me on.   
  
**Rey:** Lol, What doesn’t?  
  
 **Kylo:** True. I’m learning there isn’t much about you that doesn’t turn me on. :)  
  
 **Rey:** Lol, Go to sound check! I have to study and you’re being bad.  
  
 **Kylo:** Fine, fine. Call you tomorrow? I should have some free time on the road to the next show.   
  
**Rey:** How about I call you on my lunch break?  
  
 **Kylo:** Can’t wait.   
  
They texted their goodbyes, and she put her phone back down just to have it immediately buzz again. Thinking Kylo had more to say she snatched it up, only to be unpleasantly surprised to see Finn’s name flashing across the screen.  
  
 **Finn:** Hey Rey, I know you were angry earlier but I really would love to catch up sometime. Just think about it.  
  
She rolled her eyes and tossed the phone behind her on the bed. The nerve of that guy. She thought he’d given up when she’d vehemently ignored all his contact attempts after their somewhat messy breakup. She wished she’d could just rub it in his face that she had much better prospects now. 

The thought caught her off guard, wondering if she ever would be able to tell people about her and Kylo’s... relationship? She still wasn’t sure if that was even the right word. She wanted to ask him, but thought it would be a conversation better had in person. Turning back to her notes, she spent the rest of the afternoon absorbed in her coursework— preparing for her final and trying desperately (sometimes failing) not to to daydream about the gorgeous rock star in pink suspenders.


	6. A Productive Purchase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame janeitesarah. XD
> 
> So, I wrote this with every intention of uploading it directly after Chapter 5. I didn’t intend for it to be my third chapter upload in one day though. Sigh. Just a mini chapter, but you might notice the POV switch.. ;)

Kylo pulled his phone from his pocket, checking it for the third time in the last hour. It was Friday, and Rey had been in class taking her final for over three hours, so she should be done anytime. The last few days had been a whirlwind, in more ways than one.  
  
He thought back to that moment at the Rose Bowl show, when he’d spotted her in the crowd. She was so out of place in that tight pink top, _fucking pink_ — standing in a sea of black.

She looked like fucking _candy_.

He’d never had such a visceral reaction like that before just from looking at a girl. He had to adjust himself just thinking about it.  
  
He could have fucked her against that bathroom wall— she was just drunk enough to allow it. It didn’t feel right though. You don’t fuck a girl like Rey in a bathroom. You take your time with her, and fuck did he ever want to. It’s all he’d thought about all week. He’d been carrying around her damn panties for days like a creep. He couldn’t help it. All that _pink_. He couldn’t even look at the color without getting half-hard.

She’d ruined him.  
  
“Ben, give it a rest, you’re being such a fucking pussy,” Hux laughed from across the room.   
  
Kylo looked up to see him tuning his bass, giving him an amused expression. Hux was the only person who called him Ben anymore. His best friend was the only band mate he’d told about Rey— something he was now regretting due to the massive shit he’s been dishing out.   
  
“They’re still talking about the new spends online. I can’t believe you wore them to Anaheim,” Hux snorted, shaking his head. “Did she like them?”   
  
Kylo smiled, thinking back to the phone call he’d gotten on Rey’s lunch yesterday, the day after the Anaheim show.   
  
“ _So the internet is going crazy about your wardrobe change_ ,” she’d teased.

“ _Mm, but what did you think_?”

“ _Ah, well_ ,” she’d replied embarrassedly. “ _I really,_ really _like them_.”   
  
Back to the present— he was still smiling over how shy she gets when she’s admitting something turns her on. Rey was like a wet dream wrapped in a pink blanket. He’d coaxed her into another round of phone sex later that night. He could still hear her moans in his ear. So hot, but still not enough.

He wanted the real thing.  
  
“It was definitely a productive purchase,” Kylo told Hux slyly.   
  
Hux shook his head. “You’ve got it bad, man.”   
  
“You have _no_ idea.”

“You going to tell her?”

Kylo snapped his head in Hux’s direction, defensively reaching for the wallet in his pocket. “I just got her man. I have to… I have to ease into it.”  
  
Hux sighed. “I’m just saying, you wait too long she’s liable to be royally pissed when she finds out.”   
  
Kylo sighed. Hux was right, but he wasn’t ready yet. “I’ll tell her. When I’m sure it won’t run her off.”   
  
Hux nodded thoughtfully. “Sorry, not trying to be a downer.”   
  
“I know. Don’t sweat it.”

“On a better note, if you want to see her so badly why not drive her down to the show tomorrow? Didn’t you say she has her last final today?”  
  
Kylo perked up. Why hadn’t that occurred to him until now? “Hux, I could fucking kiss you right now.”   
  
Hux rolled his eyes. “You wish, dick. Save it for Rey.”   
  
Kylo tapped out a quick message to Rey, telling her to call him when she had the chance. Hux kicked him lightly and said they needed to practice. Struck with an idea, Kylo asked him, “Hey what would you say about doing a cover for the encore?”   
  
“Are we going to be attributing to your sex life with this plan?”

“Fuck, I hope so,” Kylo laughed.  
  
Hux threw his arms up in defeat. “Well by all means. I know how hard it is for you to get girls with an ugly mug like yours.”   
  
Kylo threw the guitar pick he’d been twiddling in his idle hand straight at Hux, who dodged it moments before it collided with his head. “Shut the fuck up.”   
  
Laughing, Hux added, “Phasma is going to give you so much shit when she finds out.”   
  
Kylo rolled his eyes. “What else is new?”   
  
Hux was still laughing as he got up from his seat and walked down the hall to the rehearsal room. Like true serendipity, Kylo felt his phone start buzzing in his lap, and the photo he’d had to beg Rey to send flashed across the screen. He quickly answered her call and put it to his ear.   
  
“Come to San Diego,” he immediately said into the receiver.

“Um, hi. Bossy. What are you talking about?”

Kylo grinned. “You heard me. Come to San Diego. Tomorrow. For the show.”  
  
“You’re serious? You want me to come?” She sounded unsure then, and he could almost imagine the way she was biting at her lip nervously.

“Well, yes, after the show we’ll get to that.”

It took her a moment to catch his double entendre, but he heard her groan once it hit her. “You’re terrible.”  
  
“I think you like it. Say you’ll come. I can send Cassian after you to drive you up. You can bring your friends if you want. I’ll get them a hotel room, as long as they know you’ll be staying in mine.”

She was quiet on the other end, thinking he assumed. “Rey?”

  
“I’m here. It’s just... well, I haven’t told Rose about you.”

  
“Ashamed of me there, Rey?”   
  
“Of _course_ not,” she snorted. “I guess I didn’t know what to tell her. I don’t know what this is... and besides I’m afraid she wouldn’t believe me if I told her.”

“Well, what this is— is a man who is incredibly into a woman, and wants her here very badly so he can do even worse things to her.” He grinned into the receiver, almost _seeing_ the the way she would be fidgeting. “As far as believing you... pretty sure she’ll come to terms with it once you’re both here, and I can’t keep my hands off you.”   
  
She giggled, a sound that was increasingly becoming like heroin for him. “Well... that’s going to be a fun conversation. Of course I’ll come. I— I really want to see you too.”   
  
“Fuck yes. I have to go rehearse, but I’ll text you the details.”

“Okay, sounds good.”  
  
“Oh, and Rey?”

“Yeah?”   
  
“Wear the top,” he murmured.   
  
Her answer came a little breathlessly. “Top?”   
  
“The pink one.”

He could almost see her cheeks growing pink under the implication. When her skin flushed like that it made him eager to taste it.   
  
“Okay.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up, Kylo stuffing his phone into his pocket and heading down the hall to go over his plan with the rest of his band mates.   
  
This was going to be some fucking night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, seriously. I have to be good for awhile. XD I don’t know how many Kylo mini’s there will be. I just write them when they fit naturally. *shrugs*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 400! Seriously? I can’t even express how happy I am. You guys are just the best. I finished another chapter today, so of course I have to give you one to celebrate. <3

     Rey sat in her apartment on Friday afternoon, waiting for Rose to show up. Kylo had texted her the details for tomorrow a little bit ago, saying that Cassian would be there to pick them up around three tomorrow afternoon. Now she only just had to come clean to Rose. Rose was coming with pizza under the guise of celebrating Rey “kicking her last final’s ass”. Jyn was coming too. Rey liked Jyn, she had actually texted Rey the day after her date to see how it went.

     Rey had been a little embarrassed at first, but Jyn was so easy going she found it really easy to talk to her. They’d been chatting off and on for the last few days, so Rey was all for it when Rose asked if she could bring her along. Rey planned to invite Jyn to the concert as well, so that Rose would have someone to hang out with if Rey ended up being.. occupied elsewhere. 

     Rey blushed at the thought, knowing full well where the events of tomorrow would lead. She was an equal mixture of nervous and excited. The thought of being with Kylo intimately made her pulse race. That nagging voice in the back of her head goaded her with doubt about the possibility of her being less than stellar and disappointing him. She shook it off quickly, telling herself to stop being such a worrywart. 

     Her doorbell rang then, and she jumped off the couch to let the girls in. Rose swept past her carrying a giant pizza box while Jyn gave her cool nod and followed. 

     “So,” Rose started excitedly. “You did it! Now you’re officially done! How do you feel about the final?”

     “I feel pretty good about it actually.” Rey replied. “I had a little trouble with the theory part, but I think I muddled through it.”

     Rose waved her off, opening up the pizza box and grabbing a slice. “I’m sure you did great. Just think, next stop, graduation!”

     Rey nodded, grabbing some food for herself as well. “I can’t believe it’s already here.”

     Jyn spoke up. “It sneaks up on you. Are you nervous about being out in the real world?”

     Rey shrugged. “I haven’t even applied to any schools yet. I guess it hasn’t felt real. I need to start sending out my resume.”

     Rose huffed. “At least you’re done, I still have three more years for my DPT program before I can start working full time.”

     Jyn reached over to tear into the food. “Hey, you wanted to be a physical therapist just like your Dad.”

     “Yeah, I know.” Rose agreed. “I’m just so jealous both of you get to be real adults now while I’m still going to be stuck at school.”

     “It will fly by before you know it.” Jyn assured her. “It took me a couple of years after getting my business degree to get Stripped off the ground. Still can’t believe how well it’s doing.”

     “I can’t believe you own it!” Rey gushed. “I just thought you worked there.”

     Jyn shrugged. “Most people do, maybe it’s because I’m only twenty five, or maybe it’s the piercing.” She laughed. 

     Rey chewed nervously, knowing she needed to approach the subject of tomorrow night but not knowing how. 

     “So do you work this weekend?” Rose asked.

     “Um, well I had a shift tomorrow, but I traded it for Monday.” Rey replied.

     “Why? You have plans?” Rose responded curiously.

     “Well... yes. I do. Which is also part of the reason I asked you to come over.” Rey offered.

     Rose cocked and eyebrow at her, interested. “Are you being sneaky Rey? That’s new. What’s going on?” 

     “Would you and Jyn like to go to another Knights of Ren concert in San Diego tomorrow night?” Rey asked, chewing the inside of her lip.

     Rose and Jyn exchanged a confused look before Rose responded. “You bought tickets to another concert? In San Diego? That’s almost three hours away! Jesus, Rey when you become a fan you really commit.”

     “Well,” Rey started. “I didn’t actually buy them.”

     Rose scrunched up her nose. “What are you getting at? You’re being weird.”

     Rey sighed. “So, my date the other night, Kyle?”

     Rose and Jyn nodded, urging her to continue.

     “Well, I actually ran into him in the bathroom.” Rey offered. 

     Rose slowly waved her hand in a circular motion, signaling for her to get on with it.

     “I met him in the backstage bathroom.” Rey pressed.

     Jyn shrugged while Rose just stared at her blankly. “I’m not following you here Rey.”

     Rey groaned. They were going to make her say it. “Fine. Kyle? His name’s not Kyle. It’s.. Kylo.”

     Rose’s eyes widened as everything fell into place. “Shut the fuck up.”

     Rey grimaced. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

     “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Rose half shouted. 

     “I’m not.” Rey said nervously. 

     “YOU’VE BEEN BANGING A ROCK STAR AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?” Rose bellowed.

     “I know, I _know_. I just, it hasn’t felt real, and I still don’t even know if this is a real thing, but I like him Rose. I like him a lot. Plus, technically we aren’t  _banging_.” Rey sputtered.

     Jyn reaches across Rey’s little table to offer a fist bump. “Nice. I guess that means my waxes are famous now. I should put a sign outside the shop.” She waved a hand across the air like an imaginary marquee. “Stripped’s Famous Waxes: Enjoyed by Rock Royalty.”

     Rey laughed out loud. Glancing at Rose, who looked to still be dumbfounded, she added. “Are you mad at me?”

     Rose gave her a shell shocked expression. “What? No. I mean, yeah I wish you’d told me. Shit, Rey, I’m fucking _proud_ of you. Like, I feel like a proud parent right now. My little baby, getting dirty with Kylo Ren. I’m only like, thirty percent jealous.” She laughed.

     Jyn nodded in agreement. “Speaking of jealous, I have to ask. His cock, it’s got to be made of like bronze right? No one looks that good and has a lame cock.”

     Rose nodded, encouraging this line of questioning. “Yes, details! If I’d knew _Kyle_ was actually sex on a stick _Kylo Ren_ , I’d have definitely forced more details out of you! Is he into anything weird?”

     Rey covered her face in her hands. “No, I mean, I don’t think so? Nothing that has come up anyway. As far as his.. well his..”

     “Cock, Rey. You’re an adult. You can say it.” Rose laughed. 

     “Ugh. Yes. That. I haven’t actually... seen it yet.” Rey stammered, her face probably the shade of a tomato at this point.

     “What?!” Jyn shouted.

     “We did.. other things,” she offered. “but he wanted to wait until he didn’t have to rush off the next day and not see me for a while. He said he wanted to take his time.”

     “Oh right, I remember now. It’s hard for me to put you recounting your evening with Kyle together with fucking _Kylo Ren_. You didn’t tell me that’s why you only did other things. I guess you couldn’t though could you? Um, swoon?” Rose exclaimed. “When you get married you have to name your first kid after me.” 

     Rey shook her head. “Oh my God. It’s not like that, I mean, I just met him.”

     “So I’m guessing he wants to bring you down to San Diego because he can’t hold out any longer for a piece of Rey cake?” Jyn asked.

     Rey blushed harder. “He wants to see me, yeah.”

     “He wants to see _something_.” Rose said, grinning wickedly.

     “You’re awful.” Rey laughed. “So, would you like to come?” She asked them again.

     “Hell yes I’m coming,” Rose said. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

     “Watching you blush all night like that is sure to be fun for me,” Jyn teased. “count me in too.”

     The rest of the evening consisted of the two women grilling Rey for all the details she was willing to part with concerning the last week of her life. She gave them everything she could say without blushing, and kept the rest for herself. They left a couple of hours later, chattering excitedly about the next day. 

     When Rey laid down for bed that night,    she sent Kylo a quick text, telling him everything was set and that she was excited to see him tomorrow. It was only moments later when she felt the tell tale buzz that signaled his response.

      **Kylo: Me too. You have no idea how much.**

     She smiled to herself and told him goodnight, rolling over and forcing herself to quell her excitement, allowing sleep to overtake her.

*

     The next morning went by in a whirlwind, as Rey prepared herself for the evening to come. She packed a small overnight bag, with just the essentials and some spare clothes for the next day. She had a late lunch with Rose and Jyn at the deli across the street, checking in on Chewie while they ate.

     After lunch, they came back to Rey’s apartment to hang out while they waited for Kylo’s assistant to arrive.

     “What are you wearing tonight?” Rose asked.

     Rey blushed. “Well, um, Kylo asked me to wear the same top I wore to the Rose Bowl show.”

     Jyn whooped. “Punk boy has a thing for pink, huh?”

     Realization dawned over Rose’s features. “Oh my God. _Rey_. The pink suspenders! The ones he wore to the Anaheim show. Was that for you?”

     Rey shrugged one shoulder, smiling softly. She was in no way going to tell Rose what color Kylo had said he’d been going for. “Yeah. He sent me a picture beforehand.”

     Rose sighed. “So lucky, I swear. Everyone has been talking about those. You know why he wears them, right?”

     Rey’s brow furrowed. “I do.. I googled it. I wish I hadn’t though. It feels weird learning about him off the internet.”

     “Have you talked about his parents?” Jyn asked.

     “Only briefly.. he doesn’t really seem to like talking about it.” Rey replied.

     “A punk rock sex God with a dark past.. It’s like someone picked him out of a wet dream catalogue.” Rose gushed.

     Rey giggled. “You can say that again.”

     Glancing at the clock, Rey noticed it was almost time for Cassian to pick them up. She went to change into her outfit, Rose and Rey following to do the same. They’d brought their clothes with them, and the three quickly changed and made final touch ups to their makeup. 

     A knock sounded at her door only shortly after, she assumed it was Kylo’s assistant. She rose to open it, and standing on her porch was a man of average height, his tawny complexion standing out against his crisp black button down. He had on mirrored sunglasses, and his dark brown hair was combed neatly to the side. 

    “Cassian?” She asked.

    “That’s me.” He replied somewhat gruffly. “Are you and your friends ready to go?”

     She detected a slight hint of an accent, indicating that English was not his first language. “Yes,” she offered. “We’re ready. Thank you so much for coming all this way to pick us up.”

     “Wasn’t offered much of a choice, but you’re welcome.” He grumbled.

     He moved past her to grab their bags, taking Rey’s and then Rose’s. When he moved to take Jyn’s from her, she held it back. 

     “That’s okay, Sour Patch. I’ve got it.” She said, smiling.

     Cassian frowned at her, eyeing the bright red piercing through her brow, and then briefly studying the deep charcoal lining her eyes, making her green eyes stand out even more than usual. Instead of responding, he only made a hmph sound and then turned to take the other two girl’s bags down to the car. 

     “He’s sort of.. grumpy.” Rose offered.

     “Kind of cute though.” Jyn mused. “I don’t normally like guys with a beard.”

     “Kylo sort of mentioned this his assistant is sort of mercurial..” Rey told them. “But he did drive all the way here. Play nice.” That last bit she said with a pointed look at Rose.

     Rose threw up her hands defensively. “Who, me?”

     Rey shook her head and the three of them filed out of her apartment, Rey locking the door behind them. They made their way down the steps and out to the sidewalk where a sleek, black Mercedes was waiting. Cassian was standing by the trunk, waiting for Jyn to throw her bag in. With his sunglasses on his eyes couldn’t be seen, but his mouth was turned down just enough to be called frowning.

     Jyn sauntered up next to him, throwing her bag inside and giving him a Cheshire like grin. “Thanks, Sour Patch.”

     His mouth turned down a fraction more as he muttered, “ _No me pagan lo suficiente para esto_.”  He slammed the trunk shut and walked around to the driver’s side door to climb in. 

     The three women climbed into the car and settled into the back seat. Rose asked Cassian if he had a radio up there, to which he simply responded by flicking an irritated glance at her through his rear view mirror.

     “Guess that’s a no. What’s up your ass anyway?” Rose shot at him.

     “Theres a radio in the back. Check the console between the seats.” He griped, pushing a button that raised a dark, opaque partition, shutting himself off from them.

     Jyn laughed. “So sour.”

     “He’s an asshole is what he is.” Rose grumbled. 

     “He was forced to drive almost six hours today just to come get us and bring us back.” Rey offered.

     “That’s his _job_ , Rey. You’re too nice.” Rose sighed.

     Rey shrugged, not willing to let Cassian’s attitude dampen her mood. In a few hours she would see Kylo again, and she was practically thrumming with excitement. 

     The next couple of hours were spent chatting away about the upcoming concert, and the drive passed in what seemed like no time at all. Cassian did not lower the partition until the car came to a stop outside the venue. A bright sign was lit up outside reading, “VALLEY VIEW CASINO CENTER”. 

     Cassian got out of the car and came around to open the door so that they could step out. “This way. Leave your bags, I’ll carry them to the hotel.” 

     They followed behind him as he led them through the front doors, flashing a badge at the attendant. He led them through the mostly empty area towards a locked door off the main entry. Leading them down a long hallway, they came to a door marked with only a red star, and he knocked on it twice.

     The door opened to the impossibly tall woman who Rey recognized as the bands drummer. “Cassian! Hello there, what have you brought me?”

     Never having heard her speak before, Rey was surprised by her lilting English accent. Phasma’s short blond hair was styled in an artfully careless way, as if she’d put product on her hands and ran her fingers through it. Her black tank hugged her body tightly, adorned with a bright British flag. 

     Cassian didn’t answer her, merely stepping aside and motioning for the women to go inside. They went, stepping past Phasma and standing awkwardly against the wall. No one else was currently in the small lounge they’d entered. Phasma grinned widely at them as Cassian shut the door and disappeared.

     “Don’t mind him, loves. He’s a right tosser, but he’s not so bad when you get to know him.” She offered kindly. “Now, which ones Rey?”

     Rey shyly pointed to herself. “That’s me.”

     Phasma clapped, then reached across the space to pull Rey’s tiny form flush against her for a hug. “Should have guessed by the top I suppose. You’re absolutely stunning.” Okay, so Phasma was _friendly_ , Rey noted.

     “Thank you.” She replied, confused by her comment on her shirt. Surely Kylo didn’t talk about that freely did he? She blushed at the thought.

     Noticing her embarrassment, Phasma grinned. “You’re adorable. Who are your friends?”

     Rey turned to her friends, “This is Rose, and this is Jyn.”

     “Nice to meet you ladies. The boys are in the back eating, I know you didn’t come all this way to see me.” She winked. 

     “I can’t speak for them, but _I’m_ pretty stoked to meet you. You’re brilliant.” Jyn gushed.

     Phasma gave a mock curtsy. “Oh, I quite like you.” 

     Phasma led them through another door, down a separate hallway to another lounge type area. The rest of the band were sitting around with takeout trays, chatting. 

     His presence in the room hit her with so much force it was if the wind were knocked out of her. His head snapped around, eyes meeting hers as he rose from the couch he was sitting on and immediately gravitated towards her. He looked utterly sinful in his ripped, black jeans, adorned with oddly placed zippers and straps dangling between the legs. A short sleeved plum colored button down was stretched across his broad chest, the buttons undone almost halfway, revealing much of the skin underneath. He was still wearing the rose colored suspenders he’d bought, a sight that instantly had her pulse quickening.

     He stalked towards her like a predator, not saying a word before scooping her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. He dove in for a toe curling kiss, thrusting a hand into her hair to turn her head for better access to her mouth. Rey lost herself in him, the full weight of her eagerness to see him settling over her. 

     She heard a slight cough behind him, bringing her back to reality and reminding her they weren’t alone here. She broke their embrace, blushing wildly. He smiled at her, not yet releasing her. 

     “Hey.” He said quietly.

     “Hey.” She grinned back at him.

     “ _Hey_.” She heard Rose press from behind him. 

     She quickly hopped down, flushed. The copper haired bassist was laughing outright, whispering something to Phasma. The keyboardist was smiling to himself, continuing to eat. 

     Rose walked over to them, sizing Kylo up. “Listen,” she said. “You may be the coolest thing since cellphones but if you hurt this girl I’ll rip your dick off and feed it to a dog.”

     Kylo cocked an eyebrow at her, looking more amused than anything. Rose huffed loudly and then continued. “Now, that’s out of the way, can I have your autograph?”

     Kylo laughed and told her that would be just fine, and Rose flipped over her Knights of Ren phone case she’d ordered to let him sign it with a permanent marker he pulled from his pocket. Eyeing him, Rey gave him a curious look.

     “I’ve learned to always keep one handy.” He grinned.

     Rose took her case back and thanked him. Jyn walked up next, sticking out her hand for him to shake. She flashed a smile and said, “Hey man, nice to meet you. I’m Jyn. I hear you’re a fan of my work.”

     Kylo gave her a confused look. “Your work?”

     Rey immediately cut her off. “ _Jyn_.” She sputtered. To Kylo she said, “Nothing, she’s just being silly.”

     He smiled and gave her a look that said he’d be bringing this back up later. Kylo took the three of them and formally introduced them to the rest of the band, who all gave a polite greeting. Kylo then excused the two of them, and pulled Rey by the hand out of the room. He’d no sooner gotten her into the hallway and closed the door before pulling her against him, crushing her face into his chest. She breathed in the scent of him, some sensual cologne she didn’t recognize.

     “Fuck, I’m so glad you’re here.” He told her, resting his head on top of hers.

     “Me too.” She said softly back.

     “How was the drive?” He asked against her hair.

     “Easy. Cassian shut the privacy screen the whole time. I don’t think he likes us.” She laughed.

     “Cassian barely likes anyone.” He snickered. “He’s really good at his job though.”

     “It’s fine,” Rey replied. “It was worth it to get to see you.”

     “Yeah?” He asked, pushing her back to look at her.

     “Mhm.” She murmured, her eyes on his plush, wide mouth.

     He leaned in to kiss her again, but they were interrupted by the hall door swinging open. The bassist, Hux, peeked around the door, looking for Kylo.

     “Hey man, Cassian called, we have sound check in ten.” He told him. To Rey he added, “Sorry sweetheart. Have to steal  Romeo here for a bit.”

     She grinned sheepishly, waving him off. “That’s okay.”

     Kylo grunted and rolled his eyes. Hux blew a kiss his way before closing the door and disappearing back into the room.

     “Duty calls.” Kylo sighed. “I have a place set up side stage for you and your friends to watch the show. Hang out in the lounge and Cassian will come get you in about a half hour, okay?”

     “Okay.” She replied.

     He pressed a quick kiss to her mouth and pulled her back inside the room, leaving her with Jyn and Rose before exiting with the other band members. Jyn and Rose were chatting on one of the couches and she went to sit by them. Her phone went off in her pocket suddenly, and she pulled it out to find Kylo had already sent her a text.

      **Kylo: Forgot to tell you, be watching for the Encore.**

     Rey eyed her phone curiously. What did that mean?

      **Rey: Why?**

**Kylo: Oh.. it’s a surprise. I think you’re going to like it.**

**Rey: Are you being bad again?**

**Kylo: Baby, you have no idea. ;)**

     Rey smiled, slipping her phone back into her pocket and falling into conversation with her friends. She was now doubly more excited about the show than she had been before. She had no idea what Kylo was up to, but she couldn’t wait to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh. So close. ;)
> 
> Also, I know Cassian speaking Spanish is extra, but I adore Diego Luna and one of my best friends is from Mexico so of course I had to utilize my resources. *shrugs*
> 
> Also, also, in case anyone cares, this is the passenger car Cassian picks them up in. Because, drool.   
> [Mercedes-Maybach S 560](https://www.mercedes-benz.com/en/mercedes-benz/iaa-2017/vehicles-iaa-2017/mercedes-maybach-s-560-4matic/)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Pink, it’s my new obsession.”  
> <3

     Cassian strode into the room almost exactly a half hour later, as if he didn’t want to have to interact with them until it was absolutely necessary. He jerked his head towards the door, signaling them to follow. Rose made a rude impression of him walking stiffly behind his back, to which Jyn giggled. Rey rolled her eyes, shushing them.

     “You’ll be sitting side stage. You’ll be able to see the band but will still be hidden from the crowd. Please don’t wander from the area until after the show, I’ll come to get you then.” He told them stiffly.

     “You don’t want to stay and hang out, Sour Patch?” Jyn teased.

     He gave her an irritated look, his chocolate eyes narrowed and unobstructed now that he was no longer wearing his sunglasses. “ _Que bien chingas_.” He muttered.

     He walked further ahead, and Jyn just smiled after him. “Why do you keep calling him that?” Rey whispered.

     Jyn shrugs. “He reminds me of the candy. He’s really sour at first, but I bet he’d be sweet if I could sink my teeth into him.”

     Rose laughs. “You always love a challenge.”

     They followed Cassian down a long corridor and out into the backstage area. There were chairs set up side stage, and a large flat screen hung on the wall to the left of the stage, allowing a front view of the show as well. The curtains were still drawn, but Kylo and the rest of the band were walking around the stage doing last minute checks. Rey could hear the excited hum of the crowd gathered out front, anxious for the show to start.

     Kylo turned and caught a glimpse of her, grinning widely before jogging over. He immediately smacked a loud kiss on her, visibility amped about the impending show. “You ready?” He asked her.

     “So ready.” She replied with a grin.

     Hux whistled at him, signaling him to hurry up, and Kylo flipped him off in response. “Gotta go,” he told her. “See you after?”

     “I can’t wait.” She said, eyes wide.

     “Mm. Me either.” He smiled wickedly before giving her a sudden smack on the ass, to which she yelped. She furrowed her brow at him, causing him to laugh before jogging back over to center stage. Jyn have her a thumbs up, while Rose just smiled and shook her head.

     Kylo checked the output in his amp one last time before nodding to Mitaka. Mitaka nodded back and then gave a thumbs up to someone in the rafters above stage before turning his attention to his keyboard. The curtains slowly began to rise, causing the crowd to erupt in deafening cheers. When Mitaka began to play the first notes of the opening song, the crowd hushed to listen, completely enraptured.

     Rey found herself leaning forward in her seat, again under the spell of their music. The song built up into its intro, and when Kylo began to sing, Rey couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He closed his eyes while he sang, his jaw tense with emotion from the lyrics. She found herself wanting to run her tongue across the skin there. Where did that thought come from? His voice was doing things to her.

     When the song came to a close with, “ _Don’t be afraid, I feel it too_.”, Kylo turned his head in their direction side stage and winked at her. Rey smiled sheepishly as she felt her skin flush. Rose was nudging her obnoxiously while Jyn whooped.

     The rest of the concert was much the same, with Kylo interacting with Rey unbeknownst to the crowd whenever he found a particular lyric appropriate to do so. By the end, Rey was a blushing mess, her chest feeling like it would burst from giddiness. When Kylo began to address the crowd, thanking them for coming out and then saying they were going to do something a little different tonight, Rey perked up, listening intently.

     “Now I know we don’t normally do covers,” Kylo boomed through the microphone. “but there’s a special someone here tonight who’s got me all kinds up fucked up and I couldn’t resist. Hopefully she digs it.”

     The crowd went crazy with muttered confusion and excitement, not knowing what was going on.

     Phasma began to tap out a beat as Kylo pulled something from his pocket. Suddenly, he pressed it to his mouth and the sounds a harmonica began blaring through the P.A. system as what Rey recognized as [Aerosmith’s “Pink”](https://youtu.be/ZfbBqBOSXlU). Her mouth fell open as he stopped playing suddenly to sing, _“Pink, it’s my new obsession. Pink, it’s not even a question. Pink, on the lips of your lover. ‘Cause Pink, is the love you discover.”_

     Rose was going absolutely insane beside Rey, shaking her by the shoulders while Rey was rooted to the spot, unable to look away. Kylo glanced at her several times during the song, gauging her reaction. She could only stare back at him, eyes wide and grinning maniacally. She tried not to let her heart run away with itself when he sang the chorus, _“Pink, it was love at first sight. Pink, when I turn out the light. Pink, it’s like red but not quite.”_

     By the time the song reached its end with, _“And I think everything is going to be alright, no matter what we do tonight.”_ Kylo was turned looking straight at her, smiling widely. It took everything she had not to run across the stage and leap into his arms. He held her gaze for a few long moments before turning back to the crowd and shouting, “Thank you everyone for coming out!”

     The curtains came down, once again shrouding the stage, and Rey could no longer contain herself. She ran at full speed towards Kylo, leaping up into his waiting arms and wrapping her legs around him. She dove for his mouth, thrusting her hands into his thick mop of hair, entangling her fingers. She kissed him like she would die if she didn’t, so wound up with excitement and emotion from the gesture he’d just given. She pulled him tightly to her, causing him to groan.

     When they finally broke apart, Kylo smiled and said, “So I take it you liked it?”

     She laughed giddily. “Kylo, that was.. amazing. I can’t believe you did that.”

     He grinned wider. “That damn song has been in my head since that first night. I have a problem I think.”

     “Oh, but I’m so glad you do.” She giggled.

     Hux came up beside them, clapping Kylo in the back. “Hey kids, hate to break up the softcore porn, because you know how much I’m into that, but we still have a meet and greet to get through.”

     Kylo groaned. “Fuck. I forgot.” He gave Rey an apologetic look. “It shouldn’t take more than an hour? Cassian can drive you back to the Rancho Valencia, I have rooms there for us and your friends. They can hang at the bar, or the spa. You wait for me in our room.” There was no question in that last bit, he was making a command.

     She couldn’t even find herself wanting to argue, she only nodded back at him. He gave her one last quick kiss and then let her slide down him until her feet touched the floor. He swatted her ass again as she walked away, causing her to give him an irritated look to which he just laughed. She jogged back to her friends, who were standing side stage with Cassian. Cassian was talking, or well, more like he was being talked at by Jyn. Rey couldn’t read his expression, but he didn’t look nearly as irritated as before.

     When she approached, Rose was practically bouncing on her heels with excitement, her inky curls flouncing around her face with the movement. “Rey!” She practically screamed with excitement. “That was the most amazing thing that’s ever happened! I can’t even right now. Boy has it bad.”

     Rey giggled. “I can’t believe he did that.”

     “I can,” Jyn cut in, turning away from Cassian. “It’s pretty easy to tell that dude is sprung. It’s probably my work. You’re welcome.”

     Rey rolled her eyes as Rose started laughing. Cassian grunted in disapproval before interrupting. “Come on, let’s get out of here before the crowds get crazy. I’ll drive you to the resort.”

     He turned on his heel allowing for no argument and they quickly followed. He led them to the rear entrance of the venue, where the Mercedes was parked. They climbed in, and spent the next half hour gushing about Kylo’s song dedication and teasing Rey about her “big night”. She refused to be embarrassed, and merely waved them off, causing them to groan. Rose assured her she would be getting the details out of her later.

     When they pulled up to the Rancho Valencia Resort and Spa, all three of them found themselves a little star struck at how immaculate the place was. Cassian took them inside, rolling his eyes at their wide eyed gushing, and checked them into the front desk. He handed them their room keys, and pointed out where the amenities were located. Jyn and Rose wanted to check out the bar, and asked Rey if she was coming. She told them Kylo had told her to wait for him in the room, which earned her whoops and wiggled eyebrows. She blushed and bid them goodnight, turning towards the elevators.

     Rey heard Jyn inviting Cassian for a drink, to which he refused, but she pressed. Standing by the elevators waiting for it to come down, Rey watched her give him a cool look. 

     “Come on, Sour Patch, one drink won’t hurt. Take the stick out for a night. You might like it.” She teased. 

     He frowned at her, chewing on the inside of his lip. “Are you always so persistent?”

     She shrugged. “Only when I want something.” 

     His expression didn’t change, but Rey swore she saw his mouth twitch. He gave her a curt nod and extended his arm in an, “After you.” motion. Rey watched them head off towards the bar. As the elevator doors opened Rey was thinking to herself how she wished she could be as confident as Jyn. 

    She rode the elevator to her floor, growing increasingly more nervous. Kylo would be here anytime, and she knew what would happen. He was sure to be so experienced and she didn’t know what to do with a man like that. What if she couldn’t satisfy him? What if she made a fool of herself? She shook her head, waving away her self doubt and telling herself to be that brave girl. She was in there. 

    She stepped off the elevator when it dinged and made her way down the hall. Locating their room number, she used the key the front desk had given her and let herself inside. She was amazed at the the amount of space in the “room”, if you could call it that. It was like walking into a small villa. White stone walls led up to arched pier and beam ceilings, and bled down into sleek light oak floors. There was a massive kitchen to her left, with dark cabinets and matching furniture. A living space occupied her current location, with crisp white furniture and a sliding door that led out onto a walled-in patio balcony where she could see a large outdoor fireplace surrounded by comfortable seating. 

     Rey wandered in the opposite direction, finding the door to the bedroom. The door opened to a small stone alcove that she had to pass through to reach the curved room that wrapped all the way around. An enormous bed rested in the center, with a cherry wood headboard and stark white bedding. A chaise lounge rested by the window, and the room opened up into the adjoining bathroom. She idled towards it, awed at the marble tiles and the massive whirlpool tub in the center of the room. A wide, glass wall shower rested against it, large enough to fit at least five people. 

     She found her overnight bag on the bathroom counter, she guessed Cassian had sent it up earlier. Opening it up to find her toiletries, she was surprised to find a small package resting on top. She had no idea how it got there, but her curiosity was piqued. She tore into it, and a scrap of  blush lace slid out. A note was pinned to it, and Rey picked it up to read.

      _“Rey, just a little gift from your girl. I know it’s your favorite color! You can thank me later. Don’t be shy! You have a rock star chasing you, OWN it! Love, Rose.”_

     Rey picked up the fabric and held it out in front of her. A fitted, lace teddy with a see through sheer material for the attached bra. There was a matching thong with it, and Rey turned scarlet at the thought of wearing it. Rose was either an angel or the devil himself. She couldn’t decide. Rey guessed that Rose would be enjoying this little scheme even more so after Kylo’s dedication at the concert. She must have slipped this into Rey’s bag while she was changing clothes before they’d left.

     Rey laid the outfit on the counter, tousling her waves into a look she would call seductive as she debated wearing it. She applied just a hint of lip gloss, still staring at it. Deciding there was no harm in just trying it on, she slipped out of her concert clothes and pulled the slinky material over her curves, then slipped on the matching underwear. 

     Examining herself in the mirror, she found that while she was slightly embarrassed, she had to admit she looked, well, _good_. The lace clung to her body in a flattering way, accentuating her tiny waist. The sheer material was a problem, because Rey could definitely see her nipples and she felt incredibly exposed. She wasn’t sure if she could pull this off. 

     She was still debating when she suddenly heard the door to the suite slam, followed by Kylo’s voice sounding out through the space. “Rey?”

     Rey absolutely panicked, not knowing what to do. He’d find her at any moment, and even if she took this off he’d find her naked and that was just worse. In a moment of hysteria, she jumped into the attached closet of the bathroom. She immediately regret the decision, because now not only would he find her in this ridiculous outfit but she’d look like a crazy person. 

     She heard the bedroom door open as he called for her again. She couldn’t just ignore him. “In here.” She squeaked.

     His footsteps echoed across the bathroom tile. “Where are you?” He asked.

     Embarrassed beyond belief, she repeated, “In here.”

     He wrenched open the closet door, finding her sitting at the bottom attempting to cover herself. His eyes went wide at the sight, taking on an almost predatory look. “What are you doing?” He said lowly. 

     “Rose put this in my bag and it’s obviously ridiculous and I knew I couldn’t pull it off. I just wanted to try it on but then you barged in and I didn’t have time to change back into my other clothes and I didn’t want you to just find me naked and I just panicked. I jumped in here.” She sputtered.

     He swallowed hard. “It’s.. it’s definitely not ridiculous. Can I.. can I see it? Stand up.” 

     She put her face in her hands. “I don’t think I can.”

     “Let me help you.” He growled. He scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder, causing her to squeal. He silenced her by landing a smack on her ass, letting his hand linger over the lacy material. He carried her out of the bathroom and to the large bed in their room, throwing her on the center of it. She landed in a sprawl, the light from the bedside lamp spilling over her, hiding nothing. 

     Kylo’s eyes raked over her, hungry and feral. His breathing was ragged and a low rumble was firing in his chest. Rey felt herself warm under his gaze, wishing he would say something to break the tension she was feeling. 

     Granting her wish, he said, “Remind me to send Rose a thank you card.”

     Rey giggled, relaxing. “So, you like it?”

     “I don’t think they have a word for how I feel about it.” He approved. 

     He used a knee to dip down on the bed, crawling up and over her and pinning her to the mattress. “You got here fast.” She told him. 

     “I ducked out as fast as I could. Just knowing you were here waiting for me made it impossible to focus on anything else.” He replied. 

     “I’m kind of nervous.” She admitted.

     “Fuck, Rey, _I’m_ kind of nervous. I want to make this perfect but all I can think about is ripping this shit off of you and burying myself inside you.” He groaned.

     “I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you can do that I won’t think is perfect.” She said softly.

     He let out a deep breath before lowering himself onto her, pressing her mouth to his. Rey thought she could live like this, just enjoying the softness of his mouth. His tongue darted out to press against the seam of her mouth, and she immediately opened to allow him access. While his tongue worked some sort of magic in her mouth, she felt his hand press to her side and slide down the length of her, enjoying the feel of the lace. 

     With her current outfit, Kylo’s suspenders were rubbing her nipples through the sheer fabric of the teddy, and she found herself squirming beneath him. He broke their kiss, noticing her behavior. “Are you okay?” 

     “Your suspenders, they’re ah, they’re rubbing me.” She said breathlessly.

     He looked between them at her exposed nipples, then grinned wickedly before moving his chest in a way that repeated the action. “Like that?”

     Rey groaned. “Ahh. You’re terrible.”

     “Mm, baby just you wait.” He purred. “I have an idea.” 

     He leaned up, hooking his thumbs under the straps and pulling them off his shoulders, an action that caused Rey to whimper despite herself. He smiled devilishly at her reaction and continued to unhook them from his pants. When they were off, he held them in his hands and asked her, “Do you trust me?”

     She nodded back at him, anxious to see what he was up to. He took her wrists and held them over her head, using the suspenders to bind them to the headboard. She tugged at them curiously, giving him a nervous look. His expression at seeing her trussed up was animalistic and barely restrained. 

     “Fuck me,” he rasped. “you’re a fucking vision.” 

     Her chest heaved with anticipation as Kylo let his hands skirt up her thighs, bunching up the lacy material around her hips. He tugged at the edge of the matching underwear, looking at her for approval before continuing. She nodded sheepishly and he roughly tugged them off, groaning at the sight of her bare pussy. 

     “I’ve been dreaming about this since I left you.” He grated. Breathless, he ran one of his large hands up her inner thigh as he continued to speak lowly. “Did you know I can’t even _look_  at the fucking color pink without getting half hard?” He asked her.

     She shook her head and he continued, spreading her legs and running a finger up her slit, teasing her and causing her to pant. “Every time I see it I think about your perfect nipples, or this wet dream of a pussy that’s been haunting me for a week. It’s torture, Rey, and I never want it to stop.”

     He eased two of his long, thick fingers inside her, stretching her and causing her to moan. “That’s my girl. You’re already so fucking wet for me. It drives me insane.”

     She was writhing under his touch, pulling at her restrained wrists, eager to touch him. “ _Kylo_.” She mewled.

     “Tell me no one has ever made you this wet before, Rey.” He demanded. 

     She groaned his name, unsure that she could comply.

     “ _Say it_.” He commanded.

     “No one has ever made me this wet before, Kylo. Just you.” She breathed between gasps.

     “Good girl.” He praised, dropping below and lapping his wide tongue up the length of her slit. He wasted no time in fucking her mercilessly with his tongue, assaulting her opening and dragging it upwards before pulling her clit between his lips. He sucked on the tight bundle of nerves, simultaneously darting his tongue out to tap it repeatedly like a button. The sensation had Rey bowing off the bed, but Kylo placed a larger hand over the space between her hip bones, holding her down and applying pressure to the top of her mound. 

     When he used his free hand to add two fingers inside her, Rey felt her orgasm creeping up on her. All at once Kylo presser harder on her pelvis, while simultaneously grinding his fingers into her. When he let out a hum against her clit, the vibration was enough to break her. She shook as she came, clenching her thighs tightly and trapping Kylo’s head. He had removed his hand and was lapping at her entrance, drinking in her orgasm as his nose pressed to her clit, causing tiny aftershocks. 

     When he finally pulled away, he ran a hand down his face, wiping it clean of her fluids and then licking his palm slowly. The action was so dirty and erotic it had Rey gasping. She pulled at the suspenders once more, begging him to release her so she could touch him.

     “You did so good, Rey. You deserve a reward.” He purred. 

     “Didn’t you just give me one?” She asked softly.

     “Mm, I have so much more in mind.” He promised. 

     He released her hands, and she pulled them to her chest to rub the indentations the suspenders had made. Kylo took them and kissed the marks, whispering that he was sorry for being rough. She shook her head and told him that he had nothing to be sorry for. 

     “I liked it.” She whispered. 

     “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” He crooned.

     “Take your shirt off.” She demanded suddenly. “I want to see you.”

     “How about _you_  take it off.” He countered. 

     With shaking fingers, she raised up on her knees and slowly undid the button of his plum shirt. She was unable to resist pressing a kiss to his chest, the hard, smooth skin too delicious looking not to taste. He moaned against the feel of her tongue on his skin, and spurred by his reaction, she continued to mark a path of hot kisses across his chest as she pushed the shirt over his shoulders. 

     When it was off, she let her hands glide lower to the button of his jeans, toying with it. He pressed his hips forward, urging her to continue. She popped the button of his jeans open as she took one of his nipples into her mouth, swirling her tongue over it. Kylo practically growled at her boldness, letting his head fall back in appreciation. 

     Rey slowly tugged the zipper of his jeans down, immediately met with a dark patch of hair, signaling that Kylo wasn’t wearing underwear. Rey looked down between them, and the sight of his open fly revealing the base of his cock peeking out of his pubic hair had her clenching her thighs together to stop liquid arousal from seeping down her legs. 

     “Fuck, Rey, touch me. _Please_.” He begged her through gritted teeth, his eyes flashing to hers.

     She pushed his jeans down and over his hips, his cock springing forward from the confinement of his pants. Rey’s mouth fell open at the sight of it, he was just so _big_. The head of his cock was an angry red and already leaking precum. Rey was overcome with a desire to taste him, something she’d never done before. She leaned towards him, swiping her tongue across the thick head, tasting the salty beads there. 

     Kylo jerked at the contact, letting air hiss  between his teeth and fisting his hands at his sides. He didn’t stop her, just stared down at her with wide eyes. She took her hand and wrapped it around the base of him, her fingers not able to touch he was so wide. Holding him firmly, she ran her tongue up the length of the velvet skin underneath, swirling it around the head as she reached it. 

     When she took him in her mouth, Kylo let out a strained, “ _Fuuuuuck_.” Rey tried to push her mouth down over him, but she was too inexperienced and he was just too damn big. She tried relaxing her throat muscles but when she tried to take him deeper she ended up gagging, coming up sputtering and embarrassed. 

     He pulled her up to him and kissed her, not caring that she’d just had his cock in her mouth. He sensed her embarrassment and shushed her, saying, “Baby that was incredible, I don’t think you know what it does to me that you couldn’t take all of me.”

     “It was my first time...” she replied sheepishly. 

     He groaned. “ _Fuck_ , you’re sweet.”

     Kylo gently laid her down on her back, kicking off his boots and pants and grabbing a condom out of the pocket before he tossed them aside. Now completely naked, Rey couldn’t help but run a hand down the hard muscles of his abdomen and over his hips, ending at the firmness of his ass. He closed his eyes and thrust involuntarily, and the head of his cock pressing into her clit, causing her to gasp. He shuddered at the contact, then reared back to tear open the condom with his teeth. He slowly pushed the latex over the head and down the length of him, completely sheathing himself. 

     When she went to pull at the teddy she was still wearing, he stopped her. “I want to fuck you in this. At least the first time.” He ground out.

     Her heart, already racing, began to pound furiously in her ears. Kylo slid a hand between them, gripping her thigh and wrapping it around his waist, causing her legs to part. He then wound that same hand into her hair, turning her face to his and forcing her to look him in the eyes. 

     Watching her the entire time, he slowly pressed into her, stretching her to the point of almost pain. He continued to press forward, filling her up until she felt him bottom out, buried inside her to the hilt. She sucked in a shaky breath, squeezing her eyes shut against the overwhelming fullness.

     “Are you okay?” He whispered breathlessly.

     She nodded. “I’m fine. You’re just so _big_.”

     She felt him twitch inside her, reacting to her words. “Fuck, Rey. You feel _so_ damn good. I need to move.”

     “Move, Kylo. I need you.” She mewled.

     Needing no further permission, he slowly pulled out of her, reveling in the slide of his cock against her inner walls. When he was almost completely out, he took a deep breath before slamming back into her, causing her to cry out. He repeated the action, the slow drag followed by the forceful slam. Rey had never felt more full in her entire life. 

     Kylo propped a hand on the bed, raising up so that he could watch himself disappear into her over and over again, speeding up the pace. His eyes snapped back to hers, and he roughly whispered, “Touch yourself.”

     Unable to do anything but obey, Rey slid a hand between them, pressing deeply into her clit and rubbing rough circles while Kylo watched with wide eyes, muttering encouragements. “ _That’s it_.”, “ _Harder_.”, “ _Fuck, Rey_.”

     She came first, quivering with her orgasm as her inner walls squeezed his cock like a vice. He groaned, sliding out of her and flipping her over to her stomach while she was still shaking with the aftermath of her orgasm. He pulled her hips upwards, propping her on her knees before sinking back into her. 

     The new position allowed  him to go deeper, and she swore she could feel him hitting her womb. She bit down into the comforter as he pounded into her, gripping her hips roughly. She felt the pressure of another impending orgasm creeping up on her, and she gasped to Kylo that she was close. He leaned over her, bringing a hand around to fondle at her clit as he continued to slam into her. 

     As she felt herself began to shake from another orgasm, she felt Kylo slide into her once more and hold, his thighs clenching as he came. She felt his cock twitching violently inside her as he filled the condom, her pussy milking him as it spasmed around it. He stayed like that for several moments, bent over her, breathing erratic and dripping sweat. He pressed light kisses to her spine as he finally pulled out of her, the sudden emptiness causing her to gasp. 

     He pulled off the condom, knotting the end and tossing it aside to dispose of later. Pulling Rey into his arms, they fell back against the pillows as he turned out the light, shrouding the room in darkness. Kylo pulled her closer, tucking her into his side and pressing a kiss into her hair. 

     “Give me a couple of hours and we’re doing that again.” He promised.

     Rey giggled, exhausted from all the activity. “I think I might be up for that.”

     “Please tell me that was as in-fucking-credible for you as it was for me.” He sought. 

     “It was probably better.” She breathed.

     “I fucking doubt it. I don’t know how I’m going to ever get anything done now that I know I could be doing _that_.” He huffed.

     Rey laughed softly, feeling sleepy. She yawned widely, covering her mouth with her hand. “You wore me out.” She teased.

     Kylo beat his chest in his best caveman impression and grunted, causing her to laugh harder. “Sleep now, Rey. I have you all day tomorrow, and I plan to make good use of it.” He promised. 

     She nodded into his chest and closed her eyes, feeling more whole than she ever had. She found herself thinking idly that she could get used to this, and thanked her lucky stars for bossy best friends, alcoholic mishaps, and pink daydreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. That was a blushapalooza for me. Hopefully it was worth the LONG wait. I’m laughing gleefully at “long” since we all know I’m the most impatient person in the world and am as eager to give you these as you are (if you even are) to read them! XD
> 
> My amazing moodboard was made by the lovely [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongforjonsa/profile), I knew as soon as I saw it I HAD to use it for this chapter! Thank you so much! (Also, check out her fantastic a/b/o fic, I Seek My Freedom in the Moonlight. <3)
> 
> I can finally give HUGE shoutout to [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gopherbroke/profile), she is responsible for the title to this fic, I was SO stuck, and she sent Pink my way, and I immediately fell in love with it. I loved it so much I worked it into the entire story. <3 I love you! (Check out her ongoing a/b/o, How Little We Know, it’s amazinnnnng. <3)
> 
> If you’d like to explore Rey and Kylo’s hotel room, it’s a real place, and boy would I love to stay there... preferably with Kylo... *drool*  
> [Rancho Valencia Resort and Spa](https://www.ranchovalencia.com/accommodations/suites-villas-san-diego)
> 
> 9-26-18 EDIT:  
> Hey guys still blushing but have lost most of my shame so heres this appropriate (depending on your definition of the word) gif for your viewing pleasure.  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...but what did Kylo think after all that?

     Kylo woke the next morning to the sun peeking through the shades of their suite. Rey was sleeping soundly, still tucked into his side, her soft waves behind her on the pillow like a fan. The covers had bunched around her hips, and he could see her pert little nipples poking at the sheer fabric of her teddy.

     Fuck. When he’d found her at the bottom of that closet in _that_ little number it’d taken everything he had not to take her right there in the floor of the closet. He didn’t know what to expect when he’d raced to their suite after the meet and greet, but it certainly hadn’t been _that_. She just kept surprising him.

     His mind wandered back to the night before, how she’d shyly went about attempting to fuck him with her mouth. Her obvious inexperience with the whole thing almost had him cumming right on the spot. Christ, and when he’d finally eased inside her he almost forgot who the fuck he _was_. He hummed softly at the memory, the noise causing Rey to stir beside him.

     “Mm, hey.” She said sleepily. 

      He grinned down at her. “Hey.” 

      He threw an arm around her and pulled her on top of him so that she was flush against him, kissing her softly. “Good morning.” 

     She squirmed above him. “I need to brush my teeth..” She whined. 

     “Literally couldn’t give a fuck.” He laughed. “Also, you moving like that is not making me want to let you go.”

     She ceased her wriggling, suddenly aware that he was still very naked, and she wasn’t much better off. He felt himself hardening beneath her, his cock resting between her legs and just touching her naked pussy. She shuddered at the contact, whimpering softly when he thrust his hips slightly, causing him to rub against her. 

     “Do you remember why I wanted to wait to do this Rey?” He asked her quietly. 

     “Mm, what?” She asked, distracted by the light thrusts of his hips. 

     “What did I tell you I wanted to be able to do?” He continued.

     “You said.. you said that you.. ahhh.” She couldn’t seem to form coherent thought, his cock sliding easily between her folds, rubbing her center. 

     “I said I wanted to be able to take you again the next morning. Didn’t I?” He pressed, his voice dropping an entire octave.

     “Yesss.  _Kylo_.” She hissed. 

     He  reached over, grabbing a condom from the nightstand, grateful he’d thought to throw a couple there before he’d went to sleep. He knew he’d want to fuck her again the minute they were conscious, he was half certain he’d be spending most of the foreseeable future wanting to fuck her again for that matter. He lifted her up, reaching between them to slide the condom over his considerable length. When he had the condom in place, he wasted no time in lifting her once more, sliding her down over him, and sheathing his cock fully inside her. 

     Rey moaned as he entered, feeling every drag of him as he filled her. When he’d bottomed out, her hips instinctively rocked forward, causing both of them to groan. Unsure of how to proceed, she squirmed restlessly.  

     “Move, Rey.” He growled. “Fuck me how  _you_  like it.”

     “I.. I don’t.. I don’t know how.” She stammered.

     “Just do what feels good.  _Fuck me_.” He demanded.

     She tentatively rocked forward again, the movement causing the base of him to press against her clit. Using her knees, she then pressed into the bed and lifted herself upwards slightly before slamming back down. 

     Kylo’s gaze was glued to the place where they were joined, he loved watching himself slide into her, filling her. He found himself wishing he could feel her without the restriction of a condom, something he hadn’t done since he was eighteen. Just the thought of being with her bare was enough to have his balls drawing up in pleasure. 

     Rey continued to ride him, finding her rhythm. He let her take charge, resisting the urge to roll her over and fuck her into the mattress. He wanted her to be comfortable with him, he wanted her to realize just how fucking _crazy_  she made him. She was so unsure in everything she did, and he wanted to show her that she could be anything she wanted to be with him and he would take every bit of it. 

     Unable to resist touching her anymore, Kylo halted her movements, propping up to pull off the pink number that had driven him wild. He wanted to see all of her this time. When it was over her head and she was naked above him, he encouraged her to move again. 

     She rocked forward again, propelling herself back and forth like some sort of obscene quarter ride outside of a convenient store. 

     “Do you want me to touch you, Rey?” He asked her.

     Her eyes were shut dreamily from the slow fucking she was giving him, but she nodded slowly. 

     “Tell me where you want me to touch you. You know how this goes, Rey.” He urged her. 

     Her eyes slid open, hooded and hazy from lust. “You know where.” She replied breathlessly.

     Kylo shook his head, he wasn’t letting her off that easy. “Ah, baby you’re going to have to be more specific.”

     She groaned above him, grinding herself down into him suddenly, the action causing them both to moan. “ _Kylo_ , I’m so close.”

     “I can help you, Rey. Just say the words.” He ordered.

     “Ahhh, my _clit_  Kylo. Touch my clit. _Please_.” She ground out. 

     He felt his cock swell at hearing the dirty words fall from her pretty mouth. “Good girl.” He praised.  

     He leaned up, taking a thumb and pressing it roughly into her clit, rubbing furiously. She was panting as she rocked into him, right on the edge of coming. He began to thrust into her, hard, deciding she’d done enough of the work on her own. Her ass bounced against his thighs, filling the room with the obscene sounds of flesh meeting flesh. 

     Rey, too caught up in the moment to care, threw her head back in abandon as Kylo pounded into her, all while roughly assaulting her swollen center. Kylo leaned in to taste the skin at the base of Rey’s neck, suckling. When she suddenly gripped her thighs around his hips and ground down onto his cock, Kylo yelped and bit down into the bend of her shoulder in surprise. 

     Needing her to get there, he rubbed at her clit faster, feeling his fingers skate across the base of his cock as it disappeared in and out of her. 

     “ _Come_ , Rey.” He growled through gritted teeth.

     He felt her spasming around his cock, her muscles pulling at him and squeezing him. It was enough to send him into his own climax, and he felt hot cum shoot out of him, filling the condom. He held her tightly to him as their orgasms subsided, both now sweaty and gasping.

     Pulling back, he eyed her shoulder. “That might bruise.. I’m sorry about that.” He told her apologetically 

     She shook her head in response, saying, “Mm.. don’t be. That was.. incredible.”

     Kylo’s heart swelled at how fucking fantastic Rey was. He was feeling things he had no business feeling for a girl he’d just met. 

     “We’re kind of a mess now.” He laughed.

     “Yeah.. I’m so sweaty.” She said, wrinkling her nose.

     “Think maybe we should make use of that huge ass tub in there?” He asked her. 

     She grinned wickedly back at him. “I don’t know... will we get any actual cleaning done?”

     He grinned back at her, loving the way her mind worked. “Oh baby, no promises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you didn’t have anything important to do this morning. *shrugs* The minis are meant to be directly uploaded after the previous chapter but I’m running out of breathing room here. XD


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! I can’t just let you go into the weekend without one more chapter. I’ll be taking the weekend off, hopefully catching up on some reading of my own. :P I’ll see you all Monday more than likely! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Moodboard gifted to me by the wonderful [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae)! <3

     

* * *

 

     Kylo rolled out from under Rey, giving her a loud smack of a kiss before sliding off the the side of the bed and heading for the bathroom. He didn’t bother to cover himself as he went, and in the bright morning sunlight there was no part of him left uncovered for Rey to ogle. She noticed he had a large tattoo in the center of his back that accompanied all of the artwork on his arms, a cog like symbol that had bright red anemones stemming out around it.

     Her eyes traveled down the taut muscles of his back as they connected to an ass that no man had any right to have. Rey found herself thinking that it may even be nicer than hers. A thought that made her smile. He shuffled into the bathroom lazily, and she heard him raise the toilet seat before going about emptying his bladder. Rey took the moment to gather the sheets and properly tuck them around her to make a sort of modest covering. Without the sex induced haze in full effect, she found that she still wasn’t brave enough to just sit around naked.

     She heard the toilet flush, and then moments later the taps turn and the sounds of rushing water as it hit the bottom of the large tub. He poked his head out of the bathroom door, eyeing her sheet toga amusedly.

     “I’m just going to strip you again.” He teased.

     She sighed. “I can’t help it.”

     He laughed, shaking his head. He strode out of the bathroom, stalking towards her with purpose. Grabbing a handful of the sheet, he yanked as hard as he could. Being that he was at least twice her size and as far as she could tell was composed almost entirely of muscle, he tore the sheets from her fairly easily. She was forcibly rolled out of her meager coverings, left squealing in the center of the bed, naked once more.

     “Kylo!” She yelped.

     He merely laughed at her exasperation. “Come on, bath time.”

     He stood at the edge of the bed, one hand cocked on his hip while the other gestured towards the bathroom. An easy smile on his face, she could tell he wasn’t going to let her off easy. She huffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms tightly over her chest, trying to save even an ounce of her dignity. She slid off the edge of the bed, stomping off towards the bathroom. 

     Kylo waited about three seconds after she walked by before swatting her ass, causing her to yelp and drop her arms to reach for her backside. “I swear to God..” she groused. 

     “You’d better hurry into that bathroom if you don’t want another one.” He replied evilly. 

     She scurried off towards the bathroom, sure that he meant what he said. The tub was nearly full, and she climbed in and scooted over to a corner, pulling her knees up to her chest. He strutted in after her, leisurely turning off the taps before sliding in next to her. 

     Noticing her cowering in the corner like a baby deer, he clicked his tongue. “Oh no you don’t. You’re not getting shy on me now.” He snaked one of his large arms around her waist and pulled her between his legs, settling her against his chest. “There, that’s better isn’t it?”

     She sighed, admittedly enjoying the closeness. Kylo had no problems with intimacy, she wished she could be as- 

     “Oh God.” She gasped.

     “What is it?” He asked curiously.

     “I just realized..” She groaned. “I’ve meant to ask you sooner, but with.. well.. _everything_ , I completely forgot. This is so embarrassing.” She shook her head, bringing her hands over her eyes.

     “Rey,” he chuckled. “Just ask me.”

     “Kylo, um.. _what is your real name_?” Her face had to be bright red by now. “God that sounds terrible doesn’t it? Everything we’ve done and here I am having never even asked you. You must think I’m a total slut! I can’t believe I-”

     He silenced her by gently putting a hand over her mouth, now shaking with laughter. “Rey, hush. You’re being ridiculous.”

     “But.. I..” she stammered.

     “Rey.. Kylo is my name.” He snickered. “I had it legally changed when I was eighteen.”

     “Oh..” she said, confused. “but Rose said it was a stage name..”

     “Well, I mean I guess it is, but for a lot of reasons I just wanted to leave my old life behind me. I changed it after my Dad died and literally no one hardly ever calls me by my old name. Except Hux.. sometimes.” He shrugged. “Old habits.”

     “Hmm.” She pondered. His tone indicated that he didn’t really want to talk about it. 

     They sat in somewhat comfortable silence for a short while, him letting her process this new information. His arms wrapped around her, she took the time to study him, having had so little time to just  _look_  at him. Her eyes combed over his arms, taking in the dark designs over his skin. There was an intricate stormy scene over his shoulder that spread down to his elbow, she saw a storm cloud raining music notes, with wind gusts made of lyrics. 

     Below the elbow his entire lower arm was made to look like space, filled with stars and galaxies far, far away. A blazing battle between ships was taking place in the scene, bolts of red and green blasting between them, the only colors on the entirety of his sleeve. She was running a finger over the colors when she spoke again.

     “So, I guess you wouldn’t want to tell me what your name used to be?” She asked quietly. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to know, maybe it felt like it would bring her closer to him, knowing something about him now many did.

     He ran a thumb over the top of her knee, debating. Taking a deep breath he said, “Ben. My name was Ben.”

     “Ben...?” She pressed.

     “Just Ben.” He said quietly, ending this line of conversation. Somewhere in the back of her mind an inkling of familiarity trickled down down like drops of water that fell into your palm and ran out of your hand, never letting you hold on to them. She furrowed her brow, thinking, but whatever it was she thought she recalled had already slipped away. 

     “Don’t think too much about it, Rey. It’s not anything to stress over... just a part of my life I’d rather forget. Is that okay?” He asked softly. 

     She nodded, letting her head fall back against his chest. “Yes, I’m sorry I bugged you about it.” 

     “Shh. Nothing to be sorry about.” He assured her. “I mean, especially since, well..”

     “What is it?” She asked, curious.

     “I mean, you’re just very.. _wet_ , right now. Also, so _naked_.” He hummed approvingly. 

     She giggled despite herself, brazenly rubbing her bottom against him. “You didn’t give me much of a choice.”

     “Mm, it’s much better this way.” He purred, thrusting his hips slightly. 

     “Hey now, we’ll never get cleaned up that way.” She laughed.

     “I believe I said I made no promises.” He chuckled.

     He reached up, sweeping her hair to the side and baring her neck to him. He pressed his lips to the skin there, sucking lightly as he traced a path of kisses down to the bend in her shoulder. He ran his tongue over the mark he’d made there earlier, soothing it. 

     Rey’s mouth parted slightly, her breath coming out in deep exhales as his mouth heated her blood. He released her suddenly, reaching outside the tub to the wrack below. He pulled a bottle of body wash out, as well as a small mesh loofah. Squirting a generous amount of wash over it, he lathered up the loofah, squeezing it over her chest and letting the suds rain down over her skin. 

     “You _did_  say you wanted to get clean.” He said against her hair. 

     Rey could do nothing but let out a helpless whimper, wanting nothing more than for him to touch her. The small sponge looked miniature in his large hands, barely filling his palm. He touched it gently to her skin, running it across the ridges of her collar bones and down her side, only just grazing the sides of her breasts. 

     He continued a path underneath her heaving breasts, bringing it back up between them and mimicking his actions down the other side, never actually touching where she wanted him most. He did this several times, adding a detour down her breastbone and across her bellybutton, returning back the way he came before reaching her pubic bone. He teased her mercilessly, riling her up without ever actually touching her anywhere overly inappropriate. 

     Her skin was on fire, but she was growing increasingly more sexually frustrated as he continued his slow torture. Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore and she heard herself growling before she could stop herself. 

     “ _Kylo_. Enough teasing me! Just _touch_ me already!” She panted. 

     He immediately dropped the sponge, grabbing her breast roughly and pulling at the nipple between his fingers. “Mm, yes ma’am.” He ground out, as wound up by his actions as she was. 

     She could feel the hardness of him pressed into her backside, and she instinctively ground against it, causing him to groan. He brought his other hand around to pay the same attention to her other breast, palming them forcefully. Rey found her leaning forward to press them further into his hands. 

     Kylo was actively rubbing against her now, the head of his cock sliding through the cleft of her ass easily with the warm water acting as a lubricant. 

     Breathing heavily, he said. “ _Fuck_ , Rey. I can’t take it. I need you again.”

     “Then _take me_.” She said roughly, surprising even herself.

     Kylo moaned, wildly reaching behind him to the ledge of the tub where he’d left a condom. His breath came out in ragged gasps, matching Rey’s perfectly. 

     “Lean over.” He demanded. “Grab the edge of the tub.”

     She immediately complied, gripping the edge of the tub. The action left her ass suspended over the water, completely exposed. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed, as Kylo suddenly rose to his knees and slid his entire palm between her legs, cupping her sex and letting his middle finger slide between her folds. He groaned when he felt her wet and ready for him. 

     He continued to stroke her, eliciting a chorus of lewd sounds that she couldn’t contain. With his free hand, he slid the condom down over his cock, securing it to the base. He wrenched his hand from her now drenched pussy, spreading her legs wider as his other hand still gripped his erection. 

     “Hold on.” He warned.

     Rey didn’t have time to respond as he slid into her in one quick stroke, filling her to the hilt. She let out a pitiful mewl, the force of his massive cock filling her suddenly taking her breath away. 

     He held for a moment, allowing her to adjust to his size. “Good?” He grunted.

     “ _So good_.” She moaned.

     Needing no more encouragement, he started to move. He reared his hips back, starting with long, slow strokes. He started an agonizing rhythm, leaving her completely every other stroke to let his cock slide between her folds before forcefully slamming back into her. He kept up this mind numbing pace, the ever changing motions driving her wild. 

     When she was panting fully, he pulled her up by the hair into an upright position, fisting her tresses and holding her in place. He began to fuck her brutally, slamming into her over and over while placing searing kisses down the skin of her neck. The hand gripping her hip wound around to stroke her clit, and that was all it took to send her spiraling over the edge of her climax. 

     Rey came, _hard_. Her eyes clouding over until the bright lights of the bathroom were all one haze of white, allowing her to see nothing else. Kylo continued to pound into her, chasing his own orgasm and causing waves of pleasure to continue washing over her. When she clenched her thighs against the sensation, it caused her to squeeze him from the inside, eliciting a shout from him as he found release. 

     He wound his arms around her, one resting across her chest as a hand clenched her shoulder, the other tightly gripping her hip. He continued to make shallow strokes as he emptied himself inside her, whispering nonsensical obscenities in her ear that she couldn’t make out. 

     They remained wound together, their harsh breathing synchronized as they tried to come down from the experience. Somehow, every sexual encounter with Kylo seemed to outdo the last. Rey found herself wondering if she would ever _not_  lose her mind when she was with him. She prayed she never found out. 

     Kylo pressed his lips to the skin between her shoulder blades, letting his hands run down the skin of her arms. His touch caused her to shiver, or maybe it was just that the water had grown tepid during their tryst. 

     “We never did get clean..” Rey laughed. 

     “Worth it.” He grinned into her back. 

     “But my hair...” She groaned.

     “Fine, fine.” He relented. “Shower? I promise to be good.”

     She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

     Kylo helped her out of the bath and into the shower, turning on the hot water. True to his word, he refrained from anymore deviant behavior, satisfying himself to only be maybe a little more handsy than necessary as he “assisted” Rey in washing herself. 

     When she was clean, Rey made him bend down so she could reach his unruly mop of hair, lathering it up with shampoo and letting her nails scrape against his scalp. He hummed appreciatively at the action, closing his eyes in content. 

     “You like that?” She asked him. 

     “Mm, very much.” He confirmed. “You may have to take over all my washes from now on.”

     Rey giggled at the thought. “What a demanding job that sounds like.”

     “There’s an incentive package if you do well.” He teased. 

     “Was that an innuendo...? Did you really just refer to your penis as an incentive?” She laughed.

     “Let’s be honest here,” he said assuredly, “It’s one hell of an incentive.” 

     Rey pulled his hair roughly, causing him to yelp. “You’re terrible.”

     She rinsed his hair, pushing it back from his face and letting her fingers trail down across the gauges in his ears. Kylo shuddered as her finger came around to trace the shell of his ear, closing his eyes against the contact. 

     “Does someone have sensitive ears?” Rey teased. 

     “Apparently so.. or maybe it’s just you.” He said lowly. 

     “I’ll have to keep that in mind.” She said. “Okay terrible, we’re clean. Let’s get out of here, I’m hungry.”

     “Worked up an appetite did you?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

     She smacked his side, laughing as she stepped out to towel off. Kylo followed, grabbing another towel from the rack and rubbing himself down, drying the water that clung to him. Rey’s eyes followed the motion, trying to be sly but failing.

     “Careful, Rey, keep looking at me like that and there’ll be no leaving this room.” He grinned. 

     Rey rolled her eyes at him as he wrapped the towel around his waist, covering himself. He made to leave the bathroom and Rey asked if he’d seen her phone, not remembering where she’d left it the night before.

     “I think I saw it on the dresser, it’s probably dead by now. Do you want me to plug it up while you get ready?” He asked.

     “That would be great, thank you. The charger is in my bag.” She added, nodding to the bag sitting near the bathroom closet.  

     He dug through it briefly, finding what he was looking for and leaving the bathroom to find her phone. She walked over to her bag, digging out her extra underwear, shorts and purple tank and quickly changing into them. She was towel drying her hair when Kylo reentered the bathroom, dressed only in worn jeans. 

     He scrunched up his nose at her top, saying, “Purple?”

     Rey laughed, rolling her eyes. “Not _everything_ I own is pink, Kylo.”

     He sighed dramatically. “That’s too bad.”

     She shook her head at his silliness, distracted by his state of semi undress. His bare chest was not helping her to hurry along her actions. “Don’t you have a shirt or something you can put on?” She asked somewhat irritably.

     Kylo grinned knowingly. “Why? Does something about my appearance distract you?”

     “ _Everything_  about your appearance distracts me.” She admitted.

     “Ah, don’t worry,” he said, waltzing over to kiss her on the cheek. “you’re pretty distracting yourself.”

     She smiled and shoved him playfully, telling him to go finish getting dressed so he could take her to get some food, to which he obliged. When her hair had dried to it’s normal state of tousled waves, she pulled her bag up onto the counter to find her tooth brush.

     Kylo came back in as she was brushing, dressed in a deep teal button down and violet suspenders, the completed ensemble doing nothing to ease his distracting presence. 

     “I have to say that you clothed isn’t much better than you undressed.” She admitted, rinsing the paste from her mouth with water. 

     He let a thumb rub idly over one of his suspender straps. “Rey.. do you have a little kink for these?”

     She sighed, pressing her lips together to set the lipgloss she was now applying and then placing it back into her bag. “Hard not to after _someone_ made them completely dirty last night.”

      “Ah, that was fun.” He said, smiling widely. 

     She blushed, remembering. “Yeah.” She said softly. Remembering something suddenly, she asked, “Kylo, where are the underwear you took from my house?”

     He grinned wolfishly. “I’ll never tell.

     “So bad.” She replied, laughing. 

     “Your phone came back on.” He told her, walking over to brush his own teeth. “It’s buzzed like four times now since it booted up.”

     She groaned. “Rose.”

     Kylo laughed. “She acts like your mother.”

     Rey sighed. “Sometimes I swear she thinks she is.”

     “Well, there are worse things.” He chuckled.

     Rey shrugged, walking past him as he started to brush his teeth so she could check her phone. She grabbed it from the nightstand and swiped it open to an onslaught of text messages. Three from Rose and one from Jyn.

      **Rose: Are you up yet?**

**Rose: Hellllloooooo. It’s after eleven. How many times can you bone in one night?**

**Rose: STOP YOUR BANGING AND COME EAT LUNCH!**

**Jyn: I tried to tell her to leave you alone and let you get some. She’s insane. P.S. Ask her about the bassist when you see her. ;)**

     Rey laughed at her crazy friends, shaking her head. Turning to Kylo as he walked back into the bedroom, she said, “Well, back to the real world.”

     He sighed, blowing air through his lips and rolling his eyes. “Do we have to? It’s so nice in the room..”

     Rey shoved him playfully. “Come on terrible, feed me.”

     “Mm, promises, promises.” He grinned.

     Rey was still giggling as they left the room to meet their friends, already missing the little bubble they’d made for themselves in the suite.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> OMG. HERE HE IS. My sweet angel [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gopherbroke) took him right out of the story and breathed life into him and I am in LOVE. <3 He’s perfect. She’s perfect. I am content.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday! I hope everyone had a great weekend! I napped, I lounged, I watched the Phantom Menace (yeah, I don’t know why either. Only for you Anakin.), AND I wrote some new chapters. Thanks for bearing with the break! :*

     Rey rode the elevator down with Kylo, him taking advantage of the tight space by pulling her to him for a quick kiss. She wound her arms around his neck, pulling herself to meet his tall frame. She was still kissing him lazily when the elevator doors opened moments later, Rose standing there expectingly.

     “Oh brother, I can’t decide if you two are adorable or nauseating.” She said irritably.

     “Mm, adorable is my vote.” Kylo teased. 

     Rey giggled, giving her a sheepish, “Sorry.”

     Rose waved her off. “Come on, we’re all waiting for you in the restaurant. I was about to come knock on the door and make sure you guys were still alive.”

     Rose was a little grumpy this morning, and Rey couldn’t help but wonder if it had anything to do with what Jyn has texted her about. 

     Rey caught Rose’s arm before she walked too far ahead, nodding at Kylo to go on without them.

     “Hey, you okay?” Rey asked.

     Rose sighed. “How much did Jyn blab?”

     Rey shook her head. “She just said I should ask you about it.”

     Rose clicked her tongue. “It’s nothing major. I just.. I may have gotten super drunk last night.”

     Rey gave her a look that said that wasn’t anything new, to which Rose shrugged.

     “ _Anyway_ , I may have been still pretty tipsy when the rest of the band showed up to join our little party.” She grumbled.

     “Okay?” Rey pressed.

     “ _Okay_ , and I _may_  have made out with the bassist.” She groaned.

     Rey squealed. “Hux? Really? How was it?”

     “ _So_  hot. I don’t even normally _like_  red heads but the guy knows how to work what he’s got. Plus.. those tattoos..” Rose gushed.

     “I’m confused, if it was so great, why are you so grumpy?” Rey asked.

     Rose huffed. “ _Because_ , I _may_ have fully implied that he could come up to my room and the guy _totally_  snubbed me. Sent me up alone.”

     “Ah, well, how drunk were you? Maybe he was being a gentleman?” Rey offered.

     Rose scoffed. “As if, he was just as drunk as I was. Plus, I saw that blonde eyeing him at the bar. Whatever, it’s not even worth it.”

     Rey threw an arm around Rose’s shoulders, pulling her tight to her. “I’m sorry. If he can’t see what he’s missing out on then, well, um.. _fuck him._ ” Rey sputtered.

     “Thanks babe, your adorable swearing makes me feel better.” Rose smiled. “What about you, eh? Did _you_  have a good night?”

     Rey blushed furiously. “It was.. perfect.” 

     Rose grinned widely. “I’ll say. You look properly worked over there.. is that a _hickey_?”

     Rey slapped a hand to the base of her neck and quickly adjusted her tank to cover the spot. 

     “Oh my _God_. He’s a beast! I’m so jealous.” Rose giggled. 

     Rey laughed and bumped Rose’s hip with her own. “Come on, I’m starving.”

     Rose sighed. “Fine, fine, but one of these days you’re going to give me some dirty details, I mean apparently that’s as good as my sex life is going to get.. living vicariously through my friends.”

     Rey patted Rose on the shoulder in a, “There, there.”, motion. Rose slapped her hand playfully and they walked to the table where the rest of their party were waiting. 

     Phasma and Mitaka were sitting at the far end of the table, already eating. Phasma seemed to be currently stealing from her husband’s plate, as he watched amusedly. Cassian sat across the table from Jyn, both seeming to be doing their very best to avoid looking at each other. Cassian was staring at a menu while Jyn played on her phone. Kylo pulled out Rey’s chair and tapped the seat, wordlessly asking her to sit down. She plopped down beside him as Rose took the seat across from her. 

     “Still starving?” He asked her.

     “Mhm. _So_  hungry.” She replied, eyeing the menu. 

      “So,” Jyn shot towards Rey without looking up from her phone. “worked up quite an appetite last night did we? Hmm?”

     Rey’s head snapped towards Jyn, her mouth falling open as Kylo stifled a laugh. “ _Jyn_.”

     Jyn grinned wickedly and turned her head slightly towards Rey, winking. “Don’t be embarrassed, girl. We’re all adults here.”

     Rey flushed and pointedly pored over her menu. Kylo pressed a kiss to her cheek, still snickering slightly, then turned to look at his own menu. The waiter came round not long after, and everyone placed their order. He took their menus and told them he’d have their food right out before turning and heading back to the kitchen.

     Kylo leaned back in his chair, letting one arm hang over the back of it as he stretched out one of his long legs under the table. “So, Rose, Jyn, are you guys graduating this year with Rey?”

     Rose scrunched up her nose. “Sort of, I’ll graduate with my bachelors, but then in the fall I have to start my DPT classes. My dad owns a Physical Therapy practice and I’d eventually like to take over for him.”

     “Wicked.” Kylo said nodding his head. “I can respect going into the family business. What about you Jyn?”

     “Actually I graduated three years ago from USC with a business degree. I got a loan and bought my shop, Stripped, and I’ve been working the last few years to get it off the ground. It’s doing pretty well now.” She said proudly.

     “Oh yeah.. wait,” Kylo said, glancing at Rey as he remembered something. “you mentioned your work last night, what kind of shop do you have exactly?”

     Jyn flashed a Cheshire grin, winking at Rey. “Body grooming.”

     Kylo’s eyes went wide as it all fell into place. He smiled wolfishly, grabbing Jyn by the hand and grasping it firmly.

     “Listen, you’re a true artist.” He told her. “I’m _very_ impressed by your work.”

     Jyn threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine.”

     Rey let her head fall to the table in mock chagrin, shaking her head against the wood surface. “You two are _not_  allowed to be friends.”

     Hux chose that moment to join their little party, shuffling over from the direction of the main lobby, scratching the back of his neck. His normally pointed hair was slicked back, and he was yawning widely, revealing a bright blue piercing on his tongue. 

     He took a seat at the opposite end of the table, perching near Phasma as he eyed Rose warily. Rose shot him an openly hostile look before turning back to Rey and pointedly ignoring him. Hux sighed and shook his head before turning to Kylo.

     “ _Dude_. Have you checked the internet today?” He said excitedly.

     Kylo shrugged with one shoulder, reaching over to squeeze Rey’s knee before responding. “Na, I’ve been a little.. preoccupied.”

     Rey smiled, bumping her knee to his. Hux pulled out his phone to show Kylo an article he had pulled up. Kylo read quietly, laughing softly as he read. 

     “What does it say?” Rey asked.

     “Everyone’s speculating who the song was for. They’re literally scouring the internet for anyone who wears the color more than once a week.” He said, shaking his head. 

     Rey giggled. “They’ll never guess. I’m a nobody.”

      Kylo grabbed her chin, turning her face and saying, “But not to me.”, before kissing her full on the mouth.

     A fry suddenly pelted Kylo on the head from the direction of the other end of the table. “Get a room, you prat.” Phasma said, chuckling.

     He rolled his eyes at her. “ We have one.” To Rey he added,” Can we get this food to go?”

     Rey shook her head, shushing him. Kylo eyed Phasma and Mitaka’s food, giving a look of mock disapproval. “Thanks for waiting for us by the way.”

     Phasma shrugged. “Some of us had better things to do with our morning than shag the day away.”

     Kylo clutched a hand to his chest. “Oh, has it already gotten that bad?” He gave a sympathetic look to Mitaka. “‘Man, I'm so sorry.”

     Mitaka laughed and Phasma just grinned into her food, muttering, “Wanker.”

     The waiter returned then with their plates, dispensing them appropriately and then pausing to take an order from Hux before leaving again. 

     As the rest of the table began digging in their food, Hux leaned forward, putting his chin on his fist and looking back and forth between Cassian and Jyn deviously. 

     “ _Soooo_. Cas, Jyn. How was your night kids? You were still at the bar when I left. Anything... _interesting_ happen after I was gone?” He asked.

     Jyn stopped scrolling through her phone, looking up and giving Cassian a level look. Cassian’s brow furrowed slightly, so slightly that Rey almost didn’t notice. Rose coughed, trying very hard not to butt in and focusing on her food.  
   
     Before Cassian could answer, Jyn spoke up, saving him. “Nothing overly interesting.” She said coolly. “This one isn’t much for partying.” She jerked her chin towards Cassian with that last bit. “I passed out in my room after one too many.” Jyn immediately returned her attention back to her phone, her expression giving nothing away. Cassian stared after her for several more moments, his expression.. grateful? Rey had a hard time reading him. She saw his jaw tense before he returned his attention to his plate, saying nothing more about it. Rey couldn’t help but think there was more to the story. 

     “Well that’s.. disappointing.” Hux sighed. 

     “Mm, disappointing seemed to be the theme of the party last night.” Rose said between bites, never once even looking Hux’s way. 

     He gave her a weary look, shaking his head but deciding it was better not to respond. Instead, he turned to Mitaka and started up a conversation about trying a new chord progression at their next rehearsal. 

     Kylo whistled lowly, trying to defuse the tension. “This turned awkward so fast.” 

     Rose snorted but didn't say anything more. Rey met Kylo’s eyes and they shared a guilty look, knowing that _their_  night had apparently been leaps and bounds above those of her friends. 

     Deciding to steer the conversation to more neutral territory, Kylo asked the girls, “So when do you have to be back tonight?”

     Jyn replied first, telling him she had to open the shop tomorrow for a few appointments, but as long as they were back before midnight she could deal. Rose had nothing going on the next day, and told him she was okay with whatever. 

     “Rey?” Kylo asked, eyes hopeful.

     “Mm, I do have to work in the morning.. this is my last week there before they close for the summer. As long as I get in at a somewhat decent time this evening I’ll be okay.. maybe leave here around seven or so?” She told him. 

     He sighed dramatically. “So soon.” He offered the other two an apologetic look. “You know I’m going to have to steal her away for a few more hours, right?”

     Rose rolled her eyes, smiling at them. “I still can’t decide if you two are adorable or nauseating.. but I love it. We’ll be fine entertaining ourselves.”

     Jyn tapped her fist on the table twice saying, “Hear, hear.”

     Kylo grinned. “You guys are so fucking rad. There’s some cool shopping around these parts, Cassian could drive you..?”

     Jyn looked up from her phone to meet Cassian’s eyes, the two seeming to have a silent conversation. Cassian eventually gave a slight nod. “Yeah, I can drive you.” He assented.

     Jyn cocked an eyebrow, giving a slight, “Hm.”, before telling Rose she’d be down to shop if that’s what Rose wanted. Rose was all over the idea of retail therapy, and pulled out her phone to Google some local places she’d like to visit. 

     Kylo leaned over his chair to bring himself closer to Rey’s ear, saying, “ _You_ , I have plans for.”

     Rey flushed, her pulse picking up its pace slightly. Phasma and Mitaka rose from the table then, telling the rest of the group they had errands to run. Hux asked if he could tag along, and then made to leave with them, giving Rose a slightly forlorn expression before turning and catching up to the other two. 

     “We’re going to go grab our stuff from the room. You guys stay out of trouble.” Rose informed them, winking at Rey before she and Jyn took off towards their room. Kylo eyed Cassian, who was quiet. 

     “Hey man, you alright?” Kylo asked him.

     Cassian nodded. “Fine.”

     “What’s the real deal with you and her?” Kylo pressed, jerking his head towards the direction of Jyn’s retreating figure. 

     Cassian stared after her for a moment before answering. “Just like she said, just a late night and a couple of drinks. Nothing really to talk about.” He shrugged, leaving the table and heading towards the main lobby. 

     Kylo gave Rey a skeptical look, “You buy any of that?”

     Rey shook her head. “Not even a little. They’re being weird.”

     Kylo nodded in agreement. “Ah, well. Never mind them. We have plans.”

     “Oh we do, do we?” Rey asked curiously.

     Kylo flashed her a wide smile. “Yeah. We’d better get a move on too, we’re burning daylight.”

     “Where are we going?” She pressed.

     “A little shopping of our own. Solana Beach is only a twenty minute drive, give or take.” He said excitedly.

     “Shopping for what?” She asked, confused.

     “Well, you can’t go to the beach without a bathing suit.” He said, winking. 

     She scrunched up her nose. “Those beach shops only sell those tiny little bikinis that don’t really cover anything up.”

     Kylo laughed out loud. “Baby, I’m already sold no need to keep pitching.”

     Rey huffed. “You’re terrible.”

     “Besides, you do realize I’ve seen you completely naked right?”

     Rey shoved his shoulder, giggling. “Shut- _up_.”

     “I _really_ fucking love that sound.” He admitted.

     Rey smiled and tugged his arm, pulling him out of the chair. “Well come on, lets go shopping then.”

     They took a taxi from the resort down to the coastal town of Solana Beach, where Rey spent most of the ride in glued to the taxi window taking in the ocean views. It had been years since she’d taken an actual trip to the beach, which seemed ridiculous since she lived so close. 

     All down the walkways people bustled to and fro, darting in and out shops and making their way to the water. Kylo, who had changed into black swim trunks and a grey t-shirt, had grabbed a dark ball cap and sunglasses from the room before they’d left, and was putting on his meager disguise when the taxi let them out on a busy street corner. It was the first time she’d seen him without the suspenders, but even dressed casually he somehow seemed a little.. _more_.

     “I hate to break it to you,” Rey told him. “but you’re still easy to spot. Now you just look slightly cooler than you did before.” She teased. 

     He shrugged and snaked an arm around her, putting a hand in her back pocket before steering her down the street towards the cluster of various beach shops. He skid to a stop outside a particular shop with a bright neon sign, eyeing the outdoor display rack. He pointed at an entire row of hot pink bikinis, giving her an enthusiastic look.

     Rey laughed. “This is becoming a problem.”

     He nodded, grinning suggestively. “Please?”

     She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, scanning the rack briefly before pulling out her size in the suit. “Let me go try it on.”

     “Oh, I could come with.. give feedback..” Kylo urged. 

     “Oh, no. I don’t think so.” She giggled.

     He stuck out his bottom lip, giving her his best pout. Rey had to admit that Kylo pouting probably should be a crime, no one should look that good making a face like that. She shook her head, turning to head toward the dressing rooms. They were located in the back corner of the store, wide stalls with a full length mirror and a bench seat. 

     Rey shut the door behind her and locked it. She slid off her shoes, kicking them aside before she unbuttoned her shorts to shimmy out of them. She went about shedding the rest of her clothes, stripping down to nothing before trying on the tiny pink bikini. It covered only the most obscene parts of her, with the rest of her pale, freckled skin completely on display. 

     “There’s no way I can wear this in public.” Rey said to herself.

     Suddenly a knock rapped urgently on the dressing room door, and Kylo’s distraught voice rang out. 

     “Rey, open up.” He urged.

     “What? No, way!” She said, flustered.

     “No, seriously Rey, I saw a guy out here with a camera who I’m pretty sure is with the damn paparazzi. I think he tried to take my picture.” He pressed.

     “Oh, no!” She quickly wrenched open the dressing room door, ushering him inside and closing it behind him before locking it back. “Where did you see him?”

     “Mm, see who?” He asked, his voice low as eyed her tiny bathing suit. He took off his sunglasses and hooked them onto the collar of his t-shirt. 

     “The guy with the camera!” She said worriedly.

     “Oh, that. I just said that so you’d let me in.” He grinned wickedly. 

     Her mouth dropped open and she smacked him across the chest. “You liar!”

     He snickered at her before placing a finger to his lips to shush her. “Quiet now, you don’t want anyone to catch us in here do you?”

     She immediately pressed her lips together tightly, mortified at the thought of someone finding them and them getting into trouble. 

     “Good girl.” He said quietly. He hooked a finger into the hem of her bikini bottoms, pulling her closer to him. “Now, if you _really_  want me to go, I’ll leave.. but if you let me stay I’d be inclined to make it worth it.”

     Her heart started pounding as she released a shaky breath. “Worth it?” She said softly.

     “Mhm. You’ll have to be really, really, quiet.” He whispered.

     Rey could only nod, her inhibitions burning up right before her eyes under the  fire Kylo ignited in her. She took a tentative step forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself further against him as she whispered, “Mm.. I can be quiet.”

     Kylo flashed her a wicked grin, taking the string tied at her hip and tugging, undoing one side of her bottoms. Rey sucked in a shaky breath as it fell open, leaving her hip exposed. He rubbed a thumb across her bare skin, dragging it around as he walked behind her in a slow circle to the other side. He stood at her back, pulling at the remaining strings to undo them as the suit bottoms fell to the floor. The position at which she was standing had her facing the full length mirror directly in front of her, and every bit of her nakedness was on display for the both of them, causing her to blush.

     Kylo grabbed her hand before she could instinctively attempt to cover herself, pulling her arm above her head to wrap around his neck in silent command that she leave it there. He then reached between them, pulling a condom from his pocket and holding it between his teeth before shoving his trunks roughly down his hips. 

     Rey raised an eyebrow in the mirror at the condom he was holding with his mouth, which caused one side of his mouth to turn up. 

     “I didn’t know for sure, but man did I hope.” He muttered quietly around the foil package.

     Her breath hitched when he tore the foil packet with his teeth, reaching between them to slide the condom on. He watched her eyes widen in the mirror, never looking away from her. When the condom was situated, he took a step back, seating himself on the padded bench and pulling her down onto his lap. 

     He wound an arm around her, parting her softness with his fingers and groaning softly when he found her already ready for him. 

     “ _Fuck_. I’ve barely touched you and you’re so wet.” He whispered roughly.

     She let out a soft moan under his touch, and he squeezed her hip gently with his free hand as a reminder. “Shh..” he chided. “Quiet, baby.”

     Kylo grabbed her by the hips and lifted her slightly, bringing her back down over his cock at a slow, torturous pace. Rey bit her lip hard, trying to refrain from crying out at the overwhelming fullness. When there was no more left of him to take, Kylo pushed Rey forward, arching her back and allowing himself a deeper angle. He gripped her shoulder then with one hand, the other digging into her waist, encouraging her to move.

     Rey rocked forward, her eyes drifting shut from the sensation of him inside her. His hand drifted upwards over her skin, finding her breast and pinching her nipples through the fabric. Her eyes popped open, and in the reflection of the mirror she saw Kylo use two fingers to point at his eyes before pointing towards the mirror, wordlessly telling her he wanted her to watch. 

     Her eyes dropped to the place where they were joined, watching him slide in and out of her. She swallowed roughly, her mouth dry. Watching Kylo, there was no other word for it, _fuck_ her, was so raw and carnal. She felt a primal sense of satisfaction course through her, knowing that she made Kylo’s breath catch like that, that she made him so painfully turned on. 

     Emboldened, she reached between them, running her fingers over the base of him and continuing to down to cup his balls. He tensed, shuddering visibly and shutting his eyes tight. When he opened them again, they had darkened considerably, his breath coming out shaky. He took both hands to her waist, moving to pick up his pace, when they were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door.

     “Ma’am? Need any help? I can get you a different size if you need me to.” An attendant called through the door.

     Rey’s eyes went wide with panic, her mouth dropping open as she met Kylo’s eyes. He didn’t look perturbed in the slightest, in fact he was grinning lazily, and jerked his head suggestively at the door, silently telling her to answer. Rey shook her head furiously, to which Kylo opened his mouth, showing Rey that if she didn’t answer, he would.

     “I’m fine!” Rey said, flustered. “I, uh..” She stopped speaking, for Kylo had started to thrust again, giving her a devilish grin in the reflection of the mirror. He nodded emphatically, urging her to continue. “I’m just.. waiting on a text back for an opinion on this suit! I’ll be right out.” She managed, if somewhat breathlessly. 

     “Okay girl!” The attendant said, satisfied. “Just holler if you need me!”

     “Sure thing!” Rey replied as Kylo began to thrust in earnest, reaching around to hastily rub her clit. She gripped his thighs, bracing herself as he furiously pounded into her. She hissed out a breath when he leaned to press his lips to her neck, running his tongue across the skin. 

     When he reached up to roll a nipple between his fingers, Rey spiraled over the edge and came on the spot, shaking against Kylo’s lap. He soon followed, her clenching inner muscles pushing him to climax. 

     They were both breathing heavily, their mutual sighs the only sounds save for the soft overhead music coming from shop. When he finally slid out of her, he groaned at the motion. She stood on shaky legs, scanning the floor for the bathing suit bottoms. Kylo snatched them up before she had the chance, holding them up by the strings and eyeing her suggestively. 

     “So...” he teased. “I think it’s safe to say we’ll be taking this one, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffflufffluffflufffluff. Sigh. 
> 
> On a serious note, I was getting pretty burned out at the furious pace I was spitting out chapters.. seriously there was a moment there where I had no idea where my children were. (JUST KIDDING! XD) Now the thought of making you wait a super long time pains me because I’d be going crazy if it were me.. so let’s try Monday, Wednesday and Friday updates, that’s not so bad right? May the smut gods bless you. <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy “hump day”! ;)

     Rey smacked Kylo across the chest, wrenching her bikini bottoms from him and hastily sliding them over her hips and retying them. “After that little stunt you’re totally buying these for me.” She chided.

     “Totally worth it.” Kylo chuckled. “I’m going to sneak out first. I’ll knock on the door if it’s clear. Just pull off the tags and leave that on under your clothes.”

     “Yes, _sir_.” She said sarcastically, noting his bossy tone.

     “Mm. I could probably get used to that.” He winked.

     She shooed him out of the room and made to put on her clothes. Holding her bra and underwear, she was at a loss at what to do with them. She hadn’t thought ahead to bring anything to carry her extra clothes around while they explored. A soft knock sounded at the door to the dressing room, signaling that it was safe to come out. 

     Rey ducked out of the dressing room, clutching her undergarments in her hands. Kylo stood on the other side, his sunglasses once again perched on the bridge of his nose, holding a tiny nylon string backpack.

     “Here. For your underwear.” He told her. “Unless you want to give me a second pair.” He added, wiggling his eyebrows.

     She took the backpack, laughing, slightly touched that he’d thought of it. It was a silly thing, but it made her stomach flutter that he seemed to always be thinking about her. “Thank you.” She told him.

     He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go pay and get out of here.”

     She followed him to the front of the store, blushing slightly at the cashier when she asked, “Guess you got the okay on the suit?”

     Rey nodded. “Um, yeah. It’s great.”

     Kylo handed the tags over and the cashier rang them up. He handed her some bills from his wallet and she gave him change. The cashier eyed him slightly, trying to place him. 

     “You look familiar.” She said.

     “Yeah? I get that a lot.” He replied, pulling his cap lower. 

     “Hm. So weird. I swear I’ve seen you before.” She told him, her face furrowed in concentration. 

     Kylo shrugged, taking his change and telling her to have a nice day. They exited the store and continued down the sidewalk. “Does that happen a lot?” Rey asked.

     “Hm?” Kylo responded curiously.

     “People recognizing you.” Rey clarified. 

     He shrugged. “I mean definitely more in the last year or so. That’s why I told you last week it would be a pain to try and see you in public. Even with all of this,” he said, gesturing to his cap and glasses, “some of the more diehard fans will catch me sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s so cool to meet fans, but sometimes I’d just like to be able to go outside without being mauled, you know?”

     “I get it. You kind of give up your privacy when you make it big.” She sympathized.

     He nodded. “Exactly. It’s cool, but sometimes it’s just a little much.”

    Rey spotted an ice cream cart parked down on the corner, and squealed excitedly.  “Ice cream! Do you want some?” She asked Kylo.

     “Yeah, that sounds great.” He said distractedly. 

     She walked ahead, but stopped when she realized he wasn’t following. “You coming?”

     “I’ll be right there.” He said, eyeing something in the window of the store they’d passed. “Just get me whatever you’re having, I need to grab something from in here real quick.”

     “Okay..” Rey agreed. He ducked into the store, which looked to be a local boutique. She continued on without him, stopping at the cart and buying two cones. She waited as the vendor scooped up two, fluffy scoops of vanilla and plopped them down onto separate waffle cones. He handed them to her one by one, and she balanced them in one hand before reaching into her pocket to grab her wallet. 

     “I’ve got that.” Kylo said, suddenly appearing at her side. He handed the vendor some money and took one of the cones from her. 

     “I could have gotten it..” Rey grumbled.

     He laughed. “I know, but you’re not paying for something when you’re out with me.”

     “Such a man thing to say.” Rey replied while rolling her eyes. 

     “Rey, I think by now it should be _obvious_  I’m a man. Should I show you again?” He said suggestively. 

     She shushed him, blushing into the roots of her hair as the ice cream vendor bit back a laugh. She shoved Kylo down the sidewalk, shaking her head. He was as exasperating as he was endearing. It certainly kept her on her toes. 

     “What did you buy?” She asked him between licks of her ice cream. 

     “Ah, just a cool keychain I saw.” He said nonchalantly. 

     She raised an eyebrow. “Do you even have, well, keys? Doesn’t Cassian drive you everywhere?”

     He gave her an amused look. “I’m not an heiress or some shit. I have keys, Rey.” He took a long lick from his cone, the action doing dangerous things to her. She eyed the motion of his tongue, her mind recalling dirtier things he’d done with it in the last twenty four hours.

     He caught her staring, raising an eyebrow. “Problem?” He grinned, taking extra care to slowly swipe at his cone with his tongue. 

     She grinned up at him. “So bad.”

     He winked at her, and they continued toward the beach entrance. Finishing their ice cream, they crossed the road hastily, jogging over to the sandy pathway that cut between a large iron gate. Kylo pulled Rey over to a wooden bench, sitting so he could slip of his sandals and pull his t shirt over his head. Her body immediately reacted to his body on display, a reaction she seemed to have no control over. 

     He took the cloth backpack from her, shoving his things inside and then eyeing her still clothed form. “Well, come on. Strip.” He teased.

     She was a little self conscious now out here in the open, and she bit her lip hesitantly. “Hey.” He said, grabbing her hand. “I promise you that you’re the best looking thing on this damn beach, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

     She smiled shyly, warmed by his praise. Reaching down, she grabbed the hem of her tank, pulling it up and over her head. Kylo swallowed hard at the sight of so much of her skin on display, her small but full breasts tucked precariously into the tiny cups of her suit. 

     “On second thought maybe you should wear the shirt.” He said gruffly. 

     “Oh no, you wanted it off, it’s coming off.” She laughed.

     She shimmied our of her shorts next, letting them fall to the sand below. She slipped off her flip flops, taking the bag from him and shoving it all inside on top of his things. She handed it back, allowing him to slip it over his shoulders.

     She spun in a circle playfully, letting his eyes rove over her barely covered body with a hungry look. “So, you like?” She asked with more confidence than she felt.

     He nodded emphatically, his eyes wide. “Fucking _pink_.” He muttered under his breath. “Come on,” he said louder, taking her by the hand. “Let’s go have some fun.”

     They strolled along the shore, talking about everything and nothing at all. She learned that he’d gotten his first guitar when he was sixteen, a worn Fender from a local pawn shop. He’d taught himself how to play and had started his first band when he was seventeen with Hux. They were terrible; his words, not hers, but they’d had so much fun. 

     When the topic veered towards the death of his father, Kylo was quiet and thoughtful. He still was not very forthcoming about it, but he admitted that he’d died in a car crash. Rey’s heart tightened in her chest at his sad expression when he told her. The memory still pained him greatly and she wanted nothing more than to soothe him, but he was still wary of letting her in. That final thread of emotional distance wounded her slightly, but she told herself to be patient and not push him. 

     In true Kylo fashion, he steered the conversation away from anything heavy, suggesting they swim. The rest of their day was spent playing in the surf, where much to his credit Kylo attempted to untie her bikini only once. When the sun began to drift over the sky, lowering to the horizon, Kylo begrudgingly suggested they start to head back. Pulling his phone from the pack, he called a taxi service while Rey shifted back into her clothes. His eyes were on her during the entire process, winking suggestively when she caught him staring. 

     When he’d hung up the phone, and was shrugging back into his shirt, a two younger girls shuffled up nervously, standing awkwardly by trying to catch his attention. He regarded them curiously, an eyebrow raising over the brim of his sunglasses.

     “Um,” the tiny blonde started. “are you him? _Kylo Ren_?” She squeaked.

     Her taller, brunette friend smiled nervously, flashing a mouthful of braces. Kylo grinned down at them, removing his sunglasses and propping them above the bill of his cap. “Caught me.” He replied kindly.

     The girls squealed, begging him to take a picture with them. He nodded happily and they flanked him on either side. Rey offered to take the photo, and the smaller girl thrust her phone into her hands gratefully. Rey snapped a couple of photos, the girls faces lit up with their ecstatic good fortune. The girls thanked them both profusely after, taking off down the beach and chatting excitedly. 

     “That was adorable.” Rey chuckled.

     Kylo nodded in agreement. “Like I said, sometimes it’s really cool. Let’s get out of here though before someone else catches me.”

     Rey laughed out loud at his anti social tendencies bubbling just under the surface. She could tell deep down all the praise and adoration from his fans still made him a little uncomfortable. She found herself thinking it was sort of cute. A taxi pulled up near the beach entrance then and they climbed in. 

     Rey rested her head against Kylo, sleepy from the long day. He kissed the top of her head, letting his thumb idly stroke the skin below the hem of her shorts. She closed her eyes, leaning into him and sighing softly. 

     “I’m really going to miss you this week.” She admitted. “Will you come visit me next weekend?”

     “I’ll be counting the days, trust me.” He replied honestly.

     “Is it weird? Missing each other so much after having only known each other for such a short time?” She asked as unsurely.  

     “Maybe? I’m pretty new to this, but it feels like I’ve known you a lot longer.” He told her, his brow furrowing slightly. 

     Noticing his expression, she asked, “What’s wrong?” 

     “Hm?” He replied, distracted. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

     “Okay.. I wonder if Jyn and Rose are back at the resort?” She thought out loud.

     Kylo nodded. “Yeah, I texted Cassian to tell him we were on our way back. They got back about an hour ago.”

     She sighed. “Back to the real world.”

     “Hey, this week is going to fly by. Then I have _weeks_ before the international leg starts.” He said in an attempt to comfort her.

     “International leg? I hadn’t even thought about it.. how long will that last?” She pouted. 

     “About eight months.” He replied guiltily. 

     She groaned. “Such bad timing.”

     He squeezed her thigh in a motion of reassurance. “Hey, it’ll be fine. We’ll make it work.”

     She nodded against him, quiet with worry that somehow all of this would come crumbling down around them. How was it possible that in such a short time he’d wormed his way so fully into her heart? She shook off _that_  dangerous line of thinking, she’d known Kylo for a week for Christ’s sake. 

     It was soon after that they pulled up to the hotel and filed out, entering the lobby and making their way to the elevator so Rey could gather her things from the room. The ride up was quiet, the both of them gloomy at the prospect of another week apart. Rey reached across the space to wind her pinky finger around his, to which he linked immediately. He smiled down at the gesture, looking back up at her with a content expression. 

     Eyeing his plush lips, Rey suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. Feeling bold, she fisted the front of his shirt, forcing his tall frame down so that she could meet his mouth. What started as a sweet brush of a kiss quickly turned into an all consuming hunger. His teeth nibbled on the soft flesh of her bottom lip, causing her to groan with pleasure. 

     Kylo pushed her back against the wall of the elevator, molding her small body against his hard form. She felt him already hard and ready between them, his cock pressing into the junction of her thighs as he unconsciously rutted against her. She ground her hips into his, wanting to create more friction between them. His hands slid down her body, gripping her ass roughly as he hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. 

     The elevator dinged as the doors slid open, and Rey tried to wrench herself from him in case someone was in the hall waiting to board. He immediately cupped the back of her neck, holding her in place and savagely possessing her mouth. Rey moaned from the sensation of his tongue rolling over hers, invading her mouth and taking over. Rey could barely breath from the assault, but she found herself unable to be concerned about it at the moment. 

     Kylo carried her out of the elevator, still tightly wrapped around him, and her eyes darted open in panic at the explicit picture they painted. She didn’t see anyone in the hallway, and sighed as she lost herself in Kylo once more. Her back met the door of their room, and she felt Kylo hastily digging through his pockets for the key, never breaking their kiss. Rey was grinding her pelvis into his fervently at this point, unable to muster up any shame in her need for him. 

     Kylo somehow managed to get the door unlocked, kicking it open as he carried them inside. He slammed it shut with his foot, pressing Rey into the cool, stone of the alcove entrance to their suite. His mouth broke from hers, peppering the soft skin of her neck with bruising kisses, trailing down to the swell of her breasts. 

     He hooked his fingers into the fabric of her tank and bikini top, wrenching them down to free her breasts. The fabric caught underneath, hoisting them up as if on display. Kylo greedily latched on to one of her hardened nipples, laving the taut peak with his tongue. He pulled it between his lips and sucked hard, causing her to cry out. 

     With his mouth fully occupied, he reached between them to pop open the button of her shorts, hastily bunching them down her hips. With her legs wrapped around him, the fabric bundled and got stuck, unable to give him access to where he wanted most. He growled in frustration, dropping her to her feet on the floor before jerking the offensive material down and over her hips and tossing it aside. 

     He slowly made his way upwards from his haunches, sliding his fingers over the smooth skin of her legs, leaving scorch marks in their wake. He paused at the flash of pink between her thighs, rubbing his prominent nose over the fabric. Rey’s head fell back against the stone wall when he inhaled deeply, his tongue then darting out to press against her through the fabric. He reached up, taking the ties at her hips and tugging hard to remove the tiny suit bottoms.

     Rey parted her legs to allow the fabric to drop to the floor, and Kylo took the opportunity to swiftly move between them. He gripped the underside of her thighs, hoisting them over his shoulders and lifting upwards to his knees. Rey was helpless in this position, suspended in the air by the weight of his shoulders alone. He wasted no time, parting her softness with his tongue and ravaging her already drenched pussy. He lapped at her entrance, drinking in her arousal as he fucked her with his tongue. 

     Rey gasped at the assault, thrusting her hands into his inky locks and pulling. He groaned against her core, her tugs goings straight to his cock. He swiped his tongue upwards, swirling it around her throbbing clit before pulling it between his lips. All notions of gentleness aside, Kylo hollowed his cheeks, attacking the sensitive bundle of nerves with full force. He sucked mercilessly, darting his tongue back and forth across it and pushing Rey further and further over the edge. 

     When Rey began to quake around him, her orgasm taking hold, he dropped her from his shoulders and hastily shoved his trunks down his hips. With his cock free, he rubbed the head between her slick folds, coating himself in the remnants of her climax. He groaned as he ground against her, reaching in his pocket for a condom.

     Tearing it with his teeth, he muttered, “Fuck I hate these things.”

     Her eyes snapped to his, lowering to watch him slide the condom over himself. She wondered what it would feel like to be without it. She had never been with anyone without a condom before. 

     Her thoughts were suddenly cut off when he lifted her up once more and slid into her in one swift motion. She moaned, his cock filling and stretching her as she adjusted to him. Digging her heels tightly into the muscles of his ass, she pushed him closer. He buried his face into her neck, his warm breath coating her skin.

     He began to move, snapping his hips into her as she bounced down on him, his arms the only thing keeping her aloft. He lifted her over and over, slamming her back down onto his cock at his own brutal pace. He was a machine, frenzied in his need to possess her. He dug his fingers into the swell of her hips, picking up the pace as his breath started to expel in sharp huffs. 

     Rey knew he was close, and could feel her own release creeping back up on her. She reached between them, sliding her fingers over the hard bud of her clit, letting them sweep further down with each stroke to graze the base of him as he slid in and out of her. He leaned back, watching her motions with wide eyes. 

     “ _Fuck_ , Rey. Keep doing that.” He groaned. 

     She picked up the pace, rubbing furious circles into her center as the build of pressure picked up to the point of breaking. With one last sweep of her fingers, she began to spasm around him, her inner walls squeezing him like a fist. Kylo yelped, jerking sporadically and she felt him twitch inside her. He gripped her tightly, gasping into her skin as came. 

     When he’d stilled, she placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling his mouth to hers for a soft kiss. The feel of his wide, plush mouth against hers was something akin to nirvana. His mouth was made for kissing. She wound her arms around his neck, bracing herself as he slid out of her and allowed her to fall softly on her feet to the floor. 

     “We didn’t even make it to the bed.” Rey giggled. 

     “Mm, sorry about that. I just started thinking about you leaving and..” He trailed off.

     “Don’t be sorry.. I liked it.” She admitted. “It’s pretty.. it’s pretty hot when you want me that badly.”

     “I think I’m  _always_  going want you that badly, Rey.” He laughed. “That’s the problem.” 

     She smiled softly up at him, shaking her head. She was beginning to know the feeling. She stopped to pick up her shorts, taking the backpack Kylo had dropped to the floor during their hurried entrance and digging out her bra and underwear. 

     She padded to the bathroom to clean up and put her clothes back on while Kylo made to start gathering her things up for her. “Where’s your bag?” He yelled through the bathroom door.

     “I left it by the bed!” She replied. She heard him shuffle away from the door, and she finished using the bathroom before quickly changing back into her normal clothes. When she exited the room, Kylo was zipping up her bag, having gathered up all her things. 

     “Thank you.” She told him.

     “It’s fine, are you ready to go?” He asked.

     “Well, _no_ , but since I have to...” She whined.

     He grinned. “I know what you mean, come on. Your friends are waiting downstairs with Cassian.”

     Kylo accompanied her back downstairs where Rose and Jyn were standing in the lobby. Cassian stood tersely off to the side,  looking slightly irritated. Then again, that seemed to just be his normal demeanor so Rey tried not to dwell on it. 

     “Hey guys,” Rey addressed them. “Find anything good today?”

     “Hell yeah we did, I’ll have to show you my haul later when we’re home. I found the cutest top in a little boutique.” Rose gushed. 

     Jyn shrugged. “I mostly just followed her around. I got a new barbell though for this.” She said, pointing at the piercing at her brow. “It glows in the dark.”

     Rey nodded in approval as Cassian strode up to take her bag from Kylo, then turning on his heel to take it to the car. Jyn and Rose followed after him, while Rey tarried behind, still not ready to leave him.

     “This weekend has been.. it’s just been perfect. Thank you.” She told him.

     He reached out to tuck a stray tendril of hair and sweep it behind her ear. “Hey, it’s just the first of many, Rey. I can promise you that.”

     She smiled widely, her heart full. Nodding back at him, he pulled her up for one more goodbye kiss. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his waist to pull him closer. When they broke apart, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and told her he’d talk to her soon. She grinned, nodding softly before turning away to leave. 

     No sooner had she turned away from him had he moved to swat her on the behind, causing her to yelp and shoot him an incredulous look. 

     “Just to remember me by.” He grinned wickedly. 

     She shook her head, laughing and muttering, “ _Terrible_.”, under her breath. She left him standing in the lobby, still grinning to herself as she joined the others in the car.

*

     Hours later, Rey was shuffling into her apartment and making her way to her bedroom to put up her things. The ride home had been quiet, each of the girls having had a long day and spending most of the drive napping. Cassian had once again left the partition up for the drive, leaving them to themselves for the entirety of the ride. He barely even said goodbye when he dropped her off, just offered her a curt nod from the driver’s seat. He really was pretty grumpy.

     She was brushing her teeth shortly after arriving home when she received a text message. 

      **Kylo: Make it home okay?**

**Rey: Safe and sound!**

**Kylo: Good. Check the inner pocket of your bag.**

**Rey:What did you do?**

**Kylo: :)**

     Rey ran from the bathroom, her curiosity bubbling out of her wondering what he’d left in her bag. She wrenched it open, digging for the zipper of the inner pocket and pulling out a small drawstring cloth pouch. She pulled it open, and turned it over to slide out a tiny beaded bracelet. 

     The beads looks to be made of smoothed sea glass, with the beads being mostly entirely pink, save for one black bead woven in. It was simple and exactly the sort of thing she would have picked out for herself. She slipped it on, the beads cool against the skin of her wrist, and held it out to admire it. She picked her phone back up, shooting Kylo a reply.

      **Rey: I love it. You’re so sneaky.**

     A picture came through, a closeup if Kylo’s wrist, showing that he’d bought himself a matching bracelet in the opposite style. Where hers was mostly pink, all of the beads of his were black save for one lone pink one. A text came through immediately following the picture. 

      **Kylo: Just something to remind you of me. When I saw this one it just made me think of that night when I first saw you. That one glimpse of pink in a sea of black. Then it had a matching one.. it just seemed right.**

**Rey: I love them. Thank you so much.**

     Rey was smiling so hard that her face  hurt. He was just always doing things that most would see as out of character for him, but she was learning that Kylo wasn’t afraid of the soft spot he had for her. 

      **Kylo: You’re welcome. :) Now get some sleep.**

**Rey: Okay, bossy.**

**Kylo: You like it. ;)**

     She rolled her eyes, laughing softly to herself. She would never tell him that he was completely right. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. They’re just too cute for words. 
> 
> That Kylo is turning into a sap isn’t he? A look at their ridiculous little [bracelets](https://www.google.com/search?q=pink+sea+glass+bracelet&start=100&client=safari&sa=N&hl=en-us&biw=414&bih=622&tbm=shop&prmd=sivn&srpd=9139080223538519357&ved=0ahUKEwiDisf_-b7bAhVRt1MKHeEcA4M4ZBCdQAgh&prds=cid:3024742525017279194,sgro:iv,mvi:0)!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for janeitesarah’s birthday, as she may be Pink’s biggest fan, (is smut an appropriate birthday present?), I feel like smut Oprah. “You get a porn! Annnnnd you get a porn!” Anyway, here’s a surprise dirty with a dash of plot Kylo mini to end your hump day. :*
> 
> Also: 700 KUDOS! You guys are my perverted little angels. I love you all so much.
> 
> P.S. Now don’t all of y’all go having birthdays now- I don’t have that many minis in me! XD

      Kylo tossed his phone aside, letting it fall to the down comforter as he placed an arm behind his head. Rey was home safe, and she’d found his surprise. He smiled to himself as he imagined her face when she pulled the tiny bracelet out from its hiding place. Glancing down at its mate on his wrist, he thought back to Hux’s reaction when he’d seen it down at the bar.

     “Dude, what the fuck is that?” Hux laughed around the rim of his rum and coke.

     Kylo grinned into his own drink, tipping the glass back to take a drink of the scotch. “Fuck off.” 

     “Shit man, you _really_  like this girl or something? I’ve never seen you this.. cheerful. It’s disgusting really. ” Hux laughed, dumbfounded.

     “Or something.” Kylo replied, a small smile etched onto his features. 

     “I mean, I’m thrilled for you, I am.” Hux started. “Just.. you _have_ to tell her. The longer you wait the more weirded out she’s going to be.”

  
     His brow furrowing, Kylo let a puff of air pass between his lips. “Fuck man, I  _know_ , trust me. I just don’t know how.”

     “Have you.. have you told her about your Dad?” He asked gently.

     Kylo shrugged noncommittally. “Just the bare minimum.”

     “That would be a good place to start. She seems really cool, and anyone with eyes can see she’s just as fucked up over you as you are her. I just don’t want this all to crash and burn for you man.” He said, tipping his drink towards him in solidarity.

     Kylo scrubbed a hand over his face, sighing. “You’re right. I know that. I’ll find a way to do it soon.. as soon as I find the right moment.”

     Hux nodded, satisfied for the moment. Kylo raised an eyebrow at him, deciding to turn the tables. “Speaking of crash and burn, what happened with you and Rey’s friend Rose?”

     Hux took a deep breath, blowing air between his lips in a sharp huff. “I don’t know man. We talked for hours at the bar. She’s so fucking funny. I liked her. Then we were going at it and it was fucking hot, but we were _so_ drunk.. she invited me up and it just.. it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want her to wake up tomorrow and regret it. Then she was a fucking ice queen this morning.. I guess I fucked up.”

     Kylo clapped his hand on Hux’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort his friend. “Hey man, you never know, she could come around.”

     Hux waved him off. “Na, I’m not even going to stress about it. I’ll probably never see her again. Besides, you’re the only motherfucker I know crazy enough to try and woo a girl smack dab in the middle of our batshit schedule.”

     Kylo laughed, shrugging lightly before finishing his drink. “Hey man, you don’t know what you’re missing.”

     Back to the present, Kylo stared at the ceiling, the nagging guilt eating at his insides.  Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as he was making it out to be. Maybe he would tell her and she would laugh about it. He doubted it, but it was possible. 

     He rolled from the bed, shuffling to the bathroom of the suite to brush his teeth. He propped a hand on the cool surface of the quartz counter, wetting the paste he’d applied to the brush and bringing it to his mouth. He was busily scrubbing his jaw teeth when he saw the flash of color kicked behind the bathroom door. Curious, he walked over and pulled the door farther from the wall to inspect more closely.

     Bending down, he let his toothbrush hang from his mouth as he stopped to pick up the scrap of fabric from the floor. Fuck. Rey’s motherfucking pink bikini. She must have left it by accident after she changed back into her clothes. He clutched the stretchy material in his hand and brought it to his face to inhale deeply, feeling like a creep for doing so.

      _Shit_. It still smelled like her. She’d been wearing these while they’d.. Christ. Abandoning his dignity, he pressed the tiny string bottoms to his nose and breathed in the lingering scent of her arousal. His eyes practically rolled back in his head as the action had him remembering her breathy moans in his ear as he’d fucked her. 

     He chucked his toothbrush onto the counter, rinsing his mouth with water as it rushed from the spout. He spit the excess, grabbing a tiny bottle of hotel lotion from beside the sink and taking the handful of pink material with him as he returned to the bedroom and fell back into the plushy comforter of the bed. Eyeing the tempting scraps in his hand, he had a brief inner conflict over the morality of what he was considering. He was a full grown man, and yet here he was, half hard from just the _smell_ of her.

     Casting off the last bit of his shame, he hastily pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside as he shoved the thin material of his dark cotton pajama pants down from his strong thighs and let them bunch around his knees. He almost never bothered with underwear, the stuff made him feel like his junk was wrapped up in a scarf that wouldn’t let them breathe. 

     His cock sprang forward, rapidly going from a semi to a full blown hard on as he recalled the feeling of sinking into Rey over and over again. He squirted a generous amount of lotion into his palm and wrapped his large hand around the base of his throbbing erection, squeezing slightly before sliding it up the length in a slow, torturous drag. 

     He brought the bikini to his nose, pressing it roughly against his nostrils and inhaling deeply. He closed his eyes, hearing her soft voice whispering to him. 

_“So good.”_

     He let his palm slide over this head of his cock, pressing a thumb into its opening and smearing the bead of precum that had gathered there.

_“Harder.”_

     He roughly jerked his hand down his length, returning back up to grip the head in a fisted grip.

_“Move, Kylo. I need you.”_

     He thrust his hips into his fisted palm, fucking it as he would Rey, wishing more than anything it was her tight, warm, pussy fisting him rather than his hand. 

_“I’m so close.”_

     He groaned into the pink material, her scent filling his nostrils as her voice took over his mind. Blood rushed in his ears as he recalled  a chorus of soft moans and strangled pleas. He saw her move over him, _under_  him, his cock disappearing into her warmth as she breathed his name. He was so close, he felt his balls drawing up in pleasure as the head of his cock turned an angry shade of red, begging to find release. 

_“No one has ever made me this wet before, Kylo. Just you.”_

     His hips jerked spastically as hot cum shot out him, painting his stomach like the remnants of a dirty crime scene. He let his spent cock lay thickly against his skin, breathing rapidly as he came down from the high of his orgasm. He opened his eyes  languidly, Rey’s bikini bottoms still pressed against his nostrils. He could _live_  off her scent alone. 

     He lay her suit bottoms on the comforter, the bright pink material glaring at him in accusation. What was he, fourteen? He grabbed his shirt that he’d cast aside, using it to clean up the evidence of his horny escapade from his stomach. He threw it aside, kicking off his pants before adding them to the pile on the floor.  Nude, he leaned across the bedside table, shutting off the lamp as he pulled the comforter over himself.

     He lie awake in the dark for a very long time, thinking back on the events of this weekend and grinning contently into the empty space. No one was there to hear it, but just before Kylo fell asleep he breathed, “What are you _doing_ to me, Rey?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE I’m not going to string you along forever with what Kylo’s hiding.. but it’s just not time. It’s a nice trade off- I didn’t make you endure slow burn smut, but you have to endure slow burn backstory. Hehe.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fri-YAY!

     “..and that’s it!” The doctor told her, wiping the injection site on her hip with an alcohol swab. “Now, you said on the phone you started your period two days ago?”

     Rey nodded back at the small, elderly woman who was at least a foot shorter than Rey. Her hair was wrapped in a colorful scarf, and tiny, beaded chains dangled from the stems of her glasses. Rey sat on the paper covering of the exam table, chewing idly on her thumbnail as she replied. “Yes, Tuesday morning. The nurse told me to go ahead and come in since I was already on my cycle.”

     Dr. Kanata smiled, the tiny lines of her eyes crinkling behind her oversized glasses. “Yes, yes, in order for the Depo-Provera to be immediately effective against pregnancy, you have to administer it within the first five days of starting your period. Otherwise you’d have needed to wait at least seven days... how often do you have sex?”

     Rey turned crimson, not expecting the question. “Well... I haven’t been sexually active in _months_ until... recently.”

     “Ah,” the Doctor replies knowingly. “A new relationship? I remember what it was like to be young.”

     Rey was sure her face had to have caught on fire by now, the tiny woman practically giggling at her modesty at this point.

     “Well, the shot is over ninety-nine percent effective against pregnancy if administered properly and on time. You should have absolutely nothing to worry about.” She smiled kindly. “Your initial pap looks just fine, but we’ll call you if we find anything abnormal in your lab results. I don’t foresee any issues though, just make sure to schedule a follow up appointment for three months for the next installment of your birth control.”

     “Okay, thank you so much for working me in.” Rey said gratefully.

     Dr. Kanata waved her off, telling her it was no trouble at all. Rey told her goodbye and left the exam room, stopping by the receptionist’s desk before leaving to schedule her next appointment as instructed. When she walked through the wide double doors of the office building, she pulled her phone out of her purse to dial Rose. She put it to her ear, taking off down the bustling sidewalk as people passed her on either side, going about their day.

     Rose picked up on the second ring, chirping out a quick hello before grilling Rey about her appointment. “So? Baby factory shut down?”

     Rey rolled her eyes. “Apparently. That process was so _invasive_.”

     Rose laughed at Rey’s wary tone. “Rey it’s a Pap smear. Welcome to womanhood.”

     “Be quiet. I’ve never had any use for one before.” Rey grumbled. “The doctor was really nice though.”

     “Oh yeah, Maz is so cool. She and my parents have been friends for years. She’s hysterical when she’s drunk- thinks she’s a damn fortune teller.” She shared, causing Rey to snicker.

     “I could totally see it. I’m just surprised she worked me in so fast.” Rey mused.

     “Probably heard the eagerness in your voice. My little baby is all grown up and becoming a slut.” Rose snarked.

     “Whatever.” Rey laughed. “You don’t Kylo will think I’m being... forward?”

     “Rey,” Rose chuckled amusedly. “I’m pretty sure that Kylo won’t be able to think _anything_ once you tell him. Except maybe about boning you without a condom.”

     “Really? You think he’s thought about it?” Rey asked curiously.

     “ _Rey_... he’s a guy. He’s definitely thought about it. Especially since apparently you two fuck like rabbits.” Rose said suggestively.

     Rey shushed her embarrassedly, causing Rose to only laugh harder. “I swear, you’re just the most adorable thing on the planet.”

     Rey rolled her eyes, grumbling. “Yeah, yeah.”

     “Have you talked to him today?” Rose asked.

     “A little this morning. They’ve been so busy this week wrapping up the tour.” Rey sighed.

     “When will he be done?” She pressed.

     “His last show is tomorrow night... but it will be so late he won’t come in till Saturday.” Rey sighed.

     “So... don’t expect any calls from you this weekend I presume?” Rose teased.

     Rey smiled into the phone, not able to deny what Rose was suggesting. She even found herself hoping that were true. Jenna help her, maybe she _was_ becoming a slut. “I’m sure you’ll hear from me at some point.”

     Rose guffawed. “Yeah, sure. Be hard to speak between mouthfuls of-”

     “Don’t you dare.” Rey cut her off. “I swear you’re such a...”

     Rey stopped chastising Rose, distracted by the display she’d passed on a newsstand set up outside. “Rose, let me call you right back.”

     “Okay? Weirdo.” Rose vexed. “Call me later.”

     Rey hung up the phone, sliding it in her purse absentmindedly as she hustled to the front of the stand, grabbing the tabloid with shaking hands. The words, “ **PUNK’S PINK PRINCESS SPOTTED** ”, were plastered across the top of the magazine’s face, and there on the cover was Rey’s scantily clad form, her pink bikini a beacon to the eye as she leaned into Kylo’s grinning figure. They were standing in the surf of Solana Beach, and it was obvious that Kylo was just about to kiss her. She was smiling softly up at him, her eyes crinkled in delight. Although her face was turned to the side, Rey had no trouble recognizing herself.

     Her heart racing, she felt herself flood with mortification. The idea of someone photographing them had seemed like a distant possibility, something that couldn’t actually happen on a spontaneous trip that no one would think to look for them on. She quickly turned to the counter, laying the tabloid face down and training her eyes to its back cover as she threw some money down to pay for it. The clerk handed over her change, giving her a curious look as he inspected her.

     “Hey, are you-”

     “Thank you.” Rey cut him off politely, grabbing the magazine and shuffling away quickly.

     She didn’t stop her quick pace until she was safely inside her apartment, falling into her couch and cracking open the pages to find the covers accompanying article.

      _The internet has been abuzz with all of the sudden changes instilled in our own favorite bad boy of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren. He has seemed to have found a newfound obsession with all things pink, even going so far as to cover Aerosmith’s hit song of the same name at their San Diego show last Saturday. Everyone has been speculating what might have the Prince of Punk so stuck ever since he brightened up his signature suspenders at their Anaheim show last week. Thanks to a reader submitted photo, we may finally have a clue to Kylo’s new kink. The lucky mystery woman, who we have yet to gain a name for, was spotted in Solana Beach this weekend canoodling with Kylo, sporting his favorite color. Has Kylo been tickled pink? We hope to have more on this story soon!_

     Rey groaned in embarrassment. The tiny bikini left all of her on display for the world to see. How could she have not thought about the fact that someone might have recognized him and taken his picture? She was so wrapped up in spending time with him that the fact that he was one of the biggest stars on the planet right now had completely slipped her mind.

     She unlocked her phone, checking the time. It was just after six, her earlier appointment with Dr. Kanata having been the last session of the day as she’d agreed to see her after she got off from her job on campus. Kylo would surely be busy now rehearsing, but she still found herself pulling up his contact information. She needed to hear his voice or she would go insane. She quickly hit the call button, the selfie they’d taken at the beach filling her screen as she heard a dial tone ring through the speaker.

     She pressed the phone to her ear, whispering to herself aloud as she begged Kylo to pick up.

     “Hey, baby.” His warm voice flooding her speaker and momentarily soothing her inner panic.

     “ _Kylo_.” She squeaked.

     “What’s wrong?” She heard commotion on his end as he shuffled away from the sounds of instruments being played to seek a quieter spot.

     “Have you seen the article?” She choked out.

     “Article? No, I... what article? Where did you see it?” He asked, concerned.

     “ _On the front cover of a magazine_.” She gasped, moments away from hysterics. “I’m half naked, Kylo. _Everyone_ can see me.”

     He groaned. “Fuck, Rey... I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful. Do they have your name?”

     “No, they don’t know who I am, but Kylo, this is obviously me in this picture. Anyone who knows me will know.” She whined.

     “Rey,” he cooed. “Calm down. I know this seems crazy, but you recognize you because it’s _you_. People who see that photo would never put you in it unless they knew you were there. Okay? It might not be as bad as you think it is. Don’t work yourself into a panic.”

     She took a deep breath, quelling her nerves. She released the air she was holding in a shaky breath, telling herself to be calm. “Okay, _okay_ , that makes sense. I’m sorry, Kylo. I’m being crazy.”

     “Hey, don’t apologize. It’s okay to be a little batshit over something like that. It freaked me out the first time too.” He consoled.

     “I didn’t mean to bother you at rehearsal.” She said quietly.

     “Stop. You’ll _never_ bother me. Okay?” He asked firmly.

     “Okay.” She agreed.

     “We’ll figure it out. I’ll talk to my agent about keeping your name out of the press. I’ll do everything I can.” He promised.

     “Thank you. Seriously.” She sighed.

     “ _Fuck_ , I really miss you.” He groaned.

     “I miss you too...” She replied softly.

     “It’s even harder to be away from you after everything this weekend.” Kylo murmured.

     “I know,” she agreed. “thank God I had work this week or I’d have went crazy.”

     “Almost over though.” He replied happily. “One more show tomorrow night and I can finally make use of that pretty mouth again.”

     “ _Kylo_.” She giggled. “You’re terrible.”

     “I’m just talking about kissing you, Rey. What are you thinking? Is your mind in the gutter?” He teased.

     “If it is, you put it there.” She chided.

     “Mm. You’ll find no apologies this way, baby.” He laughed.

     Kylo’s easy flirtation and calm reassurance were almost enough to make Rey feel somewhat normal again. Her flaring anxiety had ebbed to a smoldering ember, not gone but definitely more easily managed. Just hearing his voice over the phone made her feel like everything would turn out okay. He talked with her as long as he could, Rey laughing as she heard his band mates pulling him away and threatening to hide his phone again. It was only when he finally agreed to hang up, leaving Rey in the silence of her apartment, did the thought that her picture was plastered on the front of trash magazine for all the world to see come creeping back into her mind, lingering like a shadow. She toyed idly with the tiny bracelet at her wrist, smiley softly. It was times like this where she missed Leia’s near motherly guidance. It had been too long since they’d last talked. She’d been so busy with finals and then the whirlwind of everything that was Kylo... needless to say she needed to make a point to call her. Tomorrow, maybe.

     She didn’t have long to mull though- as her phone started going off in a barrage of texts...

      **Rose: OMG. REY! HAVE YOU SEEN IT?**

**Rose: DON’T FREAK OUT IF YOU HAVE.**

**Rose: WE’RE COMING OVER.**

**Jyn: I’m coming too. I’ll keep her from foaming at the mouth. Don’t worry.**

     Rey sighed. Well this was going to be interesting.

*

     Jyn held the magazine in her hands, shaking her head at the cover. The three girls were spread around Rey’s tiny living room, Jyn perched on the corner of the couch with Rose as Rey sat against it on the floor. “Hey, at least your ass looks _fantastic_ from this view.”

     She flipped it around, showing it once more to Rose and Rey and wiggling her eyebrows. Rey laughed, grateful to her friends for rushing over to save her from falling into an anxious mess.

     “I don’t think it’s that bad, Rey.” Rose started. “You can barely tell it’s you.”

     Rey’s mouth went into a tight line. “It’s _obviously_ me, Rose.”

     “Who gives a fuck really?” Jyn cut in. “So you, what’s that word they used...” She paused to flip to the article. “ _Canoodled_ on a beach with a hot rock star. You should be owning that shit.”

     Rey chewed on her lip. Jyn did have a point, but still, she could never just be _okay_ with the fact that she was half naked for all the world to see. It’s just not who she was. “I know, I just can’t help feeling like I should have been more careful.”

     Rose scoffed. “You had an amazing weekend Rey, don’t let this silly shit bother you.”

     “You’re right. I know that. I just can’t help being worked up over it.” Rey sighed.

     “I know, you wouldn’t be the Rey I know and love if you weren’t overthinking every single thing that happened.” Rose laughed.

     Rey groaned, unable to even begin to contest that. “It’s a curse.” She sighed. “I’m so glad you guys are here. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

     Rose shrugged. “I know. Mom and Dad have just been going insane with trying to help me find an apartment. They insist on driving me to every showing so they can offer their opinions.” Rolling her eyes, she added, “I tried to explain to them that I’m getting my own apartment to have some personal space, but the concept seems to be foreign.”

     Jyn nodded. “It’s been crazy busy at the shop this week too. I’d moved a few appointments I had over the weekend to the beginning of the week and I definitely paid for it on Monday. Last night was the first time I actually closed on time since last Friday.”

     Rey tried to look contrite. “I’m sorry, did you at least have a good time?”

     Jyn waved her off. “Don’t even sweat it. I had a blast. Totally worth the shitshow at work.”

     Rose gave Jyn a sly look. “I _still_ can’t believe after all that chasing you didn’t even seal the deal with Kylo’s grumpy assistant.”

     Rey perked up. “Yes! When I saw him follow you to the bar I thought for sure you’d won him over.”

     Jyn grinned wickedly. “Oh no, I definitely did.”

     Rey and Rose shared a confused look. “You did what?” Rey asked.

     “I definitely fucked the Sour Patch.” She shrugged.

     “WHAT?” Rose shouted, to which Rey immediately shushed her.

     “But,” Rey cut in. “At breakfast you said you passed out alone. You said nothing happened.”

     Jyn sighed. “I know what I said. He’s... complicated. He wants me, but he doesn’t _want_ to want me. I just saved him from some unnecessary embarrassment.”

     “The fuck?” Rose outraged. “He shouldn’t be embarrassed of you. What a fucking prick.”

     “Calm down tiger,” Jyn chuckled. “I didn’t mean embarrassed of _me_ , I rocked his little sour world.” She wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before continuing. “For whatever reason though, Cassian has a real problem with intimacy. That much I can tell. So, I’m just biding my time.”

     “Intimacy? Is he... can he not...?” Rose trailed off, making a crude motion with her hand.

     Jyn laughed out loud. “No you psycho. I just mean he doesn’t want to let people in. The man has no problem with fucking, _boy_ does he have no problem. I was completely right about that sweet center. I’ve had a bite and I’m just biding my time until I can get another taste.”

     Rose sighed dramatically. “All of my friends are getting laid but me.”

     Jyn patted her shoulder in mock comfort. “Your cock in shining armor is out there. Don’t fret.”

     Rose shoved Jyn, laughing at her ridiculousness. Jyn bounced back from the attack, turning her head slightly before looking at Rose curiously. “So I take it you never heard back from the ginger then?”

     “How could I?” Rose scoffed. “I never got his number. Too busy with my tongue down his throat like a slut.”

     Rey winced. Rose was obviously still very much wounded by Hux’s rejection. “Hey... forget about him. He’s just a dumb boy. You’re amazing Rose. Don’t let some guy get you down.”

     Rose smiled widely at Rey, waving a hand in front of her face to shoo away any lingering moodiness. “Already forgotten. I probably won’t have to see him again until your wedding anyway, and by then I’ll have a hot, rich boyfriend to rub in his face.”

     Rey blushed. “ _Rose_ , we’ve been dating for less than two weeks.”

     Rose threw her hands up. “Mark my words. I’m calling it.”

     Rey grinned, raising her eyes to the ceiling in defeat. Jyn was giving her an, “I’m sorry our friend is so crazy.”, look from the couch, which made Rey burst into a fit of giggles. She really loved her friends.

     The girls stayed over for a while longer, talking about their upcoming weekend plans, Rey’s last day of work tomorrow, and even graduation that was just around the corner. It was after ten when they finally shuffled out of Rey’s front door, leaving her to herself to ready for bed. Thanks to the animated evening with her friends, paired with her short talk with Kylo earlier, the whole magazine incident had been reduced to just a silly inconvenience. Kylo was right, it was highly unlikely anyone would see her side profile and automatically assume it was her. There was no need to get worked up over it.

     When she crawled into bed later after finishing her nightly rituals, she shot Kylo a goodnight text, telling him she hoped his show had went well and that she hoped she’d get to talk to him tomorrow during his down time. She’d no sooner put the phone on the charger before a buzz sounded from the bedside table. She snatched it up, the bright light of the screen blaring to life in the darkness of her room.

  **Kylo: Do you feel better?**

**Rey: I do. Jyn and Rose came by, they just left a little bit ago.**

**Kylo: Good. I’m glad you had fun.**

**Rey: In all the excitement I forgot to tell you... I got a surprise for you today.**

**Kylo: I’m intrigued.**

**Rey: ;) You’ll just have to wait and see.**

**Kylo: You’re killing me here.**

**Rey: :) You’ll be fine. I’ll see you soon.**

**Kylo: Not soon enough.**

**Rey: I know. I’m going to bed now. Maybe I’ll dream about you.**

**Kylo: Hope it’s dirty.**

**Rey: Terrible.**

**Kylo: ;) Goodnight.**

     Rey smiled softly in the dark, putting her phone back to rest on the charger and turning into her pillow. She tucked both arms beneath it, letting the softness envelop her face as she closed her eyes. Her day had been an exciting one, from birth control to beach fiasco. She couldn’t remember her life ever being this exciting. She felt the heaviness of sleep creeping over her, and the last thought that languidly floated across her mind before drifting off was, “What are you _doing_ to me Kylo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A surprise indeed... I wonder how that will come to a head? Ehehe. Come to a head. Pun. 
> 
> I’m sick. XD


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leias, and Finns and Kylos, oh my!

     Friday afternoon at the campus bookstore proved to be dull goings. Rey had only seen three students come in since she’d been here, so she’d spent most of her morning reading behind the counter. She was glad to have woken up this morning to find her cycle was over, cramps at work had been no fun. She had been afraid she’d still be on it when Kylo came back tomorrow; that would have been torture for the both of them after waiting an entire week to see each other.

     Kylo had found a free moment during her lunch hour to call, and she’d spend most of the hour listening to him tell her all about Phasma’s current bouts of torture. Apparently she’d called the front desk the previous evening and requested a special wake up call for Kylo for five in the morning. He’d started his day to a cheerful rendition of “Happy Birthday” from the elderly man who attended the lobby.

     Rey smiled remembering how Kylo had grumbled, already plotting how he might get her back. They were probably worse than siblings. She turned the page of her book, quietly absorbing the story of the two star crossed lovers. She didn’t normally read this type of book, but Rose had insisted that the couple had made her cry and demanded that she read it. She had to admit that it had totally reeled her in, a story of a man and woman who’d met on the anniversary of her accident and shared a deep connection during their first date- only to be separated that same night due to her being set to move to another state. They agreed to meet once a year on the anniversary of their first meeting, with no contact in between.

      It was a beautiful story, but what Rose had failed to mention was there were _detailed_ sex scenes depicted in the book. Rey had not been prepared for it, her last having been Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, and found herself blushing as the author described the moment the man pushed inside the woman. Rey felt a blush creeping up her neck, reading the woman’s perspective of how good it felt. Her mind strayed from the pages in front of her and instead of imagining the fictional couple making love, her thoughts wandered to her time with Kylo.

     She missed him so much that she didn’t even know what to make of the feelings she was experiencing. She had never felt this sort of connection to someone. They fit like they were _made_ to fit. It wasn’t just his incredible... _talents_ , the ones that made her heated and needy in a way that she’d never felt before, it was just _him_. Being with someone of his social status should be work, but so far, it had been as easy as _breathing_.

     She closed her eyes and leaned back against the concrete wall that lay behind her chair at the counter. She fell into her memories, conjuring up the recollection of the first time he’d touched her.

      _His large hand lay against the flat of her stomach, pressing lightly before it danced across the sensitive skin, his fingertips rough with callouses, searing a path that caused the muscles in her stomach to clench. He pressed a soft kiss below her navel, the scruff on his jaw tickling the quivering flesh there._

_Those same lips fluttering against the silken skin of her thigh, the warmth of his plush mouth leaving a heat that seeped through the surface and left a mark beneath the flesh. The collision of teeth against skin, that sharp contrast to the wet of his tongue that followed._

_His heated breath covering her most sensitive place, flushing the naked skin and causing arousal to pool between her parted thighs. His low voice rumbling over her, his words drowned out by the blood rushing in her ears. Then finally, his wicked tongue darting out, parting her, consuming her, until there were nothing left of her to give._

     Rey was jolted from her fevered daydreams by the sharp sound of the bell above the door to the store, her breath slightly labored from the feelings her memories had elicited. She quickly collected herself, steadying her breathing and calming her heart rate. She stood upright behind the counter, ready to help whoever had walked in.

     Her happy demeanor immediately dampened when she saw who had walked in. What was he doing here? He _never_  came into the bookstore.

     “Hey, Rey.” Finn said cheerfully.

     “Hi.” She said evenly. “I’ve never seen you in here before.”

     “Yeah, well, never really had a need to.” He drawled. “Since you won’t return my texts I thought I’d come find you.”

     “Or you could have just taken the hint.” She said irritably.

     “Rey, are you seriously just going to be mad at me forever? It was a stupid drunken night. I’m practically groveling with you to just move on.” He groaned.

     “Look, Finn, I’m not even mad at you anymore. I don’t care enough about you to be mad if I’m being one hundred percent honest.” She said coolly. “I wasn’t lying to you when I said I was seeing someone. You need to respect that.”

     He rolled his eyes. “The mystery man you won’t talk about? Sure, okay. I know when I’m being ducked out on.”

     She sighed in frustration. “Are you done? If you don’t have something to buy maybe you should just go.”

     His brow furrowed, his lips a tight line. He shook his head slightly, his voice resigned when he next spoke. “Fine, Rey. When you’re done being silly I’d _really_ like for you to call me. I miss you...”

     Her face scrunched up in distaste. “I don’t miss you.”

     He almost looked sad for a moment before his features morphed into their normal cheerful arrangement. “Okay, fine. I’ll leave. Just think about it, okay?”

     He turned and left through the door, leaving her frustrated. He just couldn’t take a _hint_. She wished more than anything she could just tell people about Kylo. Not that Kylo had asked her not to, but she knew to do so would just bring them complications that she didn’t want right now. She wanted to enjoy her time with him out of the spotlight for as long as she could. She’d had enough of a panic attack over the vague photo of her that had winded up in the magazine. She couldn’t imagine going through that on a daily basis.

     Would that be her life if she and Kylo stayed together? Constantly under scrutiny of the public eye? She couldn’t believe she’d never thought about it before. What would that mean for her? Could she still have a career? It made her head hurt thinking about it. However, the thought of _not_ staying with Kylo made her _heart_ hurt. She sighed, shaking away her inner turmoil and returning to work.

     When she left hours later, wishing the manager a happy Summer, she once again thought of Ms. Organa. Leia’s voice would be a welcome constant amidst all the chaos in her life right now. She stopped at her favorite coffee shop on her way home, Chalmun’s, and bought herself a large cup of caffeinated pick-me-up before settling into a secluded corner booth. She loved this shop, they always had live music playing which Rey found charming. Today was no different, a mismatched band were set up on a small, raised stage playing a jaunty jazz-type tune. She pulled out her phone, tapping her feet to the blow of the horns as she pulled up Leia’s contact information and dialed her up.

     “Hey, stranger.” Leia’s throaty voice called through the speaker.

     “Leia! I’m so sorry I haven’t called in a couple of weeks.” Rey apologized.

      “Honey, what did I tell you about all those ‘sorrys’? I know you’ve been busy. I’m just glad you haven’t forgotten about your poor old teacher.” She laughed.

     “Never. How have you been?” Rey asked.

     “Mm, good as I can be. Got the kids through their nine weeks tests without too much drama.” She said happily. “What about you? How were your finals?”

     “Went off without a hitch. All set to graduate in a couple of weeks. Are you still coming? Rose’s parents are having a little party afterwards at their house.” Rey reminded her.

     “Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Leia said excitedly.

     “Good.” Rey sighed. “I miss you.”

     “What’s wrong?” Leia asked her, concerned.

     “What do you mean?” Rey replied nervously.

     “Honey, I’ve known you since you were in braces. I know when something’s bothering you. Tell me about it.” Leia chided.

     Rey blew out an exasperated breath. “I met a guy.”

     Leia whistled. “Oh boy. That'll do it. So what’s the problem?”

     “Don’t get me wrong, he’s _wonderful_.” Rey assured her.

     “But?” Leia pressed.

     “I don’t know, Leia. It just feels like it shouldn’t be this easy. It scares me how much I like him. Something is bound to go wrong.” Rey lamented.

     “Rey Jackson. Stop that nonsense right now. What did I tell you about working yourself up into a tizzy over things that haven’t even happened? You can’t doom things to fail without giving them a chance.” Leia chastised.

     “I _know_ , Leia. I just don’t want him to realize that he could do so much better than a nobody like me.” She sighed.

     “Stop that right now. You’re kind, you’re smart, you’re _beautiful_ , and if for some reason this boy couldn’t be smart enough to realize that then he’s a walnut who doesn’t deserve you anyway.” Leia said forcefully.

     Rey began to laugh, covering her mouth with her hand before Leia continued. “Take it from someone who’s lost everyone that’s important to them because of their own mistakes... you have to hold on to a good thing with everything you’ve got.” She said listlessly.

     Rey’s laugh died on her lips as her breath hitched. Leia _never_ talked about her family. It was the unwritten rule Rey had learned very early on in their relationship. She’d removed all of their pictures and she never spoke their names. Whatever had happened surrounding Leia’s divorce had hurt her beyond repair.

     “Leia, I...” Rey started, but Leia cut her off.

     “Don’t mind me, I’m just being a Debbie downer. The point is, you have to enjoy life while life is happening, Rey. Don’t get fixated on what _might_ happen and just appreciate what _is_ happening. Okay?” Leia said lovingly.

     Rey smiled softly, Leia always knew what to say to make her feel better. “You’re right. You’re always right.”

     “Hmph. Don’t you forget it either.” She chuckled. “So, you going to bring this boy around for me to meet?”

     Rey hummed. “Maybe, eventually. It’s still just so new right now.”

     “I get it, I won’t press. I’m sure I’ll meet him at your graduation shindig anyhow.” Leia pointed out.

     “Hopefully! Assuming he’s still around.” Rey sighed.

     “Rey...” Leia started.

     “I know, I know. Stop being neurotic. Got it.” Rey acquiesced.

     “Good girl. I’ve got to get off here. I’ve got a meeting tonight. You don’t be a stranger now, okay?” She said.

     “I won’t. I’ll talk to you soon, Leia.” Rey smiled.

     They said their goodbyes and Rey hung up the phone. She decided to sit for awhile longer, finishing her coffee as she bobbed her head to the music. While she sat she pulled out her phone once again and opened Kylo’s text thread. He’d be going into sound check soon, but she wanted to send him a little something to let him know she was thinking about him.

     She held the phone out in front of her, snapping a photo of her smiling as she held her coffee. She sent it, adding a flirty caption.

      **Rey: Making due with coffee to keep me awake, since you aren’t around. :)**

     A response came through only minutes later.

      **Kylo: Someone’s feeling frisky. I love the picture, feel free to wear less in the next one you send.**

     Rey blushed. He always seemed to one up her at flirting. Another text came through before she could respond.

      **Kylo: This tour can’t end fast enough.**

**Rey: Enjoy the show! I’ll be here when you’re done. :)**

**Kylo: Oh I know. It’s all I’ve thought about.**

**Rey: When will you be here tomorrow?**

**Kylo: As soon as I can, Hux can’t be bothered to get out of bed before noon.**

**Rey: Okay. Where are you staying?**

**Kylo: About that...**

**Rey: ?**

**Kylo: I could get a hotel... or.... I could cut out the middle man and just hang at your place.**

     Rey choked on her coffee. Kylo in her space? For three weeks? He would see her at her worst. He’d see her without makeup, he’d see her when she first woke up, he’d see her in her ratty lounge clothes when she was being lazy. Still... _Kylo_ in her _space_ for _three_ weeks. The thought was enough to make her dizzy. She could see him as much as she wanted to. Was it too soon to do something like this? He obviously didn’t think so. Another text broke her inner conflict.

      **Kylo: If that weirds you out Rey it won’t hurt my feelings.**

     She took a deep breath, telling her to be that brave girl and take what she wanted. As Leia said, enjoy life while life was happening.

      **Rey: No, stay with me. I would love that.**

**Kylo: I promise to make it worth your while. ;)**

**Rey: Oh you’d better. It’s going to be a torture hanging out with you that much after all.**

**Kylo: Oh, is that so?**

**Rey: Mhm. I don’t even know how I’ll get by.**

**Kylo: You’re being bad. Are you turning the tables on me?**

**Rey: Trying to. :)**

**Kylo: I like bad Rey. I’ll be making use of her.**

**Rey: Still terrible.**

**Kylo: Still like it. :)**

     He told her then that the others needed him, and assured her he’d see her as soon as he could. He promised to call her in the morning, since the show was expected to run late and he knew she would probably already be in bed by the time it was over. She texted him goodbye, gathering her things and deciding it was time to go home.

     It was much later when Rey lay in her bed, reconsidering what she was about to do. She knew Kylo had been joking when he’d teased her about sending a more risqué photo, but she’d been thinking about it ever since. She’d never sent one before, and just the thought of it had her incredibly nervous. She sat on the edge of her bed, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and underwear, contemplative and unsure. She didn’t even know how to begin to be sexy.

     She’d been rifling through an old Victoria’s Secret catalogue for the past hour, trying to decide how best to pose herself. She really liked the ones where the girl was laying on her stomach, the camera angled behind her over her shoulder. She pulled her t-shirt over her head, the cool air of her bedroom brushing across her bare breasts and causing her nipples to harden.

     She rolled over across the comforter, laying on her front and letting her legs dangle in the air behind her. She was wearing her best pink lace underwear, the very same pair she’d worn when Kylo first came over. She checked her appearance in the phone’s camera, tousling her hair into what she thought might be considered prettily mussed.

     Propping up on her elbows, she let the camera catch just a hint of bare shoulder, angling behind her. From this view she could see the smooth expanse of her back, which met the lacy form of her ass, her legs suspended and crossed at the ankles. She snapped several photos, studying them for a long time before choosing one she liked.

     Her stomach was in knots, wondering how Kylo would react if she sent it. It wasn’t terribly racy, and Rey had to admit she looked pretty good in it. He obviously liked the way she looked... there was no reason to be so silly about his. Surely he’d enjoy it, right? Unless he thought she was being too forward. Maybe he liked the fact that she was so shy. Maybe doing this would break the illusion.

     “ _Stop_.” She told herself aloud. She was being ridiculous again. Kylo was a man, and there’s no way he wouldn’t enjoy a sexy photo from someone he obviously enjoyed being with, based on his enthusiasm from the previous weekend. She quickly attached the photo to a message, sending it to him quickly before she could lose her nerve. She typed a follow up text and sent it just after.

      **Rey: Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. ;)**

     She pulled her t-shirt back over her head, putting her phone on the charger and climbing under the covers before she went crazy with nerves. He wouldn’t see it until long after she was in bed, and that thought comforted her somehow. She closed her eyes, willing herself to stop worrying about it and go to sleep.

*

     Rey woke to the sounds of frantic knocking at her door. She groggily reached for her phone, checking the time. It was just after two in the morning. Who in the hell could be at her door at this hour? Rey swore, telling herself if Rose had been locked out of her parents again after drinking too much she was going to let her sleep on the porch.

     She sleepily padded through her apartment, flipping on the kitchen light as she peeked through the peephole to see who was beating on her door. She gasped, rearing back to remove the chain and wrench the door open.

     “ _Kylo_?” She asked incredulously.

     He stood on her porch, wearing skinny jeans of a dark violet, his normal combat boots haphazardly on his feet, the straps not even completely done. His chest was rising and falling rapidly beneath his black tank top, the movement stirring the pink suspenders, as if he’d ran all the way up her stairs.

     “What are you-” Rey started, unable to finish her sentence because Kylo pushed into her apartment, kissing her fiercely before kicking the door shut behind him. He was barely able to reach behind him and turn the bolt lock, his mouth frantically possessing hers. Rey’s head swam, unable to catch her breath and not caring in the slightest.

     He broke apart from her, pulling her tightly to him and murmuring against her mouth. “You think I could wait until tomorrow after a picture like _that_?”

     Rey smiled into his lips, a small laugh escaping her. “So you liked it?”

     He pressed his hips sharply into hers, the hard length of him evident though the material of his jeans. “ _That’s_ been there since I opened it. Pretty awkward for Cassian when I made him give me the keys to the Maybach.”

     “How will the others get back?” Rey asked, concerned.

     “Rent another car. I just had to _get_ here.” He groaned, pulling her back to him to kiss her again. His hands wound into her hair, angling her to let his mouth assault hers more thoroughly. He hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around him as he carried her to the bedroom. He dropped her on top of the comforter, her t-shirt riding up and exposing her underwear and much of her stomach.

      Kylo let out a shaky breath, fingering the edge of her panties and hooking his finger into the hem. “As much as I love these, I need you naked. I need to be inside you right _now_.”

     Rey’s chest heaved, her heart racing at the crippling need she heard in his voice. He roughly pulled her shirt over her head, an appreciative grunt escaping him at the sight of her bare breasts. Wasting no time, he pulled her underwear down and over her hips, tossing them aside onto the floor. When she was naked, he immediately set to work on following suit. Rey whimpered slightly when he pulled his suspenders off, and found herself breathing heavily when he pulled the tank over his head, the action revealing the hard muscles of his stomach. He quickly chucked off his boots, letting his pants follow. His cock sprang forward, painfully hard and jutting out, begging for release.

     Rey felt wanton for her physical reaction to the sight of his erection. Her mouth falling open and her eyes going wide. He was just so _big_. He bent, rifling through the pockets of his jeans and producing a foil packet. Oh, she hadn’t told him yet.

     “You um, you don’t need that.” She said quietly.

     He stopped moving, looking at her curiously.

     “I... I went to the doctor yesterday and got the Depo shot. I was on my period when I got it... so she assures me it’s immediately effective. So... if you wanted to... we don’t _have_ to use a condom.” She stammered.

     Kylo immediately tensed, the tiny foil packet clenched in his fist. She grew wary, afraid that she had been too forward. She didn’t want him to think she was some sort of slut.

     “You went to the doctor?” He asked, his voice low and even.

     She laughed nervously. “Yeah... yeah, I did. Surprise?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn Oprah giveth, and Porn Oprah taketh away. Gives you something to anticipate. Don’t worry, it’ll be worth it. Maybe, unless it’s shit. Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Accept apologize profusely. Sigh.   
> 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...did you really think I was going to make you wait till Wednesday? Come on guys, this is me we’re talking about.  
> 

   

* * *

 

  “ _Surprise_?”

      Every ounce of blood flowing through Kylo’s body had veered irrevocably off course and had flooded straight to his cock. Had he heard her right?

      “You... you got on birth control?” He choked.

      “Yes, I mean, no pressure! I didn’t mean to seem like I was saying you shouldn’t use a condom if you don’t want to... I just thought... I just got a clean bill of health, so assuming you’re okay...” She  was stammering again. She always engaged in word vomit when she was nervous. Normally, Kylo found it fucking adorable but all he could think right now was, _Why the fuck aren’t I inside her?_

     He felt his chest heaving between them and his throat was dry enough to strike a match. She was speaking still, her words not registering against the constant stream of, “ _BirthControlBirthControlBirthControl_ ”, playing on repeat inside his head.

     “I get tested every six months and haven’t been with anyone since before my last test.” The words fell from his mouth in a rush, slurring together before falling in a pile at her feet. The drip of implication on them a physical thing that hung between them with a heaviness that had them both breathing harder than before. He slowly dropped the condom, feet feeling like lead as he dipped a knee onto the bed before stalking over her. He stared down into her wide eyes, loving how shy she looked. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, his eyes darting to the sight of her teeth indented into the soft flesh. Blood rushed in his ears, and he lowered himself between her legs, parting them.

     “Okay,” she started shyly. “So do you-”

     Kylo slid into her in one swift motion, causing her to cry out and him to grunt loudly. “ _Fuck_. Rey- I’m sorry I-” He groaned, unable to finish his sentence. This was too much. _She_  was too much. She whimpered and the sound echoed in his ears, the only thing keeping him tethered to the Earth. 

     He felt her small hands slide over the hard planes of his chest, continuing up to his neck. She let the pads of her thumbs trace the shell of his ear, grazing across his gauges and making him shiver. Her fingers laced behind his head and she pulled him to her mouth. Rey’s mouth reminded Kylo of Tennessee Honey, smooth, sweet and enough to make his head swim. Kissing her was like falling into the ocean- deep, quiet, _vast_... tumbling beneath the swells and trying not to drown against their current. 

     When his tongue moved over hers, she sighed into his mouth, the inner muscles of her pussy clenching around him. The feeling, the _warmth_ , of it all was overwhelming. Kylo shuddered against her, the need to move overcoming him. 

     “Rey, I think I...” He let the words he didn’t know how to say hang between them, feeling too much to think straight.

     “It’s okay, _move_. I need you to move.” She tucked her face into the bend of his neck, misunderstanding.

     He didn’t have time to correct her, she moved her hips, sliding against him and causing his eyes to flutter. Sensation took over, her skin flush with his, his cock enveloped in her warmth as she wrapped her legs around him to dig her heels into the hard muscles of his ass.

     Kylo pulled out slowly, feeling every inch of her slide against his cock as he left only the head at her entrance. He pushed forward at the same pace, reveling in the feel of her without any restrictions. She was better than he could have ever imagined. She was _perfect_. He leaned back to watch himself slide in and out of her, obsessed with the way that she stretched to accommodate his length. 

     Her nails dug into the skin of his hips, breaking the spell he was under. “Kylo... _move_.”

     He growled low in his chest, her needy tone fuel to a fire that spread throughout him and consumed him. He snapped his hips forward, her eyes flying wide at the force before rolling back and her mouth parting. He reared back quickly, surging forward again, causing her to elicit a breathy moan. He picked up the pace, grasping her hips to pull her down onto his cock again and again. He felt his balls drawing up tight, his orgasm already just over the horizon. It was like he was fucking teenager again, unable to maintain a steady pace for the slick, wet heat of the beautiful girl underneath him. There was no way he could last like this. It was so _much_.

     “I won’t last.” He hissed between gritted teeth. His thrusts were now rapid and sloppy, pounding into her with everything he had as his cock threatened to explode. 

     “ _Come_. I need you to come. _Please_ , Kylo.” She mewled. 

     She dug her heels in, pressing him to her as close as he could be and bearing down on his cock with the tight inner walls of her pussy. Kylo let out a guttural cry, coming harder than he ever had in his life. It spilled out of him, filling her, _claiming_  her, marking her as his. He felt like an animal in his need to mark her as his own. Rey would _never_  do this with anyone else. Never again. 

     No sooner had he emptied himself and his orgasm subsided, he slid out of her quickly, causing her to gasp. He wasted no time falling between her legs, sliding his tongue between her slick folds and lapping at her warmth. The taste of him seeped out of her, and he groaned into her wetness from the hedonistic knowledge that he’d just been there. 

     His tongue laved over the taut bud of her clit, causing her thighs to clench around his head. He felt her hands wind into his hair, greedily pressing his face further into her clit to seek more of her pleasure. He obliged, sucking on the tight bundle with all the force he possessed, curling his tongue around it to drive her further over the edge. 

     Her thighs were shaking, the sensation of his mouth too much for her. He reached  between them, pressing two fingers into her, curling upwards to seek the ridged flesh inside. When the pads of his fingers found the raised patch there, he pressed into it, rubbing tight circles. Rey’s back bowed from the bed, pressing her trembling pussy further into the assault of his mouth. 

     Relentlessly he attacked, tongue wild and fingers insatiable. He heard her breath coming out in frantic pants, and he knew she was close. Emboldened, he brought his other hand beneath her, pressing a thumb against the puckered flesh of her most intimate place. Her eyes flew open, gasping for breath and shouting, “ _Kylo_!”, as she came wildly, shaking and coming undone.

     He lapped up every drop of her orgasm, wrenching every bit of pleasure he could from her before releasing her. She lay flush against the dark rose comforter, a goddess in a sea of pink. Her eyes had fluttered closed while he was catching his breath above her, and he crawled up and over her to press a kiss to her forehead. She sighed softly against the contact, turning her head to nuzzle into the skin of his neck. 

     She was already drifting off to sleep, her breathing growing even. He couldn’t blame her, it _was_ the middle of the night. He reached underneath her, pulling the blankets from beneath to bring them up over them both. He pulled her into his side, feeling the steady rise of her chest against him as he traced her spine with his fingertip. 

     In the darkness of her room, surrounded by her soft sighs of sleep, he quietly spoke the words he was still too afraid to say. He just hoped that when she finally heard them, the way he felt about her would be enough to make all his secrets seem less detrimental to their relationship. After tonight, he couldn’t deny the fact that was glaring at him straight in the face. He was _so_ fucked for this girl.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Shoutout to [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongforjonsa/pseuds/asongforjonsa) for the stunning moodboard! You’re too sweet to me. I don’t deserve it. *sobs*  
> Chapter 15 of her WIP, [I Seek My Freedom in the Moonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027364) is out! :) Show love! <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>        Rey woke to an empty bed, grasping the space beside her and finding Kylo missing. She lifted her head, scanning the room to see where he’d gone. She didn’t hear any sounds in the apartment, and she started to worry. Where did he go? She rolled, enjoying the delicious soreness of her well used muscles, and reached for her phone on her bedside table.

 

      **Rey: Not very gentlemanly, loving and leaving me. :(**

**Kylo: Fuck, I thought I could get back before you woke up. I’m getting breakfast. You’ll need fuel.**

 

      Rey blushed at the implication. She was going to have to start working out if she was going to keep up with Kylo, the man was insatiable. 

 

**Rey: Did you take my key?**

**Kylo: Yeah, that okay?**

**Rey: Perfectly fine. If we’re going to be shacking up I’d better let you borrow my spare. ;)**

**Kylo: So domestic... why does that turn me on?**

**Rey: Everything turns you on.**

**Kylo: Everything about you. ;)**

**Rey: Hurry back cheeseball, bed’s getting cold.**

**Kylo: You’re killing me.**

 

      She giggled softly, deciding to use her moment of alone time to freshen up before he returned. She peeled herself from beneath the covers, reluctant to leave their warmth. Crossing the hall, she stopped at the bathroom counter to quickly brush her teeth. She felt a small thrill seeing his own toothbrush resting on her counter, he’d at least had enough sense to bring a bag when he’d come. Seeing his things mixed with hers in her space made her oddly happy. 

 

      She took a good look at her naked form as she worked the brush over her teeth, noting the faint marks resulting from Kylo’s hands and teeth. The sight of them sparked a rush of heat beneath her skin, remembering how possessed he’d been last night. 

 

      Her body had never felt so thoroughly _used_ before. Every muscle she possessed had been pushed to its limit, and there was a faint throbbing between her legs that was a constant reminder that Kylo had been there hours before. She smiled around her toothbrush, remembering how he’d pounded on her door. No gesture could make her feel more wanted. 

 

      The next few weeks loomed before her, and she was giddy with excitement at the prospect of being able to see him freely whenever she wanted. She just wanted to _know_  him, everything that he could possible tell her. She wanted to be the person that knew him better than anyone. Was that normal for such a new relationship? Surely, that was the thrill of it after all, discovering everything there was to know.

 

      She rinsed her mouth, putting her toothbrush back in its holder before reaching between the shower curtains to turn on the hot water. She stood naked outside the shower, waiting for the water to reach the right temperature and hanging herself a towel on the rack. Satisfied with the water, she hopped under the spray and let it slide over her hair, closing her eyes as the warm rivulets cascaded over her sore muscles. 

 

     Grabbing her rose scented shampoo, she dispensed a generous amount into her palm, working it into the roots and scrubbing it through to the ends. She used her nails to scratch her scalp, humming at the pleasant sensation. When her hair was fully saturated to her satisfaction, she pushed her head beneath the spray and let the water rinse it clean. 

 

     “Need any help?” 

 

     Rey almost jumped out of her skin. She hadn’t heard Kylo return, and when she opened her eyes and wiped away the water there she found him at the edge of the shower, propped against the wall and peeking around the curtain. She instinctively made to cover herself, scowling at him. “You scared the shit out of me!”

 

     He laughed, the bastard. “I’m sorry. I really wasn’t _trying_  to be a creep... but I heard the shower running and I started thinking about you in here naked and well... my body made it in here on its own.”

 

     She narrowed her eyes at him. “Sure it did.”

 

     “So you’re saying that’s a no to wanting to some company?” He smirked.

 

     Rey bit her bottom lip, stuck between embarrassment and intrigue at the thought of naked, wet Kylo in her shower. She gave him a slight nod, causing him to grin giddily before disappearing behind the curtain. She heard shuffling outside of the shower as he shed himself of his clothes in record time, returning momentarily to hop underneath the water with her. 

 

     She would never get tired of seeing him undressed. The pale skin of his broad chest was eye level, him being so impossible tall. She let a finger trace the precariously placed beauty marks across his skin, smoothing her palm over his chest before running it up and over his strong shoulders. He stay still, letting her explore without interrupting. 

 

     She squeezed the hard muscle of his bicep, enjoying the firmness and the fact that she couldn’t reach a hand around it. She moved her hand to trail across the rigid expanse of his abdomen, her fingers skimming over the definition there. Kylo clenched his stomach, closing his eyes as he focused on the sensation of her fingers against his skin. 

 

     She slightly traced the prominence of his hip bone, letting her thumbs press into the hollow there. His hips jerked involuntarily, his cock twitching heavily between his legs. She eyed it, impressive even when not fully erect. Swallowing hard, glancing up to gauge his reaction, she saw his eyes were now open and staring at her intensely. He was looking at her like she hung the moon, and it made her feel braver than she was.

 

     Still peeking up at him beneath her lashes, she tentatively reached out to take him in her hand, causing him to hiss out a deep breath. She wrapped her hand around his hardening length, a tingle fluttering in her belly. Sliding her hand forward, she let the warm water aid her in dragging her fingers softly up the silken skin underneath. 

 

     Kylo’s eyes were glued to her hand, his eyes wide and the pupils dilated to near full, causing them to look black. His chest was rising and falling heavily, his breath coming out in sharp huffs. When she let her fingers dance just below the sensitive head, he thrust into her hands instinctively and let out a low moan. 

 

     “You’re going to be the death of me.” He rasped.

 

     She smiled up at him, the effect she had on him a heady and powerful feeling. It gave her confidence she’d never felt before. Now painfully hard, she ran a thumb over the slit of his head, smearing the beaded precum that had leaked there. 

 

     “ _Ahh, Rey_.” He moaned, losing his control and grasping her hips to press her flush against him. Their slick bodies melding together, Rey felt the heaviness of his erection pressed against her belly and she rubbed against it brazenly. Kylo hummed low in his chest, wrapping a wide hand around the back of her head to bring her to his mouth. The water poured down over his head as he bent to kiss her, the droplets sliding down his hair and running over both of their faces. 

 

     His tongue caressed hers possessively, swirling around her mouth and stealing her breath. Every time Kylo kissed her it felt like he was starved for it, like he couldn’t get enough. It made Rey’s head swim, the knowledge that someone like _her_  could do that to someone like _him_. She reached around, digging her nails into the hard muscles of his ass to pull him closer to her. He groaned into her mouth, releasing it to bite her lip. He followed with a hard press of a kiss to her mouth, before leaning back and looking down at her. 

 

     “Wrap your arms around my neck.” He said roughly. She obliged, bringing them over his shoulders and winding them tightly behind his head. He reached beneath her, his large hands coming to rest under her thighs and swiftly pulled her up to his chest. She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, feeling him pressing against her entrance.

 

     “Hold on.” He growled, sliding into her easily. 

 

     Her mouth parted in a gasp, his cock stretching her to an overwhelming fullness. She had thought before that sex with Kylo was the pinnacle of pleasure. She couldn’t have ever imagined how much _better_  it was without the restriction of a condom. The feel of him with no barriers was nothing short of pure bliss. 

 

     Her eyes shut tightly, focusing on just the feel of their joined bodies. She tucked her face into the bend of his neck, tasting the skin with her tongue before pressing warm kisses to the pulse that beat there. Kylo groaned, tightening his hold on her thighs and backing her against the shower wall. He pulled hard, lifting her up before letting her bob back down onto him. 

 

     Rey’s head fell back against the shower wall, her eyes closed and mouth parted. She was unable to think clearly as he lifted her repeatedly, sliding his cock out almost completely before letting her slam back to the hilt. The warm water poured over them, adding to the flush of their bodies as the shower filled with the sounds of their collective gasps. Rey jerked forward, her forehead coming to rest against Kylo’s as he stared down at where they were joined. He did that a lot, seeing himself disappear into her seemed to turn him on even more.

 

     “Touch yourself.” He whispered hoarsely. “I need to feel you come around me.”

 

     She loosed one of her arms from around his neck, bringing it between them to slide her hand between her legs. She pressed her fingers into her throbbing clit, already sensitive from the friction of Kylo’s body slamming against her as he thrust. She quickly circled it, rubbing a furious pattern to speed up her impending orgasm. 

 

     Kylo grit his teeth, gripping her tighter as she felt him quicken his pace, obviously close. She pressed harder, working herself aggressively as she felt the pressure between her legs threatening to break. When she tumbled over the edge, her legs shook from the force of it, her inner walls squeezing Kylo as she spasmed. 

 

     Kylo quickly followed, holding her tightly to him as he came. She felt the thick heat of his cum filling her as he emptied himself inside her. They held like that for several moments, catching their breath. When he finally pulled out of her, she shuddered at the feel of him sliding out as he gently lowered her down to the shower floor. He pressed a firm kiss to her mouth, cupping her jaw with one hand as the other splayed against her lower back, pressing her into him. 

 

     “Every time I try to get clean with you, we just end up dirty.” Rey giggled.

 

     “ _So_  worth it.” Kylo grinned. “I probably need an actual shower after the show last night... but if you stay in here that’s definitely not happening.” 

 

     She smirked, knowing full well he was right. She backed under the spray, rinsing off before stepping out of the curtains and grabbing a towel from the rack to wrap it around herself. “You promised me food anyway.” 

 

     “It’s on the counter... probably cold now though.” He shrugged.

 

     “ _So_  worth it.” She parroted, causing him to smile wider. “Get clean, I need food.”

 

     She left him in the shower, crossing the hall to her room to pull on fresh clothes before padding to be kitchen to check out what he’d brought. “Breakfast” was actually a feast for at least six, consisting of pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs and toast. She didn’t even know where to start, Kylo had obviously went a little overboard. She crossed to her kitchen cabinets, pulling out a couple of plates and glasses and setting them on the counter by the bags of food. 

 

     She pulled out a pancake for herself, scooping a pile of eggs alongside it before adding a few slices of bacon. Her Norma breakfast usually consisted of granola or yogurt, not out of any sort of dieting regimen, but simply because she was often in a hurry; so the hearty change was more than welcome.

 

     She turned to the fridge, thinking that she had orange juice left from the other day, and was shocked to find the fridge was now brimming full with various grocery items. Confused, she shut the door, crossing to her other set of cabinets and opening them to find they were now full too. Did Kylo think she didn’t feed herself? She couldn’t fathom why he’d take it upon himself to stock her kitchen. 

 

     Resigning herself to ask him about it when he got out, she went back to the fridge to pour herself some juice, which she _definitely_ now had, and carry it and her plate to her table to eat. She tucked in unabashedly, moaning softly around her fork over the fluffy eggs. She ripped open a syrup packet she’d grabbed from the food bag, heaping a generous amount over the sweet cakes. 

 

     She’d finished half her plate by the time Kylo strutted in, wearing nothing but some loose cotton sleep pants. She was momentarily distracted by his naked chest, starting openly as she chewed. He grinned knowingly, winking at her before crossing to the food.

 

     “I take it that’s good?” He chuckled, noticing her almost empty plate.

 

She shrugged, blushing slightly over her voracious appetite. “I can’t help it, it’s _so_  good.”

 

     “I love that you actually eat. It’s annoying going to dinner with a girl and she sits across from you picking at a salad.” He said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

 

     “Well... you’re never in any danger of that from me.” She laughed. Remembering, she cocked an eyebrow at him. “So speaking of eating... what’s with the flood of groceries you bought? There’s enough food in my kitchen to feed a family of five for over a week.”

 

     He scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish as he fixed himself a plate. “I uh... didn’t want you to have any reason to leave this weekend.”

 

     She laughed loudly. “Are you planning to turn my home into some sort of sex dungeon?”

 

     He tapped a finger against his lips, forcing his features into a look of deep thought. “Sex dungeon... hmm. That’s a promising idea.”

 

     She shook with laughter, ducking her head so he couldn’t see her snorting into her food. “You’re so... _terrible_.” She snickered.

 

     He shrugged, smiling as he took a seat at the table opposite her. “You bring out the worst in me. Or maybe the best? Still too soon to tell I guess.”

 

     She shook her head, taking another bite of bacon. “I hope you know something about cooking. I think we’ve learned just how far my knowledge extends on the subject.”

 

     He grinned, taking a bite of eggs. “Yeah, I can cook. Sort of had to teach myself after...” he paused, frowning as he realized he’d steered the conversation somewhere he hadn’t wanted it to go. Clearing his throat he finished, “after my Dad died.”

 

     “Where was your Mom?” She asked gently, determined to get any piece of information out of him he would give. 

 

     “She and my Dad... split up. She didn’t live near us and... we weren’t really on speaking terms. Still aren’t.” He shrugged.

 

     “But... you said you were seventeen when he died? You just stayed by yourself after that?” She pressed.

 

     He chewed on the inside of his lip, obviously uncomfortable, but for the life of Rey she couldn’t imagine _why_. “I uh, stayed with family till I was eighteen.” He coughed. “My Dad left me the house so I moved back in after my birthday. I lived there until we were picked up by the band’s agency.”

 

     Rey gave him a thoughtful look. “It must have been tough, being on your own like that.”

 

     “Yeah... yeah it was.” He sighed. “Enough of my sob story, I don’t want to ruin our good day with my drama.”

 

     “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to press... I just, I want to know more about you.” She said sheepishly. 

 

     “Baby, don’t apologize. I’m just not used to talking about it. Just... just give me time. Okay?” He pleaded.

 

     She nodded, content to let him tell her everything about his apparently sad past at his own pace. 

 

     “Tell me all your favorites.” He said changing the subject. “All of them. Song, book, movie, ice cream- I want to know them all.”

 

      She cocked her head at the odd question, giving it some thought. “Hmm. My favorite flavor of ice cream is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. My favorite song is either “Brandy” by Looking Glass or “Africa” by Toto...” She paused, thinking. “If I _had_  to pick a favorite movie, I’d say it would have to be... _Armageddon_.” 

 

      He gave her a curious look. “Really?”

 

      She shrugged. “No clue. I just get so emotional at the end when Bruce takes Ben’s place to stay behind.”

 

      He laughed softly. “Wouldn’t have guessed. Continue.”

 

     “Hmm... my favorite book is a really obscure one. It’s an old science fiction novel by Jerry Pournelle called _Starswarm_.” She told him. He cocked his head, thinking, but obviously wasn’t aware of the book she was talking about. 

     “See,” she continued. “when I was about... twelve? My foster mom took me and two of the other kids to a little five and dime in town one Saturday. She let each of us pick out one thing to bring home. I found that book at the bottom of the clearance bin, well picked over like no one wanted it. The cover was this bright shade of purple and had a crazy looking squid type swallowing up a starship. It was so odd looking, I knew I had to have it. It’s the first thing I ever owned that was just _mine_. I read that book maybe fifty times while I lived there. I was devastated when I lost it in the move to my next home a couple years later.”

 

      His brow furrowed and he grabbed her hand across the table, letting his thumb trace over the skin. “I’m sorry, Rey. I wish I could have... I don’t know. Done something. It breaks my heart thinking about you being so alone.”

 

      “Don’t be silly. It was a long time ago. I survived. I probably would have turned out a lot different had it not been for Leia.” She shrugged. 

 

      Kylo paused, his thumb stopping its pattern it had been tracing across the back of her hand as he cleared his throat. Whatever had startled him he hid instantly, continuing to stroke her hand as he spoke back up. “Leia?”

 

      “Hmm?” She said, curious of his sudden change of mood. “Oh, she was my teacher back in middle school. I met her at the beginning of eighth grade. She sort of... I don’t know, took me under her wing? I spent a lot of time at her house for the rest of middle school. I moved districts before I entered high school, but I still visited her at least once a month. I took a bus.”

 

      He nodded thoughtfully. “Do you still... talk to her?”

 

      “Oh, yeah. Fairly regularly! I actually called her yesterday. I’d been meaning to for awhile but with finals and then, well, _you_ ,” she laughed before continuing. “I’d just gotten distracted.”

 

       “Ah, well I’m happy that you had someone around to support you.” He said quietly. “Did you tell her about me?”

 

      “Mm, just the basics. I didn’t give her your name or anything. Not that I think she’d run to the press! Just... want to stay in our little bubble for just a while longer.”

 

      He gave a slight nod. “Me too. Plenty of time to meet Leia.”

 

      “She’s great.” Rey smiled. “She would love you.”

 

      “Ah, I don’t know about that.” He said, his features even before he gave a slight shake of his head and smiled. “I _am_  totally stealing your virtue.”

 

     Rey giggled. “Hard to steal it when I’m just giving it away.”

 

     “Thank God for that.” He grinned wolfishly. “Speaking of...”

 

     “You’re kidding me.” She laughed. “What, are you really planning on shutting us up in the apartment all weekend like a den of sin?”

 

     He leaned back in his chair, smiling wickedly. “Baby, you have no idea.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Shameless visual aid. *drool*  
> Plot monster returns Friday!  
> ...with maybe a little smutnanigans.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 900 KUDOS? This chapter should have went up in the morning- but in true Oprah fashion I’m gifting early. It’s Friday somewhere right? 
> 
> I’m shit at moodboards- can we make moodgif’ing a thing?  
>   
>   
>   
> 

     “Where are you taking me?” Rey asked curiously.

     “It’s a surprise.” Kylo grinned.

     They’d been driving for over a half hour, and the signs of the city were dwindling as they entered a more remote area. Heavily wooded scenery flanked either side of the road, with dense foliage cropping up from the ground.

     It was just after eight on this early Monday morning, and Rey was still tired from having been kept up late the night before. She wasn’t complaining, this weekend had been... _perfect_. True to his word, Kylo hadn’t let her leave the apartment for the entire weekend, content to spend it cocooned in their own little world. They talked, they laughed, they relaxed... and the sex. Jenna help her Rey had been intimate more times than she could count this weekend. She woke up to morning romps and fell asleep spent from evening trysts- with plenty in between.

     Last night she’d made him watch Memoirs of a Geisha with her, to which he had been less than enthused, but when she explained she’d just read the book and had been dying to see the movie he bent to her will. He’d actually been pretty into it for the most part. It was only when he started suggesting that maybe they check into a geisha outfit for her that things got heated and they ended up in her bed. She wasn’t even sorry that she hadn’t caught the end. It would still be there.

     He squeezed her hand over the middle console of the Maybach, the spacious front cab a nice change from having only seen the back. “You’re not taking me out here to murder me are you?” She teased, eyeing the dense tree coverage they were driving into.

     He raised his eyebrows, seeming to consider it. “Well now that you’ve caught on...”

     Rey laughed, shaking her head. There was a large sign approaching on their side of the road that read, “Welcome to [Temescal Gateway Park](http://www.lamountains.com/parks.asp?parkid=58)”. She turned his way, a questioning look on her face. “You’re taking me to a park?”

     “Correction- I’m taking you hiking.” He told her.

     She scrunched up her nose, not completely sold on his choice of activities. “Hiking?”

     He shrugged. “You wanted to stay in the bubble. Can’t exactly hit the mall if that’s the case.” He added, laughing.

     Suddenly his strict instructions about her choice of dress for the day made sense. It had been a first to be asked to wear, “comfortable shoes”, on a date. This had been the first time Rey had seen Kylo wear shoes outside of his standard combat boots, she was beginning to think he didn’t own another pair. His black Nike’s were paired with matching black athletic shorts and a dark grey sleeveless shirt. She wondered absentmindedly if she would always be a little wistful when he would forego the suspenders. 

     She eyed the vintage microphone peeking out amidst a bouquet of roses marked upon his right arm, still surprised that his tattoos had such an effect on her. They’d never been a point of interest for Rey before, but on Kylo they made her heart race. Her Kylo study was interrupted by him suddenly turning off the road, heading down a winding trail towards the park’s entrance. 

     At the end of the drive a small communal area rested in an open space before the actual trails began, and Kylo parked in the designated area. He pulled a backpack from the trunk, where he stored their phones, water and food for the day. Rey hopped out of the car, stretching as she watched Kylo throw his hair into a messy bun and stuff a cap down on his head before putting on dark glasses. She cocked an eyebrow at his hairstyle, grinning. 

     “That’s cute.” She teased. 

     “Are you being bad?” He replied amusedly.

     She shrugged, turning away to take in the scenery. There were trees as far as her eyes could see beyond the visitors center, and somewhere nearby she heard the slow trickle of a stream. She couldn’t believe she’d never made it out this way. It was incredible.

     “You know what else is cute?” Kylo called from behind her. She turned, giving him a curious look over her shoulder. “Those pants.” He quipped. “Seriously, wear them whenever you want.”

     She eyed her black nylon yoga leggings, that were peeking out beneath her flowy pink tank, the one that Kylo has insisted she wear, and grinned at him while shaking her head. “Terrible.” She laughed. “So what’s the plan?”

     He pointed North of their position off into the trees. “I read there’s a waterfall just under a mile and a half that way. I want to see it.”

     “Lead the way, mountain man.” She crooned, holding her arms outstretched to motion him ahead. 

     He took her hand, pulling her along as he set them on the trail. It wasn’t terribly long before the sounds of people mulling around the visitor’s area faded, and all that was left was the sounds of various wildlife and of leaves crunching under their feet. 

     “So what made you want to come out here?” Rey asked.

     He shrugged. “I love it out here. It reminds me of home.”

     “Where is that exactly?” She pressed.

     “Crescent City. It’s less than ten minutes away from the giant redwoods of the State Park. My dad’s parents lived there until they died when I was a teenager. When I was little we would visit every Summer and I’d play in those woods every other day with my Grandpa.” He remembered fondly. 

     Rey soaked up the tidbits of information he was willing to depart with, careful not to press too hard but eager for more. “That sounds amazing. I’ve heard of the massive redwoods there... I’ve never been though.”

     “Maybe one day I can take you.” He said thoughtfully.

     She smiled, happy to be making even tentative plans with him for the future. “I’d like that.” She replied softly. 

     “Who was your first kiss?” He asked suddenly.

     She reeled, confused by the sudden question change. “That’s random.”

     “Just curious about all things Rey. Go on, spill.” He urged.

     She had to think about it for a little bit, the memory taking a few moments to surface. “Oh! His name was Owen. We were... eleven? He lived in the same foster home as me. I remember he had peanut butter on the corner of his mouth.” She wrinkled her nose at the memory. “Who was _your_  first kiss?”

     “You.” He said evenly.

     Rey gave him a confused look, taken aback. He quickly flashed a grin, laughing at her incredulous expression. “I’m kidding, Rey.” She smacked his arm in exasperation as he continued. “Her name was Katie. I was nine and she was ten.”

     “Oh, an older woman?” Rey wiggled her eyebrows. 

     “Jealous?” He asked, smirking.

     She shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

     He wrenched her arm suddenly, pulling her against him and planting a firm kiss against her mouth. “Better?”

     She smiled against his mouth. “Much.”

     He chuckled softly, lacing his fingers between hers as they continued walking down the brightly lit path. “So, graduation is coming up... have you thought about what comes next?”

     She sighed. “I haven’t even sent out my resume. I’ve been working so hard for this and now that it’s here... it’s like I’m not ready.”

     “I’m sure that’s normal, it’s scary starting something new.” He offered. 

     “Maybe... I’m just so afraid I’ll make a mistake, that I’ll mess everything up. I’m actually a little terrified to just, start.” She huffed.

     “Then don’t.” He said suddenly, pulling up his sunglasses and propping them on his hat to look at her.

     “What?” She asked, confused.

     His eyes widened, as if he’d just been struck with the most brilliant idea. “Don’t start. Take a year off. Come with me on the international tour.” He’d stopped walking, grasping her arms, practically bouncing with excitement.

     “What? That’s insane, Kylo.” She said, shaking her head.

     “Is it? You have your whole life to use your degree, it isn’t going anywhere. Being my exclusive groupie for the greater part of a year though...” he wiggles his eyebrows, causing her to laugh. “That opportunity doesn’t come around often.”

     She chewed on her lip. He was so excited but she was unsure. She couldn’t just drop her life and go live off Kylo’s generosity for a year. What if he finally wised up and decided he was tired of her? She’d be in God knows where, all on her own with no one to turn to.

      _Kylo wouldn’t do that to you._

     That brave girl inside her nagged at her to at least consider it. She had to admit it was tempting, all that time with Kylo always within reach, seeing new places, discovering new things with him for the first time? Still, she held back, unable to dive into such a huge decision.

     “I don’t know, Kylo. I don’t know if I would be comfortable having you support me for a year. As amazing as we are together, the fact remains that we practically just met. It’s too soon for that. Isn’t it?” She asked hesitantly.

     “Don’t overthink it, Rey.” He urged. “I’m not asking you to let me buy you a car or anything, just come with me. Just... _be_  with me. Please?” Underneath his excitement she sensed an almost pleading nature. Almost as if he _needed_ her to agree. She was who she was though, and who she was was not the type of person to dive headfirst into such a huge decision.

     “I’ll think about it.” She told him, trying to meet him halfway. “We have a little time before I have to decide... right?”

     He pouted exaggeratedly, sticking out his bottom lip and causing her to laugh. “Don’t think that’ll get you your way.”

     He sighed, knowing she had made up her mind for now. “I should have offered to buy you a car, huh.”

     She shoved him away, smiling wide at his silliness. “Where’s this waterfall you promised?” She asked, glancing around at the thick trees on either side of the trail. 

     He pulled his phone out of the backpack, bringing up the trail map on the park’s website. “Should be just a little further.” He looked up at her, his eyes taking on a playful gleam as he smiled wickedly. “Want to race? I’ll give you a head start.”

     “What happens if you catch me?” She asked teasingly.

     He winked back at her, shoving the phone back into the bag. “Nothing you wouldn’t live through. Better hurry now. Ten, nine...” he started to count as he shooed her along. 

     She bolted, running off in the opposite direction as fast as her feet could carry. She beamed as she ran, feeling like a kid again, as desperate to outrun him as she was thrilled at the thought of him catching her. His voice faded around four seconds, and she knew he would be fast on her heels. She veered at the bend ahead, turning in the appropriate direction marked by the sign she’d come across. She heard him call her name behind her, and she grinned as she picked up her pace. 

     The sound of running water was now apparent in the stillness of the outdoor air, Rey could hear it roaring as she approached, he sound growing louder as she came into view of the clearing. She paused, her feet slowing slightly as she took in the free falling water thundering over the cliff side and emptying into a clear pool of standing water below. 

     She heard the pounding of feet behind her, her moment of hesitation allowing Kylo to catch up to her suddenly. He threw his arms around her, picking her up at the waist and causing her to squeal.

     “Caught you.” He said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

     “Darn,” she replied in mock disappointment. “So what are you going to do with me?”

     “Hmm, I think I’d like to make you good and wet.” He teased, his voice dropping low and causing her to shudder. He slowly reached down, skirting a hand along the length of of her thigh as he pressed his nose along the length of her neck and inhaled deeply. Rey hummed low in her chest, his hand smoothing over the material of her leggings and reaching behind to grip her ass. 

     Before she could even process what was happening, Kylo jerked her up by the legs, pulling her into his arms and deftly tossing her into the pool of water ahead. She came up, sputtering and coughing. “ _Kylo_! You asshole!” She shouted, laughing despite herself. 

     He wasted no time in tossing the back pack slung over his shoulders to the ground, peeling his shirt over his head before removing his socks and shoes to add to the pile. He chucked his hat onto the ground as well, pulling the tie from his hairand letting it down as he dived in after her. 

     He broke the surface of the water much more gracefully than Rey, sliding his hands over his scalp to smooth down his wet hair. He grinned triumphantly at her, immensely pleased by his own prank. Rey grumpily reached under the water, peeling off her shoes and socks and throwing them in a pile on the bank.

     “Are we even supposed to be swimming?” Rey asked, glancing around at the open space of the clearing warily.

     “We’re fine.” He assured her. When she gave him a skeptical look he added, “I may have called ahead and bought out all the tickets to this tour block.. ensuring no one would be out here for awhile.”

     Rey giggled, shaking her head. “So terrible.”

     He grinned, wading over closer to her in the water. “So I’ve got you out here all alone. Now what?”

     “Mm, I don’t know. I’m still a little pissed you threw me into the water.” She said, rolling her eyes.

     “I had a good reason.” He promised.

     “What’s that exactly?” She smirked.

     “Exploring. Come on.” He turned, swimming off in the direction of the falls.

     She waded after him, kicking off into a full breast stroke when she could no longer touch the bottom. He stopped swimming just before the place where the falls tumbled into the water, the roar of the spray so loud she couldn’t actually hear what he was telling her to do. He pointed exaggeratedly at the pool’s surface, signaling her to go under before diving himself.

     She swam in the direction he’d gone, gliding through the water under the falls and coming up clear on the other side. He was waiting for her, having crawled up into the mouth of a rocky crevice, his hand outstretched to aid her in crawling out of the water. They were sitting in the mouth of a small cave, the reflection of the sun dancing off the surface of the water and casting a soft glow on the walls.

     She glanced around, the water still rushing over the entrance to their tiny cavern as Kylo shook his head, smattering liquid over the entirety of the immediate vicinity. “So?” He asked. “Worth it?”

     She eyed the hazy glow of the sun’s reflection sliding across his wet skin and nodded, smiling. “It’s definitely something.” She followed Kylo further into the tunnel, going far enough to be able to hear each other more clearly, but only just to the point where the light still pierced the darkness.

     Kylo stalked over to her, pulling her hips close and letting his fingertips trace her bare skin beneath the hem of her top. He leaned to speak directly into her ear so that she could hear it, his breath tickling the skin there. “So now that I’ve gotten you all wet...”

     “Kylo,” she replied, feigning shock. “Did you lure me out here for devious purposes?”

     “Well... you had been saying you needed some fresh air. Plus, we had run out of surfaces in your apartment.” He grinned.

     “That’s a lot of effort just for a change of scenery with me.” She teased.

     “Mm, baby I would do a lot more for a lot less with you.” He assured her. Gingerly, he lifted the sodden tank from her skin, pulling it up over her head. When she was free of it, he eyed her sternly saying, “Wouldn’t want you to catch cold.”

     She bit her lip to stifle a grin, the cool air kissing her skin and causing goosebumps to form. Her nipples pebbled underneath the thin material of her sports bra, glaringly obvious without the coverage of her tank. He traced a thumb over the pointed bud, rubbing it firmly before grasping it between his fingers in a light pinch.

     Rey’s mouth parted, eyes fluttering as his touch sent tiny shocks of pleasure across her skin. She reached out, letting her hands rest on the hard muscles of his waist as she toyed with the band of his shorts. They had slung low from the weight of the water, revealing the deep cut of his abdomen as it bled into sharp crease of his hips. From this angle she could see a dark thatch of hair just visible over the hem of his shorts, and she trailed the tips of her fingers along the edge of the material to brush against it. 

     “No underwear? Even today?” She said breathily. 

     He shook his head, grinning wickedly. She hooked a finger into the band, tugging gently, looking up at him with a questionable look. “I’d... I’d like to try _that_ again,” She told him suggestively. “But... you’ll have to help me. Tell me what to do.”

     His smile faltered as he swallowed visibly, her words washing over him and effecting him physically. His cock stirred between them, and she felt it twitch heavily against her thigh. 

     “ _Fuck_. I don’t- I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything sexier than what you just said, Rey. You don’t...” he swallowed again, blowing out a puff of air. “you don’t have to feel like you _need_  to do that.”

     She shook her head vehemently. “No. No I want to. Please, Kylo... I- I _want_ you in my mouth.” 

     He groaned loudly, the sound echoing against the stone walls they were cocooned in. His erection was a tangible thing now, warm and rigid against the tight material of her leggings. His shorts were straining to meet it, tenting against the thick member as his chest rose and fell heavily between them. He backed away from her, coming to rest against the wall of the cavern.

     “Come here.” He said evenly, bending a finger in a summoning motion. She closed the distance, her feet heavy and her heart pounding. Kylo traced a thumb under her jaw, pulling her in for a soft kiss. When he pulled away, he spoke against her mouth between ragged breaths. “Get on your knees.”

     She obeyed, sliding down his body and letting her knees rest on the stone floor. She peered up at him, her eyes wide with anticipation. Kylo fisted his hands at his side in an obvious attempt to allow her to do this on her own.

     “Are you sure?” Kylo asked.

     Rey nodded, so incredibly turned on by the intimacy of this situation that she couldn’t turn back now even if she wanted to. 

     “Take out my cock.” He rasped.

     She obliged, tugging at the band of his shorts and letting them rest against his thighs as she grasped his throbbing erection in her hand. Kylo jerked against her touch, digging his nails into the palms of his hands to keep from touching her. 

     “Squeeze the base.” He commanded, staring down at her with dark eyes. She squeezed gently, eliciting a hum from Kylo. “Harder.” He said lowly.

     She gripped him tighter, causing his eyes to close tightly as he struggled to keep his composure. “Good, that’s good.” He breathed as he once again stared down at her. “Use your tongue, drag it up the underside and then swipe it across the head.” 

     She leaned in, loosing her tongue and glancing up at him before pressing it firmly to the silken flesh of the underside of his cock, lapping a path up his length before cresting it over the thick head. She tasted him there, dewing out of the slit. He was salt and spice and _Kylo_  and the taste of him caused liquid heat to pool between her legs. 

     Kylo heaved above her, his eyes glossed over with the heat of his arousal. “ _Yes, baby_. Just like that.” He groaned. “Open your mouth.” 

     She opened, her tongue wide and waiting for whatever he would give her. He rested the head of his cock against the flat of her tongue, sliding it across the soft surface and pressing it past her teeth before withdrawing. He repeated the motion a few more times, not wanting to overwhelm her with the full length of him all at once. 

     Rey felt herself growing impatient with his careful use of her, and surprised him by wrapping her lips around the retreating length and sucking lightly. Kylo jerked instinctively, pressing into the warmth of her mouth deeply and moaning loudly. Empowered by his reaction, Rey bobbed forward, being careful to keep her throat relaxed so that she could fit as much of him as possible. 

     She still couldn’t reach all the way to the hilt, he was just too _big_. Instead, she once more wrapped a fist around the base, squeezing as he’d instructed her before and bobbing down to all she could manage, finding her rhythm. Kylo’s hands were white at his sides, the strain of not using his hands to pace her bearing down on him. Rey reached with her free hand to grasp his forearm, raking her nails down the skin there to wordlessly release him from his own imprisonment. 

     He thrust his hands into her damp tresses, gripping the crown of her head as if he would float away if he let go. He pressed only slightly against her, guiding her as she hollowed her cheeks and pushed her lips over his length over and over again. His eyes were shut tight now, his mouth parted as he lost himself in her. 

     Rey had never felt so powerful as she did now, which was incredible to her considering she was down on her knees. Seeing Kylo come undone from what _she_  was doing to him was enough to have her feeling like a _queen_. She pressed her lips harder into the flesh of his cock, sucking more forcefully than before. Kylo groaned deeply above her, his stomach clenching as his orgasm neared. She felt him jerk in her mouth, just at the edge of coming undone. 

     “Rey, _Rey_ I’m going to- you should-” He sputtered, trying to warn her as he attempted to pull her off of him. She reached behind him, pressing her hands into the skin of his thigh and holding him in place. There was no way she was stopping now. He moaned, his hips jerking wildly as hot liquid shot out of him, coating her tongue. She swallowed around him, the action causing him to shake against her mouth. 

     When he was spent, he slid out past her teeth, his drained cock falling heavily against his shorts. Rey smiled up at him, hedonistically proud of herself and how she’d made him lose control. Kylo stared down at her through heavily lidded eyes, looking at her like she was a goddess of his own personal religion. He reached out a hand, taking hers and pulling her to her feet to stand flush against him.

     He pressed a firm kiss to her mouth, sliding a hand down her spine in reverence. Pulling back, he said, “That was... that was incredible.”

     “So I passed?” She asked, smiling shyly.

     “Baby, you fucking taught the class.” He said shakily. 

     She purred against him, humming low in her chest in approval. “We uh,” he continued. “We have at least an hour before the next tour sets out from the entrance... I bet I could find a few ways to make it up to you in that time.” He told her, grinning wolfishly. 

     “Mm...” she hummed, already aroused and ready. “I’ll just bet you can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I inadvertently hyped you up to some sort of sex dungeon kink fest- sorry guys, Kylo was just kidding! Rey would never go for it. XD  
> Although... that cave was very softcore dungeonesque, no?  
> Here, to make it up to you, another shameless visual aid of my brain imagining Kylo chase after Rey. *drool*  
> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s still Friday. I still need to post. I’m still hopeless. Settle for this sappy Kylo mini.  
>   
> Happy Friday!

     “...are you even listening to me, man?” Hux complained, snapping his fingers in front of Kylo’s face to break him from his daydreaming.

     Kylo had in fact, _not_ been listening- his mind firmly planted in the memories of his and Rey’s outing yesterday. He’d be seeing her lips wrapped around his cock whenever he closed his eyes for the greater part of probably, _forever_. He’d fucked her from behind on the floor of that cave after, and _that_ memory had his dick twitching aggressively in his pants.

     “ _Hey_.” Hux urged again. “Earth to Sir Whipped A lot.”

     Kylo rolled his eyes. “Dude, I’m listening you jackass.”

     “I swear to God, you’re like a fucking pussy wrapped in a sappy romantic comedy.” Hux laughed.

     Kylo shrugged, smiling slightly and not even the slightest ashamed. “What the fuck ever man.” He laughed. “Let’s just get on with it.”

    “So you can get back to your shacked up sin den?” Hux smirked.

     Kylo tapped his temple in agreement. “Exactly.”

     Phasma strode in, wearing tight, red leather pants and a shredded black tank. A studded belt was slung over her hips haphazardly, and her wrists were covered in black rubber bracelets. Mitaka followed after her, quiet as usual. His black button down was unbuttoned to the chest, a black and white checkered tank peeking out from underneath. He too was wearing red pants, and the fact that they probably coordinated made Kylo gag a little.

     “Don’t you two look... _smart_.” Kylo teased.

     “Fuck off mate,” Phasma snorted. “I won’t be taking any shite from the wanker in pink suspenders.”

     Kylo laced a thumb underneath said accessory, snapping it against his chest before winking at her. She rolled her eyes, her husband smiling softly before weighing in.

     “Don’t mind my wife, she’s just... hormonal.” Mitaka grinned, eyeing Hux and Kylo. He placed a hand on her stomach and gave her a loving smile.

     Hux cocked his head to the side, confused. Kylo eyed the pair of them, it taking a few moments to catch Mitaka’s meaning.

     “ _No_ ,” Kylo gasped. “Really?”

     “We’re going full on _Invasion of the Bodysnatchers_ over here.” Phasma beamed.

     Hux scrunched up his nose. “What the fuck are you talking about? You going to the movies or something?”

     Mitaka chuckled. “Phasma’s pregnant.”

     Hux’s jaw hit the floor so hard the thud could have probably been heard across the street. He gestured wildly to Phasma’s stomach, waving aimlessly and trying to form words. “You- and him- and there- a baby?”

     Phasma nodded happily. “Going to need to adjust my set a bit after a while, don’t know if I’ll be able to hit the snare with a rounded middle.”

     Kylo stood, pulling the pair of them into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you guys. Seriously.  A _baby_. You going to name him after me?”

     “Shite name like Kylo?” She scrunched her face up in mock disgust. “I’d almost rather name him Harold after my Dad.”

     “Oh you’re one to talk shit about names, your mom pulled yours out of some weird alien smut.” Kylo snarked.

     “I told you that in _confidence_ , you bloody areshole!” Phasma sputtered.

     “You told me that when you were _drunk_. So it’s fair game.” Kylo snickered. 

     Hux, still reeling, perked up at the mention of alien porn. “Really? Sci-fi smut?”

     Phasma groaned, shooting Kylo a death glare. “I will be using you for the brunt of my pregnant wrath, count on it Ren.”

     Mitaka put a calming hand on his wife’s arm, eyeing the rest of them in his normal no nonsense way. Mitaka was the only reason shit got done around here. 

     “We’d better get in there and get this over with.” Mitaka told them. 

     Kylo sighed. He hated press conferences. His agent had insisted that it was good for the promotion of the upcoming international tour though, and insisted they go. They fell in a line, shuffling over to the door as they waited for Cassian to come get them. 

     “Where’s your girl today?” Phasma asked.

     “Home.” Kylo answered. 

     “ _Home_.” Phasma teased. “That sounds positively domestic.”

     Kylo grinned. “Fuck off. You don’t get to mother me now that there’s a bun in the oven.”

     She rubbed her stomach idly, the motion to no avail being as her stomach was still undoubtedly flat this early on. Kylo felt something twinge inside him as he watched her hand move over the flat of her belly. His mind drifted to what it might look like if _Rey_ were pregnant. He pictured her stomach, round and full with his kid. 

     The mental image was doing odd things to him. He’d _never_  thought about kids before. With all he’d been through in his own family... he’d always been sure he’d fuck the kid up somehow. Still, there was a weight in his chest that wouldn’t let up. He realized he _wanted_ that. _All_  of that. Not that he would tell Rey this, she’d run off screaming into the night. Maybe Hux was right, maybe he _was_  becoming a pussy. 

     Cassian poked his head through the door, waving them inside the small conference room and they filed in one after the other to take their seats at the panel. The flash of cameras set off relentlessly, but the four of them were used to it by now. 

     A thin man in a dark grey suit stood, opening up with the first question. “Where will you open the tour?”

     Hux leaned in, taking this one. “We’re starting out in Oslo, Norway. Doesn’t that one look like a Viking?” Hux grinned, hitching a thumb at Kylo.

     Kylo shook his head, leaning back against his chair. A middle aged woman in a navy blue pantsuit stood next, looking at Kylo. “You know we are all dying to know- who’s the girl?”

     Kylo grinned, idly tracing the clasp of his suspenders. “No one you know.”

     She pressed. “Would you say it’s serious?”

     “Fuck, I hope so.” Kylo laughed.

     A tiny blonde in a red blouse leaned forward in her chair, butting in. “Couldn’t you give us a name?”

     Kylo shrugged, throwing up his hands defensively. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

     “Surely you can give us something?” She urged. 

     “Hey,” Phasma cut in. “In more interesting news, I’m definitely pregnant.”

     A buzzing roar emitted from the room as questions flooded from every corner, the excitement of her news taking the heat off Kylo. He gave Phasma a grateful look, mouthing his thanks. She winked back at him before taking the vultures head on. 

     Later, when Kylo was gathering his things so that he could hurry and get home to Rey, he felt a buzz in his pocket signaling a text. 

**Rey: Rose wants to have a tiny party tomorrow night.**

     He quirked an eyebrow, intrigued.

      **Kylo: What kind of party?**

**Rose: She only said booze and board games. *groan* I know that probably sounds lame.**

**Kylo: Actually, that sounds fucking fun. Going to be hard to fit everyone in your apartment though, Phasma and Mitaka have a place here, would you be cool making it a group thing? I could ask her if we can move it there.**

**Rey: Sounds fun. :)**

**Kylo: Sweet. I’ll ask her. What are you doing?**

**Rey: Just waiting for you. :) I watched your interview, you looked pretty good up there. Oh, and Phasma is pregnant! That’s so exciting. I love babies.**

     Fuck. Kylo’s stomach was in knots again. Why was he so obsessed with domestication all of the sudden? 

      **Kylo: You do?**

**Rey: Who doesn’t? They’re so cute and squeezable.**

     A mental picture once more presented itself, Rey, asleep in his bed with a tiny bundle snuggled against her. It made his heart hurt. Fuck. He had to steer the conversation away from this before he said something to creep her the fuck out.

      **Kylo: You know what else is squeezable?**

**Rey: Don’t you dare. Terrible. Lol.**

**Kylo: :) Be home soon.**

**Rey: Can’t wait. ;)**

     He stashed his phone in his pocket, heading out of the building after Phasma and Mitaka with his mind full of things he had no business daydreaming about- but smiling none the less. For once in his life, he wasn’t dwelling on his past but instead thinking of his future. He just hoped to high hell that Rey would be in it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. Swoon. Sappy? So. Swoon.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snark, fluff, plot drop, smut... of course this one is a long one. *shrug*
> 
> Also- I made my first moodboard! Ayyye.  
> Pink, pink, and more pink.  
>   
> Bless me, Rizzo.

 

 

 

 

>    

 

 

      “Is this a house or a funeral home?” Rose asked in awe.

      The three girls stared out of the windows of the sleek, black car, gazing up the hill at the dark dwelling resting there.  

     “I bet they got this place for a sick deal seeing as the only other owners were the Addams Family.” Jyn commented offhandedly.

     Kylo laughed in the driver’s seat, shaking his head at them. “Phasma has... eclectic tastes. 

     Rey glanced over at him from the passenger seat. “What about her husband?”

     “I mean obviously he does too, he married Phasma didn’t he?” He grinned.

     “Better not let her hear you saying that.” Rey warned. 

     She peered back out her window at the large house just up the drive. The house had been erected entirely out of stone siding of black and grey, the effect giving it a medieval vibe. The roof was pitched high of stark white shingles, and upon each window there were a pair of onyx shudders. The only splash of color on the grounds were the various rose bushes clustered about the outside of he house, the scarlet coloring like blood spatters on the dark stone. Rey thought offhandedly that that was probably what Phasma had been going for.

     Kylo rubbed a thumb across the back of her hand idly, still holding it across the console as he pulled up the drive. Rey smiled down at it, the simple gesture becoming one of her favorites. She was learning he was full of moments like that; he was always surprising her. She thought back to his interview yesterday, how her heart had raced when he’d told the reporter that he’d hoped they were serious. She was still giddy from the high of hearing his words. She just wondered what they meant to him. What was serious to Kylo? Especially since they would be separated soon for so long. The distance they would have to endure loomed over her like a storm cloud, dark and grey and threatening to pour over her with dreary vigor. She shook her head, forcing herself not to dwell. Leia’s words had become a mantra for her. Don’t get fixated on what might happen and just appreciate what is happening. She repeated this in her mind, willing it to settle on her brain. 

     Kylo parked the car under the steepled awning of the front entrance, the girls piling out after it had come to rest and filing after him to the front door. He pressed the door bell, the notes of “The Munsters” theme ringing through the house, eliciting a sharp laugh from Jyn.

     “I wonder if they’ll adopt me.” She mused.

     Rey giggled at the wondrous expression on her face, she really was enamored with the whole place. Rose still looked unconvinced, her pert nose scrunched at the bridge as she eyed the iron skull knocker in the center of the heavy wooden door. Phasma answered the door seconds later, flashing their group a wide grin. 

     “‘Ello children. Welcome, welcome. Come in!” She beamed, ushering them inside. Rey took note of her tight plaid print leggings that were ripped up the sides stemming out of her bright green t-shirt dress. Phasma really seemed to like standing out.

     The entrance to the house found them standing on a thick plush rug that was as glaringly red as Jyn’s eyebrow ring. The group kicked off their shoes, leaving them by the door, and Rey scrunched her toes in the shag material under her feet pleasantly. Kylo led her inside behind the others, his hand at the small of her back, guiding her up the small step into the main living room.

     Jyn rushed to the edge of the entryway to gush over the antique suit of armor standing watch there, her mouth falling open like she’d struck gold. Phasma shuffled over beside her to tell her more about where they’d gotten it, and Jyn listened, enraptured by Phasma’s tale. Rey was starting to think Jyn wasn’t actually joking about wanting the couple to adopt her. 

     When she was finished recounting her story to Jyn, Mitaka had strolled into the large living room, wearing an old band t-shirt for the _Darksiders_ and some grey boot leg jeans. His short, cropped hair was damp as if he’d just showered, and he greeted them all warmly as he told them dinner was in the oven. 

     “Where’s Hux?” Kylo asked, giving Phasma a curious look.

     “Oh he’s... in the basement. He didn’t know if uh, if he was invited.” Phasma replied nervously, trying and failing not to cast a look towards Rose.

     Rose rolled her eyes dramatically, letting out a sharp huff of air. “We made out guys, I didn’t bear his love child. I can be a fucking adult if he can.” 

     The room fell awkwardly silent as everyone tried to look anywhere else but at Rose, and she groaned. “Point me to the fucking basement then, I’ll go make nice with the redhead.”

     Phasma laughed out loud, startling Rey and eliciting a grin from Kylo. “You’re a right spitfire there love, come on, I’ll lead you to the git in question. He’s been mooning about all day down there.”

     Phasma linked her arm through Rose’s, leading her out of the living room towards a wide door that Rey assumed led downstairs. Rey leaned towards Kylo, curious. “Why is Hux in their basement again...?”

     “He stays with them occasionally when he’s in town. Phasma and Mitaka are the only one’s of us that have figured out the whole, ‘adulting’ thing. Hux and I just live out of hotels otherwise.” He chuckled. 

     Rey’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You have all that money right, why not just buy your own house?”

     Kylo shrugged. “I travel so much I wouldn’t get to stay there often anyway, besides, I don’t like to stay in one place for too long.”

     Rey frowned, his choice of words dampening her mood. He must have noticed, because he pulled her hand to his mouth and pressed a quick kiss against the back. “Until recently that is.” He told her, smiling. 

     Rey couldn’t help but grin back at him, he always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. She noticed Jyn eyeing them, grinning with her trademark Cheshire smile. Rey rolled her eyes at her expression, knowing she wanted to say something that would make Rey blush. 

     “So is anyone... else coming?” Rey asked tentatively, giving Jyn a curious look.

     “Mm, no? Just us I think.” Kylo told her. “Who else were you expecting?” 

     “Oh I don’t know, I thought you might have invited Cassian...” Rey trailed off.

     Kylo arched an eyebrow. “Cassian? He never comes to hang out with us if he can help it. Dude wouldn’t know fun if it bit him in the ass. He’d probably rather...” he stopped himself, noticing the pointed look from Rey as she willed him to shut his mouth. It dawned on him then what Rey had really been asking, and he backtracked to pull his foot from his mouth. “I mean... I’m sure he’s just busy. He works very hard.” 

     “ _Guys_ ,” Jyn sighed. “I’m not some lovestruck teenager. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got Sour Patch under control.”

     Kylo snorted out a laugh. “Like, under control or... _under control?_ I have to tell you, I don’t like the mental image of a tied up Cassian.”

     Rey smacked Kylo’s arm, shushing him, but Jyn just laughed, giving Kylo a conspiratorial wink. “I’ll bet he could teach you a few things. He _is_ older and more experienced.”

     “My ass he could, Rey tell her about-” he started but Rey pinched him hard in the first area of flesh she could grasp, which just so happened to be the side of his chest. He gripped a hand over his heart in mock agony, scrunching up his face as he tried not to laugh. “ _Hey_! That’s my nipple. See, Jyn? She’s into kinky stuff too.”

     Rey groaned, wanting to murder the both of them. Phasma returned then, saving Rey from any further embarrassment. “I think the kids will be alright. We’ve made them hug and say they’re sorry, they’ll be up momentarily. Doph says the foods ready if you lot want to come set the table. I would but, I’m so pregnant, I shouldn’t be lifting things.”

     Kylo rolled his eyes. “You’re _barely_ pregnant, Momzilla. Is this how you’re going to be the whole time?”

     Phasma gave him a feigned look of innocence. “I don’t know what you mean dear, I’m just following the doctor’s orders.” She fluttered her eyelashes prettily, blowing him a kiss before flouncing off towards the kitchen. They moved to follow, Rey giggling quietly as she found herself falling more and more in girl love with Phasma.

     She leaned over to Kylo, curious about something Phasma had said. “Doph?” 

     “Mitaka is actually their surname,” Kylo explained. “but it’s what we’ve always called him. Well except for Phasma.” 

     “Why does everyone else call him by his last name?” Rey wondered. 

     “With a fucking name like Dopheld, can you blame them?” Kylo snickered.

     After setting the table, the group sat down to eat, having already been joined by Rose and Hux once more. The pair of them seemed to be in a friendlier mood, speaking to each other without an ounce of hostility. It was still slightly awkward feeling at times, but Rey noticed they were both making a conscious effort to be friends, which made Rey happy. They ate their dinner of Chicken Cacciatore in comfortable familiarity, sharing stories and laughter like they’d always been apart of each other’s lives. 

     Phasma told them the story of how her and Mitaka had met, a rousing tale featuring a bad internet date gone wrong. She’d mistaken him for the one who’d stood her up that night, him showing up to the bar she’d been waiting at for an hour wearing the same clothes the man had described and let him have it. He’d stood there taking her berating in polite silence before apologizing for the bastard who would dare stand _her_ up and then asking if he could buy her a drink. Phasma told them they’ve barely spent a day apart since. 

     The story made Rey swoon, she loved watching them together. They were totally made for each other and so obviously in love that it made Rey’s heart hurt a little. She found herself wondering if there would ever be a time when she and Kylo would be telling _their_ story to a group of people and someone would notice the same of them. The thought made her positively giddy.

     When they had finished eating, Phasma ordered Hux and Rose to clear the table as a further “time-out” session so as to strengthen their newfound amiability, which was met with collective grumbling from the pair of them. 

     The rest of the group left them to it, Phasma and Mitaka leading them into a large rec room downstairs. They had to wind down a heavy iron staircase, it twisting this way and that way as it descended. Rey landed on the ebony tile, the smooth surface cool underneath her feet. The basement was an adult’s playground, littered with various references to pop culture and grown up play things. Jyn squealed as she took in her surroundings, running about frantically to try and take it all in.

     Phasma followed behind her gleefully, nodding emphatically each time Jyn would ask, “Is that what I think it is?”

     They were gushing over an oversized velvet painting of Elvira when Kylo pulled Rey over to their fully stocked wet bar in the corner to make her a drink.

     He twirled a bottle garishly in his hands, nearly dropping it in his attempt to be impressive. Rey laughed at his antics as he defeatedly returned the bottle to the counter sighing. “What’ll it be miss?” He grinned.

     “Mm, surprise me? Nothing too strong though.” She said coyly.

     He pulled down a bottle of amber liquid labeled, “Disaronno” and set it on the counter. He rummaged around in the small refrigerator beneath the bar, finding what he was looking for and added a bottle of opaque liquid and a small container of lemon juice to his stash of ingredients. Finally, he rose up from the floor, holding a small jar of cherries.

     Rey eyed him curiously. “What are you making there bartender?”

     He winked at her, setting about mixing his ingredients together in expert fashion contrary to his earlier poor showmanship at bartending. He placed the finish product in front of her, dropping in a cherry and pushing it towards her. He smiled expectantly, she could tell he was immensely pleased with himself. She brought the glass to her lips, taking a tentative sip and smacking her lips at the pleasant taste that was both sweet and tart at the same time. 

     “Mm. This is delicious!” She told him honestly, taking another sip.

     “Amaretto sour.” He shrugged. “It always curls my tongue. Guess that’s why it reminded me of you.” He added with a wink.

     Rey blushed, her face warming from the act paired with the alcohol she was sipping.

     “Where’d you learn to make things like this?” She asked, shaking her glass slightly.

     “My uh, mom taught me.” He said warily. Taking a sip of the whiskey he’d just finished pouring for himself.

     Rey thought for a moment, confused. “Wait, but you haven’t spoken to her since.. you were seventeen? She taught you to make drinks as a teenager? 

     “Ah, well. Good memory there. She uh... she liked her alcohol my mom.” He told her, seeming as if he wished he hadn’t.

     Rey gave him a sad look, feeling sorry for young Kylo and wanting to give him a hug. “I’m sorry, is that why... is that why they divorced?”

     He nodded. “It got pretty bad.”

     Rey reached across the counter, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. He gave her a hard look, chewing on his lip as if he wanted to tell her more. Just as he opened his mouth to speak however, Rose and Hux came down the stairs, causing Phasma to shout across the space for them to come and join her.

     “Kylo!” Phasma called from her place on the oversized sectional where she was now perched. “Don’t be using all those fancy skills only for your girl there mate, whip these tossers up some drinks too. Everyone’s drinking double tonight since I can’t have any. I deserve to be doubly entertained.” 

     Kylo’s revelational mood shattered by Phasma’s interruption, he instead flicked the tip of his finger to the end of her nose, smiling softly. Rey took another sip of her drink, always grateful for the scraps of information he chose to share with her. Little by little she was gathering more pieces to the puzzle that was Kylo. 

     He took everyone’s drink requests in stride, whipping them up easily from memory. If Rey hadn’t known the sad circumstances behind his prowess, she might be thoroughly impressed. She supposed even still it was pretty impressive. When everyone had their own drink, Rey and Kylo joined them on the couch.

     “I think I was promised games of some sort.” Hux said loudly. 

     Mitaka pointed across the space. “Well we’ve got the pool table...”

     Rose scrunched up her nose, sipping her rum and coke before weighing in. “I don’t want to sit around watching the men folks slap their balls around. Next.”

     Phasma laughed. “I think we may actually have some party games there in the closet. Hux, be a dear and check would you? I have to take it easy, the baby you know. 

     Hux gave her a skeptical look, glancing over to Kylo for affirmation. Kylo rolled his eyes, throwing up his hands. “Hey man, better just get used to it. She’s officially milking this shit.”

     Hux grumbled as he stomped over to the closet, opening it up to take a look. He pulled out several blankets, extension cords, an odd wooden mask adorned with feathers... finally reaching what he was looking for and unearthing a pile of old party games. There were several dusty boxes in his arms, and he brought them over for the group to peruse.

     “Oh I love this one!” Rose exclaimed, pulling out a purple box with a bright orange logo stamped across it. They opened up the game of Taboo, taking the pieces and dividing them up into teams. The game was a mess, they found out quickly that Hux was terrible at it, which resulted in Rose screaming in frustration every few seconds when it was their turn to pair up.

     It became a full on shouting match by the end, the continuous stream of alcohol they were indulging in making things more and more difficult as time went on. They eventually abandoned the whole thing, unable to declare a winner for arguing over lost points.

     Rose huffed as she went through the pile again, stumbling slightly now that she was obviously tipsy. “Ohhhh. This one. Let’s play this one next.” The white box was covered with multi colored circles, and Phasma shrieked in delight. 

     “Oh yes, this one’s next. I’ll have to sit this one out though. All that bending can’t be good for the little one.” She smiled innocently.

     “You just want to watch the rest of us make asses of ourselves at drunken Twister.” Kylo accused. 

     “Too right.” She replied cheekily.

     Rey was teetering slightly herself, being on her third refill of her drink, and she giggled when Kylo put an arm around her to steady her. “Your arm is really warm.” She slurred.

     “Rey, are you a little drunk right now?” He asked her curiously.

     “Mm, maybe.” She said with a wink. She let loose another giggle, sliding a hand across his stomach, needing to touch him.

     “Careful Rey,” he growled into her ear. “or we’ll never finish the game.”

     She hiccuped slightly. “I’ve got a game you can play.”

     “I think I might love drunk Rey.” He said so quietly she didn’t quite catch.

     “Whassat?” She asked, squinting.

     He shook his head, grinning. “Nothing. Come on let’s get this game over with so I can get to know drunk Rey a little better.”

     They made their way to the wide plastic mat Rose was setting up on the floor, with the assistance of Jyn. Mitaka had chose to sit this game out as well, claiming he needed to assist his pregnant wife. Apparently they were both going to milk their impending parenthood.

     The next hour was a fiasco of drunken silliness, no one able to work their way into any sort of complicated twists in their current states. There were more laughs this round of games, cackling ensuing each time they fell into a pile, which happened more times than not. Kylo took every available opportunity to touch Rey inappropriately, being less than surreptitious in his fondling. By the time they had probably gained more bruises than they could count from their antics, deciding to call it quits, Rey was flustered and keyed up beyond recognition.

     She was also drunk beyond repair, her vision heavily blurred as her sentences came out in silly babbles. She giggled at anything and everything, and flirted with Kylo more openly than she had in their entire time together. Phasma, having had enough of them, scoffed across the space to chide them.

     “If the two of you don’t stop your groping in my basement, you’re going to make me sick.” She said, grinning despite her words. To Kylo she added, “Why don’t you put that girl to bed there, tiger. Take one of the guest rooms.” To the others she said, “You’d better all take a guest room. You’re all too pissed to get home anyway.”

     Wasting no time, Kylo slung Rey over his shoulder, her ass hanging in the air as the rest of her body fell down his back. She waved sheepishly to the others, bidding them a slurred goodnight as Kylo bound up the stairs with Rey in tow. He burst through the door to the upstairs, running through the house quickly as he searched for a spare bedroom. He found one just off the hall passed the kitchen, and slung the door open before slamming it behind him just as quickly.

     He crossed the space of the bedroom like a man on a mission, throwing Rey on the bed roughly. She smiled blearily at him, feeling weightless in her haze. She reached out her arms, trying to get him to join her on the bed. He pulled the straps of his suspenders from his shoulders- plain black this time, and they fell haphazardly to his waist with a clink. Rey bit her lip, eyeing the accessory and blurting out her thoughts easily due to the freeing agent that was her inebriated state. 

     “Your suspenders... I really like them.” She sighed.

     “Oh yeah?” He breathed. “How much?”

     “They really turn me on. I don’t even know why, I think it’s just you.” She told him honestly.

     He unclipped them from his dark jeans, tossing them on the mattress beside her. “What else turns you on Rey? I’d like to hear it.”

     “Um,” she said, thinking. “Your hair. It’s so thick and dark and soft.”

    He leaned over her, letting the ends of his long hair tickle her throat as he pressed a kiss to her jaw. She closed her eyes, his touch sending tiny shivers throughout her. 

     “Mm,” he said into her throat. “What else?”

     “Your hands.” She breathed. “They’re so... _big_. When you wrap them around my waist and can touch on either side, it makes me so hot.”

     He ran his hands up the length of her belly, sliding up her pale lavender camisole and bunching it at her waist before doing exactly as she described. She moaned beneath him, wiggling her hips slightly as she felt herself growing wet inside her underwear.

     “ _Kylo_.” She whispered, her voice needy and urgent. 

     “What else, Rey? What about _this_?” He accentuated the word with a thrust of his hips, pressing his hardness into the center of her squirming hips. She gasped at the feel of him, her sex now throbbing and thoroughly wet.

     “ _Yes_ , Kylo. Touch me, _please_.” She begged.

     “I will, baby. Tell me though, tell me you love it.” He growled into her skin.

     “I do, I love it. I love it Kylo.” She whimpered.

     “Say it, Rey. Say you love my cock.” He urged 

     “I- I love, ah..” she stuttered- he’d pressed into her again and the warmth between her legs had her mind fuzzier than the alcohol.

     “ _Say it_.” He groaned, almost begging.

     “I love your co-cock Kylo. I love it. Please. _Please_ touch me.” She mewled.

     “Good girl. Shh, good girl.” He purred. “Do you want me to fuck you now?”

     “ _Yes_ , Kylo. _Please_.” She gasped, her skin on fire.

     “Happy to, baby.” He rasped, pulling her top up and over her head roughly, freeing her from it and tossing it to the floor. He popped open the button of her shorts, hooking his fingers into the hem of them and her underwear and dragging them down her legs in one swift motion. 

     He leaned up, sliding his olive green v-neck over his head and adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. When he reached to undo his pants, he gave her a heated look, uttering a command before he finished undressing. “Take off your bra,  I want you naked.”

     She obliged, clumsily reaching behind her to undo the straps, the action proving much more difficult than normal with her mind fuzzy as it was. She was all sensation, the alcohol reducing her to a simpering pile of heated need. She shakily pulled the straps over her shoulders, shucking the undergarment to the side before reaching up to roll a nipple between her fingers. She needed something, _anything_ to ease the ache between her legs.

     “Kylo,” she whined. “ _Hurry_.”

     He groaned low in his chest, the sight of her touching herself causing his eyes to darken and grow wide. He jerked his jeans roughly over his hips, kicking out of them, his socks immediately following. 

     “Keep touching yourself like that.” He demanded.

     She obeyed, tugging on the pert bud while bringing her other hand up to give the same attention to its twin. Kylo grasped his rigid cock firmly in his hand, fisting it tightly before sliding the head through her slick folds, coating himself in her.

     “ _Fuck_ , Rey. You’re _drenched_.” He rasped.

     Rey could only moan in response, the searing flesh of his cock driving her insane as it slid over her clit repeatedly.

     “Tell me, ah,” Kylo started, having a hard time speaking as he continued to ruthlessly slide against her clit. “Tell me to fuck you, Rey.”

     “ _Yes_ , Kylo. _Please_.” She whimpered.

     “ _Rey_.” He ground out.

     “Fuck me. _Fuck me, Kylo_.” She all but shouted.

     He thrust into her, burying himself in her to the hilt and grinding his hips against hers for good measure. He gripped the underside of her thigh, bringing her leg up and over his shoulder to rest there so he could reach even deeper. Rey gasped at the fullness, her pussy stretched to its limit. He snapped his hips into her, pounding a furious rhythm without mercy.  

     This was not gentle lovemaking, which Rey knew Kylo was capable of, this was _fucking_. Raw, animalistic, _passionate_. Rey had never felt such a basic, primal sense of need but as Kylo ground into her again and again she could only cry out in ecstasy as he took her. When he reached between them to rub his thumb into her swollen clit, she felt herself buck beneath him as her legs shook with her orgasm. 

     Her back bowed off the bed, pressing Kylo deeper inside her. The act paired with her spasming insides was enough to send Kylo chasing after her, his hips thrusting with one final push before holding himself to her, grunting as he filled her, his cock twitching heavily as he emptied himself. When he was spent, he let her leg fall back onto the mattress, leaning over to let his forehead rest  against hers, still breathing heavily.

     “You are,” he said between gasps. “ _Perfect_.”

     Rey smiled dreamily beneath him, pulling her to his mouth to press a soft kiss there. He slid out of her, groaning as he did so and pulled her into his arms. She sighed contently into his chest as he pulled the covers over them, tangling his legs between hers in order to pull her closer. He wound his fingers through hers, his tiny bracelet he still wore clinking against hers, making Rey smile. 

 

     “Do you think anyone heard us?” She whispered anxiously against his skin.

     “Mm, I hope so. Maybe then Jyn will stop thinking Cassian’s got something on me.” He said with a shudder.

     Rey giggled softly, nuzzling her face into his warmth and closing her eyes as sleep crept over her.

     “For the record,” Rey said, yawning against his side. “I think you’re perfect too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Sigh. Literally only wrote in the nipple pinch for this gif. #shameless


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 Kudos!  
> First of all, I need to tell everyone who has bothered to read this fic, or stick with me this far (I say that like it’s been years instead of weeks because of my inability to have any semblance of patience.), or say sweet things, you’re my hero. Seriously. You’ll never know how the positive response to this silly little fan fiction have become a highlight in my life. I love you all, and since all I can give you in grattitude is more updates- here’s a Kylo mini! (The longest one yet!)

     The first thing Kylo was made aware of upon waking up was the pounding of his head. Fuck, he’d had too much to drink last night. He’d known somewhere between their third round of taboo he should start cutting back, but Rey was being so fucking cute he just kept refilling right along with her. His eyes still closed tight against the offensive sunlight pouring through the sheer curtains, he smiled to himself, remembering how brazen Rey had been. The alcohol had dulled her normally insecure persona, and she’d let herself go, being more of the Rey that Kylo knew was hidden inside her somewhere. She’d been so fucking wild last night. Kylo loved watching her grow more confident the more time they spent together, knowing she had every reason to be. She really was perfect.

     Speaking of Rey, the second thing he noticed upon waking up, his hand roving across the soft sheets next to him, was that she was missing. He cracked open one eye, peeking over to the empty space where she should be. Nothing. The sheets were cool, she must have been up for awhile. He wished she’d have woken him up before she’d gone, he had the feeling that a morning romp with Rey was just the thing to take the edge off his hangover.

     He swung his long legs over the edge of the bed, rising slow and with difficulty as he stretched his stiff limbs. He rooted around the floor in search of his jeans, finding them shoved under the bed in a wad. He pulled them out, sliding them on while trying to avoid falling over. He shuffled into the attached bath, rummaging through the drawers in search of a spare toothbrush. He groaned when he didn’t find one, his mouth tasted like the floor of a dive bar. He turned on the faucet, filling his mouth with warm water and swishing furiously. It helped, but he still had the small urge to hurl. He hadn’t been this hungover in years.

     He splashed some of the water over his face, rubbing it in to try and wake himself up a little. Satisfied that this was as good as it was going to get, he left the sink, using the toilet before walking back into the bedroom to find his shirt. Pulling it over his head proved difficult, but the alternative was traipsing around shirtless and Phasma would definitely have some stupid shit to say about that. 

     He left the bedroom, walking through the house to find Rey. She wasn’t in the living room, it was completely empty. Phasma and Mitaka were probably still asleep, it was only nine in the morning after all. Kylo was amazed that Rey was already up, she’d been just as hammered as he was last night. He left the living room, walking down the hall in the direction of the kitchen. He heard her voice drifting out of the room, speaking with Rose it sounded like, and he was just about to round the corner and join them when bits of their conversation hit him, stopping him in his tracks.

     “Right? I can’t believe Ben fucking knew all this time and he didn’t say _anything_.” Rose said angrily. 

     “I know!” Rey said vehemently. “He had so many opportunities to say something and he just kept his mouth shut. Surely he didn’t just think that would be okay, did he? He had to have known it would end badly.”

     What the fuck? Kylo’s heart raced in his chest. She _knew_. Somehow she fucking knew. He desperately rifled through his pocket for his wallet, finding it safely tucked away where he’d left it still. Shit. That’s not it. She’d called him _Ben_. Why the fuck would she suddenly call him Ben? Did Hux get too drunk and say something to Rose? That fucking bastard. Kylo would kill him. He knew how much worse this would look coming from anyone other than Kylo. He took a deep breath, trying hard not to panic as he strained to hear more of the conversation.

     Rey’s voice continued, sounding soft and sad. “I really thought I loved him before all this, now I’m not sure. That’s a pretty shitty thing to keep to yourself if you ask me.”

     Kylo’s heart constricted tightly in his chest. She’d _loved_ him? As in did but now doesn’t? Fuck. No. He wanted to scream. If only he’d just fucking explained. He had to beg her to listen to him. He pushed off the wall he was slumped against, determined to make her listen when Rose spoke up again, halting him. 

     “No! Don’t give up on him, you have to keep reading. It’s such a beautiful ending. Seriously, keeping going! You’re almost to the end.” Rose urged.

     The fuck? What the fuck was going on here?

     “Don’t get me wrong,” Rey told her. “I _love_ the book. I just wish Ben had told Fallon much sooner that he’d known who she was when they met. It might have made the blow easier. I mean, he waited _years_.”

     A book? Fucking Christ. Kylo breathed a heavy sigh of relief. She was talking about the book Rose had given her. She’d briefly told him about it when he’d caught her reading it this past week, but he’d quickly distracted her from her reading and dragged her to the bedroom so he hadn’t really absorbed the information.

     Fucking stupid book, he was pretty sure he was having a heart attack right now. He listened to them chat about it for a minute more, calming his racing heart. Willing himself to act natural, he rounded the corner, entering the kitchen so that he could stop feeling like a creep skulking just outside.

     Rey turned in her seat, smiling when she saw him. “Hey sleepyhead.”

     “Morning.” He said cheerfully, masking the anxiety he was still struggling to push down. He cupped her face in his hands, pulling her in for a deep kiss that was probably less than appropriate for so early in the morning. She met him enthusiastically, her arms coming up to wind around his neck. 

     It wasn’t until Rose gave a conspicuous cough that he remembered she was there, breaking himself away from Rey. “Mm, what was that for?” Rey asked breathlessly.

     “Just missed you when I woke up is all.” He smiled lazily down at her. 

     “Oh, brother.” Rose laughed.

     “We’re adorable, I promise.” Kylo told her, winking. 

     Rose shook her head. “So how hungover are we?” 

     Kylo groaned. “My head feels like there’s a construction site going on up there.”

     “Same.” Rose concurred. 

     Rey shrugged. “I feel okay actually.”

     “Lucky bitch!” Rose huffed. “You’re the biggest lightweight of us all.”

     “I know! It’s so weird. I should feel like dirt right now.” Rey laughed.

     “I guess your boy here worked all the alcohol out of your system before it could do any damage, eh?” Rose teased.

     Rey turned a pretty shade of pink, blushing to the roots of her hair. “Oh my God.”

     Rose wiggled her eyebrows. “You two sure ran out in a hurry.”

     Kylo covered his mouth with his hand, trying his best not to laugh at Rey’s embarrassment. “We had matters to attend to.” He said wickedly. 

     Rey groaned. “Shut-up. Both of you.”

     Rose continued to tease Rey, still laughing at her expense when Phasma and Mitaka walked in soon after. Phasma yawned widely as she held her arms over her head in a stretch, her short blonde hair sticking out at odd angles from sleep. Hux was still missing, but he’d more than likely be in bed till lunchtime.

     “Morning, kids. Did we sleep well?” She asked. 

     Rose turned in her chair to look at Phasma, an evil glint in her eye. “ _Actually_ , we were just talking about how well _Rey_ slept.”

     Phasma cackled maniacally, understanding exactly what Rose was hinting at. “Don’t let them tease you, love. There’s nothing wrong with a drunken shag now and then.” She said, winking at Rey. 

     Rey covered her face in her hands, laughing softly despite her embarrassment. “You people will be the death of me.” She chuckled. 

     “Where’s my little darling Jyn?” Phasma asked. 

     “Asleep still, she was up pretty late on the phone last night.” Rose said with a knowing look at Rey. Must have been Cassian. Rey made a mental note to ask her about it later. 

     “That was a positively delightful time last night, we must make it a regular thing. I need the entertainment factor of watching you lot sod off into a stupor.” Phasma remarked.

     “Yes! We totally should. This definitely beats hanging at home with my parents watching old reruns.” Rose agreed.

     Rey shot her a skeptical look. “Don’t even pretend like you don’t love hanging out with your parents.” 

     “Okay, I mean, that’s fair. Still, it’s nice to socialize with people our own age every once in awhile.” Rose sighed.

     Phasma clapped her hands excitedly. “Let’s go somewhere tonight!”

     Kylo cut in, shaking his head vehemently. “Slow down there, now. I’m going to need a little recovery time before I’m ready to perform again.”

     “Not the first time you’ve said that, eh?” Phasma quipped.

     Kylo shut his eyes tight, sighing dramatically in her direction. “I do this to myself, I swear.”

     “Not the first time you’ve said _that_ -” She started, laughing. 

     “Shut- _up_.” Kylo cut her off, laughing despite himself. 

     “Not everyone is so, _on_  this early in the morning there, Phas.” Mitaka chuckled softly from the fridge as he rifled for something to make for breakfast.  

     “Too right.” She sighed. “It’s a shame.”

     “So what about tomorrow? Everyone free on Friday?” Rose asked.

     Rey looked up at Kylo, her eyes raised in silent question. He shrugged. “I’m game if you are.”

     “Oh, there’s a fabulous new club downtown I’ve been dying to see.” Phasma offered.

     “Dancing?” Rey asked, scrunching her nose.

     “Yeah, that no good?” Phasma replied, pouting. 

     Rose laughed. “Rey and dancing normally don’t go hand in hand.”

     Rey sighed. “I’ve got two left feet.”

     Kylo squeezed her knee under the table, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Don’t worry baby, I’ve got you. I’ve got enough moves for the both of us.” 

     Rey rolled her eyes, biting back a smile. “I _guess_ it could be fun.” 

     “I’m game too!” Rose said excitedly. 

     Phasma squealed. “Fantastic! How exciting.”

     Kylo was quiet as he watched the girls make plans to go shopping the next day, his earlier panic finally having subsided. The episode only solidified that it was time to come clean with Rey, and he vowed to do it soon. This weekend, he promised himself. He’d get her alone and explain everything. It wouldn’t break them- he wouldn’t allow that. He didn’t care what happened, he was never letting go of Rey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  I’m somewhat addicted to AD visual aids now.. so here’s a nice one of Kylo waking up hungover. Sigh.  
> P.S. Rey’s book is real. If you haven’t read it, and you want to boohoo, have a go. It’s one of my favorites.  
> [November 9](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25111004-november-9)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  The good news: Some one, (it’s me), wrote a 5400 word chapter. I practically gave you two chapters. So there’s that. Also, I watched dirty dancing clips for like an hour for some good inspiration. Swoon.  
> The bad news: Kylo tells Rey nothing today. *hides under a rock shouting that it’s not my fault*  
> The worse news: I have to insert a trigger warning... Rey runs into some trouble and is a little manhandled, nothing overly graphic, no worries- but some one gets Kylo stomped.  
> Okay, shutup Courtney, let them get on with it. It’s 2am and my brain is dead.

    

 

 

* * *

 

 “Take that off right now.” Rose demanded.

     “What’s wrong with this one?” Rey asked, frowning as she eyed her reflection in the dressing room mirror.

     “It’s fine- if you’re going to church. We’re going to a nightclub, Rey. You’re going to show some skin.” Rose sighed.

     Rey gave her a wary look, obviously not completely on board with the idea.

     “You’ve got great legs, Rey. Try this.” Jyn said as she ducked under the curtain to join them. She handed Rey a tiny scrap of pink material, and Rey eyed the tiny bit of fabric skeptically. 

     “Oh shut-up and try it on.” Jyn said, rolling her eyes. “It’s already loverboy’s favorite color. Just trust me.”

     Rey peeled the dress that Rose had deemed too modest over her head, tossing it on the bench before removing the pink minidress from the hanger to squeeze into it. “Am I supposed to be able to breathe?” Rey squeaked from under the tight fabric.

     “Preferably not- if you can’t breathe your tits probably look amazing.” Jyn assured her.

     “Here let me help you.” Rose offered, sliding the dress over her shoulders and fitting it to the waist. The soft pink sleeveless garment was fitted tightly to the waist before flaring out in a flowy manner, ending just at the top of Rey’s thighs.

     Rey turned in the full length mirror, eyeing the barely there dress from the back. “If I bend over in this you’re going to see my ass.” Rey groused.

     “If you bend over in that you’ll probably be _trying_ to let someone see your ass.” Jyn teased, wiggling her eyebrows. 

     Rose giggled conspiratorially, reaching over to smooth down Rey’s skirt. “I think this is the one. It’s going to make me sick watching Kylo moon over you, but man if it won’t be a sight to see.”

     Rey turned again, inspecting the long expanse of her bare legs on display. She couldn’t deny that she looked pretty good, but she also couldn’t deny that she felt incredibly uncomfortable. “I don’t know...”

     Jyn poked her head out of the curtain, hollering for Phasma. Phasma appeared moments later, wearing a sheer black scarf around her head and matching dark sunglasses. She looked like she’d just walked out of the punk version of an old Audrey Hepburn movie. Rey had to admit that even though she was only dressed this way to avoid the paparazzi, she looked damn good in it. 

     “What’s the problem?” She asked them.

     “Tell Rey she’s wearing this dress.” Rose asked.

     Phasma gave her a once over, grinning wickedly. “Oh dear, well, if our boy actually lets you leave the house in that- he’s sure to be positively gaga for it. You’re wearing this dress.” 

     Rey gave herself one last long look, biting her thumbnail idly. “Are you sure?”

     “ _Trust_  me. It’s perfect.” Rose assured her.

     Jyn nodded emphatically in agreement and Phasma gave her an encouraging thumbs up. Rey resolved herself to buy the tiny dress, deciding she would only be in her twenties once and to live a little. She pulled it off with the help of Rose, the thing really was tight in the chest area, and replaced it on the hanger so that she could take it up front to pay. 

     “Here, let me.” Phasma said, snatching the dress from her.

     “What? No, that’s okay! I can buy it.” Rey exclaimed, trying to take it back.

     “Love, my boy has smiled more these past few weeks than he has in _years_. I give him a right amount of shite but I love that broody git. You make him happy, this dress will _surely_ make him happy, and that makes me happy. I’m buying the bloody dress.” She told her forcefully, adding a wink to take the edge off her solemn tone.

     Rey smiled sheepishly up at her, loving Phasma more and more. She was like a mother to everyone she met, and Rey just knew she was going to be the best mom to that little baby she was baking- if maybe a little bit unorthodox. “Thank you, really.” Rey told her gratefully.

     Phasma waved her off. “Nonsense, it’s my pleasure. In fact, you two go pick out a dress as well. I rather feel like a mother taking her daughters to prom. It’s quite fun actually.” She added to Jyn and Rose.

     The next hour was spent searching for the rest of the group outfits for their outing that night, Jyn found a fitted red number, while Rose settled for a blue sequined romper that she had been gushing over. Phasma herself had picked out a black and white checkered a-line dress, pairing it with bright green heels. Rey would never understand how she pulled off such ostentatious clothing, but she definitely did. 

     They left the store with their bags in hand, chatting excitedly for the night to come. Phasma had driven them in her Land Rover, which she had told them Mitaka had run out and bought the minute they’d found out they were pregnant as a “family vehicle.” She’d grumbled when they’d first climbed in, talking about how much she’d missed her Audi. It was parked in their garage; Mitaka deeming it unsafe for the baby. 

     Phasma drove them back to her house to get ready; the boys had went out earlier to hang out and would be back in a little while to meet them. Even Cassian was with them, although Rey had no idea how Jyn had swung that. They’d used Phasma bedroom as their main base of operations, their clothes and accessories strewn out across the onyx comforter while they crowded in her bathroom to fix up.

     The others were making sure Rey was as fixed up as possible, and by the end of it all she’d felt like she really _was_  going to prom. Rose had curled her hair into a much tighter series of ringlets than usual, and Jyn had done some sort of magic to her eyes, making them look smoky and exotic. Phasma had tried to put a neon pink lip stain on her, but Rey had politely told her there was no way she could pull that off like Phasma could. Pouting, she’d instead pulled out a much more “boring” pink as she’d put it, a pale nude-ish pink that had complimented Rey’s skin nicely. 

     By the time Rey had slipped, or rather forced herself, into her dress, she was amazed at what a little bit of primping could do. She’d went from being pleasantly cute in her eyes to, well, _hot_. She was actually excited for Kylo to see her. She wished he’d hurry back. She hadn’t seen him since this morning and was actually starting to miss him. She was getting pretty pathetic when it came to him. 

     She slipped on her nude flats that she’d insisted on despite the others trying to talk her into pumps, she actually liked Kylo being so much taller than her. Plus, Rey and heels was a recipe for disaster. She was already nervous about attempting to dance in a crowded place in front of so many people. She trusted Kylo to not let her make a fool of herself though. 

     Speaking of Kylo, she heard a door slam somewhere across the house, and muffled voices follow in after. The boys were back apparently. She heard Kylo’s voice calling her from the other end of the house, and she was suddenly nervous to see him. Her earlier confidence was melting into bubbles of anxiety. She was afraid it would seem like she was trying to hard. 

     “Stop that.” Rose told her firmly from the bed as she slipped on her shoes. “I can see you over there overthinking. You look fucking amazing, Rey.”

     Rey bit her lip, giving herself one last one in the standing mirror on the back of Phasma’s door. You know what? She _did_  look good. She told herself to stop doubting that. She squared her shoulders, pulled open Phasma’s door and went through the house to find Kylo. 

     She found him in the living room, rounding the corner of the hallway to find him standing by the couch talking to Hux. His eyes flicked to hers when she entered, his mouth falling open and holding, whatever he was about to say lost on his lips. She saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and he walked away from Hux mid conversation, gravitating towards her. Hux shook his head after him, a small laugh escaping him over Kylo’s hopeless behavior. 

     He stopped just in front of her, not touching her but his eyes roving up and down as he took in her appearance. 

     “Hi.” She said shyly. “Do I look okay?”

     He hummed softly. “Rey, ah, I don’t think okay is the word I’d use.”

     She tilted her head in question.

     “You look fucking _incredible_.” He said appreciatively. 

     Rey beamed up at him, all her insecurities melting under his heated gaze. 

     “In fact... I’m a little jealous of anyone else that gets to see you tonight.” He frowned. 

     Rey giggled. “You’ll just have to stick very close to me then, won’t you?”

     He scoffed. “As if there were any danger of that _not_ happening.”

     “Kylo, quit your pining and go get dressed. We have dinner reservations and I’m starving.” Hux chided him from across the room. 

     Kylo pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, telling her he’d be right back before disappearing with Hux to go change. 

     He reappeared shortly after, wearing a short sleeved grey button down paired with his snug black jeans. She noticed his shirt was the very same he’d worn that first night when he’d come to her apartment. She smiled wide when she saw he’d donned his pink suspenders to match her, not caring in the slightest if it was cheesy. 

     He wouldn’t get off so easily with Phasma though, she couldn’t resist teasing him. “Really? After all the shite you give me and Doph?”

     Kylo rolled his eyes, not bothering to respond as he crossed the space to meet Rey on the couch. He bowed dramatically, offering her his hand to help her up. “Ready to tear up the town?” He asked, grinning.

     She took his hand, rising to meet him. “I think I’m definitely warming up to the idea.” She told him, running a hand under the band of his suspenders before snapping it lightly against his chest. 

     He smiled wider, winking at her. “Then let’s go, baby.”

     Hours later after dinner, the group was pulling up to the front of the club’s valet, Mitaka and Phasma driving Rey, Kylo, Hux and Rose in their Land Rover while Jyn and Cassian had taken the Maybach. 

     The electric blue neon sign of Canto Bight’s shone brightly above the canvas canopied entryway, and Rey’s eyes widened as she got out of the car to meet the condensed group of eagerly waiting people standing outside. Kylo stepped out after her, people turning their heads and whispering excitedly at the sight of him.

     Rey swallowed nervously, somehow the thought of people noticing them hadn’t crossed her mind until now. They’d been living in their little bubble so thoroughly she’d almost forgotten. People stared opened mouthed as Kylo snuck an arm around her waist, herding her along so as not to be mobbed by the braver fans. The rest of their group followed, people shouting at this point to try and get the band’s attention. Kylo nodded politely, offering a few waves as he marched Rey on; she kept her head ducked so as to try and avoid any unnecessary attention.

     Phasma, true to her nature, blew kisses to every passerby who looked her way, even stopping to sign an autograph or two. They pressed through the crowd to the door of the club, the bouncer nodding at them and opening the door without so much as a question. They filed into the club, deafening music already pounding through the entry hall.

     “Rey!” Jyn shouted, pointing beneath their feet. “The floors!”

     Rey glanced down, noticing the smooth flooring was colored bright magenta. She laughed, turning to Kylo to ask if he’d known. He shrugged, his face saying that he had no idea. They turned to Phasma expectantly, their eyes all asking the same question.

     “Don’t look at me, I had no idea.” She said, shaking her head. “Bloody doesn’t surprise me though, damned color seems to follow us wherever we go, eh?” She added, winking in Rey’s direction.

     Rey giggled as Kylo squeezed her hip with the hand he had wrapped around it, pushing her along so that they could continue on into the main part of the club. A wide set of double doors sat at the end of the entry hall, the flashing lights inside bleeding under the door frame. Phasma hurried ahead, her excitement barely contained as she pushed through the doors  

     “Party time!” She squealed gleefully, dragging her poor husband behind her.

     Jyn followed after her, pulling a very begrudged looking Cassian by the arm. Hux politely extended an arm to allow Rose to go in first, her curtsying dramatically before she passed. Rey loved that they were getting along, it was nice that everyone could hang out so easily like this. Kylo looked down at Rey, raising an eyebrow. 

     “Ready?” He asked.

     She screwed her face into her most unready expression, earning her a laugh. “Come on, Footloose. It’ll be fun.” He grinned.

     They moved onto the main floor, the place packed from wall to wall. It was like working through a maze but the hedges were made of people. Kylo cut them a path, pushing their way through the thick crowd of bodies as Rey stood in his shadow, clinging to the back of his shirt so as not to get knocked over. She was less than ten minutes into this experience and already she was feeling anxious at being around so many people.

     The good news was that because everyone seemed to be so distracted with having a good time, paired with the hazy lighting, no one had yet to notice the new patrons of the club that had just entered. So far no one had accosted them, and they soon made it home free to the rear of the club where the bar was located. Kylo hoisted Rey up by the waist, setting her on the bar top with ease.

     “So I don’t lose you.” He said into her ear, flashing her a wicked grin. 

     She crossed her arms, feeling like a child but laughing all the same. He stood close to her, his arm a warm comfort pressed against the exposed skin of her thigh. He shot out his other arm to get the bartenders attention, waving at him until he made his way over. 

     “Hey fella, name’s Poe. What can I get ya?” He shouted over the music.

     “Hey man, get me a Jack Daniel’s- neat, and for her...” he trailed off, eyeing her questionably.

     She shrugged. “Anything sweet.”

     He thought a moment, his face lighting up as he decided what to order. “She’ll have a Pink Lady.” He turned to look at her, looking so pleased with himself Rey couldn’t help but giggle. 

     “I think you may be obsessed.” She said loudly into his ear. “Maybe we you should see someone about that.”

     He leaned in, speaking only loud enough for her to hear. “If you want to play doctor, Rey, all you have to do is ask.” 

     She blushed, thankful for the club’s lighting to mask it. “You’re terrible.” She told him.

     “What was that? I’m wearable?” He asked in mock confusion, holding a hand to his ear as if he hadn’t heard. 

     Rey smacked his shoulder from her perch, grinning. “I said, you’re TERRIBLE!” She all but shouted. 

     Kylo shrugged, looking pleased with himself as he took his whiskey from the bartender. Rey scanned the crowd as she waited for him to make her cocktail, looking for the others. She spotted Rose dancing with Hux energetically off to the center of the dance floor, the pair of them flouncing around like children and making fools of themselves. Phasma wasn’t far off, Mitaka swinging her tall form around  in a circle as she threw her head back laughing. 

     Still searching, Rey finally spotted Jyn and Cassian further into the corner of the club, dancing in a way that made Rey blush. Her back was to his front, and her hips were pressed closely to his as the wound into each other. Cassian’s hands gripped Jyn’s hips, and her hair brushed across his face as she leaned into him. Rey watched with wide eyes, somewhat jealous of how easily they moved.

     Kylo followed her eyes as he handed her the drink he’d just taken, noticing what she was seeing. He leaned his elbows back on the bar, taking a sip and nodding towards the dance floor. 

     “You could do that too.” He said loudly. 

     She shook her head. “No way!”

     He nodded, taking another drink. He motioned to her drink, silently telling her to drink up. She supposed he knew he’d have to liquor her up a bit before she found courage enough to get out there. 

     She took a tentative sip, finding it actually pretty delicious. She took another drink, smacking her lips slightly. Kylo’s eyes were glued to her mouth as she did so, and he smiled to himself when she caught him staring. She finished her drink quickly, her belly already warming with the contents of the alcohol. She didn’t know what was in that Pink Lady, but damned if it wasn’t strong. Already she had a tiny floating sensation in her head that signaled she was tipsy. 

     Kylo wound an arm under her, pulling her to the floor as he wound his hand through hers. The lights of the club made the pink of her bracelet shimmer, and she smiled giddily down at it. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of seeing the matching set so close together when they held hands. He tugged her by the hand, pulling her out into the crowd against her protests. 

     “ _Kylo_ ,” she whined. “I’ll just look silly.”

     He turned slightly, leaning down so he could speak into her ear once more. “Looking like you do tonight there’s no fucking way you could even begin to look silly. Trust me, Rey. I’ve got you.”

     She bit her lip, nodding up at him and causing one side of his mouth to turn up. He continued cutting a path through the writhing bodies, landing them right in the thick of things before halting. Rey was nervous despite her slight buzz, standing awkwardly still as she grasped one arm with her hand, rubbing idly. 

     Kylo cupped her jaw, tilting her chin up so that she was looking at him before pressing a hard kiss to her mouth. She melted into him, her nerves almost forgotten against the warmth of his lips. When he broke their kiss, he slid his hands down the length of her arms, pressing between them to settle on her hips as he pulled her tightly to him. 

     He placed a hand at the small of her back, pressing down so that she would bend into him. Her head darted around, afraid someone might be looking at her. He brought his other hand back to her jaw, turning her eyes up once more. 

     “Look at me, Rey.” He said only to her. “Don’t look at anyone else. Just look at me.”

     He began to move, pressing his hips further into hers and rotating slightly, moving her waist in a circle to a rhythm he controlled. 

     “Put your arms around my neck.” He said against her ear. 

     She obliged, sliding them over his shoulders to link behind his head. He dipped his hips, rolling them into her pelvis in a way that forced her to move with him in a fluid motion. He continued this way, his hands resting on her hips and dipping lower to smooth over the fabric that covered her backside. She shuddered against him, each rock of his hips pressing into her center provocatively. 

     The song beat relentlessly around them, the lights and sounds all dulling as Rey found herself only being able to focus on Kylo. If she listened carefully, she could hear his breath coming out in labored huffs as he quickly became just as affected by their swaying as she was. He leaned in close, pressing his lips to her neck and letting his tongue taste her there. 

     Rey closed her eyes into his chest, feel it rise and fall against her cheek as his heart pounded heavily beneath. She let her fingers wind into his hair hanging at his nape, tugging slightly, enjoying the thickness. She felt his chest rumble in appreciation, his mouth leaving her throat to twist her suddenly so that her back was pressed to his front. 

     Kylo slid his hand up the length of her arm, winding it once more around his neck before letting his fingers trace back down her skin as the traced a path back to her waist. She thread her fingers into his hair once more, looking up at him as he pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. 

     When he rolled his hips behind her, she was prepared, using her free hand to grip the hard muscle of his thigh before dipping back against him. She could feel him against her, hard against the tight fabric of his jeans. She felt incredibly indecent, the pair of them being so turned on in the middle of a crowded floor, but she was so lost in Kylo that she couldn’t find the will to be ashamed. 

     Suddenly needing him, she tugged his hair tightly to pull him down to her. She kissed him hungrily, her tongue finding his as she breathed him in. Her head swam, so incredibly aroused from such a simple thing. Only Kylo could do this to her. He was like the sun and she a hungry flower, forever turning to meet his light for fear she would shrivel and die otherwise. 

     When the song ended, she was still wrapped around him, kissing him without a care who might be watching. It was only when the music switched to a new beat did she even realize it had ended at all, and she broke from him in a daze of lust. 

      She grinned lazily up at him, leaning into his ear. “So are you sorry you dragged me out here yet?”

     He shook his head at her, smiling softly. “I’ll never be sorry.”

     Her ardent gaze was full as she replied, “Neither will I.”

     She didn’t want to leave him, but unfortunately the large cocktail he’d gotten her earlier was catching up to her. She leaned in close to let him know she needed a restroom, and he tugged her hand in search of it. Navigating through the crowd proved difficult with the upbeat music playing, they were mostly thrashing about jauntily to the pulsing rhythm. 

     They finally made there way to the edge, Kylo spotting a lit up sign for the restrooms down a hall. He sat at the door, telling her he would wait for her until she got back. She ducked down the hall, walking past the men’s room to find the appropriate bathroom, checking the sign twice, she sure didn’t want to make that mistake again. She giggled at her own thoughts. Maybe she was more tipsy than she thought she was.

     After using the bathroom, she quickly washed her hands, giving herself a once over to make sure she hadn’t sweat through her makeup. Satisfied, she thrust her hands under her air dryer, drying them completely before pushing through the door to make her way back outside. Someone was leaving the men’s room as she passed, and she offered a polite excusal as she squeezed by the open door.

     She was just brushing past the man when she heard him call out.

     “Rey?”

     She turned, recognizing that voice. Oh, no, what even were the odds?

     Finn gave her a confused look, taking in her very un-Rey appearance that was much more done up than he’d ever been use to. 

     “Oh, hey Finn.” She said awkwardly. She wished he’d stop staring at her like that.

     “What are you doing here?” He asked incredulously.

     “I’m here with some friends.” She told him.

     “Friends? Like, Rose?” He pressed.

     “Among others, yes.” She said evenly.

     “You look... good.” He said, his eyes raking her up and down. It made her uncomfortable. 

     “Um, thanks. I really should be getting back.” She said nervously. 

     “Hey, wait.” He said, taking a step towards her. As he approached she could smell the strong scent of beer on him, he’d apparently been throwing them back while he was here. 

     “Listen Finn, I don’t want to do this. I’m going now.” She huffed, turning to leave.

     “Fucking stop _doing_ that!” He shouted, grabbing her by the arm. “Stop fucking dissing me.”

     She pulled against his grip futilely, trying to make her way back down the hall to Kylo. “Finn, let me go. You’re drunk.”

     “I don’t _get_  it Rey. Who do you think you are, dumping me?” He slurred, pressing her into the wall behind her. “I didn’t _have_  to give you the time of day, but I did. I even put up with your boring ass when all you ever wanted to do was stay home. Then you have the fucking nerve to embarrass me in front of all my friends?” 

     His grip on her arm tightened, and she cried out from the pain. “Finn, _please_ , let me go. You’ll regret this tomorrow.“

     He huffed, the smell of stale beer washing over Rey and making her gag. “The only thing I regret is ever wasting my time on _you_. Still, we had some good times...” 

     He leaned in, his mouth hovering over hers as if he intended to kiss her. She frantically shoved at his chest, trying to budge him off but failing. She cried out loudly, praying Kylo could hear her from all the way down the hall as she continued to throw her weight against Finn in her attempt to force him off. 

     “Hold still, damnit it’s just a kiss. You owe me that much.” He said roughly, using his other hand to try and pull her face closer to his. 

     Just as she felt tears welling in her eyes, defeat weighing heavy on her, Finn was thrown backwards, his wide frame slamming into the wall behind and sliding to the floor. Kylo moved faster than Rey had ever seen a man move. He flashed his eyes to Rey, his nostrils flaring when he noticed her terrified expression. He stalked over to where Finn lay in a daze, wrenching him up by the collar and easily lifting him to slam him against the wall.

     Finn’s feet dangled helplessly as Kylo held him suspended as if he were nothing. 

     “Let me go you fucking dick.” Finn snarled, fighting against Kylo’s grip futilely. 

     “I will, but first you need to know. If you ever, and I mean _ever_ , put your hands on that girl again, I will personally see to your fucking ribs cracking. Do you understand?” Kylo growled.

     Finn only struggled in response. “Don’t you threaten-”

     Kylo cut him off, lifting him off the wall only to slam him back into it, Finn’s head cracking against the drywall. “ _Do you understand_?”

     “ _Fuck_ , yes. I understand. Let me down, you goddamn psycho.” He said between gasps, his breathing labored as he continued to fight against Kylo’s grip. 

     Kylo let him fall to the floor, Finn’s legs landing unsteadily as he struggled to catch himself from stumbling. “Now, leave. Get the fuck out of this club or I’ll have you removed. Don’t look at Rey, don’t even breathe in her direction. Get the fuck out.”

     Finn gave Kylo a hard look, straining his eyes against the muted lights of the hallway. His face twisted in confusion as he glanced from Kylo to Rey, recognition painting his features. His chest heaved several times as he fought the urge to say something, instead turning and leaving without so much as a backwards glance at Rey. 

     Kylo stood rooted to the spot, breathing heavily as anger rolled off of him in waves. Rey shakily pushed off the wall she was plastered against, taking a tentative step towards him and placing a steadying hand on his tensed forearm. 

     “Kylo?” She asked quietly. 

     He turned, his eyes hard as he stared down at her. He looked at her for several long moments before pulling her into his arms and pressing her tightly against him. 

     “Rey, I’m so sorry. Fuck, I lost it. I didn’t mean to. I heard you shout and then I turned the corner and saw him crowding you and I fucking saw red. Are you okay?” He asked.

     She nodded into his chest. “I’m fine... I can’t believe- I just can’t believe Finn would act like that. He’s never, _ever_  acted that way. In the entire time I’ve known him.” 

     “Finn?” He asked, his head turning to glance in the direction where Finn had stalked off. “So that’s the fucknut. I should have just broken his ribs.”

     She shook her head against him. “Finn’s family has all kinds of connections, I’m glad you didn’t go too far. It wouldn't have been worth the trouble you’d have gotten into.”

     He pushed her back, forcing her to look at him. “You listen to me. I don’t give a shit what the consequences are, if that bag of dicks had went any further than he did I would have stomped his pelvis into powder. Do you understand?”

     She bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes as the stress of what had just happened caught up to her. She nodded slowly, and Kylo used his thumbs to wipe at the liquid pooling in the corners of her eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. He isn’t worth it. Don’t let him ruin your night.”

     She took a deep breath, releasing it shakily as she continued to nod fervently. “You’re right. It just scared me. I’m okay, Kylo. Really, I am. Can we just go back out there and pretend that didn’t happen?”

     He stroked the line of her jaw with his thumb reverently, kissing her softly as he did so. “Glad to. Keeps me from going after the fucknut.”

     She smiled in spite of herself and he took her hand to lead her back out of the hall. They met up with the others on the dance floor, Rey forcing any remaining looks of anxiousness from her face so that she could enjoy the rest of her night. Jyn immediately teased her about her and Kylo’s performance earlier, and Rey found her responding laugh was full and easy. 

     They spent the next few hours having a fantastic time; drinking, dancing, and just enjoying each other’s company. They could never guess that just outside, Finn stood on the sidewalk, pacing the length of the concrete in fury as he pressed his cellphone to his ear. 

     “Dad? It’s me.” He said into the receiver. “I know it’s late- what? I mean yeah I’ve been drinking but I’m going to get an Uber. Listen, _listen_. You still friends with the editor of the LA Times?”

     He paused as he listened for a reply.

     “Fucking excellent. Can I get his number? I think I have some info he’ll be interested in. Yeah, yeah. Great. Text it to me now. Thanks, Dad.”

     He hung up the phone, sliding it into his pocket and rubbing the back of his still throbbing skull. He’d teach that bitch to make a fool of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>  Guess who learned how to make their own gifs from screen recordings? That’s right. Nothing can stop me now.  
> ALSO, ADAM IN SUSPENDERS I AM  
> DEAD AND THIS IS MY GHOST.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. I don’t know why this chapter gave me feels. Partly because I finished writing it watching Love, Simon and that movie made me bawl. Partly because I know what Kylo is thinking and I hurt man.

     Three weeks. That’s how long it had taken everything to go to hell. Rey had known that one day soon the tiny bubble that she and Kylo had enjoyed would burst under the proverbial pin that was the media, but she hadn’t quite expected it to happen so disastrously. Her eyes glanced down to the Sunday edition of the LA times that lay on her bed, her stomach turning as she thought about it once again.

     The curious thing about being completely happy was, there was no where to go but down. She sat up against the headboard of her bed, her ankles crossed and her hands lying listlessly in her lap. She hadn’t cried, she hadn’t really been able to do anything since Rose had called her that morning and told them they needed to grab a paper. That was hours ago, and still Rey couldn’t bring herself to move from the bed.

     Kylo poked his head in the bedroom door, eyes wary as he regarded her. She knew she was probably worrying him, but she couldn’t seem to shake the dark cloud that hung over her.

     “Rey... I’m- I’m so sorry.” He offered regretfully.

     She glanced up at him, unable to tell him it wasn’t his fault. Unable to say that she didn’t regret any of this. Those things were true, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She nodded slightly, her eyes falling back to the large black and white photo that glared at her from atop the front page of the paper.

     The headline, “PUNK PRINCESS FOUND”, was a beacon of her embarrassment, nestled atop the page just over the large still of her back pressed into Kylo, his hands on her hips and his face in her hair. His face was obscured as such, but Rey’s was unmistakable. She was smiling softly, her eyes cast downwards as she assumingely ground against him.

     They had it all, her name, her story, where she went to school, what she had went to school for, everything Finn had known about her was now public record. _Finn_. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she thought about how wrong she’d been about him. How could he do this? He’d been a little bit of a prick in the way their relationship had ended, but she’d chalked it up to being an oblivious frat boy too concerned with partying to maintain a real relationship. She never could have guessed that he was this vindictive, this petty.

     Kylo had broken a coffee cup when he’d read it, throwing it into the sink so hard that it had cracked. His hands had gripped the counter in obvious fury, and Rey knew he wanted nothing more than to track Finn down and make him pay for this breach of privacy. What was worse than the facts of her life on display was the way the newspaper had portrayed her. Rey couldn’t help but think that had been Finn’s doing too, but for all she knew it was just a tactic to sell papers.

     They had painted her like some sort of money grubbing whore, speculating that she had somehow wormed her way into poor Kylo’s life and was now riding his coattails in search of a good time. They had remarked how _lucky_ Rey must feel at having landed into the lap of such a well off celebrity. A regular Cinderella story they’d called it, someone who’d come from nothing that had now somehow ensnared someone beyond their wildest dreams.

     She’d hated it. She’d hated every word. That wasn’t her. That wasn’t _them_. A sob escaped her as she thought of all the people who were reading this right now, speculating over her life, making assumptions, probably attacking her character. Unable to give her any more space, Kylo pushed into the bedroom, climbing up on top of the comforter and sliding beside her against the headboard. He snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest as he stroked her hair.

     She felt his lips brush against her hair, and her resolve broke as she began to cry in earnest. Kylo said nothing, just letting her cry as he softly stroked her hair. It was only when her chest had begun to still from its heaving, her sobs turning into muted sniffles, that he finally spoke.

     “I’m so sorry, Rey.” He repeated quietly.

     “This isn’t your fault.” She said into the wet patch she’d created on his t-shirt.

     “If I hadn’t been so rough with him maybe he wouldn’t have...” He trailed off, thinking.

     She pushed up on her hands, looking at him with red rimmed eyes. “Stop.” She told him. “This is no one’s fault but his, besides, I’m starting to think he might have done it anyway. He’s nothing like the person I thought he was.”

     “Had he given you any signs of aggression before?” Kylo asked, his voice low and dangerous.

     Rey shook her head. “None at all. I hadn’t even spoken to him in _months_ before a couple of weeks ago when I ran into him on campus. He’d told me he wanted me to give him another chance and I’d told him I was seeing someone. He just wouldn’t take a hint. He texted me a couple of times, and then he came by my job at the bookstore.”

     Kylo’s brow furrowed. “You didn’t tell me any of this.”

     “I didn’t think anything of it honestly. I brushed him off each time and he didn’t give me any indication that he was anything more than a mild annoyance.” She groaned.

     Kylo nodded. “If I see him again I’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

     Rey sighed, leaning back into his chest and idly running her hands across the fabric of his t-shirt. “He’d just call in that story too. His dad is a partner at a fancy law firm downtown, he’s well connected and Finn takes full advantage of that.”

     “It might be worth it.” Kylo huffed. 

     “Not if he-” She started before being interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Kylo raised an eyebrow at her in question, to which she only shrugged, having no idea who it was. The knocking continued, growing frantic as Rey rose from the bed to go into the kitchen to answer it. She peered through the peephole before opening the door to let Rose in.

     She came through the door in a hurry, carrying a bag of takeout containers. She was out of breath as if she’d run up the stairs, and she quickly shut the door behind her and locked it.

     “I think there are reporters outside.” She said in a rush.  

     “What?” Rey asked confusedly.

     “I’m telling you, there are at least four sketchy looking guys downstairs in dark glasses with cameras just skulking around.” Rose urged.

     Rey glanced at Kylo who stood against the counter, his arms crossed tight and nostrils flaring. “How would they know where I live?” Rey wondered.

     “Because that motherfucker gave them your address.” Kylo said lowly. 

     “That fucking prick!” Rose shouted. “I swear if I see him again I’m going to turn his nuts into earrings.” 

     “Get in line.” Kylo fumed. He pushed off the counter, making for the door before Rey put a hand to his forearm to halt him. 

     “Where are you going?” She asked him.

     “To get those leeches away from your fucking apartment.” He replied angrily.

     “Kylo, _no_. Don’t go. If you cause a scene then _that_  will be all over the press next and I don’t want you dragged into this anymore than you already are.” She pleaded.

     He glowered back at her, anger still rolling off him in waves as he considered. “This is not okay, Rey. That piece of shit told the fucking press where you _live_. They’ll be out there every fucking day until the next big story comes along. He practically just made you a prisoner in your own home.” 

     “I’m not happy about it, obviously, but I don’t want to hurt your reputation anymore than I already have. Thanks to me you’ve got all this negative attention you don’t deserve and I just can’t stand the thought of causing anymore trouble for you.” She groaned.

     Kylo huffed, wrapping a hand around her nape to pull her close. “Rey, listen to me, I _don’t fucking care_  about my goddamn reputation. Do you understand? What I  _do_  care about is you.”

     She sighed heavily, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning into him to bury her face in his chest. His arms came around her shoulders, hugging her tightly as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. 

     “I know, Kylo. I understand... but stay. Please? For me?” She said softly.

     She heard his answering puff of air pass between his lips, still frustrated- but he nodded against her hair. “If that’s what you want.”

     Rose cut into their little reverie, shaking the bag of food she’d brought and giving them a sympathetic look. “I brought food...” she started. “I didn’t think you’d want to venture out. I’m so glad I did since it looks like you won’t be able to go anywhere today.”

     Rey turned, offering a grateful smile. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

     Rose waved her off. “Don’t even worry about it, I’ll always take care of my girl.”

     Rey walked the short distance between them and pulled Rose’s tiny frame into her own for a tight hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Rose.”

     Rose wrapped her free arm around Rey’s waist, returning the gesture. “Oh girl, you’d manage. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Not that I ever want to find out mind you.”

     They shuffled around Rey’s tiny kitchen table, passing containers and filling plates. They talked as they ate, discussing options of what they could do in their current situation.

     “I think you should just blow town for a little while.” Rose offered.

     “I can’t just pick up and leave.” Rey sighed.

     “Why not? At least for a few days. Hell, the whole week. You have nothing to do until graduation.” Rose shrugged.

     “It’s not a bad idea actually.” Kylo cut in.

     Rey eyed him curiously. “Really? Where would we even go?”

     “I still own my grandparent’s vacation rental off Pebble Beach back in Crescent City...” he said, thinking. “Actually that’s perfect. I’d need to call and have the housekeeper come clean it up...” he trailed off, standing from the table and disappearing into the other room in search of his phone.

     Rose gave Rey a befuddled look, chuckling. “Well, I guess that solves _that_ problem.”

     Rey shrugged. “I guess so.” 

     “It’s going to be okay you know.” Rose told her assuringly. “This will pass.”

     Rey’s shoulders hunched forward, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. “You’re right. It just sucks right now. All this attention.”

     Rose offered a sympathetic expression. “You know that will never completely go away, right? Not with Kylo.”

     Rey nodded. “I know that. It’s just going to be an adjustment on my part I guess.”

     Rose leaned forward, lowering her voice a bit before continuing. “You want that though right? You see this going somewhere long term?”

     Rey bit her lip, nodding softly with her quiet reply. “I hope so.”

     Rose smiled back at her. “Then just let him handle this, I’ve gathered Kylo’s the type to protect his own.”

     Kylo chose that moment to reenter the room, telling someone on the other end of his phone that he would be by sometime tomorrow and to leave the keys in the lockbox. He hung up, dropping the phone on the table and glancing at an expectant Rey. 

     “It’s handled. Cassian is booking us a flight for tomorrow morning. He’ll be here before five to drive us to the airport. Surely the fucking vultures won’t sleep in your bushes tonight and we can sneak out.” He groused.

     “How long are we staying?” Rey asked.

     Kylo shrugged. “As long as you want. I’d say just stay all week. We can come home Friday before your graduation. Surely by then they’ll have found a new story to exploit.” 

     “Thank you.” Rey told him. “I’m sorry to cause so much trouble.”

     “Don’t apologize. I get you all to myself for a week, this is a win-win for me.” He said with a wink, causing her to giggle softly. 

     “There she is.” He said with a smile. “I thought I’d lost her there for a minute.”

     Rose sighed dramatically. “Oh, brother.” She said, laughing. “ I’d better go before you two start reciting poetry or some shit.”

     Rey rolled her eyes, shaking her head as Rose got up from the table to leave. She hugged Rey once more, telling her to call her and check in when she could and to try and not stress too much. To Kylo she added, “Take care of my girl there, punk boy.”

     His mouth turned up in a lopsided grin. “Always.”

     Hours later, after all the details had been worked out for their trip and their bags had been packed, Rey sat at the head of her bed, Kylo’s long form nestled between her legs as his head lay in her lap. She idly ran her fingers through his thick locks, letting her nails drag lightly over his scalp as she did so. He sighed contently, his eyes closed as he let her have her way with his unruly mop of hair.

     “Mm, no one has played with my hair since... shit, since I was like six.” He hummed.

     “Your mom?” She asked.

     “Mhm. My hair has always been a mess, she used to say it would grow two inches before I even got up from the barber’s chair.” He told her, eyes still closed.

     “Do you... do you ever miss her?” She pressed tentatively. 

     He leaned back, opening his eyes to look up at her. “Sometimes.”

     “I bet she misses you too.” Rey said softly.

     His eyes held hers, the soft light of her  bedside lamp making the normally dark coffee colored irises seem almost amber. “You think?”

     She nodded. “Who wouldn’t miss you?”

     There was an emotion in his eyes she couldn’t place, some ghost of regret tinged with a sadness she had never seen in him. “You know...” he said thickly. “for almost ten years I’ve held on to all this anger at my mother. I’ve never once looked back to  regret my decision to cut her out of my life. In my head she deserved it, and I was better off without her. It wasn’t until...” his chest rose and fell heavily, the conversation obviously hard for him. “It wasn’t until I met you that I started thinking that maybe I missed out on some things.”

     “Me?” Rey asked, bewildered.

     “You’re just so... you’re so god damned perfect Rey and maybe if I... fuck. Rey, I...  I need to tell you that I... _fuck_.” He was spiraling, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes and letting out a frustrated sigh. Rey’s heart broke for him then, whatever haunted him was truly upsetting him. 

     She took his hands in hers, pulling them from his eyes and leaning over to kiss him. He was surprised at first, his eyes wide before softly closing, sighing softly into her mouth as she felt his whole body relax slightly. When his breathing was normal again, she separated from him, her face inches from his as her hair made a soft curtain around him. 

     “Shh.” She said against his mouth. “It’s okay.”

     “Rey, I _have_ to tell you-” he urged. 

     “No. You don’t. Not if it’s this hard. You tell me when you’re ready.” She told him. 

     He let out a pent up breath, reaching up to thread his fingers through her hair, pulling her down for another kiss. “So perfect.” He said softly against her mouth.

     What started as soft and sweet quickly caught fire, him pulling at her hair to try and get closer to her. The inverted angle at which they were sitting proved awkward, and Kylo rolled, coming up on his hands and knees before tugging her lower to settle underneath him. He settled over her, winding his hands into her hair as his mouth covered hers. His bruising kiss made her heart race, his seeking tongue made her head swim, and she could only fist her hands in the soft material of his shirt as she struggled to stay sane. 

     She tugged the fabric upwards, needing to feel more of him, and he leaned back to pull it over his head. His abdomen tightened and coiled at the motion, and she couldn’t help but run her hands over the corded muscle there. He shuddered under her touch, tossing his shirt onto the floor before reaching for hers to do the same. 

     She’d been dressed for sleep, wearing only a t-shirt and underwear, and when he fell over her again they were skin to skin, all warm touch and racing hearts. He slid his hand, those _impossibly_ large hands, down the length of her side, curving over her hip and sliding underneath her thigh before tracing a path back up to her underwear. He fumbled with the hem, trying to wrench them down but the angle proved too awkward and he couldn’t stop kissing her long enough to lean back and make the task easier. 

     He groaned into her mouth, a rush of air releasing from his nostrils in frustration before he finally gave up, tugging hard on the fabric. Rey heard the elastic of her underwear stretch and break, the flimsy material crumbling into nothing under the force of his hand. He tossed them, adding them to the pile on the floor. 

     The only thing separating them was the soft mesh of his shorts, and Rey squirmed beneath him, needing more. She roughly tugged at the elastic hem, bunching them down his hips before wrapping her legs around him to press them further down his legs with her foot. He shifted, raising his legs one by one to aid her in her mission. 

     Finally, _finally_ , she could feel him, hot and hard and _so right_ , pressed against her in a way that made her dizzy. He rocked against her, the length of him parting her, sliding through her slick folds and nudging against her sensitive clit. She whimpered into his mouth, and he repeated the motion mercilessly until she was practically shaking with need. 

     Unable to hold back any longer, he dipped his hips, sinking into her slowly, _so slowly_ , pressing until his hips were flush with hers. He held, his head falling to her shoulder as his breath came out in sharp gasps. He made a sound in his throat, the barest hint of a moan as he struggled not to lose himself. He arched backwards, dragging his cock against her inner walls with that same _agonizing_ slowness. Rey felt every part of him as he withdrew, her head nothing but white noise as the sensation stole her breath. 

     He fell into a tortuous rhythm, the agonizing push before the punishing withdraw. Again, and again, and _again_. Rey couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, couldn’t _breathe_. She wanted him to go faster, she wanted him to _slow down_. She didn’t know which way was up, she only knew that if he stopped what he was doing the whole _world_  might stop turning. 

     She felt his fingers glide over her skin, a tickle of awareness as his thick digits traced a path down the length of her body. His forehead pressed against hers, their breath intermingling between them as one entity. His hand continued down, dipping between her legs to press into the taut bud of her clit. He stroked her the same way he made love to her, slow, wonderful, _torturous_. Rey actually thought she might die like this, thinking to herself that if she could choose, this would be the way to go.

     When she came, the world went white as colors faded and sounds died and she was only feeling and sensation and _bliss_. Her legs tightened around him as she clamped down on him, crying out loudly as her head fell backwards, mouth parted and eyes closed. She felt herself convulse around him, her inner walls fisting him tightly as she rode out her orgasm. He shakily thrust into her once, twice, three more times before holding, letting out a shout as he slammed his hand into the headboard, gripping it so tight Rey thought it might break. 

     Rey’s legs remained wound around him, not yet willing to let him go. She never wanted to lose this moment, this _feeling_. Never had she felt more connected to someone than in this moment. She felt words and emotions she couldn’t articulate bubbling up in her chest only to die on her lips. It made no sense to feel this way. It had no reason.

     When she finally released him, he reluctantly pulled out of her, kissing her softly before falling to his back beside her. He pulled her up and over him, her head coming to rest on his chest, her ear pressed to his heart. She listened to the steady rhythm, finding the sound the most beautiful thing she’d ever heard. 

     “That was...” she started softly.

     “I know.” Was all he said.

     She snuggled further into his chest, seeking the warmth of his body as she clung to him. “Kylo...” she said quietly. “this thing... _us_... the way I feel... it scares me. It’s so _much_. Is this normal?”

     “I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way before Rey... but don’t be afraid.” He murmured, pressing his lips to her hair and closing his eyes. “I feel it too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? It’s Sunday. Why are we here? What is this madness?  
> A couple things, I MAY have written most of the rest of the story in the last couple days.  
> I MAY be doing daily updates till we’re done. (Jenna willing and barring any disasters mind you.)  
> This... this is the last truly fluffy chapter for awhile. Sad is coming... and I wanted to give you guys one last happy day.  
> Welcome to Pink Week!  
> Moodboard gifted to me by the wonderful [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae)! <3

   

* * *

 

     Monday morning was a bustle of activity; Cassian had showed up before five in the morning as promised to pick them up for the airport. They left Rey’a apartment dressed in dark clothes and hurriedly made their way to the waiting Maybach before climbing in and pulling away from the street. 

     Rey had chosen to dress comfortably in a Dr. Who t-shirt she’d had since high school, paired with soft cotton shorts that she normally reserved for sleeping. Kylo on the other hand was set on torturing her, wearing her favorite grey jeans with a soft blue shirt and black suspenders. She found her eyes lingering just a moment too long more than once, but that was almost a given for her at this point.

     The ride was a quiet one, partly from the pair of them being tired but also because Rey was still thinking about the fact that she was having to flee her home because she had no choice. It was times like these that she was almost glad she had no parents, there was no one to be disappointed in her. No one to judge her actions. Well except for... oh, no. _Leia_. It hadn’t even occurred to her before now but Leia would undoubtedly see this. She’d been lucky the last time, Leia wasn’t one to read gossip mags. This was the _LA Times_ , though. There was no way she wouldn’t see it.

     Rey groaned into the seat, causing Kylo to glance over at her. “What’s wrong?”

     “Leia will see the article.” Rey whined. “She gets her paper through the mail, so it always comes a day late... but she’ll see it. Today most likely.”

     Kylo’s expression was tight, thinking. “I’m sure she won’t make any unecessary judgements. From what you’ve told me she seems to love you, right?”

     Rey nodded. “She’s the closest thing to a mother that I’ve got.”

     Kylo’s eyes flicked down to his lap, watching his hands wring together as he worked his jaw. “Then I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.” He said quietly.

     Rey assumed he was feeling guilty for causing her distress, and she reached across the space to take his hand in hers. She squeezed it gently, rubbing her thumb across the back in comfort. “You’re right. One way or another it’ll be okay.”

     He gave her hand a returning squeeze, offering her the barest hint of a smile. They spent the remainder of the drive in silence, Rey closing her eyes to doze.

     Kylo gently shook her awake almost an hour later, having arrived at the hangar for the private airline Cassian had chartered out of Burbank. It was the only airline offering a oneway flight directly to Ward Field outside of Crescent City, and Rey shuddered to think at how much money Kylo had spent to book something at such short notice.

     Cassian went to the trunk to bring their bags, and Kylo followed to help him. Rey tried to take one from them to help out, but Kylo shook his head and Cassian only gave her a stern look. She followed after them through the sliding automatic doors into a brightly lit reception area. A tall, lithe woman with brightly colored lavender hair stood behind the counter, smiling brightly at them.

    Rey eyes glanced down to her name tag that read, “Amilyn”, and she returned the kind woman’s smile, thankful that they at least wouldn’t be subjected to any early morning attitude after everything else they’d went through.

     “Good morning, can I help you?” Amilyn asked them kindly.

     Cassian pulled up their confirmation number on his phone, showing the note to the receptionist, who quickly tapped at her keyboard to pull up their information. “Ah, I see you’re all set for a 6:15 flight? You’re right on time. I’ll just go let the captain know you’re here.”

     Kylo nodded. “Good.” Turning to Cassian he added, “Did you email me the confirmation for the rental service?”

     Cassian gave him a disgruntled look, as if that were an obvious answer.

      Kylo chuckled, taking Rey’s bags from slinging them over his shoulder. “Should have known I guess.”

      Cassian turned to leave them, but Rey grabbed his arm. “Thank you,” she told him as he looked at her confusedly. “For coming to pick us up so early.”

      He nodded, his expression softening somewhat. “For what it’s worth...” he offered, his lilting accent giving the words more weight somehow. “I’m sorry that this happened to you.”

      She smiled at him, thinking maybe Cassian wasn’t as grumpy as he seemed to be. He left them standing alone in the waiting area, making his way back outside to the car. 

      “He really is kind of a good guy, isn’t he?” Rey asked Kylo.

      Kylo nodded. “He’s always been a hard man to know, but somehow he seems more ... apart of things since he’s been involved with Jyn. He never talks about her, but I know somethings going on.”

      Rey had to agree. “I just wish they’d spill.”

      Kylo shrugged. “They will when they’re ready.”

      Amilyn came back then, her kind smile still affixed firmly in place. “We’re ready for you.”

      Kylo hauled their bags, still not allowing Rey to help carry them, and they walked past the roped off area towards the sleek charter plane waiting in the large hangar. A man was standing outside the small plane at the bottom of the stairs, his back turned to them as he reviewed a list on a clipboard. He was dressed in navy slacks, his stark white button down clashing with his dark wavy hair.

     He turned when he heard them approach, folding the clipboard to his chest as he smiled in greeting. “Morning folks, how are we doing?”

     Rey squinted, something about the man’s face familiar. She was pretty sure she was staring awkwardly, and still hadn’t given him a response but she knew she recognized him from somewhere. 

     Kylo put it together before she did, his mouth parting slightly as his eyes widened in recognition. “Hey- I know you. You’re the bartender... you were at Canto Bight Friday night. Poe?”

      It clicked for Rey then, he looked so much different in such professional looking clothing than he had as a bartender. Poe scratched his head, squinting slightly as he tried to place them.

      “Oh hey, yeah. I remember you. Sat your girl on my counter. Didn’t know till yesterday I had a damn celebrity at my bar. How are ya, fella? Y’all skipping town? I’m real sorry about all this horseshit y’all are dealing with.” He said sincerely. 

      Kylo nodded. “The little dickhole told the press where she lived.”

      “Ah, you serious? What an asshole. What’s his name? I’ll make sure he’s never welcome in the club at least.” He told them.

      Rey told him, and Poe scratched Finn’a name down on his clipboard. “If you don’t mind me asking,”  Rey started. “if you’re a pilot... what are you doing bartending on the weekends?”

      “I don’t do it full time or nothing, my uncle owns the place. He put me through flight school by letting me pay it off working at one of his clubs. Flew me out here all the way from Oklahoma and let me stay with him through school. I still fill in when he’s short and I’m free. Figure I owe him that much.” He shrugged. 

     “Oklahoma?” Kylo asked. “I didn’t think you sounded local.”

     Poe grinned. “Stillwater born and bred. Go Cowboys and all that.”

     Kylo laughed. “Cool, man. Well hey, we appreciate you flying us out.”

     Poe just waved him off. “Don’t even sweat it. Glad to help. Y’all ready to go?”

     They told him as much, and he directed them up the stairs into the cabin. Kylo stowed their bags in the overhead compartment, and helped Rey into her seat before sliding in next to her. Poe came up the aisle, closing the door to the plane behind them. 

     “Now there won’t be any attendant on this flight since it’s so short, but I’ll be just up there in the cockpit if you need me. Feel free to knock on my door if y’all have to. It’s about a two hour flight to Ward Field.” He informed them, turning to head towards the cockpit, sliding the door shut behind him. 

     Poe flipped the “Fasten Seatbelts” signs on, and they did so, strapping in as he announced over the speakers they’d be taking off soon. 

     Soon after Rey heard the plane roar to life, the engines rumbling effectively as Poe finished the final preflight checks. It was no time at all before the plane lurched forward, gliding easily out of the hangar and eventually lifting off into the air on its way. 

     Poe turned off the seatbelt warning, and Kylo unbuckled, stretching in the seat beside her as he made to get more comfortable. Rey did the same, grabbing her book from her carry on bag to try and finish. 

     Kylo eyed it, flicking his eyes to hers in question. “How’s that coming?”

     She shrugged. “I’m almost done. He just left the entire book he’d written about their lives on her doorstep and he’s waiting to see if she’ll forgive him.”

     “Do you think she should?” He asked evenly. 

     He gave her an odd look as he asked, which confused Rey. She didn’t realize he was so invested in her book. She’d gushed to him a little bit about what had happened so far, but he’d seemed only slightly interested. “Mm, I don’t know if she _should_. I hope she does though. I love Ben, even if he should have told her way sooner that he knew who she was.”

     “He was probably scared.” Kylo said, looking out of the window at the ground far below.

     Rey thought about it. “Yeah, I mean I guess so. Still, _all_  that time they spent together was basically a lie.”

     Kylo nodded thoughtfully, still looking out the window. “Let me know how it ends.” 

     She cocked an eyebrow, wondering where his sudden moodiness was coming from. She chalked it up to fatigue and still being on edge from the newspaper fiasco, and leaned into him to get comfortable before opening her book to where she’d left off. 

     It was almost an hour later when she finished, Kylo had dozed off in the seat beside her and she felt hot tears welling up in her eyes. Her shoulders shook slightly, not wanting to embarrass herself by getting all emotional over a book but not being able to help herself. She wiped at her eyes frantically, tears streaming out over her cheeks anyway despite her effort. Kylo must have felt the movement, leaning up suddenly as he jolted awake.

     “Mm, Rey?” He said sleepily, taking in her tearful expression. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

     She waved a hand emphatically in front of her face, willing her emotions to get ahold of themselves. “Oh I’m just being ridiculous. I finished the book... it was just such a sweet ending.”

     “Did they work it out?” He asked.

     “They did. It was so beautiful. There was one line...” she trailed off, flipping through the pages to find it. “Ah, here it is.” She said as she went to read aloud.

_“I didn’t come here to forgive you.”_

_“You were sixteen,” she says. “You had been through one of the worst things a child could ever experience. Your actions from that night weren’t because you were a bad person, Ben. It was because you were a scared teenage boy and sometimes people make mistakes. You’ve carried so much guilt for what you did, and for so long. You can’t ask for my forgiveness, because there’s nothing to forgive. If anything, I’m here for your forgiveness. Because I know your heart, Ben, and your heart is only capable of love.”_

     Rey sighed, holding the book to her chest and wiping another stray tear from her eye. “I’m sorry,” she told Kylo. “I’m being a complete sap right now. I’m blaming on it being so early in the morning.”

     He shook his head, chewing on his lip slightly. “Don’t apologize. That sounds... nice.”

     Rey laughed. “Sorry, you don’t care about some silly chick book.”

     “It sounds really good actually. Maybe I’ll read it.” He said, shrugging.

     She eyed him suspiciously. “ _Sure_ , you will.”

     He shrugged again. “Never know.”

     He made to look out the window again, and Rey took the opportunity to study him. Her eyes roved over the strong set of his jaw, covered in more stubble than normal as he hadn’t shaved this weekend. Her gaze fell then on his mouth, his full lips never ceasing to make her flush as she remembered all the things he’d done with them. 

     “You’re staring at me.” He said, grinning slightly. 

     “What? No I wasn’t.” She denied quickly. 

     He tapped the glass of the window. “I can see your reflection.”

     She blushed, ducking her head as she smiled, caught. “I can’t help it.”

     He turned, still smiling widely at her. “I like that you like looking at me.”

     “Well... good. I can’t seem to stop.” She laughed. 

     He stretched, the fabric of his shirt pulling tight across his chest as he did so and not mention his suspenders. _Oh, his suspenders_. Rey swallowed hard, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. It wasn’t even eight in the morning, how could she be so keyed up right now? He stood suddenly, murmuring about using the restroom. She watched him go, paying particular attention to the way his grey jeans hugged his firm backside. He disappeared down the aisle, and she heard a door slide open before closing again.

     Rey pressed her legs together tighter, trying to ease the pressure that had built there when she’d been shamelessly checking out Kylo. Her skin was warm, too warm for the cool temperature of the cabin, and she fanned herself aimlessly. It was no use, she was hopelessly turned on and nothing to be done about it. What was wrong with her? 

     When Kylo returned, she was desperately trying not to meet his eyes, training them instead to her lap where she gripped her thighs tightly, bunching the material of her cotton shorts. Kylo noticed her strange behavior, reaching over to take her hand. 

     “Rey? What’s wrong? Your face is all red.” He said curiously. 

     She shook her head, feeling her ears grow hot as her face surely followed suit. She couldn’t even look at him without thinking inappropriate things. It was like once she opened that door she couldn’t find the will to close it. She pressed her legs closer together, the throbbing sensation between them too much to ignore. 

     Kylo pressed a hand to her forehead, sliding it down to her cheek to check on her. “You feel warm too. Are you sick?”

     She swallowed, her throat dry. “I uh... I’m not sick.” She said thickly. “Kylo, um, have you ever heard of the pilot leaving the cockpit on a private charter?”

     He scrunched up his nose in confusion. “No...? Especially not on this short of a flight. Why do you-” he couldn’t finish his sentence, as Rey had pulled up the armrest between them in the double seat, pulling his face down to hers to kiss him. He was surprised at first, not understanding what was going on, but it took only a moment for him to bring his hands up to rest on her hips, tugging her closer.

     She ran her hands up the hard planes of his abdomen, continuing upwards to press firmly into his chest. Kylo groaned into her mouth, gripping her hips so tightly Rey was almost sure there would be a bruise there later. It should have turned her off, but it only made her burn more, thinking about him leaving a mark on her, a reminder. 

     He broke away from her, gasping, his pupils so wide his eyes looked almost black. “You’re _horny_?” He said incredulously.

     She bit her lip, looking sheepish. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

     “Fucking _nothing_.” He told her vehemently, casting a wild glance to the door of the cockpit. “Come here.” He pat his lap frantically, wordlessly tell her to straddle him. 

     She did so, sliding her legs on either side of his to sit facing him. She could feel him pressed between her legs, already straining against the zipper of his jeans. She rocked against him and the dense fabric created a delicious friction through the thin material of her shorts. She repeated the motion, causing Kylo to groan before reaching between them to pull aside the cotton material at the junction of her thighs. He tugged at her shorts and underwear, pulling them as far to the side as he could before sinking two long fingers inside her. He hummed in approval when he found her already wet for him. 

     “We’re going to have to be quick.” He rasped. 

     She nodded fervently, leaning to run her tongue over the sensitive shell of of his ear. He shuddered beneath her, grinding his fingers deeper inside and causing her to bite down instinctively. Her teeth clicked against the gauge resting in his ear lobe, and he hissed between his teeth in pleasure. 

     “ _Kylo_.” She whispered, her breath tickling over his ear and causing him to groan. 

     “ _Rey_ ,” he breathed, still pumping his fingers in and out of her in rapid succession. “Undo my zipper.”

     She fumbled for the button, snapping it open and tugging on the zipper. As always, there were no further barriers barring her from what she was after. She reached into his jeans, palming the warm length before pulling it from it’s confines and squeezing it lightly. Kylo rolled his hips upwards into her hand, his cock already leaking at the tip. She took a thumb and smeared the liquid across the head; it was darkening with every second, turning an angry red as Rey continued to touch him. 

     He pulled his fingers out of her suddenly, instructing her to hold her shorts and underwear to the side. She obeyed, tugging the fabric as far as it would go as he lifted her up before seating her on his hardness. 

     Rey cried out softly as he sunk into her; her legs were spread so widely around him that he was able to hit so _deep_. 

     “ _Move_ , Rey.” He demanded. “Finish what you started.”

     He hooked a finger once more into her shorts, holding everything aside so she could steady her hands on his shoulders. She gripped the taut muscle there, lifting her hips to glide over his length before dropping back down. Kylo’s entire upper body tightened, leaning forward slightly as his head ducked, his hair falling to cover his face. Rey sought his face with her own, pressing her mouth to his, bringing a hand up from his shoulder to let her nails scrape lightly against the stubble on his jaw.

     She lifted again, this time coming back down harder, eliciting a moan from Kylo that she swallowed up with her own mouth. She let her tongue roll over his, her hand skirting up the back of his neck to fist in his hair. She picked up her pace, bobbing down on him in a steady rhythm that had Kylo shaking beneath her. She felt his hips jerk, and she knew he was close. 

     She broke from his mouth, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth and nibbling it softly. “Kylo,” she breathed into his mouth. “ _Touch me_.”

     He wasted no time, pressing a thumb into her clit and stroking a pattern of mind numbing circles. She clenched her thighs, struggling to keep her rhythm under his assault. Her back arched, her hips shaking  as she felt her orgasm building. Unable to keep still, Kylo snapped his hips, meeting her thrust for thrust. Rey moaned, the sound amplified in the tiny space and Kylo leaned in to kiss her fiercely, ensuring she stay quiet. 

     When Rey felt his body tense, his thrusts growing erratic, she knew he was holding back, waiting for her. “ _Come_ , Kylo. _Please_.” She rasped against his mouth.

     Her words pushed him over the edge, and she felt him jerk and twitch inside her as warmth flooded her insides. He never relented the steady rhythm on her throbbing clit, and she jerked against his touch, trying both to get closer and escape from the onslaught of sensation. 

     Her breathing had been reduced to a series of mewling pants, and Kylo swallowed them up with his mouth, invading her with his tongue. He picked up the pace with his thumb, and the friction was just enough to send her tumbling over the edge, her body tensing as she shook with climax. Kylo never relented, stroking her and causing tiny aftershocks to wrack through her. 

     She was jolted when Poe’s voice rang out over the intercom, nearly making her heart jump out of her chest. 

    _“Hey guys, we’ll be coming up on Ward Field shortly and beginning our descent. So sit tight.”_

     Kylo glanced down between them, still seated firmly within Rey, and gave her a wicked look. “I’d say we’ve got it covered.”

     Rey giggled, smacking his shoulder. “Terrible.”

     He gently lifted her off him, groaning as he did so, and sat her in the opposite seat as he tucked himself back into his jeans and fastened them. He leaned back into the seat, grinning softly and looking much too pleased with himself. 

     “Oh, I almost forgot.” He said to himself. He leaned to dig in the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone. He pressed the home button, starting up the assistance app and speaking into it. “Note to self: high altitudes turn Rey into a deviant.”

     Rey laughed out loud, pinching his side and causing him to twist away, grinning deviously. He pulled the phone back to his mouth, pressing the buttons once more and speaking. “Also, remind me to look into buying a plane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>      Kylo was still smiling much later when they were in the car, thinking back to how embarrassed Rey had been with Poe when he’d seen them off the plane. Rey jumping him mid flight had been the most unexpected thing- not that he was complaining. Her face had flushed prettily when Poe had asked if they’d had a pleasant flight, and Rey had pinched Kylo when he’d responded that they had, maybe a little too suggestively. 

     She was looking out the window now, taking in the sights of the drive as they neared the ocean. He was admittedly excited to show her his grandparent’s rental property, it was the very same one he’d stayed at almost every Summer as a child. He was still anxious though, it was only a matter of time before her phone rang and his mother spilled everything. Maybe he could feign ignorance, it wasn’t that far fetched that he wouldn’t have worked it out that they were the same person. 

     He knew that was terrible of him to even consider, and he mentally chastised himself for even thinking it. His mother would no doubt tell Rey the _other_  glaring secret he’d been keeping, and there was no explaining _that_ away anyway. He sighed, knowing that everything was about to come to a head. It was selfish of him to have lured her out here where she would be forced to stick around, no choice but to listen to him when he explained. 

     He promised himself that the minute they got to the house, he would sit her down and just get it all out there. She’d be furious, fuck, who could blame her, but he _knew_ she felt the same way about him that he did for her. They’d get through it. He just knew they would. 

     “You okay? You’re frowning over there.” Rey asked him suddenly, breaking through his thoughts.

     “Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” He said evenly, forcing his expression into a less dreary one. 

     “It’s so pretty here.” She remarked, watching the rocky landscape bleed into the connecting ocean beyond. 

     “It is. I used to love coming here.” He told her.  

     “How long has it been?” She asked.

     “Mm... three years? I spent a drunken weekend here with Hux a while back for his birthday. Poor housekeeper had a hell of a time cleaning that one up.” He grimaced at the memory, still feeling bad for the state they’d left the house in.

     Rey giggled. “Wish I could have seen that.” 

     He eyed her bleakly. “Yeah, me too.”

     He pulled off the main road, heading down the winding drive that led to the private sector of beach that was attached to the house. It was surrounded by rocky cliffs on either side, fenced off at the peaks to create a tiny secluded lagoon. His grandfather, or Ani as most had called him, used to say it was so he could convince his grandmother to run around topless, which usually earned him a jab to the gut. Padme was not a woman you wanted to try and embarrass. 

     The quaint blue siding of the cottage came into view, its stark white metal roof and matching white shutters giving it a cool, beach house feel. The drive and attached walkway up to the house were paved in stones that his grandfather had gathered himself from the beach, then set with concrete. Kylo parked the car in the drive, exiting the car and walking around to open Rey’s door.

     Rey took in their surroundings with wide eyes, her mouth open as she awed over the bright morning sun rising over the crisp blue water of the ocean. 

     “This is _amazing_!” She exclaimed gleefully. 

     He smiled down at her, happy to see her so happy again. She’d been so depressed yesterday. It had scared the shit out of him. He sighed again, knowing he was about to fuck it all up again. He marched up the walkway, Rey trailing happily behind, and punched a code into the lockbox near the door to grab the house key. 

     He opened up the house, leading Rey inside to show her around. The entire house was lined with light pine walls, bleeding down into dark wood plank tiles all throughout. The kitchen was just off the living room that they’d entered into, and the countertops were made bright white stone that contrasted heavily with the dark flooring. Anakin and Padme had always had a thing for light and dark contrasts. 

     Rey gushed over the wood burning stove that stood in the center of the living room, having never seen one before. Kylo promised to show her how it worked later. He led her down the hall to show her the small guest room, and then crossed the hall to the houses only bathroom. The over abundant seashell decor was a little much for Kylo, but Rey was awing over it like it was the most perfect thing. 

     He finally led her into the large master bedroom, a giant king sized bed taking up a large portion of the space with its down, white comforter. She flounced onto it, snuggling into the soft comforter and sighing contently. 

     “Mm. This is heaven.” She said dreamily. 

     He smiled, thinking to himself that he’d show her heaven later hopefully, if she’d still let him. “Hey, I’m going to go get the bags and then... I need to talk to you about something.” 

     She perked her head up, giving him a confused expression. “What is it?”

     “Let me just go get our bags first, I’ll be right back.” He said, leaving the room as shutting the door behind him before she could question him further. He wanted to make sure she couldn’t hop in the car and make a quick getaway after. He needed her to stick around and hear him out. 

     He left the house, making his way back to the car to open the trunk. He pulled out all three of their bags, why Rey needed an entire extra bag just for toiletries and such was beyond him, and hoisted them over his shoulder to bring them inside. The zipper to Rey’s bag must not have been done all the way, and when Kylo jostled it it blew open, the contents spilling out onto the drive. 

     “ _Fuck_.” He said to himself, bending down to gather up her hairdryer and other toiletries. He ducked after the escaping toothbrush holder, tossing it back into the bag where it belonged. He finally got everything gathered back up, zipping the bag tightly before lifting it again. He carried their things up the drive and into the house, dropping them by the door. 

     He made to return to the bedroom where he’d left Rey, but he heard her voice wafting out of the room. He quietly walked up to the door, leaning into it to hear what she was saying. 

     “Yes. It’s been a nightmare.” She told someone.

     “Mhm, I know, I know, I should have told you who I was dating sooner. I just couldn’t believe it myself, Leia.” 

     Kylo’s heart raced. _Fuck_. He was sure he’d had more time. He bit his fist to keep from shouting, not knowing whether he should burst through the door and hang up her phone or hang back and let this play out. 

     “I mean... yes, it’s been weird being with someone so famous... but Kylo is so... hm, down to Earth? Half the time I forget he’s even a celebrity. Well, until stuff like this happens I suppose.”

     What was going on? Why was his mother not spilling everything? There was no way in _hell_  she hadn’t kept up with him all these years. 

     “I know, I’m glad you called. Everything will be okay. You’re right.” She paused, Leia saying something to her on the other end. 

     “Yeah, I really do. He’s just... he’s wonderful, Leia.”

     Kylo’s chest tightened. He couldn’t believe his good luck. For whatever reason, his mother wasn’t outing him. He didn’t know what angle she was playing, but it meant he had more time. More time to tell her all he needed to. He let out a pent up breath, quietly backing away from the doorway and heading to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. Thank fuck he’d thought to have the housekeeper stock it for him. 

     He took a long swig from the bottle, draining it before setting it down in the counter. He willed his racing heart to calm itself, knowing Rey would be walking out of the bedroom at any moment and that he more than likely looked antsy as fuck. He thought back to his mother, he couldn’t be sure what game she was playing, but he knew she wasn’t ignorant. For all she was she had always been sharp as a tack, and whatever reason she had for keeping it quiet, it was one she was using for her own advantage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old Porn Oprah can’t come to the phone right now.  
> Why?  
> Because she’s dead.  
> 

     Rey hung up the phone, feeling much better about everything after her talk with Leia. She’d been supportive, as Rey should have known she would be. She told her not to let the media decide who she was because she already _knew_ who she was. She’d been very curious about Kylo, asking Rey what he was like. Rey supposed that was her protective motherly instincts coming out. Rey had assured her that Kylo was perfect.

     She thought back to the question Leia had asked her before they’d hung up, still reeling with her answer.

_“So this boy... you see yourself being with him for a long time?”_

_“Yeah, I really do. He’s just... he’s wonderful Leia.”_

     She rose from the bed, wondering where Kylo had ran off to. He’d wanted to talk to her about something. He’d looked kind of serious when he’d said it, and that made her nervous. She left the bedroom to go find him. He was standing at the counter in the kitchen, and empty beer bottle in front of him as he stood with his back to her.

     “Kylo?” She asked. “Hey, sorry, Leia called.”

     He turned to look at her, his eyes tight. “How did that go?”

     She shrugged. “Well actually. I guess you were right and I was worried over nothing. Leia was very supportive.” 

     “That’s good.” He said evenly. He seemed a little edgy.  

     “What’s wrong? Didn’t you want to talk to me about something?” She asked him. 

     His eyes widened just slightly as he turned his head to stare at the counter. He worked his jaw, thinking before speaking again. “Oh I... I was just going to tell you I was sorry.” He told her, his head lifting slightly to look at her again. “I’m sorry for being the cause of all this. You don’t deserve it.” 

     She frowned. Was that what he’d been worrying about? She closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.  

     “Kylo... it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Even if it was... I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything. Especially not only to keep my name out of a paper. This will pass, and even if it doesn’t, to me... you’re worth it.” She said into his t-shirt. 

     He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her hair. “I don’t deserve you.”

     She rubbed her cheek against his chest. “Yes, you do. Now... let’s just have a good week shall we?” She told him, leaning back to smile up at him.

     He returned her grin, nodding. “Yeah, definitely.”

*

     A good week they had indeed; Kylo taking her to all his favorite spots around Crescent City. They spent an entire afternoon on the beach one day, the sun setting over the water as they continued to snuggle on a blanket. He’d made love to her that night on the sand, and it would be an experience that she would never forget. 

    He’d also taken her to a tiny diner on the mainland, one that he said his grandfather had taken him to every Sunday when he was here visiting. It was a quaint little place called Mos Eisley’s, and had the most delicious food that Rey had ever eaten. 

    On Thursday evening he’d made plans to finally to take her to the Redwood forest outside of town, practically bursting in excitement to be able to go again. They would spend their last day there, Rey not quite ready for the week to end. She hoped they could come back to this place often. She even told him that she could see herself living here one day on a whim before she could stop herself. He’d been so blissfully happy over her words that he’d carried her straight to the bedroom and proceeded to wear her out until she could do nothing but pass out in his arms. 

     They’d spent most of their nights that way, falling asleep in each other’s arms spent from having been with each other. As far as Rey was concerned, there was no better way to fall asleep. Which made Kylo’s impending tour overseas seem that much more threatening. How would she be without him for so long after having gotten so use to being so near him? It was making her reconsider his offer to come with him. Would it be so bad to just wait a year? People did it all the time. She was so young, and Kylo was right, her degree wasn’t going anywhere. Maybe there was something to it. She made a mental note before falling asleep that night to bring it up to him the next day.  

     The day in question arrived much too soon, and Rey found herself somewhat sad over the prospect of it being their last day before returning to the real world. Kylo had made her avoid social media all week, blocking her off from anymore potential articles that might crop up. He was loading their pack into the car now, and she watched him from the doorway as he flitted about, excited about the trip ahead. He’d dressed in dark green cargo shorts, foregoing suspenders over his crisp white v-neck and pairing it all with tan hiking boots. He rather looked like a little kid save for the abundance of tattoos stemming out of his sleeves, and Rey couldn’t help but giggle. 

     He glanced up at her from the car, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you laughing at me?”

     She shrugged. “A little. You’re just so cute.”

     He scrunched up his nose. “ _Cute_?” He said the word as if it offended him. “I’m not _cute_. I’m ruggedly handsome.” 

     Rey laughed loudly at his indignation. “Of course you are. Such a big, strong man.”

     “You’re asking for it there, Rey.” He growled.  

     She winked at him, leaving her perch on the porch to sidle up to the car. She’d dressed in plain jean shorts, a pale pink tank and some tennis shoes Kylo had insisted she’d pack. “Maybe I am.” 

     He grinned, shaking his head as he climbed into the driver’s side. She followed, piling into the opposite seat and closing the door behind her.

     “Ready?” He asked. 

     She nodded emphatically. “I can’t wait.”

     The drive to the forest was a short one, and it was not time at all before she saw the large wooden sign reading, “Jedediah Smith Redwoods State Park”, come into view. He parked near the visitors center, climbing out of the car and grabbing their pack from the backseat. He slung it over his shoulders, grabbing her hand and pulling her along to make his way to the main trail.  

     Rey was in awe of the massive trees that bled straight up into the sky. Their bases were wide enough that dozens of people could span across it and still not reach the other end. She felt like an ant among giants. Kylo looked so at home out here, a soft smile on his face as he trekked down the trail with Rey in tow. 

     They stuck to the main trail for a long time, hiking through the forest and chatting about every day things until Kylo suggested they go off road a little bit. 

     “There’s a meadow somewhere that way you have to see.” He told her, pointing off in the distance. 

     He pulled her off the main trail, jumping over some fallen logs and trekking through the grass. They weaved through the maze of massive trees, Kylo telling her about all the times he’d been here with his grandfather, Anakin.

     “You know, when I was little my grandpa used to tell me that way up there in the canopy there lived a race of these tiny bears. They carried spears and were vicious little things who would come down and snatch me away if I wasn’t good.” He told her.

     “Your grandpa sounds kind of evil.” She said chuckling.

     He shrugged. “I’m sure some people would have agreed with you. I loved him though. I looked up to him more than my own father.”  

     Rey noted the bitter tone in his voice. “Why is that?”

     Kylo blew a puff of air between his lips.  “My dad was never around. Hard to look up to someone who isn’t there.”

     He pulled her along, helping her around a bramble so that she wouldn’t be caught, and across a small stream that cut between the trees. Eventually he pulled her into a small clearing, an empty space surrounded on all sides by the massive trees of the forest. It’s surface was blanketed with hundreds of bright pink wildflowers, their mass ruffling gently in the cool breeze that blew through the clearing. 

     “Oh Kylo, it’s _beautiful_.” She told him, her mouth hanging open in wonder.

     He tugged her over to a fallen log that lay near the center of the meadow, helping her down to sit on it while he dug their lunch from their pack. She leaned back, soaking up the warm rays of the sun that peeked through the canopy of trees above. She could see why Kylo loved it here. It really was beautiful.  

     He handed her a sandwich and a water bottle before grabbing one for himself, and for a time they sat quietly, eating their lunch and taking in their surroundings. Curiosity got the best of Rey though, she couldn’t let go of the cryptic remarks about Kylo’s father. 

     “So... where was your dad?” She asked tentatively. 

     He chewed slowly, not looking at her as he swallowed the mouthful. “He worked a lot.” 

     “Oh? What did he do?” She pressed. 

     He glanced at her warily, realizing that she was wanting to have a full conversation about this. She saw a flicker of anxiousness pass over his features, and for a moment he just stared at her, as if wrestling with a decision.

     “ICE.” He said finally. 

     She gave him a curious look. “ICE?”

     He nodded. “U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement... specifically, the Cultural Property, Art and Antiquities Investigations Department.”

     When he could tell she still didn’t quite understand, he added, “Anti-smuggling unit. They investigate the loss or looting of cultural heritage properties and return them to their countries of origin.” 

     “That sounds exciting.” She said truthfully. 

     “I wouldn’t know. He was never around to tell me about it. He used to come in one week per month. As the years went on, he came in... maybe a few weeks out of the year?” He said bitterly. 

     “Is that... it that why your mom took up drinking?” She asked quietly. 

     He took a long swig of his water, wiping his mouth before nodding solemnly. “I have to assume so. It started when I was maybe... eleven? I remember the first time I realized something wasn’t right. She...” he took a deep breath, remembering. “She was supposed to pick me up from soccer practice. I waited outside the field for _hours_  before finally giving up and walking home. We lived three miles away. It took me over an hour. When I got there... there was a broken glass on the floor. I couldn’t find my mom, but there was all this glass everywhere... I swept it up and threw it away because I was afraid she’d come in and step on it. It wasn’t until I went to the bathroom wanting to shower that I found her. She’d passed out in the tub. She was covered in her own vomit. I kept... I kept shaking her but she... she wouldn’t wake up. I thought she was dead.” 

     He was breathing heavily now, lost in his own memories and even though Rey wanted to reach out and touch him, comfort him somehow, she felt like he needed to get this out first. 

     “I finally poured a glass of cold water in her face. She came up sputtering and coughing and I was just so happy she was _alive_. She was angry though. _So_ angry. She... she slapped me. _Hard_. Across the face. Then she just stomped out of the room to her bedroom and slammed the door. The next day she pretended like nothing happened. She never hit me again, and we never spoke of it, but I started noticing then that she wasn’t herself. She was never really the same. Sometimes she’d have these moments of clarity and want to spend time with me... I’d take whatever she gave me. Even offering to teach a fourteen year old how to make the perfect Martini.” He said sadly.

     “...and you didn’t tell your dad? How did he not notice when he finally came home?” Rey asked gently. 

     Kylo shook his head. “She got so good at hiding it when she knew he was coming in. She’d lay off the booze for a few days before, force herself to sober up. She was... she was my _mom_  again when he was home. It made me so angry. Why could she be that for him but not for me? I wanted to tell Dad what was going on but she... she made me promise. She told me that dad would leave us. That she would only get worse. She promised me she’d get help. I believed her. I shouldn’t have.” He sighed.

     “What happened?” Rey asked softly.

     “I came home from school one day to find a lamp broken into pieces on the floor. She’d thrown it against the wall. There was blood, so much blood. I found her in her room, pale, barely breathing with a gash down her wrist. I panicked. I called my Dad, then I called 911. I’ll never know if she cut herself by accident or if it was on purpose. Dad came home and he was... he was furious. He couldn’t believe it had went on this long and no one had told him. He should have gotten mom help. He should have come home for good and forced her into rehab... but do you know what he did?” Kylo asked bitterly.

     Rey shook her head. 

     “He left her. He petitioned the state for custody of me, moved us out to Crescent City, and he left my mom all on her own. It’s fucking ironic seeing as leaving her alone was what drove her to drink in the first place.” He spat.  

     “How old were you?” Rey pressed delicately. 

     “Sixteen.” Kylo sighed. “Rey... that’s not the end. Are you sure... are you sure you want to hear this?”

     She reached across the space, taking his hand then and stroking the back of it with her thumb. “Whatever you’re okay with telling me Kylo, I can take it. It won’t change how I feel.”

     He swallowed, his gaze heavy as he nodded slowly. “I wasn’t okay after that. I started... acting out. I drank too much, I smoked pot, I even dabbled in some of the harder stuff. I felt responsible for my mother who was rotting alone back at home. If I hadn’t called my Dad... I just... it felt like my fault.” 

     Rey gripped his hand tightly. “You were sixteen Kylo... you couldn’t be responsible for something like that. You were just a _kid_.”

     “I know that now... looking back. Back then though, everything felt like my fault. My dad tried to stay home more, tried to get a handle on his spiraling son, but I hated him. If there was anyone I blamed more than myself, it was him. I never once respected him, I fought him at every turn. Then one night... on my seventeenth birthday...” he swallowed, a strangled sound escaping him. 

     “If it’s too hard...” Rey said gently.

     “No. _No_. I need to get this out.” He resolved. 

     She nodded, running her hand over his forearm in comfort. 

     “My friends... they’d thrown a party for my birthday. Hux was there. I’d had too much. _Way_  too much. Hux had tried to get me to answer the phone when my dad had called looking for me but I wouldn’t listen. I told him I was _fine_. I wasn’t fine. I was wasted. I was high. I barely knew where I was. Hux left early, and he tried to get me to go with him but I hung back, drowning my feelings with more alcohol. When people started to dwindle out, I rejected all offers of a ride home, telling them I was _fine_. I could _handle_ it, I told them.” 

     Kylo’s chest heaved under the pressure of all the feelings he was experiencing having to relive whatever pain he’d been carrying, and Rey hurt for him. She wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him that it could wait, but she sensed he needed to do this. 

     “You... you drove yourself home?” She asked, dreading where this was going.

     He nodded, his eyes unseeing. “Yes. Do you know the worst part?”

     She shook her head, although she didn’t think he could even see her at this point.  

     He charged on, still staring at nothing. “My dad... he’d went out looking for me. He got into the car after I hadn’t answered my phone and he... he was trying to find me. I don’t know how long he drove up and down those roads, worrying about me, wondering if I was dead in a ditch somewhere. He did find me. Eventually.” 

     A sob escaped Kylo, and Rey couldn’t hold back from him any longer. She pulled him down to her chest, pressing his face to her heart and stroking his hair in comfort. His shoulders shook, and seeing the usually strong, carefree Kylo so wrought with emotion broke Rey’s heart.  

     “I _killed_  him, Rey. I killed my father. Ran a stop sign and hit him head on. Why wasn’t it me? I should have been the one to die. Not him. His only crime was being an absent father and I _killed_ him.” He sobbed. 

      Rey felt hot tears flooding her eyes, her heart breaking for this man she cared so much about. He’d been holding on to this pain for _years_. She wanted to soothe it all away, take it from him and give him peace but she didn’t know how. She pressed him tighter to her, pressing a firm kiss to his hair and continuing to stroke it idly. 

      “Kylo... you can’t- you can’t keep blaming yourself. You were a _kid_. Just a stupid kid who was hurting and did a stupid thing. I didn’t know your father but I can’t imagine he would be happy knowing you felt this level of pain after all these years. You’re still holding on... let go.” She said through her tears.

      He shook his head into her chest, breathing heavily. “That’s not the end, Rey.” 

     She stopped stroking his hair. “There’s more?”

      He nodded, still not looking at her. “My mother... she never got better. She still loved my father. She was... _devastated_  that he was gone, and the only person to blame was... me.” 

     “She didn’t.” Rey said incredulously.

     He sighed. “She did. Involuntary manslaughter. I spent my senior year in Del Norte Juvenile Detention Center.” 

     “Kylo I’m... I’m so sorry.” She said sadly.

     He shook his head. Still unable to look at her, merely clinging to her tightly. “I deserved it.” 

     “No. You didn’t. You’d just lost your _father_. She was your  _mother_. It sounds to me like no one was ever there for you and you paid the ultimate price.” She said angrily. 

     He leaned back then, staring up at her with red stained eyes. “I really... I really don’t deserve you.” 

     “You deserve a lot more than you think you do, Kylo.” She said softly, running her  hand across his cheek. “Tell me... what ever happened to your mother?”

     His eyes darted to the ground. “She eventually got sober.”

     “But you never talked to her again?” Rey pressed.

     He shook his head. Rey didn’t know if she blamed him. It would be hard to forgive something like that. Still, she could tell it ate at him. “I’m glad you told me, Kylo. Thank you.”

     He took a deep breath, releasing it shakily. “That’s... that’s not all. There’s just... there’s one more thing I need to tell you.” 

     “What is it?” She asked. 

     “You know... you know I... Rey I...” he struggled to form his thoughts into words. 

     They were interrupted then, the sharp trill of Rey’s phone ringing from her pocket. She wanted it to stop, its loud cry an unwanted interruption when Kylo had been just about to tell her the last thing that had been troubling him so much. She cursed, apologizing to him before taking it out to silence it. She glanced at the screen, her eyes darting to Kylo’s before she said, “Leia.”

     He bit his lip, chewing on it slightly. “Answer it.” 

     “No, it’s fine I can call her back.” She said. 

     He shook his head. “No, answer it.”

     “Okay...” she said swiping the icon across the screen to answer the call. 

     “Leia? Hey, can I call you back it’s actually... what? What do you mean you can’t come to my graduation?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  It’s been two days since I wrote this and I thought I was okay.  
> I’m not okay.  
> My poor baby.  
> He hurts so much.  
> I just love him even if he’s dense and makes bad choices concerning Rey.  
> I want to hug him.  
> *sobs*


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: I’m going to fake you out again.  
> Listen- before you arm yourselves with pitchforks and torches, it’s the last time. Hand to Jenna. Tomorrow the shoe drops. So you guys need to give me this. It’s my last moment to tease you, and Kylo deserves one more damn happy day gosh damnit.  
> 

     Kylo’s eyes still stung with the remnants of tears. He hadn’t cried since he was seventeen fucking years old. Not a single tear since that night his Dad had died. Not when his mother had told him she’d wished it had been him, not when the judge had handed down the sentence, not even that first night he’d spent locked up. Not a single fucking tear.

 

     Here he was now, a grown ass adult, openly _weeping_ in the arms of the girl he fucking loves. He didn’t know when it had fully hit him that he loved Rey. He didn’t even know if he could pin it on a particular moment. It was like for the past few years he’d been underwater, floating miles beneath the surface in the dark. Then Rey had reached in and pulled him out into the sunlight. Everything was just... _better_  when she was around. He wanted to tell her. He _needed_ to tell her. He couldn’t though, he couldn’t tell her he loved her until she knew everything.

     She’d immediately absolved him from the blame and the guilt he’d carried for almost ten years. She’d said it wasn’t his fault. He still didn’t know if he believed that... but the fact that _she_  believed that made him feel like he could fly. The hole in his heart that he had spent years trying to pretend didn’t exist suddenly felt... less agonizing. There was only one piece left of the puzzle. Only one piece of himself left before she knew everything. He had to hope that she would be just as receptive as she’d been upon hearing the rest of his sad story. 

     He listened intently as Rey had a discussion with Leia, wondering himself why Leia would suddenly decide not to come to her graduation. They were close, weren’t they? He wondered if it was because of him. Was Leia avoiding Rey because she knew he would be there? He suddenly felt guilty. He didn’t want to take Leia from Rey, for as terrible of a mother as she’d been to Kylo... she’d found a way to be everything she couldn’t be with him to Rey. He didn’t want to be the reason Rey lost that. He couldn’t think of any other reason for Leia to be cancelling last minute though. 

     He sat quietly as Rey listened to Leia’s explanation, watching as Rey’s face crumpled into disappointment. She struggled to maintain her composure, not wanting to let Leia know she was upset. 

     “You can’t push it back...? I mean... I just really wanted you to be there.” She told her. 

     She was quiet for a moment, listening.

     “I understand... no, I get it. It’ll be okay. Maybe I could see you next week? Yeah, that sounds good. I miss you too.. 

     Rey hung up the phone. Sighing heavily, obviously upset. Kylo reached over, rubbing his thumb across the skin of her knee. “She’s not coming?” 

     Rey shook her head. “She said... she said that something came up at school that she couldn’t get out of. Something to do with one of her students.”

     “I’m sorry.” He meant it when he said it, but he was also relieved. No run in with his mother tomorrow meant that he had more precious time. He’d already put so much on Rey today... it almost seemed cruel to lay that final brick down when everything was so raw. Better to let her process everything he’d just told her first.

     She shook her head. “I mean... it’ll be okay. You’ll be there... right?”

     He smiled. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

     “I’m sorry,” she said. “I interrupted you. You had more to tell me?”

     He pursed his lips, wrinkling his brow. “I think that’s enough for today.”

     “Oh Kylo, I didn’t mean to interrupt, you can talk to me.” She lamented.

     “Hey,” he said soothingly. “I’m not mad. It was just a lot of information. I’m just kind of on sensory overload right now. I promise we’ll finish this discussion. How about tomorrow night after your party? I’ll make dinner at your place. Okay?”

     She nodded, still obviously impatient and more than likely wishing to just finish it now. Still, to her credit she didn’t press. Kylo sighed in relief, glad to have one more happy day with her. He’d gotten through half the hard part, she’d seen the worst part of him and she still wanted him. That was something, right? 

    “One thing though... how is none of that public record?” Rey asked curiously. 

    “I was a minor when I was sentenced, and the one kindness my mother offered was working to have my record expunged after I got out. My records were sealed, and being a crime of no malicious intent it was never contested. I got updates in the mail... I have to assume my mother thought the gesture would urge me to talk to her again.” He shrugged. “It helped that I changed my name not long after I turned eighteen.”

     “Where did the name come from?” She asked.

     “My grandparent’s middle names. Anakin Kylo and Padme Ren. They were the only people in my life who were ever really there for me. It seemed fitting.” He told her truthfully.

     She nodded thoughtfully. “That’s actually very sweet. I bet they’d like that.”

     “I hope so. I miss them.” He said softly. He sighed heavily, not quite ready to leave this place but knowing it was inevitable. “We’d better get back.” He told her. “We have to catch that flight home in a few hours.”

     She nodded again. “I’m not ready to leave. I love it here.”

     “I know what you mean... but we can come back.” He promised. 

     “I’ve been thinking about your tour...” she started tentatively. 

     His heart rate picked up slightly in anticipation. “Yeah?”

     She nodded. “Maybe... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to take a year off.”

     “Are you serious?” He said, grinning widely at her. 

     She bit her lip. “I mean... if you’re sure I wouldn’t be in the way.”

     He didn’t bother answering her, instead weaving his arms around her and pulling her up with him, hugging her tightly. “Are you fucking _kidding_  me? I _want_  you in my way. All in my way. I don’t want to turn the fucking corner without you being there. I’m so fucking excited right now you have no idea.”

     “Yeah?” She said happily. 

     “Yeah.” He said smiling. 

     Kylo’s heart felt like it would burst. He refused to think about the possibility that she would change her mind after tomorrow night. This was meant to be. They were meant to be. He let himself hope, praying to whatever God’s above that it wasn’t in vain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>       “Is my hat straight?” Rose asked.

      Rey adjusted it slightly, pulling the tassel to the correct side. “There. Perfect.”

      Rose checked her reflection in her camera on her phone. “Ugh. Does anyone look good in this?”

      Rey shrugged. “Probably not, you’re doing a pretty good job of it though.”

      Rose smiled up at her. “Aw, you’re the best. You’re pretty hot yourself. Any plans for kinky business in your grad robes later?”

      “Shh!” Rey sputtered. “You’re as bad as Kylo is.”

      “Ah, so the discussion has taken place.” Rose teased.

      Rey blushed. “He might have mentioned that we take it with us when we...” she trailed off, realizing she’d said too much. She hadn’t told Rose yet that she’d planned to leave with Kylo after the following week to go on tour with him. She snapped her mouth shut a moment to late, Rose looking at her curiously.

      “When you what?” She asked.

      “Well, I haven’t told you yet because we’re still working out the details...” she started.

      “Oh my God, you’re pregnant.” Rose all but shouted, gaining them looks from a few people close by.

      “No. Rose, God. No.” She groaned.

      “Whew. Well you can’t blame me for assuming, have you seen that guy? He just looks like he’d get you pregnant.” Rose told her.

      Rey rolled her eyes, not quite able to disagree. “No, Rose, I... I think I’ll be leaving with him to go on tour when he goes.”

      Rose looked taken aback. “What? What about job hunting?”

      “I’ve decided to wait a year before entering the job market... I just... I’d miss him so much. Plus, my degree will be there, right?” She said anxiously.

      Rose nodded. “I mean, yeah. It’s just, girl. That’s huge! This is really serious isn’t it?”

      Rey nodded, smiling softly. “It is.”

      Rose threw her arms around Rey, her tiny body pulling her in for a hug. “I’m happy for you! It’s going to be so fun, and if anyone deserves some fun, it’s you! I’m just so jealous I can’t come too!”

      Rey laughed, relieved that Rose knew. “I’m sure Kylo would fly you and Jyn out for a show over the Summer.”

      “Don’t tease me unless you plan to follow through! I am so down for an overseas girls trip!” She said excitedly. 

      “It’s a plan then.” Rey agreed.

      “I think they’re almost ready to start.” Rose noticed, seeing the students start to file in a line. 

      “Yeah, we’d better get in line. See you out there?” Rey asked.

      “I’ll be the one in the dumbass hat.” Rose said, rolling her eyes. 

      “Ditto.” Rey giggled.

      Graduation went off without a hitch, and Rey couldn’t help but giggle when her entire new “family” consisting of Kylo, Hux, Jyn, Phasma and Mitaka had cheered when she’d crossed the stage, the noteworthy entourage gaining several looks at both them and her. She supposed this was her life now though, and she felt no embarrassment as she beamed out at them from on stage. 

      After, their little group milled around, chatting about their plans afterward. The rest of the band had decided to forego the party, not wanting to crowd Rose’s place and steal the thunder from them. They promised they’d have their own party soon at Phasma’s place though. 

      “So Kylo tells me you’re tagging along on the tour, eh?” Phasma asked Rey.

      She nodded sheepishly, grinning up at Kylo. He was easy to look at today, looking sinful in his dark pinstripe suit jacket. His pink suspenders- a show of support he’d said, peeked out from underneath the jacket where they rested over his white button down. 

      “Someone’s got to keep him in line.” Rey snarked, nodding her head towards Kylo. 

      Hux barked out a laugh. “Oh this is going to be fun.”

      Mitaka gave them a wary expression, seemingly not quite ready for the rowdiness he was up for in the coming months. 

      “Maybe we should teach Rey to play drums... she could fill in when I’m too fat to play.” Phasma mused.

      Rey waved her hands in front of her face emphatically. “No thank you. I have no rhythm to speak of.”

      “Don’t act like you’d let anyone touch your set anyway.” Hux said, rolling his eyes. 

      “Too right. I’d see you in hell before I see you on my set.” Phasma said seriously.

      “Drama queen.” Hux muttered.

      “Ah, but you recognize I am in fact a queen.” She said cheekily. 

      Kylo snorted, having had enough of their antics. “Like children all of you.”

      Mitaka gave him a sly look, saying without words that he knew Kylo could be just as bad. “Don’t look at me like that.” Kylo said laughing. “Don’t lump me in with them.”

      “Hey, speaking of the tour...” Rey started. “Would it be possible to bring Rose and Jyn out at some point over the Summer? Or is that too difficult?” 

     Kylo considered. “I don’t know... I might could consider it. Maybe if Jyn takes back all that nonsense of Cassian having something on me.” 

     Jyn guffawed loudly. “Oh dear, has that been eating at you all this time? Bless your sweet little heart. We all bow to your masculinity there, Kylo.” She told him, offering a mock bow. 

     He narrowed his eyes. “You know what? I’ll fucking take it.” He said, laughing. “Just get the dates you’re free to Rey and I’ll set it all up.”

     “Yes! Foreign boys are yummy. Maybe I can snag me a husband while I’m over there.” Rose said, laughing. 

     Rey just barely caught the tiny glance Hux afforded Rose, only a glimmer of disappointment over her words before he quickly masked it. Hmm, that was interesting. 

     Their banter continued for a while longer, before Phasma announced they needed to get going or they would be late. They left as a group, Phasma having made plans for them of some wild nature that Mitaka was already looking uneasy about. 

     Kylo stayed obviously, hanging behind with Rey, Rose and Jyn while they waited for Rose’s parents to bring the car around, planning to follow them to the party.   People definitely stopped to stare at Kylo as they hung around chatting with their families, a couple of braver girls even coming up to ask for an autograph. Rey felt no jealousy as they fawned over him, relishing in the knowledge that he would be coming home with her. 

     Kylo eventually broke from their tiny group, kissing Rey before telling her he was going to bring the Maybach around. Jyn followed, deciding to go ahead and head to Rose’s in her own car. Rose and Rey were waiting on the lawn when Rey noticed a familiar figure cutting across the grass headed straight for them.

     “Oh fuck no.” Rose said angrily.  

     Rey groaned in tandem, equal parts angry and anxious as she watched Finn approach. When would enough ever be enough for him?

     “Hey, Rey.” He all but sneered. “Had a fun week did you?”

     “You’d better march in the opposite direction there weaselface- unless you want me to permanently wedge my heel up your ass.” Rose growled.

     He cast a loathsome expression at Rose, dismissing her. “Are you happy now that you and your emo boyfriend made a fool of me now? Don’t feel so high and mighty when the whole world knows you for the whore you are.”

     Rey frowned. Who did he think he is? He didn’t even know her. Not really. He’d never bothered to even try because he was always trying to fit her into the mold of Finn’s girlfriend. 

     “Fuck you.” She said sternly.

     “Excuse me?” Finn asked in disbelief.

     “You heard me. Fuck you.” She said with more force.

     Rose looked like she’d just won the lottery, her hands clapping over her mouth as her entire face lit up like a kid at Christmas.  

     Rey wasn’t done either. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Just because Daddy has a little money you should just immediately be owed anything and everything you want? Then the one time something comes along that the great Finn can’t have, you make it your life’s mission to try and bring it down? Fuck you. There’s nothing special about you, and Kylo is a hundred times the man you are. So you and your little man syndrome can turn right around and walk right out of my life.”

     His mouth hung open, his expression darkening in anger as he took in the small crowd that had gathered, drawn in by Rey’s raised voice. 

     “Listen here you little bitch-” He started, cut off by the sudden force of Rey’s fist connecting with his nose. 

      She immediately regret the decision, her knuckles throbbing with pain. She’d never hit a person in her life. She hadn’t caused much damage obviously, and Finn mostly just grew even more agitated as he took a step towards her menacingly. He moved to grab her arm roughly, but no sooner had he wrapped his fingers around the skin did a dark form cut between them, his fist connecting solidly with Finn’s jaw and knocking him backwards. 

      Finn fell to the ground in a heap, clutching his face and whimpering in pain.  Kylo crouched down beside him, his expression filled with unadulterated fury. 

      “That’s for touching her again. I believe I told you not to. Oh, and just in case you’re thinking of calling in your little resources again over this... I have a story of my own. About our little Finn cornering a scared woman outside of a bathroom and putting his hands on her with the intent of forcing himself on her. Do you think that will sell papers? Do you think Daddy will like that? Fucking try me and we’ll find out.” He threatened, turning to take Rey by the arm and lead her away. 

      Rose was celebrating quietly, her face a picture of pure bliss at the demonstration of justice she’d just witnessed.

      “I’m going to be replaying that moment over and over for the rest of my days. Bam. Down he went. So beautiful.” She sighed. 

      “That felt really good.” Kylo admitted. “How’s your hand?” He asked Rey.

     She inspected the angry red flesh of her knuckles, they would probably bruise, but she couldn’t say it wasn’t worth it.

     “I’ll be fine.” She said truthfully. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

     He scoffed. “I told that motherfucker what would happen if he touched you again.”

     “Well, glad that’s over with. Let’s go party!” Rose squealed.

     “Definitely.” Rey agreed. She left them, walking over to her parent’s car and climbing inside.  

     Rey followed Kylo to the waiting car and piled in after him. “That was.. interesting.” She told him.

     He huffed. “He’s just lucky I didn’t break something.”

     “How very caveman of you.” She teased. 

     He thumped his chest, eliciting another giggle from Rey. She typed the address to Rose’s into the car’s GPS system, and Kylo pulled out onto the street to head that way. 

     They arrived at Rose’s not long after, pulling up to park on the street outside of the ornate Cape Cod home in Westwood Hills. Rose’s house was everything Rey had ever wished for growing up, the lush green lawn, the white picket fence, even down to the well groomed flower garden in the front yard. The porch boasted regal white columns, with heavy white wooden benches pressed against the red brick walls on either side of the bright blue door. 

     Kylo and Rey walked up the drive past the large garage bay doors, pressing through the gate to knock on the front door. Rose opened it, motioning them inside before shutting it behind them. Rey never tired of the wide open space of their main entry, a piano resting against the wall at the base of the stairs that Rose had tried and failed to learn to play when she was nine. 

     They followed Rose through the spacious living room, nodding politely to people that were shuffling about and engaged in polite conversation. Her parents were in the kitchen, her mother setting out more hors d'oeuvres while her father popped open a bottle of wine.

     “Rey,” Mrs. Tico said warmly. “So nice to see you dear.” 

     “You too, Luanne. Something smells good in here.” She said, inhaling in the delicious scent wafting about her nose.  

     “Ah, that’ll be the croquettes. They’re just out of the oven... try one?” She asked warmly, holding out the crisp morsel for Rey to taste.

     She took a bite, humming in approval around the food. “Oh, that’s amazing!”

     “John made them. He saw the recipe on HGTV last week and he’s been itching to try it.” Luanne said proudly.

      Mr. Tico frowned over the bottle he was uncorking. “Try not to broadcast that I watch HGTV to the other guests, would you dear?”

      She tutted. “There’s nothing wrong with a man in the kitchen.” 

      Rey chimed in. “Kylo cooks too.” She told them, hitching a thumb towards him.

      John eyed him, taking in his alternative looking appearance and nodding appreciatively. “Well, if he thinks it’s alright I suppose it can’t be all that embarrassing.”

      Kylo laughed, offering a conspiratorial wink to Mrs. Tico. “Nothing wrong with a man in the kitchen.”

      Luanne waved a finger at Kylo, chuckling softly. “Oh I like him.”

      “Me too.” Rey said with a grin. 

      Rose snorted. “Don’t encourage them, Mom. They’re disgustingly cute enough as it is.”

      Kylo leaned over to Luanne, lowering his voice slightly. “Don’t mind her, she’s jealous.” 

     Mrs. Tico laughed loudly, eliciting another groan from Rose, who threw up her hands in defeat. “I’m surrounded on all sides now.” 

     Rey reached across the countertop to pat her friend’s hand. “There, there.”

     “Oh for the love of Christ, not you too.” She said, laughing in earnest now.  

     “Everyone’s heading out back to hang around the pool. I’ve got the bar all set up if you’re interested.” John told them. 

     “That sounds fun.” Kylo said, eyeing Rey for affirmation. 

     “Yeah that sounds great. No alcohol for me though.” She said, shuddering as she remembered how silly she’d acted last time.

     Kylo pouted. “Ah, but drunk Rey is fantastic.” 

     She poked a finger in his chest, giving him a stern look. “She has no business at this type of function.” 

     “Later, then.” He said with a wink. 

     “We’ll see.” She said, grinning widely.  

     “Oh Kylo, you won’t need your coat out there, it’s really warm today. Rey, why don’t you take it to the guest room with the others? We’ll show him out.” Luanne told Rey.

     “Sure.” Rey agreed, holding her hands out while Kylo shrugged out of his suit jacket. Rey was sad to see him out of it, but with his suspenders now fully on display she had eye candy of a different kind to ogle. 

     “Those are some interesting accessories there, Kylo.” John started as he led him out of the kitchen. 

     “It’s a funny story actually...” she heard Kylo trail off as he followed Rose and her parents back out into the living room towards the patio door. Rey went the opposite way, carrying Kylo’s jacket out the other entry to the kitchen in search of the guest bedroom on the other side of the stairs.

     She pushed through the door there, throwing his jacket on the pile with the others that had gathered on the bed there. She didn’t quite hit the bed, and the jacket fell to the floor with a thunk. She reached to pick it up, dusting it off with her hands. Kylo’s wallet slipped out of the pocket, falling to the floor with a soft thud. She must have knocked it loose when she dropped the jacket. 

     She bent to pick it up, it had fallen open when it fell, but stopped suddenly when she saw something peeking out of the inner slot that caught her attention. A photo was tucked away there, and she knew that face that was partially hidden in the slot. She picked up the wallet, tugging at the edge of the photo to free it from its resting place.

     Rey’s heart stopped beating.  

     She felt the bathump of it sound before coming to a halt. Her breath left her lungs as her throat went dry.  

     What... what did this mean? Why did Kylo have this? She knew this photo. She remembered taking it. Leia’s proud smile as her arm was wrapped around Rey, who’s beaming face shone proudly at he camera. This was at her high school graduation. She was eighteen in this photo. This photo was four years old. What was it doing in Kylo’s wallet? 

     The edges were worn, as if it had been taken out and looked at hundreds of times. Rey thought back, hard, did she have a copy of this photo in her apartment that Kylo could have picked up? She wracked her brain thoroughly, begging that it be true, but no. A fellow student had taken this photo of Leia and Rey, and Leia had kept it after. Why did Kylo have it? 

     She didn’t know what to do right now. She wanted to march through the house and demand an answer, she wanted to put the photo back and pretend she never saw it. She knew that whatever answer awaited her she wouldn’t like. She thought back to all of Kylo’s worried looks, his trepidation to tell her everything about himself, his odd behavior towards all things concerning Leia.  

     It hit her then, with the ferocity of an incoming freight train. How could she have not put it together. How could she have not known. Kylo had. He’d known from the start. How could he have not told her? Her skin crawled and her stomach was in knots. She wanted to throw up. She clutched the picture to her chest, tears flooding her vision as she tried to get a grip on her emotions. 

     Everything made sense, and yet nothing made sense. She took one last look at the photo, almost wishing she’d never found it. She turned, clutching it in her hand as she left the guest bedroom to confront Kylo. She passed through the kitchen in a hurry, rounding the corner to the living room and stopping dead in her tracks when confronted with the scene there.

     Leia stood at the entryway opposite her, staring fixedly at Kylo who was hanging back in the doorway that led out onto the patio. 

     “Leia? I thought you weren’t coming.” Rey asked, momentarily distracted from her original mission. 

     “He wouldn’t have come if he knew I was.” She said softly.

     Rey couldn’t help it. The sheer weight of all that had just been dumped on her proved too much to bear and she actually laughed. A strangled, humorless sound. The weight of the lies that rained down on her threatened to drown her. Kylo’s eyes flicked to hers, and then downwards, noticing the photo in her hands. His eyes went wide, panic flooding his features as he turned away from Leia and instinctively took a step towards Rey. 

     Leia called out, reaching a hand in his direction. “Ben.”

     Rey watched Kylo expectantly, her eyes still cloudy with tears as she waited for his answer. He stared at Rey with the most regretful expression she’d ever seen, holding her gaze for several moments. He finally sighed, deeply, his face twisting into a look of pure torment. He turned, eyeing Leia disdainfully before speaking.

     “Hello, mother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>       _It’s all over._  

     He saw the picture in her hands, he saw the expression on her face. The hurt in her eyes as she clutched that damned picture. Why had he kept it? Why hadn’t he gotten rid of it sooner. He knew why. He _knew_. Now it would ruin everything. He couldn’t blame everything on it though, this was his fault and no one else’s. He should have told her so much sooner. He should have told her when he _met_ her. Why didn’t he? He didn’t know if he had an answer to that question, and Rey would surely expect one. 

     He took a step towards her, his body gravitating to her like moth to a flame. 

     “ _Ben_.” He heard from behind him. Right, his _mother_. Her resolve to keep quiet about her knowledge on the subject all made sense now. She thought he wouldn’t come if she was. She wanted to force him into an interaction. His mother had always been clever. Rey looked at him expectantly, waiting for his answer, waiting for him to confirm everything she already knew. The pain in her eyes gutted him, even more so knowing he put it there.  He sighed deeply, knowing he’d dug his own grave. 

     He turned, taking in the small form of him mother. She’d aged over the years, her rich brown hair now streaked with bits of gray. Still those same eyes though, the same eyes Kylo saw in the mirror every day. His heart lurched in his chest at the sight of her. 

     “Hello, mother.” He said evenly. 

     A sob escaped Rey, the sound gutting Kylo from all the way across the room. He made for her again, trying to cross the space to take her in his arms but she- she _backed away_ from him. She didn’t want to touch him. She didn’t _want_ him. His insides went cold, his stomach filled with ice and he was sure he felt his heart freeze over. No. _No_. 

     “Rey, _please_ , just listen to me.” He pleaded, taking another step towards her. She backed away further, throwing her hands out as she silently begged him not to touch her. He was physically sick. 

     The front door opened and then closed, footsteps sounding over the hardwood as Jyn came into the room.

     “Hey guys, sorry I’m late I stopped to...” she trailed off, taking in the tense scene in front of her. Rey’s eyes flicked to Jyn’s and she quickly crossed the space and murmured something to her. Jyn glanced at Kylo, eyes immediately going protective as she nodded back at Rey. They left then, Jyn’s arm around Rey’s waist as Rey continued to clutch that photo, the nail in his coffin.

     He made to go after her. “ _Rey_!”

     She turned just slightly, her eyes empty and sad. “Don’t follow me, Kylo. _Please_.” She all but whispered. 

     With that, she was gone. Out the door and maybe out of his life. No. _No_. He wouldn’t allow that. He’d make her listen. She _had_ to.

     He moved to follow, but the voice of his mother rang out after him. “ _Ben_.”

     “ _What_ , mother?” He shouted in her direction. “Me losing everything wasn’t enough for you? You had to take _her_ too?”

     “Ben, _no_ , I just... I just wanted to see you. I have thought about you... _every day_. Every day for almost ten years. I just wanted to tell you... I needed you to _hear_ me say that I was sorry.” She told him wearily.

     “ _Sorry_?” He bellowed. “You’re _sorry_? For what? For ruining my childhood? For checking out when I needed you? For throwing me in fucking _prison_  seconds after we lost Dad? Seriously, you’re going to have fucking elaborate. Then you show up here, having used Rey, who _loves_  you, to get to me. Now she’s out there hurting, because of you, because of _me_ , and I don’t fucking know if I can fix it. I may lose the one good thing that has happened to me in my _entire fucking life_. Are you _sorry_  for that?”

     She hung her head, her expression bleak. “I know, I _know_ , I shouldn’t have involved Rey. I just didn’t know any other way to see you.” 

     “You could have fucking _called_.” He snapped.

     She laughed bitterly. “You wouldn’t have answered.”

     She had him there. He probably wouldn’t have. “Well, congratulations. Now she hates me.” 

     “ _Ben_ , I’m sorry, I-” she started.

     “ _No_.” He said firmly. “You don’t get to tell me you’re sorry. You don’t get to waltz back in and expect everything to be okay. You had years...  _years_ , to be my mother. To get your fucking act together. I was a _child_. You were right in front of me and yet you had _already abandoned me_.” 

     Leia crossed the space between them, tentatively putting a hand on his forearm. For a moment he could only stare at her hand as it rested on his skin. For a moment he was a boy again, just a scared little boy who needed his mother. He stared down into his mother’s eyes, the ones that he'd watched cry themselves to sleep at night, the ones that had watched him grow, the ones that a part of him had dreamt about seeing again for ten years. 

     He was not that little boy however, he was a man who had been broken and bent and somehow came out on the other side, no thanks to the woman in front of him. He broke from her hold roughly, recoiling from her and making for the door to go after Rey. He never looked back, not even as his mothers voice called out to him, begging him to hear her out. He practically sprinted from the house, his only mission to find Rey and explain.

     He rushed to Rey’s apartment, knowing that he was only minutes behind them. He parked the car at the first available spot and flew out of it, running up the stairs two at a time. He passed Jyn as she was coming down, and he stopped in his tracks.

     “Is she...?” He asked. 

     Jyn gave him a hard look. “She didn’t say anything the entire ride over. She asked me to leave her here alone. I don’t know what you did, but you’d better fix it.”

     He nodded. “I just hope I can.”

     She patted his shoulder in sympathy. “Me too. I’d hate to have to kill you.”

     He let out a strangled laugh, wracked with emotion and barely sounding human. She left him then, continuing down the stairs towards her car. He continued upwards, arriving at Rey’s door and standing just outside of it. He was so nervous. He raised a hand tentatively to the door and knocked lightly.

     “Rey?” He said into the wood. She didn’t answer. 

     He knocked just a little more forcefully, growing slightly frantic. “ _Rey_.”

     He barely heard her soft voice through the other side of the door, sounding as if she was pressed up against it.

     “Please...” she said woefully, barely audible through the door. “please just go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Try not to judge Rey too harshly.  
> Remember she’s human.  
> Her feelings are valid.  
> She’s hurting too, and sometimes emotion gets in the way of reason.  
> I’m emotional right now, it’s too late at night and I don’t even know what I’m saying. Just take this. Don’t hate me too much.

       _It’s all over._

     Rey slumped against her door in defeat. He was just outside, begging that she let him in. She wanted to, oh, did she want to. The hole in her chest though... it threatened to swallow and consume her. Kylo was a liar. Their _entire_  time together had been a lie. He obviously had known who she was for the _entirety_ of their time together. Most likely from the first time he’d laid eyes on her. What had it all been? An idle passing of time? A way to get back at his mother? What was she supposed to believe?

     She let her head fall back against the wood. “Please... please just go.” 

     She couldn’t see him right now. She couldn’t even get a handle on her own thoughts. All she felt was _hurt_.  

     “ _Rey_.” She heard her name through the door like a plea. “ _Please_. Just let me explain.”

     “What is there to explain Kylo? You’re a liar.” She said bitterly.

     “Rey... just let me in. I still have a key. I’ll use it, I will if I have to... but I’d rather you let me in yourself.” He begged. 

     She sighed. She knew he meant it. He’d come in whether she wanted him to or not. Maybe it was best to just get this over with. Let him say what he had to say. Then he could go. Then she could be alone. She just wanted to fall into her bed and never get out of it.  

     “Fine.” She rose from her seat on the floor, standing and turning to unbolt the lock before walking away from it. She heard him come in quietly behind her, but she couldn’t look at him. Not yet. She was afraid of whatever she’d feel when she saw him again. She took a seat on the couch, staring down at the floor. She saw his feet shuffle across the living room floor, his steps slow and cautious. 

     Every tiny piece of herself she’d shared with him, had he already known? He’d pretended so well... she felt... _dirty_. She’d respected his privacy, she hadn't pried when he’d been wary of his past, she’d been so _patient_. All the while... he couldn’t even offer the same courtesy. How could he? He probably already knew. 

     “Rey...” she heard him softly above her. 

     Still she couldn’t look at him. There was a hole in her chest, and it was raw, and it was bleeding. She feared that if she placed a hand to her heart it would come away coated in a bright scarlet.

     He kneeled, landing at her feet and placing his hands on her knees. They were cold. Why were his hands so cold? They were the same hands that had touched her warmly, so many times... now they looked like a strangers.

     “ _Rey_.” He whispered urgently. “ _Look_  at me. _Please_.”

     She shook her head, unable to do so. “Say what you came to say.”

     He released a shaky breath, his fingers tightening on the skin of her knee. 

     “I don’t know where to start.” He said nervously. 

     “The beginning.” She said hollowly. 

     “I told you... I told you about my sordid past. About my father, my mother, my year in juvenile detention...” he started.  

     She nodded, the pain she felt at hearing his sad story still raw, only adding to her misery. She still felt the urge to hold him through his pain, but a wall had erected around her heart the moment she’d found that picture and it was as wide as it was impenetrable.

     “My mother... she met you. She met you not long after I was locked up. You were the ray of light that pierced through darkness of her sad existence. That’s what she said you know, in that first letter she sent. That’s what’s she called you. Her Rey of light.” He said softly.

     He paused, as if to allow her a moment to respond but Rey was quiet. A letter... Leia has written him letters. All that time... her mouth remained closed. She had nothing to say. Not until she knew everything. 

     He cleared his throat, swallowing hard before continuing. “She wrote me several times a month. She was sorry. She regret what she’d done. She regret who she’d been all those years. She begged me for forgiveness but... I was seventeen and I was angry. So _angry_. I read every word. Every letter that ever came. I never responded though.”

     He sighed, remembering. “She told me all about you. All about this scrappy little girl who she’d come to love. I was so... jealous of you Rey. You’d done what I never could. You brought my mom back. She fucking _loved_  you.” 

     She felt his body tense as he shook his head. His hands ran down the length of her legs, his fingers tracing the hem of her skirt idly. “The first picture she sent... you were maybe, fourteen? You had your hair in these dorky buns. Three of them. Who does that?” He laughed softly to himself, despite the tense air. “You were sitting at the kitchen table, _my kitchen table_ , smiling up at the camera, a worksheet of some sort in front of you and your hand in a thumbs up. You looked so _happy_. My mother told me about your life, how you’d grown up in foster care, how you’d been on a downward spiral before she met you. She told me that the two of you were two halves of the same coin, and that somehow, the both of you had found a way to heal each other.” 

     Rey’s hand twitched, she itched to touch him, through it all she still felt that urge to comfort him. She tightened her hands into a fist, digging her thumbnail into the flesh of her palm to staunch the urge. 

     “What else?” She asked quietly, unable to remain silent any longer.

     He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back on his haunches and sighing deeply. “The letters continued up until I was eighteen years old. That’s when they released me from the detention center. She tried... she tried to see me that day. She’d drove up when they released me and asked to see me. I turned her away. I couldn’t see the new Leia who had found her way back because of another kid who wasn’t even hers. I couldn’t see the clarity in her eyes knowing it was a stranger who put it there. It hurt too much. So, I turned her away.” 

     “Where did you go?” Rey pressed, eyes still trained to her lap. 

     “My dad left the house and his entire estate to me- to be turned over when I was eighteen. I went home. I was all alone there, my grandparents being dead and now my father gone and I still refused my mother. I screened her calls, and she took the hint. She never tried to come see me again. The letters didn’t stop though, they just changed addresses. I started getting them at my dad’s house about a month after I got out.” He told her.

     She nodded. “Keep going.” 

     A rush of air passed over his lips as he thought back. “The pictures kept coming too... I watched you grow up. Over the years you went from this skinny, awkward looking little girl into this... beautiful creature. I remember the first time I noticed the change. You had to have been... seventeen? I felt like a creep because I was already twenty one and here I was staring at your picture and noticing how pretty your mouth was. I still resented you, but I was conflicted. How could someone so beautiful be bad?” 

     He reached for her hand tentatively, and Rey retreated, pulling it further into her lap. She heard him suck in a breath and she knew if she looked up his eyes would hold only pain. The hole in her chest opened a little wider.

     He sighed, pulling his hand back before continuing. “Sometime after I turned twenty two, Hux had been hounding me to leave Crescent City. I’d been a ghost for years, mostly keeping to myself and almost never leaving my house. I’d lost myself in music, writing songs and melodies that reflected the pain I felt. Hux begged me to take them on the road. He said there was something there. I had started to believe him. I hadn’t ever really felt at home in my dad’s house... and it almost felt good to finally decide to leave it. I sold the house, planning to go on the road with Hux. I knew this would sever my ties with my mother as well... and while I couldn’t say I would miss her letters... a tiny part of me would miss the little pieces of you that came with them.”

     He was quiet for several moments, and Rey sensed his story was coming to a close. She didn’t think either of them were ready for it. 

     “The last letter of my mother’s that I ever got came the week before I was set to close on the house. Most of my stuff had already been packed up and put into storage, the rest that I would be taking with me loaded into Dad’s old Bronco, ready for the road. My mother told me all about how you’d graduated high school... top of your class. I was proud of you right along with her. You’d really turned everything around. There was a picture inside, like there almost always was. You know the picture.” He said softly. 

     Rey pulled it out from beside her where it lay pressed to her side on the couch. She held it in her lap, staring down at the worn photo, rubbing her thumb lightly over its surface. She nodded, silently answering him.  

     “I could leave the last connection to my mother behind. I could sever the ties that bound me to her. I could do all of that, without a second glance. What I couldn’t do... was throw away the last reminder I had of you. I just couldn’t. I kept it. I’ve kept it all this time.” He said wearily.

     Rey chewed on her bottom lip, the question that had been burning through her since she found the picture eating her alive. “ _Why_?” 

     “ _Rey_. Will you... will you just look at me? Please?” He pleaded, his voice soft and urgent.

     She sucked in a shaky breath, unshed tears stinging her eyes. Her head slowly lifted, her eyes meeting his, the action nearly knocking the wind out of her. She’d known there would be pain, but the emptiness there was almost too much. His eyes said that he knew all was already lost. The worst part was, she couldn’t take that pain from him. She couldn’t ease it away because her own pain was too great. It was too fresh, too _raw_.

     He reached his hand up slowly, letting his fingers skirt up the length of her jaw before cupping her cheek gently. She instinctively leaned into his touch, a tear falling down her cheek despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. He ran a thumb across her cheek, catching it and wiping it away. 

     “I couldn’t throw it away because... and I know this sounds fucking insane, even to me, but you were  _home_. You were home to me when I no longer had one.” He choked out.

     “Kylo... I... just don’t understand.” She rasped. “You had so many opportunities. So many chances to tell me. Why didn’t you just say something that first night?” 

     He huffed, bringing his hand to his face and rubbing his eyes in frustration. “When I saw you in that crowd... fuck, Rey. You were like... it was unreal. It was like for the first time in years my past was colliding with my present and it damn near knocked the wind out of me. It was a fluke, that’s what I told myself. Something that had been bound to happen and now I could move on. Then... you stumbled into that damn bathroom. For a minute I almost thought you _knew_  me. I thought my mother had told you all about me. I was so tense, I couldn’t figure out what angle you were playing, following me like that. All the resentment I’d carried towards you came bubbling to the surface and for a moment I only felt anger. But then...” he trailed off, thinking back. His mouth turned up in the ghost of smile as he remembered that night.

     “Then you opened your mouth. You started babbling away, oblivious to me or my band or all of the reasons why we shouldn’t be talking. You were the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. I thought maybe... I thought maybe the universe had decided to finally throw me a lifeline. At first I was just obsessed with how fucking perfect you were upon having finally met you. You were everything I’d dreamed about and more. So sweet, so innocent, and fuck- all that _pink_. You were everything I shouldn’t have wanted but couldn’t help but need. Then I got to know you, and I just... I was so scared. I was so scared that knowing everything would freak you out and you would run. You were so insecure, always second guessing how I could want you and I just knew if you knew this you’d run.”

     He cupped her face in both hands then, lifting it up and forcing her eyes to his. “Don’t do that, Rey. _Don’t run_. I know I fucked up, I _know_  that... but this is real what we have. Don’t throw it away. _Please_.”

     Rey stared into those big brown eyes that she’d come to love, their depths full of gut wrenching emotion as they pleaded with her to consider what he was asking. It was all so much. _Too_ much. Too much to ask of her like this all at once. His past, his lies, Leia’s lies... she felt like she was drowning. The hole in her chest gaped open, raw and wide and bleeding. No amount of words could fill it up.  

     She gave a small shake of her head, a tiny thing, almost unnoticeable. It was enough though. It spoke volumes. In that tiny movement Kylo felt her pulling away. He dropped to his knees, pressing the heels of his hands over his eyes and fisting his fingers into his hair.  

     “ _Rey_.” He whispered, his voice cracking. “Don’t do this.”

     “Kylo... I- I can’t. I can’t just pretend you didn’t lie to me. _Every second_  of our time together was a lie. I see now the signs, I see everything I should I have picked up on. Your wariness of Leia, your interest in that _damn_ book, all of these little hints I should have picked up on. I guess I’m the idiot here. I’m the stupid one.” She let out and sharp laugh, a terrible sound, no humor in it. 

     “No Rey- I-” Kylo started, but she held up a hand silencing him.

     “You said your piece, Kylo. I truly believe you didn’t mean to hurt me. I do. The fact is though- _you did_. Do you have any idea how dirty I feel? I gave myself to you. I gave you a part of myself over and over. You were _inside me_. All the while lying to me. Making a fool of me. The pieces of myself that I gave to you, the bits of my past I offered, did you already know? Did you hear the small parts of me and nod your head as if hearing them for the first time knowing that wasn’t true? Was anything between us even real? I feel... stupid... but most of all I just feel hurt. _Everything_  hurts right now. It hurts to _look_  at you. When I see your face it hurts all over again. I don’t know how... or even _if_  I can move past this.” She said through tears that were now free falling. 

     “Don’t do this, Rey. _Please_ , don’t go this way.” Kylo pleaded. He was down on his knees, grasping her legs in prayer, begging her to reconsider. She wanted to, she wanted to tell him it was all okay. She loved him. She knew that now. It was glaringly obvious to her... but it was not enough. She didn’t know if it could ever be enough. It didn’t take away the hurt, and it didn’t fill the hole. 

     “I can’t.” She whispered, her voice as hollow as she felt inside. “I’m sorry.” 

     He reached for her, moving to pull her into his arms and she shook her head vehemently, pushing him away. A sob escaped him, his hands falling to his sides in defeat. “Please.” He whispered. 

     “I need you to go.” She said quietly.

     “Rey, no.” He begged.

     “Please, Kylo... please, just go. Leave your key. I need to be alone.” She wept, her tears staining her skirt as they rained down into her lap.

     His face contorted into a look of pure agony, his eyes red and sorrowful. He clapped a hand over his mouth, his chest rising and falling as his breath came in sharp gasps.

     “Kylo, _go_.” She said, a little more forcefully, her voice breaking as she added a soft, “please.” 

     He nodded solemnly, turning to walk slowly out of the living room and through the kitchen. He turned at the door, taking her key from his pocket and laying it gently on the counter. He afforded her one last glance, his eyes begging her to ask him to stay, to reconsider. She held his gaze for a moment, seeing her pain mirrored there, before breaking away and staring down into her lap once more. She heard the door open and shut, the sound echoing in her ears as the door to her heart closed with it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Rey rn.

      You don’t often stop to realize how much time is in a week. Rey had never thought about the passing of time so much as she had this particular week. She spent hours laying in bed, watching the hands of her clock travel around its face. There are precisely one hundred and sixty eight hours in one week. Of those hours there are one hundred thousand and eighty minutes, and of those minutes there are six hundred and four thousand, eight hundred seconds.

      The worst part? _Rey felt every single one._

     Every passing moment she felt in her chest, in her stomach, in her head. She had barely moved from her sad little nest she’d made for herself on her bed. Not when her friends had pounded on her door, not when her phone had rang incessantly, she barely even moved to eat. She glanced at the phone now, buzzing annoyingly on her bedside table as yet another call came through.

     She didn’t bother to pick it up and look at it- she knew it was either one of her friends, Leia, or _him_. He’d called her thirty-seven times this week. He’d sent her eighty-four text messages. More numbers that haunted her sleep. It would be so easy to just pick up the phone. To tell him that she forgave him. To tell him it was okay. The largest part of her wanted to do just that, but that tiny part that held her back was still hurting. Still nursing the wound in her chest. 

     He’d left last night, on a plane to go overseas and he’d taken the last bit of her sanity with him. She should be with him. She could have been. Instead, she was here, wallowing in self pity. She hadn’t slept last night, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d showered, and eating was a thing of the past. Who had she become in the wake of Kylo? She didn’t even recognize herself anymore. She was nothing but motions and breaths and aimless thoughts. 

     Tonight would be his first show on tour. She could have been there with him, cheering him on. She _wanted_ to be. So what was keeping her here? Her pride? Maybe. It was all she had left at this point. She wondered idly if the papers had gotten wind of their breakup yet. Oh what a field day they would have with that one. She could see in her mind how quickly she would go from harlot to heartbreaker. 

     She refused to check though- that would open a whole new world of hurt she wasn’t ready for. She glanced at the clock once more, in Oslo it was already the following day. Kylo would have already finished his show, and he’d already be getting up to start his next day. She wondered how his night had went after his first show... maybe he went out partying. They’d want to celebrate wouldn’t they? He could have went to a bar... and what if someone approached him?

     Rey’s chest grew tight at the thought of his hands on someone else. He wouldn’t. Would he? Could she even be mad at him if he did? She’d pushed him away. Her stomach hurt just thinking about it. She clutched the fabric of the t-shirt she was wearing, _his shirt_ , and pressed it to her nostrils, chasing the scent of him that had already long faded away. It hadn’t helped that so many of his things had still been here when asked him to leave. She’d thrown most of it in her closet and locked it away, looking at it only brought it all back. Still, his shirt she’d adorned like a scarlet letter, a symbol of her own torment. She had also not been able to take the bracelet off that Kylo had given her. She pulled at it now, the tiny beads stretching with the elastic as she let them roll under her fingers. It was the only comfort she’d had this week, hoping that he was somewhere looking at its twin and thinking of her. 

     She made to nestle back into her little den of sorrow, pulling the blankets over herself, when she was interrupted by a loud knock at her door. 

     “Go away.” She groaned to herself.

     “REY IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN.” 

     She poked her head out from underneath the covers, apparently Rose had decided she’d given her enough time to mope and was going to take matters into her own hands. Rey huffed, rolling into her comforter with every intent to just wait her out. 

     Rose would not relent. She pounded on the door, shaking the frame and shouting loudly for everyone to hear. She was going to blast Rey’s business for every neighbor in the immediate vicinity. 

     “I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. YOU CAN’T SULK FOREVER.” 

     Rey growled from her den. She flounced off the bed, throwing her blankets aside as she stomped to the door. She threw it open to find Rose waiting on her landing, a large bag in her hands.  

     “Fucking Christ on a cracker, Rey. You look awful.” Rose grimaced as she pushed past her into the apartment. 

     “No one asked you to come.” Rey grumbled after her, shutting the door. 

    “Well, it was either I come by, or you sit in here and cry yourself to death.” Rose scoffed, giving her a pointed look over her shoulder as she rummaged around in her bag. She ceased her efforts, turning to look at Rey again. “Girl, you look rough. First order of business- go take a shower. Do that, and _then_  you can have some of the goodies I brought.”

     “I don’t want any goodies.” Rey groused.

     “Don’t you fucking sass me either because I’m not having it. Now go.” She said emphatically, pointing a finger towards the hallway that led to the bathroom.

     Rey stomped off like a sullen teenager, making her way to the bathroom after stopping by her room to grab fresh clothes. Trust Rose to not let her have her pity party in peace. She took in her appearance at her vanity, the girl staring back at her looking like a ghost. She really did look rough. She had remnants of mascara smeared around her eyes and for the life of her she couldn’t be sure how old it was. Her cheeks looked slightly hollowed and her eyes were bloodshot. She barely recognized herself.  

     She jumped in the shower, taking extra care to scrub her face and hair. She spent more time than necessary under the warm spray, but admittedly the mundane task was doing worlds of good for her state of mind. The water on her skin seemed to wash away some of the sorrow that clung there. She almost felt human again.  

     When she was clean, she stepped out of the shower to dry off, dressing in her clean clothes before wrapping the towel around her head. She then made for the sink, dribbling a generous amount of toothpaste onto her brush and scrubbing the cesspool that had become her mouth. She ran the brush over her tongue, scrubbing viciously as she enjoyed the newfound energy that the every day tasks brought her. She spat the excess, sucking air between her lips and relishing in the clean sensation. She ran the towel over her hair more thoroughly, then combing through the strands so that they could dry naturally. 

     When she left the bathroom, she was admittedly feeling ten times better than when she went in, and she was even actually curious as to what Rose had brought her.  

     Rose was milling around the kitchen, the freezer door open wide as she stuffed a large tub of ice cream inside.  

     “Hey, feel better?” She asked Rey around the door. 

     Rey nodded. “Actually, yeah.”

     Rose looked relieved. “Good, you look a lot less crypt keeper now... more waif if anything.”

     Rey rolled her eyes. “So what have you brought me?” 

     She clapped her hands together in anticipation. “Well there’s the ice cream you saw- that’s for later. First, I have Ever After on DVD. We’re going to watch it and ugly cry cathartically while partaking in my other present.” She walked back to the counter then, rifling through the bag and pulling out a large bottle. “Wine Wednesday!”

     Rey scrunched up her nose. “It’s Saturday.” 

     Rose waved a hand around in front of her face in triviality. “Saturday Schmaturday- we’re getting drunk.”

     “I don’t know...” Rey said aimlessly.

     “Listen. I _love_  you. You know that. I know you’re sad, and I don’t blame you... but, Rey? You’re getting drunk with me tonight, you’re going to tell me everything I don’t already know about what happened, you’re going to watch that fucking movie, you’re going to cry, and then we’re going to eat ice cream till we pass out. It’s called _healing_  and you’re going to fucking do some of it. Understand?” She said vehemently.

     Rey frowned, knowing Rose wasn’t going to let up until she agreed. “Fine.”

     “See? Was that so hard? Now look happy about it.” She said forcefully.

     Rey tried a smile, the gesture feeling awkward and stiff on her face.

     “Eh,” Rose said, grimacing. “We’ll work on that. One step at a time.” 

     Rey smacked her arm, eliciting a laugh from Rose.

     “Seriously... thank you, Rose.” She said earnestly.

     “I always take care of my girl- remember?” Rose told her, squeezing her hand. “Now let’s pop open this wine and kick this pity party up to a full blown sadness soirée.” 

     It was an hour later that they found themselves sitting in Rey’s floor, heads spinning and openly sobbing over the old movie.

     “But- but- why would he maaaarry that cow?” Rose slurred.

     “She’s not a cooooow. She’s nice. He’s just confused. Sheesh.” Rey said between hiccups. 

     They’d finished the first bottle of wine quickly, moving on to the second one Rose had stashed away without a second thought. 

     “He won’t do it though.” Rose assured her. “He loves that other girl. Danielle De.. Debarb... whatever. The Princess Bride.”

     Rey shook her head at Rose. “That’s the wrong movie, stupid.”  

     “Don’t call me stupid.” Rose grumbled. 

     Rey shrugged. “Just saying.” 

     “So are you going to fill me in about Kylo?” Rose asked warily. 

     Rey sighed, rubbing her temples to steady her thoughts. Her head was swimming at this point, she was just drunk enough that the thought of spilling her guts didn’t make her want to weep. She told Rose all the sordid details, Kylo’s past, his lies, his reasonings- all of it. It felt good to have Rose there to listen, to help her make sense of it all. When she was done, Rose had taken to lying on the floor, her hands under her head as she took it all in, lost in thought.

     “Fuck me, Rey. That’s... _a lot_.” Rose said, blowing a puff of air between her lips.  

     Rey leaned against the couch, her knees drawn up tight with her arms wrapped around them as she rested her head atop. “I know.” She said quietly. 

     “I don’t blame you for being upset.” Rose said finally. 

     “You don’t?” Rey asked.

     Rose shook her head, leaning up on her elbows to look at her. “He _lied_  to you Rey. For _weeks_. Shit, I’d be fucking furious too. I can’t imagine how shitty that must have felt when you found out.” 

     Rey nodded into her knees. “It hurt. It _still_  hurts.” 

     “So it’s over?” Rose asked, posing the one question Rey had been to scared to even consider in all this time. 

     Rey tucked her head into her knees, covering her face and sighing in frustration. “I don’t know.”

     “Do you want it to be?” She pressed. 

      She raised up, turning to the side and letting her cheek rest against her knee as she chewed her lip, thinking. “I don’t know.”

      “Your face says you do know though.” Rose pointed out.

      Rey sighed. “No. I don’t want it to be over... but how can I trust him? Everything our relationship was built on is a lie.”

      “Do you think Kylo loves you?” Rose asked suddenly.

      “I don’t know, he never said it.” Rey said miserably.

      “Do you love him?” Rose pressed.

      Rey couldn’t answer out loud, tucking her head back into her knees and nodding silently.

      “I thought so. I think he loves you too. In fact, I’d be willing to bet on it. Rey... the way he looks at you... that’s what girls dream about.” Rose sighed.

      “I know but-” Rey started, but Rose held up a hand, silencing her.

      “I’m not saying you just let him off the hook, because I don’t care how famous he is, the fucker lied to you. He needs to know that’s not okay. Ask yourself though, do you think he did it maliciously? Do you really think he meant to hurt you?” She asked pointedly.

      Rey’s eyes welled with tears, wetting the skin of her knee and sliding down her legs. She shook her head fervently against them. “No.”

     “Well, there you go. Maybe you should talk to him.” She urged.

     “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? I’ve made such a mess of things.” Rey sniffled.

     “First of all, you’re a woman, so you’re allowed to be be overdramatic. Second of all, he fucked up, so you’re doubly allowed. Thirdly, that boy looks at you like you’re the original vagina that came down from heaven so I think he’s going to fucking want to talk to you.” She scoffed.

      Rey laughed despite herself, wiping at her eyes to dry her tears. “I really love you, you know?”

      “I know. I’m sort of awesome. I should write a damn book or something.” She sighed, grabbing her head. “ _Fuck_ , my head is swimming, why did you let me open that second bottle?”

      “Let you? You practically tripped over yourself to get to it.” Rey laughed. 

      “Yeah, yeah. You ready for ice cream? I’m fucking ready for ice cream.” She said eagerly. 

      She rose from her place on the floor, teetering slightly as she made her way to the kitchen to open up the freezer. She pulled the tub from its place there, crossing the kitchen to grab two spoons from the drawer. 

      “No bowls?” Rey asked her.

      “I think tonight warrants a ‘straight from the tub’ session. Don’t you think?” She assured her.

      Rey nodded. “Good point.”

      Rose’s phone rang then from the counter, and she reached to pick it up, pressing it to her ear and balancing it on her shoulder as she carried her things back into the living room. 

      “Hello?” She said into the line. “Uh huh, yeah I’m over here now. I mean, yeah that’s fine. What is it though? Uh uh. Okay... well I guess we’ll see you in a minute.”

      She hung up the phone, dropping it to the floor and giving Rey an odd look. 

      “That was Jyn, she says she has something you need to see and that she’d be right over.” Rose said confusedly. 

      “What do you think it is?” Rey asked.

      Rose shrugged. “Maybe she talked Cassian into taking nude photos.”

      Rey clapped a hand over her mouth. “You don’t think...” she trailed off.

      Rose laughed. “ _No_. God. As if he would. They don’t even talk about their damn... whatever it is. Not really. They’re so weird.”

      “She’s on her way now?” Rey asked. 

      Rose nodded. “Yeah she sounded like she’d be here in a hurry. Guess we’ll see.”

      Jyn did show up rather quickly, knocking on the door less than a half hour later. Rey rose to let her in, and Jyn came flouncing through the door excitedly. 

      “You’ll never guess what Phasma sent me.” She said expectantly.

      Rey and Rose stared back at her in confusion, not having the slightest idea as to what she could be referring to. 

      Jyn huffed. “She sent me a link to a video.”

     Rose waved her hand in a circle, urging her to get on with it. 

      Jyn groaned in frustration, as if they should be picking up on the vague hints she was laying down.

      “She sent me a video of last night’s _concert_.” She all but shouted.

      Rey’s heart rate kicked up a beat. “Kylo’s concert?”

      “No, Hootie and the Blowfish’s reunion tour.” Jyn said, rolling her eyes.

      Rose thumped her shoulder. “Hey don’t be a mean-ass.”

      “Ugh, I’m sorry I’m just reeling here.” She said excitedly. “Rey, you _have_ to see this.”

      Rey chewed her bottom lip anxiously. “I don’t think I’m ready to see him yet.”

      “No, no, listen to me. You _have_  to watch it.” She pressed.

      “What’s so urgent?” Rose asked.

      “Our boy wrote her a song.” Jyn squealed.

      Rey’s mouth fell open. “He didn’t.”

      “Oh but he did.” Jyn asssured her.

      “A song?” Rose gasped. “I love that sap, I swear to God. Can we watch it? Wait. No. Come in here on the couch. I need to be sitting down for this. I’m woozy enough as it is without adding all this angst into it.”

      They crossed the living room to the couch and huddled together around Jyn’s phone. She pulled up the text thread with Phasma, clicking the link to a music blog that had blurbed about the concert that for them had taken place last night. Time differences were weird. 

      “Okay, are you ready for this?” Jyn asked her.

      Rey gave her a wary look, unsure. 

     “I _promise_  you’re going to love this.” Jyn assured her. 

     She cast a glance at Rose, seeking confirmation. 

     Rose nodded emphatically, as excited as the rest of them to see it. “Open it, this is going to be good I know it.”

     Rey nodded to Jyn, silently telling her she was ready. Jyn clicked the link to the video, bringing up shaky feed of the concert. Whoever had filmed it was pretty close to the stage, and she could see him there, just as heartbreakingly beautiful as he ever was, his black sleeveless shirt showing all the artwork that flooded down his arms. He was wearing her favorite grey jeans, and her heart lurched in her chest at the sight of his now staple pink suspenders. Even now he was wearing them. The knowledge made her stomach do a flip. 

     The crowd was cheering loudly in the crowded arena, and Kylo threw out his arms to quiet them. He leaned into the microphone, his voice pouring out across the arena, affecting her just as much as it had that first time she’d heard it.

     “Hey, this is a new one. I uh, fucked up a good thing recently with a very special girl. Now, I’m still holding out hope that she’ll give me another chance... but until then I hope she realizes just how fucking sorry I am. Until then... this is Rey of Light.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Maybe it’ll go something like this?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah guys, songwriter I am not. Be gentle. XD  
>   
> Also, a few wondered what Kylo’s voice sounds like to me... and I don’t know if you’ll like or hate this but, to ME he’s like Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides. (Or Andy Black when he went on that weird solo stint.) I don’t know- his voice is deep and pretty. *shrugs*  
> Anyway, if you’ve never heard of him I actually put one of his songs on my dumb soundtrack.  
> Here: [Broken Pieces](https://youtu.be/UxZLQm7Utes)

     Fuck this week. After all the tragedy Kylo had faced in his life, he’d never felt this... _empty_. He kept trying to get Rey to pick up her phone, to just _talk_ to him... but she’d completely cut him off. Not hearing her voice, not being able to _touch_ her... it was agony. It was like someone had removed a vital organ and he was struggling to go on without it. 

       They’d arrived in Oslo only this morning, and most of the band had set out that day to sightsee, to enjoy the city... but Kylo couldn’t join them. He stayed behind, holing himself up in the hotel, much like he’d spent the last seven days. Seven whole days. Had it only been that long? It had felt like an eternity. Every second that passed without her was like a knife to his skin; a slow, torturous anguish that threatened to bleed him dry.

       Sleep had been impossible. Every time he even attempted it her face was there waiting for him; that tormented look the first thing he saw when he closed his eyes. It was enough to steal the air from his lungs, and every remembrance of it felt like the very first time. Her eyes were the worst part. He could see them now, so much fucking _pain_. The real killer? That look? _He fucking put it there._ Even now he felt his chest tighten. It was almost too much to bear.

      He sat at the head of his bed, his guitar in his lap as he idly plucked the strings in a simple melody. The tiny bracelet resting on his wrist clicked idly against the surface of his guitar, and he glanced down at it, frowning slightly. He wondered idly if Rey was still wearing hers. The thought of her having taken it off or worse- throwing it away made his heart hurt. He leaned his head back against the wall, letting the music soothe him as it always did. There had been lyrics rumbling around in his brain all week, disconnected words and phrases that he’d been trying to put to tune. His thoughts were just so jumbled, so muddled with grief for the love he’d lost. 

      He still held out hope that Rey would come back to him. What he felt for her... he knew she felt it too. He could see it in her eyes. Even that day she’d made him go. Even then, he knew she hurt because she loved him. He thought of her smile, so open and honest and _beautiful_. Everything about her radiated warmth and light. 

      Light... that was something. He took his pen and scratched it across the notepad that lay next to him, scribbling furiously. He strummed a chord, then another, crooning softly as the words began to flow easier. 

  _“I’m being torn apart...”_

      Yeah, that was good. He scribbled another line. He continued like this for hours, working like a man possessed as he let the words pour out of him. He matched them to the melody that had been ringing through his brain, working it all out perfectly until he had it just right. He was so amped right now, he hadn’t felt this giddy since... well since before he lost her. Surely this was the gesture he’d been looking for... right?

      He pulled out his phone, dialing up Hux and pressing it to his ear. 

      “Hey,” Hux answered into the phone. “You finally going to join us? You can’t just sit around moping forever dude.”

      “Nope. Actually I need you guys to come back. We need to rehearse.” He told him.

      “What do you mean? Sound check isn’t for a few more hours, and we have this shit down.” Hux scoffed.

      “Not this new one we don’t.” Kylo said pointedly.

      “New one? What the fuck are you talking about.” He said incredulously. He turned away from the phone, answering someone who’d just asked him a question.

      “Yeah, he’s saying he has a new song. I don’t know, you interrupted before I could ask. Hey- HEY!” 

      The phone was seemingly snatched from Hux and Phasma’s voice rang out of the speaker.

      “What’s this about a new song six hours before showtime?” She said grumpily.

      “It’s for her.” Kylo replied quietly.

      Phasma sighed into the receiver. “Well bloody hell. How am I to say no to that?”

      He grinned slightly. “You aren’t.”

      “Well you’ve put me in a damned box haven’t you? Fine, we’ll make our way back. This had better be a good bloody song.” She threatened.

      “I think she’s going to like it.” He promised, smiling widely for the first time in days. 

      He hung up, grabbing his notes and his guitar and dialing Cassian to ask for a ride to the venue so they could set up early to practice. He agreed, saying he’d pull the car around and meet him out front. He texted the others, letting them know to just meet him at the venue when they were ready and that he would be waiting there. Then, he went downstairs to meet Cassian.

      Hours later, they were standing backstage, waiting to go on. Kylo was admittedly nervous- not about the song, they’d gotten it down perfectly, but about what Rey would do when she heard it. He had no doubt it would spread across the internet pretty quickly, and it was only a matter of time before she saw it. His stomach fluttered with nerves, wondering if the gesture would be enough to get her to talk to him. 

      Mitaka gave them a thumbs up, and they made their way out onto the stage as the crowd exploded in excitement. They took their places at their stations, Kylo centered out front as he smiled kindly out at the crowd, allowing them to have their moment of cheers. After a few moments, he threw out his arms to quiet them, and waited the small space of time that it took for their cheers to ebb off into semi silence. He leaned into the microphone, wrapping his hands around it and taking a deep breath before speaking.

      “Hey, this is a new one. I uh, fucked up a good thing recently with a very special girl. Now, I’m still holding out hope that she’ll give me another chance... but until then I hope she realizes just how fucking sorry I am. Until then... this is Rey of Light.”

      Mitaka began to play the opening notes, a soft melody that rang out over he stage and reminded him of Rey. Soft and sweet and beautiful. Phasma began to tap a low rhythm, slow in its ascent as it built up the song. Hux changed the tempo, tapping out a faster beat of his bass that brought everything to a head as Kylo struck the chords of the main melody on his guitar. When it was time, he leaned into the microphone, singing with everything he had as he poured his feelings out on stage for the world to see.

_I feel it again_

_This pull to the light_

_You walked outf my door_

_Won’t let you go without a fight_

_I can’t survive without this Rey of light_

_Used to have pink daydreams_

_Now it’s nightmares and monsters and silent screams_

_I know I hurt you, that’s not alright_

_But I can’t survive without this Rey of light_

_I’m being torn apart_

_There’s nothing but darkness in my lonely heart_

_Want to be free of this pain_

_But until then without you I’ll stand in the rain_

_Until then without you I’ll stand in the rain_

_Come back, Forgive me, Save my soul_

_Without you near me I can never be whole_

_I know I hurt you, that’s not alright_

_But I can’t survive without this Rey of light_

_I’m being torn apart_

_There’s nothing but darkness in my lonely heart_

_I want to be free of this pain_

_But until then without you I’ll stand in the rain_

_Until then without you I’ll stand in the rain_

_I won’t give up_

_I’ll fight this fight_

_You’re all I need_

_My Rey of light_

 

     When the last line rang out across the venue, the crowd erupted in a deafening roar. Kylo opened his eyes, smiling into the microphone, praying that whenever Rey heard it she would know exactly how he felt about her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>        **Rose: They’re playing your song again. ;)**  

     Rey glanced down at the text message and sighed, throwing the phone back onto the table. Four days of nonstop barrages of texts with various links to the same thing. Kylo had sang the song at his next show in Belgium on Sunday, and then again in Switzerland last night. He wasn’t set for another show until Friday, and Rey wasn’t ready. It was Wednesday now... had it already been four days since she’d first heard the song? Kylo had not tried to contact her since that first night that he’d introduced it. It was as if he was putting the ball in her court, waiting for her to pick it up and play. 

     She was still standing on the sidelines though, nursing her wounds. There had been an awakening in her these last couple of days. She had felt it. A shift in her emotions that had left the bleeding edges of the gaping wound in her chest less tender, less raw. The hurt and the anger had softened and in its place there was only longing that remained. Now she spent her nights crying for a different reason. She _missed_ him. She missed his smile, his laugh, his terrible sense of humor, and damned if she didn’t miss the suspenders. Maybe that made her ridiculous, but she did. She missed all of him. 

     She was at her kitchen table now, it was late in the afternoon, and she was staring at her cellphone that sat in it’s center. It stared at her in accusation, judging her for not picking it up and using it. What was stopping her? She had been asking that question all day. The day before as well. Really, every day since the moment she’d saw the video of Kylo singing that song.

     She couldn’t quite put into words the feeling that hearing it had sparked within her. The only way she could accurately describe it was... _healing_. She felt everything he felt in that moment. She felt his remorse, she felt his regret, she felt his _love_. She’d wanted to call him that very second. She had needed to hear his voice. She _still_  needed to. So why was she sitting here, dragging her feet?

    Maybe it was embarrassment. Had she overreacted? The hurt she’d felt had been real, that much she was sure of. With the time that had passed she’d had a chance to really analyze everything that had happened and part of her wasn’t even sure anymore. She still wasn’t happy Kylo had lied to her, but should that have mattered in the face of how strongly she felt about him? She couldn’t even be sure... all she knew was that _missed_  him. 

     A knock sounded at her door, and she raised her head from the surface of the table to eye it curiously. Rose was across town looking at an apartment, and Jyn wasn’t the type to show up unannounced. She was tempted to let whoever it was just think she wasn’t home. Another knock sounded however, insistent. Rey sighed, peeling herself from the chair and ambling over to the door to peer through the peephole.  

     She took a step back, clutching the fabric over her heart and running her fingers through her hair. This was an interaction she was not ready for. If she knew anything though, she knew that there was no avoiding it. They would wait out there until she opened the door. That much she was sure. She steeled herself, releasing a pent up breath and reaching for the bolt lock to undo it. She turned the handle to the door, opening it slowly and glancing out onto the landing. 

     “Hello, Rey.” She said evenly. 

     “Hey... Leia.” Rey said warily, frowning slightly.

     “Can I come in?” Leia asked tentatively.

     Rey gave her a long look, half tempted to say no. She had just started feeling human again, she didn’t need more heartache to heap on top of her. She chewed on her bottom lip, knowing that this had to happen at some point. This was _Leia_. The only mother she’d ever known. Even now she was having trouble matching the Leia of Kylo’s past with the one who stood in front of her. How could the woman who had been such a shining part of Rey’s life have caused Kylo so much pain? It made her head hurt.

     Rey eventually nodded, moving to the side in invitation as Leia strode past her, making her way to the living room and seating herself on the couch.  

     “Will you sit with me?” Leia asked quietly.

     Rey looked back at her with a furrowed brow, unmoving as she stood her ground in the kitchen. 

     Leia sighed. “Rey, please, I only want to talk.”

     Rey felt her feet move, almost as if by their own accord as she strode into the living room and took a seat opposite Leia on the far end of the couch. 

     “I know I owe you an explanation.” Leia offered.

     Rey huffed. “Understatement of the year. You _used_  me.”

     Leia to her credit looked truly remorseful at having done so, her eyes sad and her brow knitted. She let out a deep breath, shaking her head slightly. “I know. I’m not proud of it.”

     “ _Why_?” Rey pressed. “How long have you known? Since the newspaper article? Oh my God. Have you known since the magazine photo a few weeks ago?”

     Leia waved a hand, shaking her head emphatically. “No, _no_.” She said quickly. “I promise you Rey I didn’t know until I saw the article in the Times.”

     “Why didn’t you say something that day you called?” Rey asked in accusation.

     Leia sighed. “I should have. I need you to understand... I have missed my son... more fiercely than I could ever begin to explain. I just... I _needed_  to see his face, Rey. I’m so sorry. I’m sick with myself for having used you to make that happen. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. It makes it seem as if you are somehow less important and I promise you _that’s not the case_. I love you as my own child, and I am so sorry.”

     “Leia... tell me why you never mentioned Ky- I mean Ben.” Rey said pointedly. “You obviously told him all about me. Why did you never tell me about him? About your old life?”

     Leia hung her head. “I was ashamed. I guess I need to start from the beginning.”

     Rey nodded quietly. “Yes.” 

     Leia blew out a quick puff of air, shaking her head slightly as she got lost in her own memories. 

     “The first thing I need you to understand is just how deeply I loved my husband. When I met him, I was so young, and he was so handsome and the kind of man my father wouldn’t have approved of and I loved him instantly.” She said, smiling softly as she remembered.

     “I know the picture that’s been painted of him is not a pretty one, but he wasn’t a bad man. A bad father, a bad husband... maybe, but not a bad man. Han always had this sense of adventure, this urge under his skin to _go_. To keep moving. When he first took the offer for his job- I’m assuming Ben told you about his job?” Leia asked suddenly.

     Rey nodded. “He explained it to me.”

     Leia nodded back before continuing. “When he first took the job, I’d never seen him so excited. Ben was only three, and I was wary of being on my own with him for long periods, but I couldn’t seem to say no when Han was so happy. Traveling all over the world, protecting ‘treasures’ as he referred to them. It was like a dream come true for someone like Han. At first... at first he came home fairly often. For the first few years he always came home at least once a month. Then that turned into every other month, then a few times a year... one year we saw him for one week. That entire year. He was always happy to be home when he _was_ home, but he was always itching to go again the minute he arrived.”

     “So... you started drinking to ease the loneliness?” Rey asked gently.

     Leia nodded, her eyes downcast with shame. “It was casual at first, a glass of wine at bedtime to help me sleep, the occasional cocktail to take the edge off... I started noticing though that life was easier when I was under the influence. The loneliness and the hurt seemed just a little... _less_  when I was drinking. It only got worse. I tried to hide it from Ben but then that day...”

     She swallowed, biting her lip as she remembered. “That day he found me... Han had called me that morning to tell me he wouldn’t be coming home like he had planned. Four more months overseas he said. I hung up the phone and I smashed the glass in my hands on the floor. It felt good. Not as good as the alcohol I proceeded to drown myself in for the greater part of the day though. I couldn’t even feel my face by the afternoon. I was so sick, so _hot_... I climbed into the bathtub hoping to cool myself off but I passed out. The next thing I remember was cold water being dumped on me. I was still off my rocker, head still swimming, and the only emotion I could muster was anger. I struck out at the first thing I could find... Ben. I barely even remember doing it. It wasn’t until much later in the night that I’d even realized what I’d done. I was so ashamed of myself. My poor, sweet Ben. I should have used that moment to make myself realize I needed help... but I was too far gone. I only got worse.”

     Leia crosses the space of the couch then, scooting closer to Rey and grabbing her hand in her own. “I need you to understand, Rey. I _love_  my son. I have always _loved_  my son. The person I was then though... I was sick. So sick. I looked at my son and I saw his father. Every time I looked at his face I saw the man I loved who couldn’t even love his family enough to want to be with them for more than a few days at a time. I’d lost myself. I was barely even a fraction of who I was before the drinking, and now I’m paying the ultimate price. Ben may never forgive me.”

     “He _needed_ you Leia. Even in the short time I’ve known him I can feel how much he needed you.” Rey said sadly. 

     Leia wiped at her eye with the back of her hand. “I know. I let him down. I couldn’t find my way back. I was drowning and I couldn’t seem to pull myself back out.”

     “Until... me.” Rey said quietly. 

     Leia nodded. “I met you at the start of that new year... only a few months after I made the mistake of having Ben put away. I was at my worst. It was only a matter of time before the school caught on and fired me. I took special notice of you that first day. You were so small... so sad. You moved as if you were already gone from this world. As if you were a ghost. I saw... I saw myself in you. For the first time in a long time I... I wanted to help someone. I wanted to help you. That urge shed a little light on the darkness inside me. It was the first clear thought I’d had in I couldn’t tell you how long. I got to know you and even though you were quiet, you were so... _special_. So kind even though the world had never been kind to you. Everything came to you as a struggle but I saw potential there. It gave me new purpose. It gave me a goal. I sought counseling two weeks after having met you. I’ve never looked back.”

     She leaned in, placing a hand to Rey’s cheek and stroking her thumb there. “Rey... I’ve never been able to tell you this before, but _thank you_. You saved me. You really did.”

     Rey stared down at the hand that held hers and felt a twinge in her chest. They were the same hands that had molded her, helped her, _saved_  her. Leia was the same person she’d always known, and yet she was different. The same woman who had shown her more love and kindness than she could have ever hoped for had ruined the man that she had come to love. It made her head spin trying to reconcile the two Leia’s in her mind. It was like they were two separate people. 

     Rey frowned, feeling frustrated and just _tired_. “Leia... I just feel... I feel like I’ve had the rug ripped out from under me. Not only did I lose Kylo... it feels like I lost you too. The Leia I know, the one who in my eyes could do know wrong, _that_  Leia would have never lied to me for her own gain. On top of everything that was thrown on me that day, I had to deal with the fact that the only person who’s ever given a damn about me threw away my feelings in order to help themselves. It didn’t feel good Leia. It hurt. It _still_ hurts.”

     Leia nodded, sighing and giving her a small sigh. “I know. You deserve to be angry with me. I don’t blame you for one second, because I deserve it. I was desperate and I made a stupid decision. That seems to be a reoccurring theme for me.”  

     Rey shook her head. “There’s one thing I just don’t get though. I can almost understand how you came to to arrive at the point you did with the drinking. That doesn’t mean I condone it, but I can try to see it from your point of view... but, _Leia_. How could you throw your own son in prison? He’d just lost his _father_. He was still just a _kid_. _Why_?”

     Leia ran a hand over her face, scrubbing it downwards. She looked so frail, so much older than the Leia that Rey knew. Had she always had such deep lines at the corner of her eyes? 

     “When Han died... a part of me died with him. I’d never felt grief like that. I felt responsible. I’d ruined our family. I should have been stronger. When I saw Ben, I saw his father, I saw my pain, I saw my own _failure_. In my grief I lashed out. I did the unthinkable. I was nothing but a shell at this point in my life. I walked, I talked, I made all the motions of living... but inside I was already dead. None of these truths will ever excuse what I did, what I’ve done. Not to Ben, not to my family, not to you. I don’t deserve Ben’s forgiveness, I don’t even know if I deserve yours. I’m here though, selfishly asking you anyway. You’re the only good thing left in my life Rey. I can’t lose you. I love you like my own and I’m _so sorry_  for hurting you. You’ll never know how much.” Leia said quietly, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, as she grasped Rey’s hand. 

     Rey afforded her a long look, the betrayal she felt was still there, just below the surface. It was as real now as it had been when she’d first came upon Leia and Kylo in Rose’s living room. Still... her heart said that despite all of Leia’s failures as a mother, she was truly remorseful. She couldn’t excuse everything she’d done, but she could work to move past it. How could she not? She loved her. She always would. 

     “Leia. I can’t pretend I’m not hurt. I can’t just pretend that it’s _okay_  that you used me. It will take time for me to get over that. I still love you though. Of course I do. I always will.” Rey said softly, her voice wrought with emotion. 

     Leia nodded solemnly. “I understand. It’s more than I could have hoped for. Lord knows it’s more than I deserve. I love you too, Rey. No matter how much of a mess I’ve made of things, never doubt that.”

     Leia made a face like she wanted to say more, opening her mouth and then shutting it again. Rey cocked her head to the side in question. 

     “What is it?” Rey asked. 

     “It’s just...” Leia started. “I know this is none of my business. I know he shouldn’t have kept things from you... but Ben... don’t make him suffer for the the way his father and I made him. He’s suffered so much loss. I can only assume losing you terrified him more than anything he could imagine.”

     Rey sighed heavily. “I don’t know Leia. It just hurts. Everything we built feels like a lie.” 

     Leia looked away from Rey, staring at a blank patch of wall as she gathered her thoughts. “I don’t know the man that my son came to be Rey, I may never know him. I can live with my mistakes and their consequences- as painful as they may be. What I _can’t_ live with, is knowing that the only two people left in my life that I love are hurting because of pride. No, I don’t know the man Ben is now, but I know the boy he came from and I can’t believe that he meant to hurt you.”

     “It’s not _pride_ , Leia...” Rey sighed.

     “Isn’t it? Look, I’m the last person who ought to be giving advice right now- look at the mess I’ve made of my own life? I have to say this though, the pain I saw in Ben at having thought he’d lost you... I’ve never seen that in him before. Lord knows I’ve seen that boy in all sorts of pain too. I think losing you would be the one thing he couldn’t get over. I don’t know how much this is worth coming from me... but my son deserves a happy ending. Even if he never forgives me... he deserves _you_.”

     Rey felt her eyes sting as tears welled there, threatening to spill over. She dropped her face to her hands, letting her fingers twist into her hair as she huffed in frustration. “I’ve made such a mess of things.” 

     She felt Leia’s hand run warmly across her back, stroking it in comfort. “Shush. You haven’t made a mess of anything. You were hurt and you reacted. Your feelings are valid.”

     “I’m _scared_  Leia.” Rey whispered. “I’ve known him for just over a month and it hurts so bad to be without him. What if... what if he decides one day that I’m not enough? What if he leaves me?” 

     “Rey. You cannot spend your life afraid to lose everything before you even really have it. I know you had a rough start in life, and Lord knows your parent’s didn’t ever do right by you, but you can’t live your life in fear. You have to have _hope_.” 

     Rey’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “What if there is no hope?” She whispered.

     Leia slid her hand under Rey’s chin, tilting it up to meet her eyes. “Honey, hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”

     Rey thought about Leia’s visit long after she left, sprawled out in the middle of floor of her living room floor watching the ceiling fan spin idly. She still couldn’t be sure that she had fully forgiven Leia for her part in all this, but she felt lighter somehow after having talked to her. _Was_ it pride that kept her from reaching out to Kylo? She had told herself that she didn’t know if she could get past the fact that their relationship had been built on a lie. That was true, their beginning hadn’t been entirely real. The feelings she felt though... the way he looked at her, the moments they’d shared, they way he’d _touched_  her. That had all been real... of that she was sure.  

     Her phone buzzed on the floor beside her, and she reached for it blindly, holding it over her head and opening the text message that had come through. It was another link from Rose. She groaned in the empty space of her apartment, typing out a reply. 

      **Rey: I can’t watch it again. Not tonight.**

**Rose: No, Rey? Open it. Seriously.**

     Curious, Rey clicked the link, bringing her to a Swiss blog page composed mostly in French. A video link had been attached near the top, and the preview showed Kylo seated on a plush chair of charcoal leather across from a smiling man with bright blonde hair. Her heart began to race, checking the date on the article and seeing it had been posted this morning. Her fingered hovered over the play button for several seconds as she felt her nerves quake through her body. Taking a deep breath, she clicked it quickly and the video began to play.

     The interviewer began to speak with a musical accent that hinted he primarily spoke French.

     “So glad you could find the time to chat, Kylo.” He said pleasantly.

     Kylo nodded evenly, a soft smile playing at his mouth. “Thanks, Liam. Glad to be here.”

     “Your song... it is causing quite a stir amongst your fans.” Liam pointed out.

     “It’s pretty special to me. I’m glad you guys called to talk about it.” Kylo said truthfully. 

     “Ah,” Liam continued. “But it is my understanding that you have a... how you say, larger motive for being here?” 

     Kylo nodded once more, the side of his mouth going up in a lopsided grin. “Still hoping to get my girl’s attention.”

     “This girl, she is special, no?” He asked. 

     Kylo shook his head, laughing softly to himself. “She’s... everything.”

     “Ah, but she broke your heart?” Liam asked, his face taking on a sympathetic look. 

     Kylo blew a long stream of air between his lips, his face falling slightly. “Actually... I broke hers.”

     Liam tsked, his brow furrowing. “But you hope she will forgive you?” 

     “Yeah... That’s all I can do is hope.” Kylo said somewhat bleakly.

     “Well of course I adore a love story,“ he said, sighing softly. “but Kylo, what will you do if she never comes around? Are you just going to wait around forever?” 

     “Yeah,” Kylo admitted, his chest rising and falling heavily with a sigh. “If I have to.”

     Liam leaned forward, grinning widely as he continued. “Ah, and why would you do tthat?”

     A soft smile played across Kylo’s features, his eyes breaking away from Liam’s as he made to stare directly into the camera. From this angle, it almost felt like he was looking directly at Rey.

     “I suppose that’s because... I love her.”

     Rey dropped the phone, her mouth falling open and her heart pounding against her rib cage, beating a tattoo into the bones. It was one thing to suspect... but to hear him admit it? For _everyone_ in the world to see? Rey felt a smile tug at her lips, starting as a ghost of a grin and catching fire until her entire face was split wide and a giggle burst from her chest. What was she _doing_ here? He _loved her_ \- and she had known all along that she loved him too. That was enough. It was more than enough. It was _everything_.

     She scrambled for her phone that had skittered across the floor, her fingers shaking from excitement as she quickly scrolled through her contacts, pulling up the one she sought and quickly sending a call through. It would be very late where there, but she couldn’t wait a second longer. It rang for several seconds, and Rey had almost given up when she heard it connect. 

     “Mm, hello?” The sleepy voice grumbled through the receiver. “You know it’s the middle of the night here, love.”

     “I know, I’m so sorry for waking you up, but Phasma... I need your help.” Rey said desperately. 

     She could almost feel Phasma’s answering grin through the phone as she replied. “It’s about bloody time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Gah gah gah gah.  
> I’m up way too late having just finished TOMORROW’S update and man I am not ready for this to end. I’m all weepy over a happy ending. Send help.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the beginning of the end. It’s all downhill (and yet uphill?) from here. Prepare for morning fluff and evening smut.  
> Pain Train has left the building.  
>   
> My moodboard was made by the fabulous [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027364/chapters/32307465)! She spoils me and I don’t deserve it. It’s perfect! I love it so much. <3

   

 

      “What a sight you three are.” Phasma said cheekily as she watched the three women trudge across the baggage claim floor of Malpensa Airport. 

      People were condensed as far as the eye could see as they hurried to and from flights, and pressing through them had been somewhat of a struggle in their fatigued states. Fourteen hour flights with a layover were no walk in the park. 

      “You sit on a plane for over half a day and see how you look.” Rose grumbled.

      Phasma cocked an eyebrow. “I’ve been on a plane for most of the last two weeks, dear. Have you noticed how fabulous I look?”

     Jyn let out a bark of a laugh. “Walked right into that one.”

     Rose rolled her eyes, lugging her bag behind her and not saying anything else. Phasma’s eyes fell then to the large rolling suitcase Rey was pulling along behind her, her mouth turning up in a grin at the carnation pink luggage set. She gave a slight shake of her head. “Ah, why am I not surprised?”

     Rey let go of the handle of her bag, leaving it standing where it lay and crossing the short distance between herself and Phasma. She threw her arms around her waist, nowhere near the right height to reach her neck, and hugged her tightly. 

     “ _Thank you_.” Rey said thickly.

     She felt Phasma’s hand come around her, rubbing her back gently. “Oh, love. Never you mind, I was hoping to have a hand in your inevitable reunion. Think of how much Kylo will owe me after this? _Years_ , of favors I tell you.” 

     Rey chuckled softly into Phasma’s chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

     “Don’t apologize, dear. You’re here, that’s what counts.” Phasma told her.

     Rey released her hold around her waist,  offering her a soft smile before grabbing her bag once more.

     “Where do the others think you are right now?” Jyn asked her curiously.

     Phasma shrugged, grinning wickedly. “I told them I needed lady things for the baby and I kid you not, their eyes glazed over. _Boys_.”

     “Did you drive yourself? That’s impressive, Milan is so big!” Rose remarked, impressed. 

     “Well no, I...” she trailed off, her driver suddenly coming into view as he pressed through the crowd.  

     Cassian stopped in his tracks, noticing Jyn standing next to Phasma. Rey watched his mouth part slightly, closing immediately after as he swallowed nervously. He picked up his feet yet again, cutting a slow path across the floor and closing the distance between them. He stopped inches in front of Jyn, looking down at her with an unreadable expression. 

     Phasma leaned down between Rey and Rose, a satisfied smile on her face. “I may have failed to mention to him that I’d invited Jyn and Rose along on this little adventure.” 

     They watched as Jyn looked up at Cassian’s stony expression, her mouth turning up at the corner in a lopsided grin. 

     “Hey, Sour Patch.” She said softly. “Miss me?”

     Cassian shook his head, his mouth twitching slightly as he seemed to be fighting the urge to smile. “ _Me vas a venir matando_.”

     Jyn rolled her eyes. “Now you know I can’t-” 

     He cut her off, thrusting his hands roughly into her hair and pulling her in for a bruising kiss. She sighed into him, pressing against him softly and returning his kiss with fervor.

     Rose shook her head at the sight of them, chuckling softly. “Do you think we’ll ever know what in the hell is going on between them?” 

     Rey shrugged. “Surely by their second child they’ll have to put a label on it.” 

     Phasma giggled into her hand, tugging on Rey’s arm. “Let’s get your bags to the car. Give these two a moment.” 

     They turned, taking their bags with with them and making their way to the entrance of the airport in search of the car.   She led them to a sleek looking SUV that Rey didn’t recognize parked just outside the entrance, and they made their way to it as Phasma lifted the rear gate. They threw their bags in the back, climbing into the backseat as Jyn and Cassian strode out, hand in hand.

     He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand before taking her bag from her and making his way to the back to load it with the others. Phasma has already taken the front seat, so Jyn joined Rey and Rose in the backseat. 

     Phasma turned in her seat, shrugging slightly. “Sorry, love. These legs weren’t meant for a backseat. Would you like a cuddle before we go? I could scooch over, let you climb up in his lap...” 

     Jyn flashed her signature Cheshire grin, shaking her head slightly. “I’m good, thanks. I’ll take a rain check on the cuddle.” 

     Cassian’s eyes met Jyn’s in the rear view, and she gave a wink. He shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips as he muttered something in his native tongue. 

     Phasma gave him a chastising look, shaking her head. “Now you know we can’t understand you when you do that.” 

     He smiled to himself, not looking at her. “I know.”

     Phasma blew a puff of air between her lips in frustration, causing Jyn to laugh from the backseat.

     “So what’s the plan?” Rose asked.

     “Sneak Rey into the hotel so she can freshen up, then get you to the concert. Easy, peasy. Right?” Phasma said cheerfully. 

     “I have Kylo’s spare key.” Cassian told them.

     “You’re sure he isn’t there, right?” Rey asked nervously.

     Cassian nodded. “He’d better not be. He’d better be at rehearsals.”

     Rey let out a sigh of relief, her nerves already taking over as she thought about seeing him again. She hasn’t even quite worked out what she would _say_. That she was sorry? She was. That she’d missed him? Of course she did. It all seemed inadequate compared to what she’d felt in this short time without him. 

     She was quiet on the drive to their hotel, and when they arrived out front Cassian turned in his seat, handing Jyn and Rose a key for their own room and then Rey the one for Kylo’s. He informed them he would be taking Phasma back to rehearsals, and would be by later to fetch them before the actual show. He gave Jyn a heated look before she slid out of the car, and she returned it with a wink. 

     “Everyone around me is in love and it’s making me depressed.” Rose groaned as she followed Rey out of the backseat. “Maybe I should get a cat.”

     Phasma hung her head out of the window, smiling devilishly out at her. “Now, now, don’t lose faith. No need to turn to pussy just yet.”

     Rose eyes closed in frustration, her mouth pursing as she shook her head. 

     Rey giggled, delighted. “I have to say it’s fantastic watching you speechless for once. You might have met your match here.”

     Phasma gave them a wink, rolling up the window before the pair of them pulled away from the curve and made their way down the street. The three of them made their way through the revolving glass doors into an ornate lobby with gleaming tiles and marble columns lining the entry. They strode past the front desk, the classy olive toned woman behind the counter giving them a curious look as they bypassed check-in and pulled their luggage straight to the elevators to head for the room numbers Cassian had given them. 

     Rose and Jyn chatted on the ride up, but Rey was quiet. She was nervous about seeing Kylo again tonight. She felt guilty for having made him wait this long, and even thought she _knew_ deep down he would be thrilled to see her, her stomach was in knots. 

     Noticing her silence, Jyn elbowed Rose  slyly and gave a pointed nod towards Rey. Rose ceased her chattering, casting a concerned look her way and crossing the small space of the elevator to place a comforting hand on her back. 

     “Stop it. You know this is going to be epic, right?” She said assuredly.

     Rey nodded slowly. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Somehow I feel like even if he _is_  happy to see me, that I don’t deserve it somehow. He’s been through so much... and I threw him out without even trying to see his side of things. I’m no better than anyone else in his life.” 

     “Oh, come off it.” Jyn piped up.

     Rey glanced in her direction, her brow knitted as she took in Jyn’s exasperated look.  

     “Listen to me, his past does not outweigh your pain. If he hurt you, then that’s that. He doesn’t get to decide whether it’s valid, nor does anyone else. The important thing is you’re _here_. You flew halfway across the ocean to be with him and that’s what counts. Now chin up, dry those eyes, and sex that boy into a happily ever after. Understand?” She said forcibly.

     Rey bit back a grin, nodding shyly in agreement. “Thank you.” She said gratefully.  

     The elevator slowed to a stop then, the doors sliding open as Rose and Jyn stepped off. Cassian hadn’t been able to get an extra room on the same floor. “This is us,” Rose told her. “We’ll meet you in the lobby in a little while?” 

     Rey nodded. “Sounds good.” 

     They left her then, and she rode the short distance to the floor above alone. She felt her stomach churn when she stepped off the elevator, her heart pounding with every step as she strode down the hall towards Kylo’s room. She had no idea why her nerves were so shot, he wasn’t even here right now. She slid the key into the lock with shaky hands, pushing the handle and letting herself inside.

     It was empty, just as she’d known it would be, and she crossed the small living space that was featured in his suite and dropped her bags on the couch. She took in the spacious room, carpeted with thick, white covering and led off into the open attached bedroom. 

     She slowly made her way to it, letting her hands skim across the comforter as she imagined Kylo sleeping there the previous night. She hummed quietly in her chest, the mental picture of him sprawled out on the stark white sheets enough to make her heart flutter. Taking a deep breath, she shook away those distracting thoughts, knowing that was for later. First she had to _get_  to him.  

     She crossed back to the couch, grabbing her bag and dropping it on the end of the bed to rifle through it. She pulled out her makeup bag and a curling iron that Rose had insisted she’d bring, although she wasn’t entirely sure she could do anything with it. She took both items to the attached bath, flipping on the bright fluorescent lights and setting them on the vanity. 

     She spent the next half hour coaxing her waves into some semblance of a curl. She moved on next to her makeup, opting for a minimal amount of just pink gloss and mascara. She was happy with the overall result, knowing Kylo had never cared if she was overly done up. 

     She returned to the bed, pulling out her outfit for the night. She slid on the gauzy white skirt, the hem hitting just below her knees and showing the expanse of her long legs. She stepped into her tiny black flats one at a time, she was laying it on thick tonight, and she knew it. Speaking of... the last piece of her outfit lay out on top of the bed.  

     She pulled it up and held it out in front of her, grinning wildly. The soft material of her favorite pink shirt was a warm reminder of everything that had happened between her and Kylo, and she couldn’t think of a better way to put a stamp on their reunion. She knew it would drive him crazy, and that made her giddy with excitement. Hopefully if all went well he would be peeling it off her later... 

     She bit her lip, butterflies in her stomach as she thought about the night to come. She pulled the top over her head, smoothing the front and stepping back to glance in the large mirror hanging on the wall. For the first time in almost two weeks she didn’t see any trace of sadness in her eyes. There was a pleasant color in her cheeks, the worry lines that had been constantly set in her forehead had smoothed over, and her eyes had actual life in them. She smiled softly, suddenly impatient to get to Kylo.  

     Rey pulled out her phone, typing out a text to the other girls that she was ready to go and checked the time. The concert would start in less than an hour, and Cassian should be by to get them any time. The official plan was: sneak inside, hide backstage so as not to distract Kylo from his show, surprise him after, and then as Jyn would say... sex him into a happily ever after.  

      **Rose: We’ll head down to the lobby. Jyn says Cassian is on his way back. You ready for this?**

**Rey: You have no idea. :)**

     The venue was already packed when they pulled around front, a line having formed all the way around the building as people waited to get in. Rey couldn’t believe that this far across the ocean people were still so in love with Kylo’s music. She found herself incredibly impressed. 

     “Don’t worry, there’s a rear entrance I’m going to pull around to.” Cassian assured them.  

     He pulled them around to an alleyway behind the building, parking the car alongside a set of wide metal doors that were marked, “Staff Entrance.” They exited the car, Cassian leading the way as he knocked on the doors and flashed a badge at the man who opened it. The girls followed in after him down a long tiled hallway, him leading them through a series of twists and turns that would have confused Rey to no end had she been alone. 

     Cassian stopped just outside a heavy door, turning to look at Rey. “He’ll be in there now you know. For a few minutes until the show starts. Are you sure you don’t want to go in now?” 

     Rey sucked in a shaky breath, her eyes darting to the door as her heart raced. He was just on the other side of this door. She reached out a hand, her fingers sliding over its surface. Of _course_  she wanted to go in now. She was beside herself in her need to see him. It felt selfish though, springing something like this on him moments before he had a show to play. She didn’t want to distract him, or get in his way.

     She shook her head softly. “No, I’ll wait until after.” She told Cassian quietly.  

     Rose reached over to squeeze her hand, and Jyn gave her a pat on the shoulder. 

     Cassian nodded. “This isn’t my place to say...” he started evenly. “But I’m glad you’re here. He’s... happier with you.”

     Rey smiled up at him, her eyes grateful. “Thank you.”

     Cassian cleared his throat, waving a hand in front of his face as if to clear away the awkwardness he felt. “Just means he’s easier to deal with.”

     Jyn scoffed. “There’s my Sour Patch.”

     The corner of Cassian’s mouth turned up slightly, and he instructed them to wait here until they heard music, signaling that the band had left the holding room and were out on stage. They did so patiently, Rey quiet as her nerves threatened to consume her. They sat in the hallway for almost twenty minutes, each one settling in Rey’s stomach like a hot coal, before they finally heard the cheers of the crowd. The band must have made their way out on the stage. 

     They waited moments more to be sure, the sounds of Mitaka’s keyboard blaring across the arena greeting them as the show started. Taking their cue, they made their way through the door and into the holding area, the room now empty. There was a large flat screen mounted on the wall streaming a live feed of the concert beyond the exit. Kylo had already launched into his first song, the cameras currently trained on him as he sang onto the microphone, eyes closed. She noticed he’d shaved since the interview. She’d never seen him without facial hair, it made him look younger, and she wanted to reach out and run her hands over the smooth skin there. 

     Rey plopped onto the small couch in front of it, her elbows propping on her knees to allow her chin to rest in her hands. She watched the show quietly, a soft smile on her face as she felt her nerves tinge with the slightest bit of excitement. She was _here_. In no time at all she would be in his arms. Hopefully- never to leave them again. Her friends joined her on the couch, Rose dropping beside her and elbowing her lightly. 

     “Did you ever think that day we were riding over the concert we’d end up here?” She asked. 

     Rey shook her head. “How could I have known? It’s all been such a whirlwind.”

     “Would you have done anything different if you’d known?” Jyn asked curiously.

     Rey thought about it for a moment. She thought about that first meeting, in a _bathroom_ for crying out loud. She thought of the silly conversations, the stolen moments, the last minute adventures. Her mind then wandered to the sad times. The tears, the lies, the tragic pasts... she thought if all of it as a whole, of everything that had brought her to this moment. None of it outweighed Kylo’s smile, his unfaltering devotion to her, his genuine pain at having hurt her, his _heart_. She shook her head fervently.

     “No.” She said resolutely. “I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

     The three of them sat in comfortable silence for the next hour, Rey a roller coaster of emotion and the other two keeping quiet in an attempt to not provoke her into further anxiousness. Rey could feel the show coming to a close, and the closer it got the more she felt like she would be sick. Her stomach was roiling and her heart was beating like it had been kicked into overdrive. 

     “Are you okay? You’re as white as a sheet.” Rose asked.

     Rey shook her head. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

     Jyn grimaced. “I saw a bathroom on the way here a ways back... want me to come with you?”  

     “No,” Rey assured her as she stood from the couch. “I’ll be right back.”

     She quickly hurried out through the door, making her way down the twisting hallway and making several turns before finally finding a bathroom. She immediately made for the sink, splashing cold water on her neck and scooping some into her mouth. She took a deep breath, gripping the she of the sink and giving herself a mental pep talk. She could do this. He wanted to see her. Everything was going to be perfect.

     Her stomach finally calming down, she gave herself a once over in the mirror, deeming herself acceptable before leaving the bathroom. She made to find her way back to the holding room, but got confused when she hit a forked hallway she didn’t recognize. Had she gotten turned around? She peeked around the corner of each option, not recognizing either one. She had to be close, she could still hear Kylo’s music thumping loudly through the walls. 

     She took the most familiar looking hallway, slowly trekking down it as she tried to catch signs of anything that made her confident she was going the right way. She heard the music go quiet out in the arena, her still walking rather briskly down the hall as she sought the holding room. 

     It wasn’t until she heard the opening notes of “Rey of Light” that she began to truly panic. The show was almost over. He  had taken to singing it at the very end of each show, and she knew if she didn’t hurry she’d miss him when he came backstage again. She broke into a run, the minimal padding of her flats slapping across the tile floor as she hurriedly sought her destination. She finally came upon a heavy door that she was almost certain was the correct one, and she flung herself through it. 

     She _immediately_ regret her decision. 

      She found herself at the edge of a heavy crowd. A sea of bodies jumping about in various states of dark dress. Somehow she’d found a side stage door to the pit area, and she quickly turned to go back from where she’d came. The door didn’t budge- apparently it locked automatically from this side to prevent fans from getting backstage. She wheeled, pressing her back against it as she began to panic. She stood out like a sore thumb here.

      Speaking of, people were already starting to notice her presence, a small group having stopped their dancing to lean into each other’s ears for a conversation. She glanced to the stage, unable to see above it at this angle being so far to the side. People were pointing now, and she could see looks of recognition creeping over some of their features as they took in her face and odd choice of wardrobe. 

     The commotion spread, people stopping what they were doing to lean over each other to get a better look at her. Some people had taken to waving emphatically to the stage, trying to direct who she had to assume was Kylo to check her position. She felt her face flame with embarrassment- this was _not_  how she wanted this to go. She made to take off along the side of the crowd to search for another exit, practically running in her haste. People tried to stop her, speaking rapidly in a foreign language and grabbing for her arm. She pulled out of their grasp, trying desperately to put some distance between her and the stage. 

     She had barely made it even a third of the way to the next visible exit before she heard the song die out with its last notes. She kept her head ducked low, pressing onwards as she made to escape. There was a large following of people who had placed her at this point, all jumping and pointing and doing their best to bring attention to her. She was so close to the exit now, just a little but further and she would- 

     “ _Rey_?” 

     She stopped cold, the sound of her name ringing across the audience, amplified by the microphone that it had been all but breathed into. She stood very still, her back turned to the stage as her heart pounded away; the only sound she could hear in the crowded arena. She took another shaky step towards the exit, but was again pulled back by the sound of his voice. 

     “ _Rey_!” He said more urgently.  

     She took a deep breath, slowly turning as a spotlight rained down on her position, almost blinding her. There was no hiding from him now. He stood only a few yards away, heightened by the stage as she watched him stare down at her. His face was frozen in shock, almost as if he didn’t really believe she was there. She smiled softly, squinting her eyes against the bright light as people ahead of her began to part to clear a path to the stage. 

     She took a tentative step, then another, her eyes never leaving Kylo’s as she slowly made her way through the sea of bodies. People cheered as she went by, some whistling while others gave her a pat on the shoulder as she passed. It felt like hours later when she reached the edge of the stage, Kylo having gravitated to its edge as he dropped to a knee and extended a hand down to her. She gazed down at it with wide eyes, glancing back up at him before sliding her hand into his.

      Kylo pulled her up on stage, the force of it landing her flush against him as his expression remained in awe, as if he _still_ didn’t quite believe she was here. She smiled shyly up at him, so happy to see him that she instinctively ran a hand over his cheek, stroking it lightly with her thumb to prove to herself and to him that she was really here.

      He leaned into her touch, his eyes closing slightly as a deep sigh escaped him. When his eyes opened again, his mouth pulled into soft smile.

     “You’re here.” He said quietly.

     “I am.” She replied happily. 

     “ _How_?” He asked incredulously.

     Rey’s eyes flicked across the stage, landing on a grinning Phasma as she winked back at Rey. “I had help.” Rey admitted.

     His eyes followed hers, chuckling softly when he noticed Phasma smiling conspiratorially. “She’s never going to let me live that down is she.” 

     Rey bit back a laugh, shaking her head. “Not a chance.”

      “Fucking _worth_ it.” He sighed happily. “I can’t believe you’re _here_.”

      “I’m _here_ ,” She told him quietly. “and if you still want me... here is where I always want to be. With you.”

      His eyes clouded with emotion; she saw a flood of relief tinged with an unbridled joy there that made her heart swell.

      “Rey, there’s nothing in my entire life that I’ve ever wanted more than you. Just you. Forever.” He choked out.

      “Then that’s exactly what you’ll get. You deserve forever, Kylo. _We_  deserve forever.” She said happily, letting her arms wind around his neck.

      He pulled her in close, his lips only inches away from her own as his forehead came to rest against hers. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, as if all the stress and fears he’d been holding onto were pouring out of him. 

      Then, he kissed her liked no one was watching.

      His mouth met hers with a fire that warmed her from the inside out, breathing new life into the heart that had frozen in his absence. The crowd behind them went wild, cheering with everything they had as Kylo and Rey clung to each other, kissing as if they would die if they stopped. His hands fisted in the soft material of her shirt, pulling her closer still as if to bind her to him so that she could never run away again. Her hands threaded into his hair, tugging slightly just because she could. 

      When he finally broke away from her, breathing heavily and a permanent smile etched on his face, he gazed down at her with more love than one person should even be able to possess. 

      “Forever?” He asked.

      “Forever.” She confirmed.

     He smiled wide, any remaining pieces of darkness inside of him falling away, leaving only Kylo, _her_  Kylo in its wake.

     Her mouth turned up then, a small smile playing at her mouth as she blocked out the sounds of the screaming crowd and pulled Kylo in close. 

     “Oh, I almost forgot what I came all this way for.” She said sweetly.

     His brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

     She let her hands snake down from his neck, sliding down the hard planes of his chest before taking ahold of the bands of his pink suspenders she’d come to love more than anything else. She tugged at them roughly, forcing him downwards to bring his mouth near hers again. She held him there, every intention to kiss him senselessly again no matter who was watching. 

     She smiled against his mouth, a happy sigh escaping her. “I came to tell you that... I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Kylo spotting Rey in the crowd.
> 
> I cannot even adequately express my love for [gopherbroke](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755733/chapters/34119485). I can’t put it into words how much she means to me. Twice she’s blessed this fic, (and most definitely me) with artwork and twice I’ve been blown away. She deserves all the praise and love I can give. This ending piece is just... it’s just the best thing. It’s perfect, just like her. <3


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Moodboard made YET AGAIN by the amazing [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027364/chapters/32307465). You’re too good to me! <3

 

  She’s here. 

 She’s here.

 She’s _here_. 

      Kylo’s heart had fallen into his stomach the moment he’d spotted her in the crowd. He known it was her instantly and she hadn’t even turned his way. How could he not? He would recognize her in the dark. Every piece of her had been tattooed on his heart and taken up permanent residence there. When she’d turned... his lungs had stopped working.

      _Pink_. So much _pink_. She was a lighthouse in the storm, she was _home_. He’d watched the crowd part, creating a path for her and she’d come, as if pulled by an invisible force. She was here now, right in front of him and he gripped her tight. He was so afraid if he let go she would disappear, and he never wanted to let her out of his sight again.

     She was kissing him softly and he felt like he was drowning in her. Was it possible to die from over elation? His chest was so painfully full that it felt like it would burst. Her _words_. They echoed in his ears like a tune that you couldn’t forget.

I love you too.

I love you too. 

_I love you too._

     It was like music, like a song he could never write because he would never be able to do it justice. Never be able to express the way it made him feel to hear it.  He wanted to hear it every day for the rest of his life. He broke from her, smiling against her mouth.

     “Say it again.” He whispered.

     She pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I _love_ you, Kylo.”

     He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her as he spun her in a circle. She laughed, the sound filling his ears and his heart. His attention was brought back to the massive crowd still crying out random chants of encouragement then, and he leaned into the microphone to address them. 

     “You guys have been amazing tonight, thanks for not letting her get away.” He said, his mouth turning up in a grin. It was met with a wave of whistled cheers. “I’m going to have to end this here, you see,” he continued, pointing at Rey. “She fucking _loves_ me, and I’ve got some _major_ making up to do.”

     He glanced at Rey then, smiling wickedly as his eyebrow raised suggestively. The crowd went wild with a series of supportive whoops, just as Rey smacked his arm, biting back a grin. 

     “ _Terrible_.” She said, shaking her head. 

     “You love me. No taking it back now.” He told her. He grabbed her hand, pulling her off the stage followed by the rest of the band. Jyn and Rose were waiting there, both looking slightly misty eyed as they ran to pull Rey into a hug. 

     “My sweet little bumbling baby. Only you would get lost on the way to the bathroom _twice_.” Rose said thickly.

     Rey laughed, nodding into her hair in agreement. “Kylo and I are doomed for dramatic meetings I guess.”

      “It’s cute as fuck.” Jyn said, patting her on the shoulder. “Damn near made me cry. What the fuck are you two doing to me?”

      “I don’t think it’s _us_ warming that little black heart there friend.” Kylo said with a wink, casting a sly glance towards Cassian.

      He and Jyn shared a heated glance, and she shook her head as she smiled out at him. “You may be right about that.” She told Kylo before leaving them to go to Cassian.

      Phasma lumbered over between Kylo and Rey, throwing her arms around them and pulling them into her tall frame from either side. “Now, I can’t be putting you two back together every time one of you decides to be thick headed. So, let’s try for a happily ever after this time, shall we?”

      Kylo rolled his eyes. “I’m never going to hear the end of this.”

      Phasma clicked her tongue, giving her head a slight shake. “Not a chance in hell, love.”

      Rey giggled, wrapping her arms around Phasma’s waist. “I think I love you, Phasma.”

      Phasma let her head fall to the top of Rey’s. “As do I, dear.” She glanced over at Kylo, wrapping her hand under his chin and giving it a light squeeze. “You too, you arse.”

      Kylo smiled back at her. “Ditto.”

      Phasma released them, clapping her hands together and eyeing her husband. “Seems to me everyone has made shag plans for the night. Buy me dinner, husband and you might get lucky yourself.”

     Mitaka smiled quietly, shaking his head lightly and holding out his hand for her to take. She slid her hand into his grasp, and he pulled her in to kiss her on the cheek. Phasma threw a look at Hux, who was standing off to the side with a content look on his face, watching his friends in their happiness.

      “You’re welcome to come along there, Hux. To dinner- not the shagging mind you. You’ll have to make your own after plans.” She told him.

      Hux let out a flustered sigh. “Dinner sounds good, I’m going to pretend you’re just going home for a nice nap after because, _ew_.”

      He started to follow after them, stopping suddenly before biting his lip and deciding to turn back. “Um, Rose? You have plans tonight? You’re welcome to come with... we could get a drink after?”

      His expression was nervous, afraid she’d say no. Rose regarded him with a furrowed brow, her face contemplative as she arrived to a decision. It was obvious the moment it happened, her expression smoothing over and a small smile forming.

      She nodded back at him. “Yeah... yeah I’d like that.”

      Hux smiled brightly, extending his hand as Rose crossed the space to take it. The four of them left the holding area, disappearing down the halls in search of the exit. Jyn and Cassian had long since disappeared, having snuck out moments after reuniting. 

      Kylo pulled Rey flush against him, his hands traveling over the flimsy material of her skirt before gripping her hip tightly. “I can’t believe you’re here. Rey, I’m so sorry-”

      She placed her fingers to his lips, shushing him before he could finish. “Don’t apologize to me. We left all that across the ocean. Here it’s just you, me, and a fresh start. Understand?”

     He smiled against her fingers before kissing them softly. “Yes ma’am.” His hand traveled up to the hem of her top. His fingers tracing the patch of skin underneath as he groaned. “You’re killing me with all this pink.”

      She brought her hand to his chest, letting a finger trace the band of his suspenders before snapping it against him. “I could say the same thing.”

      He shuddered at the quick contact of the band stinging him through his shirt. “Fuck. I need to get you out of here. Do you have any bags?”

     “They’re in your hotel room.” She told him, offering a sly grin. “Cassian gave me a key.”

     He groaned loudly. “You were in my _room_? _Fuck_ , so much time wasted.”

     “Couldn’t have you running out on your obligations just to see me.” She laughed softly.

     “Fair. I would definitely have had a hard time playing this fucking show... besides, I liked your entrance _much_  better.”  He told her, grinning devilishly. 

      She brought a hand to her face, rubbing her temples as she shook her head. “Only me would get lost so epically.”

     He grabbed her had, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Once again I find myself so glad you got lost, Rey.” He told her happily. “Now, lets get you the fuck out of here so I can show you just how much I’ve missed you.”

     She bit her lip. “Promises, promises.” 

     The commute to Kylo’s hotel proved more difficult than they had anticipated, Cassian having ran off with the car rental and leaving the pair of them to have to hail a cab outside the venue. They’d left out the back exit, making down the alley and coming out behind the building to try and avoid any lingering fans that might be around. Kylo was not in the mood today to interact. All he could think about was Rey’s skin as it met his where their hands were joined. He wanted to taste every inch of it.  

     It had been two weeks since he had touched her. _Two fucking weeks_. Having her here now this close was the equivalent of putting a stash of heroin in front of an addict who had been too long without a fix. He needed her more than he needed oxygen right now. The entire ride to the hotel was torture. He sat next to her, the warmth of her leg pressed to his as he fought the urge to slide a hand under the flimsy skirt she was wearing. It would be so easy... 

     He let the tips of his fingers graze against the side of her knee, dragging it slowly upwards as the soft cotton bunched up under his assault. More of her thighs exposed to him now, he let his hand slide over the top of one, gripping it lightly to part them. His hand came to rest at the junction of her thighs, finding what he sought as Rey struggled above to keep her composure. He glanced at her, her cheeks flushed and her bottom lip held firmly between her teeth as she fought to remain quiet.  

     Kylo traced the seam of her pussy through the thin lace of her underwear, a low groan sounding deep in his chest as he felt the material was already soaked. She was just as needy for him as he was for her. It wasn’t until he felt her hand reaching to palm him through the front of his jeans that a soft moan escaped him, and he quickly disguised it with a forced cough. The driver flicked his eyes to the pair of them in the rear view mirror, shaking his head slightly before turning up the music.

      Rey wantonly reached for the zipper of his jeans, popping the button above before unzipping them slowly and reaching inside. She sighed softly when she was met with the hard flesh of his already throbbing cock, and she squeezed him lightly before running a hand down the rigid length. Kylo’s head fell forward slightly, his hair obscuring his face as he made to steady his breathing. 

      He pressed harder into the lace of her underwear, seeking the taught bud there and rubbing it slowly. Rey’s thighs clenched around his hand, and her own hand squeezed his cock in response, causing him to grip the edge of the seat with his free hand as he struggled not to cry out. When he began to recognize the streets outside, knowing the hotel was close, he gently removed her hand from his pants, retreating his from under her skirt as well before leaning into her ear.

     “ _If I’m going to come it will be later, buried in you as you scream my name._ ” He whispered.

     Rey shuddered visibly at his words, squirming slightly in her seat. It wasn’t long after that the hotel came into view, the cab pulling under the awning as Kylo thrust a generous amount into the driver’s hands and fled from the cab, pulling Rey roughly behind him. She wasn’t walking fast enough for his liking, and halfway across the lobby he swept an arm under her legs, pulling her up against his chest to carry her in bridal pose. 

     They earned themselves several odd looks as they cut a path towards the elevators, but Kylo was too focused on reaching his destination to notice. He hastily jabbed an impatient finger into the call button, tapping his foot as he waiting for the doors to open and causing Rey to jostle slightly against his chest. 

     “Someone’s antsy.” She teased.

      “Woman, I thought I’d never have you again. Now that I know I _can_ , I plan to have my way with you until walking is a chore.” He said roughly.

      Rey swallowed hard, his words causing her to squirm against him. “When is your next show?” She asked softly as the doors to the elevators slid open and he carried her inside. 

      “Three days from now.” He told her. “Don’t worry- we’re going to make use of every single one.” He added, leaning into her to press a bruising kiss against her lips. 

      He barely came up for air the entire ride to their floor, still kissing her when the doors opened once more as he fumbled down the hallway, only breaking from her mouth to set her gently on the floor so he could unlock the door. She backed through the door, pulling him inside by the bands of his suspenders and grinning coyly. 

     He sent up a silent prayer of thanks to his father for leaving behind the old accessories, never more grateful at having taken them up than he was right now. Rey _clearly_ enjoyed them and he was all too eager to take advantage of the fact. Kylo led her into the bedroom, only breaking from her mouth to pull the sinful pink material of her top over her head. 

     There was more pink to be found underneath, a lacy thing that clung to her perfect breasts and was just sheer enough that he could see the rosy color of her nipples peeking out from underneath. Unable to stop himself, he leaned between them, taking a bud into his mouth through the fabric, letting his teeth nibble there and causing Rey to whimper. Her fingers fisted into his hair, pressing him closer to her. 

     Never ceasing his ministrations, his hands found the band of her skirt, fumbling at the zipper before finally managing to work the material down over her hips. He wanted to weep at the sight of the lace underwear that matched her bra underneath. He let his large hands slide underneath the curve of her ass, hoisting her up to him before backing her up to the bed and laying her gently atop it.  He pulled back then, making to remove more of his own clothing as Rey propped up on her elbows to watch. 

     Her eyes widened when he slid the band of his suspenders over his shoulders, letting them clink down to his thighs. He was almost positive her heard her fucking _whimper_ at the sound. 

     “Such a kink you have there.” He attempted to tease. It came out much throatier than he intended, the sight of her so worked up over watching him undress doing unspeakable things to him. 

     Rey only nodded slowly in response, her bottom lip sucked between her teeth and her pupils blown wide, making her eyes appear almost black. He gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it off before shaking his head to tame his mussed hair. Rey’s eyes roamed over his bare chest, and his already stiff cock tightened in response to her heated gaze. He was enjoying this now, and he slowed his efforts to remove his jeans. Popping open the button at a lazy pace, sliding down the zipper at a quarter of the necessary speed it actually took. He watched as Rey squirmed on the bed, clenching her thighs tight as her hand drifted lazily over her breasts to squeeze a nipple through the lace. 

     When he finally pushed his jeans over the firm expanse of his thighs, he heard her suck in a breath. His achingly hard cock jutted between them, heavy and rigid and almost painful in his need for her. The thick head had turned an angry scarlet, already leaking an obscene amount in anticipation of being inside her. He stepped out of his jeans, the action causing him to bob slightly as he fought to maintain his composure. 

     Rey pushed up to a sitting position, her eyes trained on the velvet steel of his cock as she leaned in. He sucked in a shaky breath as he watched her mouth fall over the wide head, her tongue running a path underneath it before sliding up and over the slit to capture the droplets of his precum. Her hands came to rest on the backs of his thighs, her nails digging into the skin there and causing him to suck a hiss of air between his teeth. 

     His mind was reduced to a haze of sounds and colors as he watched her soft pink lips slide down his length, his cock sliding over her tongue and nearly hitting the back of her throat as she determined to take him all the way. She pulled back, repeating the action a little more forcefully and causing him to cry out in surprise. Rey was a _fast_  learner. 

     She bobbed down on him, one of her hands leaving his thigh to reach between them as she cupped him below, his balls already heavy and tight as he felt his orgasm approaching fast. Rey never relented, the feel of her hands, her lips, her _tongue_ , sending him into a full on frenzy. He thrust lightly into her mouth, unable to stop himself from doing so as he lost himself in sensation. He felt it. It was so close that there was no stopping it now.

     “Rey, I-” He choked out. 

     She only gripped him tighter, hot liquid spurting out of him and over her tongue as she swallowed quickly around him. The action only prolonged his orgasm, and by the time he slid out of her mouth he was seeing stars. 

     “ _Fuck_ , Rey.” He ground out. “You might actually be the death of me one day and I _don’t even fucking care._ ”

     She gave him a satisfied smile, falling to her back atop the comforters. He crawled over her, pulling at the straps of her bra before tugging it over her head. 

     “You still have too much clothing on.” He pouted. Tossing the bra aside he added, “besides, I think repayment is in order for _that_  little performance.”

     He dropped down to swipe his tongue across the tight bud of her nipple, pulling it between his teeth as his hand ghosted down the flat of her belly. He slid his hand over the jut of her hipbone, squeezing slightly as she jerked beneath him. When his hand cupped her soaking pussy through the fabric of her underwear, she mewled below him, the sound going straight to his cock. He hooked his fingers into the hem of her underwear, pulling them down over her hips and groaning when his eyes met the bare skin there. He shot her a questioning glance, and she smiled shyly back 

     “Jyn gave me an _emergency_ session before we left.” She said with a laugh.

     “I feel like I owe that woman a very large debt. _Fuck_.” He groaned. 

      Unable to wait another second, he dropped between her legs, his tongue swiping up the length of her slit as he gripped her thighs around his head. He let his tongue swirl around her throbbing clit, pulling it between his lips to suck it more forcefully. Her hips bowed from the bed, and he reached to place a wide palm against the hollow space between her hips, pressing firmly to hold her in place. 

     He assaulted her drenched pussy, never relenting as she cried out again and again. She begged him to stop, she begged him not to, she begged him to do things that made no sense. He fucking _loved_ it. His cock had already returned to full attention and he thrust into the mattress slightly to seek more friction. When he felt her thighs starts to shake around his head, he brought a hand between them to pump two thick digits into her, hooking them upwards to seek the patch of secret flesh there. Her breath released in sharp gasps, her back arching as her thighs clamped down on his head. He felt her quivering inside, her hands fisting into his hair as her orgasm came in waves. 

     It was only when he’d pulled every last shaking wave of her orgasm from her did he relent, raising to his knees before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Rey’s eyes were hooded and glassy, her breath coming out in small huffs as she came down from her climax. He leaned over her, raining her face in soft kisses as slid the wide head of his cock through her still soaked folds.

     She cried out softly, the rigid flesh running over her still sensitive clit. He repeated the motion, coating himself in her  as she squirmed beneath him. He nuzzled his face into her hair, his mouth only inches from her ear.

     “I’m not fucking done with you, Rey. I’ll _never_  be done with you.” He rasped, sliding into her as she stretched to accommodate his length. Her mouth parted, her eyes fluttering closed as he pushed deeper until his hips were flush with hers. He felt her legs wrap around his waist, her heels digging into the muscle of his ass. 

     For a moment he lie still, enjoying the feel of her tight heat enveloping his aching cock. She was _made_  for him. A whimper loosed from his chest, her pussy still spasming slightly from the orgasm she’d just had and driving him insane. He needed to _move_. He pulled out, reveling in the soft pull of her inner walls before pressing back in with more force. Her hands slid over the broad expanse of his back, and he felt her nails dig into the skin there from need. He hissed, the tiny bit of pain sparking a fire in him as he reared back to slam into her. He pounded into her viciously, becoming a machine of touch and sensation as he lost all sense of who he was. There was only Rey. There was only _this_. 

     Words fell from his mouth, frantic and  unrelenting.

_“Rey.”_

_“I love you so fucking much.”_

_“You’re mine. Forever.”_

_“Never letting you go again.”_

     He sputtered blind professions of love over and over as he thrust into her; until he was reduced to a mindless chanting of her name as he felt another orgasm fast approaching.

     “ _Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey._ ”

     She whispered his name in return reverently, like a prayer, spouting equal declarations of her love and only fueling the fire that brewed inside him. When he felt her clamp down on him, her pussy spasming wildly and her back bowing beneath him, he let go. He forcibly thrust into her one final time, holding his hips flush to hers as he emptied himself, painting her insides. 

     She clung to him for several moments, their breathing a collective chorus of gasps and their bodies melded together between coats of sweat. He pressed a warm kiss to her temple, sliding out of her and falling to his side. He pulled her close, propping up on his elbow to take her in, his eyes trying desperately to memorize every line and angle of her face. She gazed at him with hooded eyes, her hand reaching up to sweep the hair from his face. He pulled her close, holding her against him as he reveled in the knowledge that she was here, she was _his_. He felt the quiet notes of a song hum through him, _her_  song. She closed her eyes into his chest, listening to the soft sounds of his humming as they filled her with warmth.

      When he grew quiet, he saw Rey’s eyes open, gazing up at him with awe. “I can’t believe all of this came to be because of an old picture.” She said quietly.

     He caught her hand between his, bringing her fingers to his lips to press a kiss there. “It’s just you, Rey. It’s always been you.”

     “That reminds me.” She told him, eyes widening just so as she shot up to crawl down the bed. He wasn’t sure what was more predominant in his mind, his curiosity at her behavior or the curve of her ass as she leaned over the edge of the bed to dig in her bag on the floor. She found what she was looking for, holding it behind her back as she crawled back to him. He rolled to his back, pulling her astride him so that she was looking down at him. Her hair fell around her face in mussed waves, and her eyes glinted with a pure happiness that made his chest hurt.

      She pulled her hand from behind her back, holding the picture that had started it all. She held it out to him. “I wanted to give this back to you.” She said quietly.

     He moved to take it, but she pulled it back just slightly as she continued. “ _But_ , I need a picture of you in return for my wallet.”

     He raised an eyebrow curiously. “Why?” 

     She smiled softly, leaning in to to press her mouth to his. “Because,” she said against his lips. “you're my home too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  There’s only the epilogue left...  
> <3  
> Big sigh.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Deep breath. ___  
> 

     Rey tried once again to ascertain her surroundings through the dark windows of the town car that had picked them up from the airport. Kylo had whisked her away this afternoon on a private charter, blindfolding her before they landed so she couldn't see any of the welcome signs as they came in. He’d shuffled her into the sleek car shortly after landing, only removing her blindfold after they were well inside... well, wherever they were. 

     They’d spent the last couple of days in Paris as Kylo was heading into the seventh month of his tour, and she would be sad to see it go. She’d loved the beautiful city, and on his off day Kylo had taken her to several of the highlights. They’d visited the Louvre in the morning, strolled outside the Notre Dame after lunch, and had finished their day atop the Eiffel Tower- her burrowing into his coat for warmth as snow fell softly around them. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect day than that one.

     Kylo was quiet next to her, he’d been quiet all day. Whatever he wanted to show her had him very excited, she could sense it in the way his fingers thrummed incessantly against his dark jeans, strumming the imaginary strings of a guitar. She’d noticed over the past seven months that he did that when he was lost in thought, and she found it an endearing habit. 

     She reached across the seat, taking his hand in hers and rubbing her thumb across the back. He smiled quietly up at her, that glint of nerves still present in his eyes. To anyone else he may have just looked tired, but Rey saw it. She saw everything when it came to him. 

     Outside was a quiet street on this late January afternoon, the buildings all appearing to be a light sandy beige through the dark tint of the windows. It was nearing nightfall now, and Rey could see the sun hanging low in the sky across the wide canal they drove beside.

     “I can’t believe you won’t tell me where we are.” Rey huffed from her seat.

      “Where’s the fun in that?” He chuckled softly. He grew quiet again after, his brow knitting in thought. “I called her again this morning.”

      _Leia_.

     Rey still remembered the first time he’d told her he wanted to called his mother. She’d never pushed him, but as Rey continued to call Leia periodically to check in, she noticed Kylo’s questions about her became more and more frequent. She’d sat with him the entire time, holding his hand and smiling through her tears. Their relationship was a rocky one, and it would take time to mend, but they had found their way in the right direction. Rey would be there through it all, the glue that bound them. She had nothing but time. 

     “Oh?” Rey asked curiously. “Any particular reason?” 

     He shook his head, face trained in a passive expression. “Not really. I just had some things to tell her. She sent her love.”

     She squeezed his hand, and he gave her an answering smile that tugged at her heart. 

     “Has Phasma told you what their naming him yet?” Rey asked, trying to break him from this odd mood.

     He shook his head. “Heaven help that little boy when he starts school with a name like _Darth_.”

     Rey giggled. “Says the illustrious _Kylo_ _Ren_.” 

     He gave her a look of feigned offense. “You don’t like my name?” He asked, clutching his heart dramatically before bringing his finger to his chin and tapping it in thought. “Funny... you seem to have no problems shouting it when you-”

     She pinched his arm, causing him to shirk away from her in mock terror. 

     “ _Terrible_.” She said, laughing softly.

     The car lurched to a stop then, parking on the side of an empty street. Snow was falling softly outside, and Kylo took a deep breath before pulling the faded jean jacket tighter around him and opening the car door. He walked around the other side, opening Rey’s and helping her out. She shivered into her jacket, a leather number of pink and navy that Rose had gotten her for her birthday a few months ago- much to Kylo’s delight. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, wishing she’d thought to wear more than just the thin grey sweater underneath her coat. Outside of the car, she noticed the surrounding buildings of the square were not beige as she’d though, but a soft, salmon pink. They were surrounded by pink structures for as far as she could see, boxing them into the empty square that they now stood.

     Kylo led her by the hand down the street, stopping just near an ornate tiled fountain, a gold statue standing in its center. A blanket of snow covered the bottom in lieu of water during these cold months, with more fluttering around them in a gauzy haze. 

     She felt her mouth hanging open as she took in the space, her eyes flying back to him in wonder. 

     “Where _are_ we?” She asked. 

     He smiled softly. “Welcome to Toulouse.”

      Realization hit her then, her mouth pulling up at the corners in a wide smile as giddiness bubbled inside her. “ _The Pink City._ ”

     He nodded shyly, watching her take it all in.  

     “Where is everyone?” She wondered.

     “I may have cleared it out.” He said sheepishly.

     “How in the _world_  did you manage that? She asked incredulously. 

     He ran a hand through his hair, offering her a look that said she absolutely did not want to know. 

     “Kylo... it’s beautiful. _Thank you_.” She sighed happily.  

     “That’s not the best part though. Look there, between the buildings. Just as the sun sets it... well it’s really something.” He told her. 

     He spun her around, pulling her back to his front as she watched the sun falling behind the horizon as the sky took on a rosy shade, tinged here and there with bits of purple, causing the sky to look like a pink daydream. Rey sighed heavily, smiling to herself as she took it in. She felt Kylo’s warmth leave her back, suddenly not leaning into him and she turned to face him.

     She was not prepared to find him down on one knee, a small box held open in his hand. Nestled inside was a thin, diamond-studded gold band with a stunningly large pink diamond resting atop it. Rey’s hands flew to her face to cover her mouth, sucking in cold air as shock ran through her.

     He cleared his throat nervously, his voice shaking slightly when he spoke. “Rey... for ten years you’ve been the only constant in my life. You were the sun in a world of darkness and the light that guided me home. I give thanks _every single day_  that you came into my life and I know that no matter what happens I will never feel more joy than I do _every single moment_ that I spend with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is... I _love_  you, Rey. Marry me?”

     Rey felt tears cloud her vision, spilling freely down her cheeks as she tried to immortalize this moment. She wanted to remember every detail. The way his hair fell in his face, the way his eyes were wide with anticipation, the way his hands shook just so as he clutched the tiny box, the way his chest rose and fell just a little more rapidly than it normally would. Most importantly though, she wanted to remember the way his face had lit up with pure joy when she’d said,

     “ _Yes_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. I can’t believe it’s over! This has been such an amazing ride for me, and I can’t thank you all enough for coming along with me. All of the love and support from you readers has been a serious blessing and I can never thank you enough!  
>   
> SPECIAL thanks to gopherbroke and seekerofhappiness for always putting up with my random texts doubting myself, or half crying because of a less than supportive comment, or wanting to hack apart the entire story in the middle of the night, or not knowing where to go from here. I couldn’t have done it without you! I love you girls. So much.  
> The good news is- I won’t be disappearing from AO3, on the contrary, a new story JUST went up that gopherbroke and I have been working on in our spare time. It’s a porny hilarity of nerdy Ben that I didn’t know I needed. I hope you guys will check it out!  
> New story here: [In Other Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917830/chapters/34556499)


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you reading In Other Words- y’all knew this was coming. For those who aren’t, basically we did a crossover chapter, The Knights of Ren making an appearance in that universe where we learned Rey was pregnant, among other things. ;) If you’d like to skim that chapter to catch up, you can do so [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917830/chapters/37428329). Although... I suggest reading In Other Words from the [beginning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917830/chapters/34556499), because it’s adorable imho. ;)  
> I currently have three epilogues planned, and more than likely a fourth which will be another crossover after In Other Words is finished. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Let’s be real— we’re here because I can’t let go of my suspender kink. *clutches it tight* You can’t make me!  
> 

__

* * *

 

_Kylo_

“ _Rey Jackson_.” Kylo thundered, the poor desk nurse shrinking against his harsh tone. He felt Phasma’s calming hand over his arm, a silent reminder to dial back his anxiety.

He cleared his throat, taking a steadying breath and trying again. “I’m sorry, Rey Jackson. She was admitted a couple of hours ago.”

The woman typed at her keyboard, peering at the screen in front of her and nodding in affirmation. “Yes, she’s up on the fifth floor in labor and delivery. Room 514.”

Kylo was barely able to grunt out a thank you, practically sprinting down the hall in search of the elevators. Hux and Phasma were scrambling to keep up, Mitaka having went on home to put Darth to bed.

The plane ride home had been an anxiety fueled nightmare. Rey was the only thing on his mind, the thought of not being there for her when she needed him most plaguing him. Inside the encasement of the metal doors, he tapped his booted foot nervously, running a hand through his hair several times and mussing it up effectively.

“She’s okay, man.” Hux assured. “Rose said she’s doing great.”

He heard the words, felt the truth in them, but they did nothing to take away the rolling in his stomach. Until he saw her with his own eyes, he knew he wouldn’t be able to calm the storm that brewed inside him. 

The elevator doors had barely slid open when he pushed between them, taking off down the hall towards her room number. He skidded to a stop outside it, knocking as lightly as his trembling limbs would allow. Rose pulled the door open seconds later, ushering him inside. 

He moved to the edge of her bed, finding her dozing softly, the hospital blanket tucked under her chin. He breathed a sigh of relief, the peaceful expression on her sleeping face putting him instantly at ease. 

“How is she?” Kylo whispered, sinking into the chair next to her, his eyes never leaving her face. 

Rose pat him on the shoulder encouragingly. “She’s doing great. They came and gave her an epidural about an hour ago. Thank God, her contractions are bearable now. The doctor urged her to get some rest. She’s got a big job ahead of her.”

Kylo nodded, reaching to slide his hand lightly over hers. He stroked her knuckles softly with his thumb, releasing a pent up breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. “Thank you.” He told Rose. “For staying with her.”

She waved him off. “I always take care of my girl, punk boy. You know that.”

He grinned up at her, nodding his head in gratitude. Rose stretched then, a yawn escaping her. “You bring my boyfriend with you?”

Another nod from Kylo. “He should be in the hall with Phasma.”

“Awesome.” She answered. “I’m going to have him take me home. Give you two some privacy. I’ll be back in the morning, okay? Hopefully my niece and nephew will be here by then.”

“Here’s hoping.” Kylo agreed. 

She left then, shutting the door softly behind her and Kylo returned his attention to Rey, watching her sleep. He noticed a jolt underneath her blanket, grinning as her belly went off in a series of kicks from one or both of the twins. He placed a hand lightly there, smiling to himself. 

“You two try not to give your Mama too much trouble coming out, you hear?” He urged quietly. A kick sounded against his hand as if in answer, and he smiled wider, leaning back in his chair. He let his head rest against the back, his eyes drifting closed as the late hour caught up to him. He fell asleep to the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor, letting the sound lull him to sleep.

* * *

 

_Rey_

Rey woke to a hand at her shoulder and a soft voice in her ear. “Hey honey, sorry to wake you but I need to get your blood pressure.”

Rey peeked open an eye, peering sleepily up at the lithe nurse at her bedside. The nurse smiled at her, sliding a cuff over her arm. “My name is Amilyn.” She informed her. “We just had a shift change, and with you being dilated to an eight it’s probably safe to say that I’ll be with you for the rest of the ride. How are you feeling?”

Rey shrugged softly. “Okay. Uncomfortable mostly.”

“I should say so, you’re working for three now.” Amilyn laughed. She nodded to the other side of the bed then, directing Rey’s attention there. “At least you’ve got good company.”

She took in the sleeping form of Kylo folded into the chair beside the bed, her face lighting up in a grin. His mouth was parted slightly, soft snores of sleep escaping him. 

An alarm on her monitor jolted him awake, an incessant beeping sounding as Amilyn peered at the readings. “Your blood pressure is a little high. I’m going to give these to the doctor and see what he says.”

“What does that mean?” Kylo leaned in, wiping the sleep from his eyes and frowning. 

Amilyn gave him a reassuring look. “It can be fairly common, but he’ll want to monitor it I’m sure. I’ll be back soon.”

She left them, Kylo turning to Rey and leaning over her bed. “Hey, you.”

She grinned softly, reaching to push the wild strands of his dark hair from his eyes. “Have a good flight?”

He scoffed. “Fuck no. Worried sick the entire time. Don’t appreciate that little stunt you pulled, you could have talked to me on the phone.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh at his disgruntled expression, running her hand over his cheek. “I know how you are. You’d have gotten beside yourself and I was stressed out enough as it is.”

“I don’t get _beside_ myself.” He grumbled.

She cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. He rolled his eyes, conceding. “Okay, so I probably would have shouted.”

“You _did_  shout.” She laughed. “I could hear you from across the room when you were talking to Rose.”

He shook his head in defeat. “How are you feeling?”

“Just tired. Of course _your_  children would see to it to keep me up all night.” She chuckled.

Kylo grinned back at her wickedly, winking. “I always make it worth your while.”

She shook her head. “Terrible.”

“Only for you, babe.” He assured.

Amilyn returned then, an older man with eyes that seemed too large for his face and dark red hair in tow. He leaned to shake Kylo’s hand, smiling warmly. 

“We haven’t met, I’m Dr. Ackbar.” He offered in greeting. He turned to Rey’s monitor, looking over the readings on the screen. He frowned, shaking his head. “Definitely a little higher than we’d like. I’m going to check your dilation.”

He moved to the sink, washing his hands quickly and then pulling on a pair of gloves from the dispenser on the wall. He came to sit on a wheeled stool between Rey’s legs, pulling back the blanket and reaching between. Rey had to bite back a smile at Kylo’s unhappy expression, knowing he didn’t like another man touching her, even a doctor. To his credit he was quiet, letting the doctor do his job in peace. 

Dr. Ackbar finished his examination, looking up at the pair of them and grinning. “Good news— you’re officially dilated to a ten. Are you ready to have these babies?”

* * *

 

_Kylo_

“Can’t you give her something? Something for the pain?” Kylo floundered. Watching Rey grimace and cry out with each push was wrecking him, her hand clamped tightly around his and sweat pouring down her brow. 

“We don’t want to give her anything else and risk her oxygen levels dropping.” Dr. Ackbar assured. “Her epidural is still in place, but the the baby is turned face down in the canal. We’re trying to encourage them to turn the other way.”

Rey moaned, her head dropping to her chest as another contraction struck her. Dr. Ackbar leaned in, encouraging her. “Alright, Rey. Now push on three. One, two, _three_.”

Rey let out a strangled cry, bearing down as she gripped Kylo’s hand so hard he felt the blood leave his fingers. He pressed his lips to her temple, murmuring  against her damp skin. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’ve got this.”

“The baby is turning!” The doctor said triumphantly. “You’re doing great, Rey. Don’t push, hold off until I say.”

“It _hurts_ , Kylo.” Rey whimpered. He felt helpless, wanting more than anything to do something, _anything_ to take away her hurt. 

The doctor’s voice broke through his inner turmoil, sounding out through the space. “Okay, I think we’ve got it. Push on three. One, two, _three_.”

Rey pushed with all her might, screaming from effort. Kylo stroked her hair, whispering words of encouragement. Rey rushed out a breath as the doctor grinned. “Head is out. Just one more big push for the shoulders. I’m going to count to three again, push as hard as you can for ten seconds. Ready? One, two, _three_.”

She bore down, clenching her jaw as a strangled cry tore from her throat. The doctor counted to ten, encouraging Rey to keep it up for as long as she could stand. He made it to “eight” before halting, his words cut off by a sharp wail. 

“It’s a girl!” He gushed, pulling her into his arms and showing her to them. Kylo’s mouth fell open at the sight of her, her tiny fists clenched and her mouth open wide as she continued to cry. She was _perfect_. 

“Do you want to cut the cord, Dad?” The doctor asked kindly. 

Kylo stared back at him, dumbstruck. Finally gathering his senses, he nodded, moving from Rey’s side as a nurse handed him a pair of shears. He cut at the spongey cord carefully, his eyes locked on the tiny form of his daughter. The nurse took her away when it was done, moving her to a weighing station to clean her up. 

“Alright guys, we’re not done yet. Little boy is coming!” Dr. Ackbar informed them, pulling Kylo’s attention back to Rey. He gave one last look at his daughter, being tended to by the nurses before rushing back to Rey’s side. Her eyes were closed, her breath leaving her in sharp pants and her face set with fatigue. 

“So tired.” She whispered.

“I know, baby. You’re almost done.” He assured her.

“How did she look?” Rey asked.

Kylo smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “She’s perfect. Fucking perfect.”

Rey smiled lightly, sighing in relief. She grimaced then, a contraction tearing through her as the doctor calmly directed the room. 

“I see the head. You know what to do Rey. One, two, _three_.” He urged.

The second delivery went smoothly, their little boy coming into the world less dramatically than his sister. He let out one sharp cry before it faded into a soft whimpering, his eyes wide open and searching. Kylo cut his cord the same as his sister’s, watching as the nurse took him to join her on the table. 

He waited patiently with an exhausted Rey, pressing fervent kisses across her face and praising her quietly. When the nurses brought the babies to them, holding them in offering, Rey leaned upwards with a smile. She took the girl, cradling her to her chest and cooing at her. That left their son, the nurse placing him into Kylo’s arms gently as he pulled the tiny bundle to his chest. 

Kylo had never seen anything as beautiful as the tiny person he held in his arms, his heart swelling to impossible proportions. He pressed his lips to his son’s forehead, squeezing his eyes tight against the threat of tears stinging there. He scooted closer to Rey, her giving him a soft smile as tears trailed down her face. 

“Kylo,” she sighed. “They’re _beautiful_.”

He nodded, beaming back at her. “Just like their Mama.”

She leaned to press a kiss against his mouth, a relieved giggle bursting from her chest that fought through her tears. 

“We still have to name them.” Kylo emphasized. “Have you decided yet?”

Rey smiled down at their daughter, nuzzling her nose against her cheek. “This one’s Jaina.”

“Jaina.” Kylo tested, liking the way it sounded. “Jaina Ren. I like it.”

He returned his attention to the sleeping bundle in his own arms, pressing a kiss to his son’s cheek. “And this little guy?”

She glanced over, reaching to another a thumb across the infant’s brow. “Jacen.”

Kylo grinned, his eyes crinkling with the force of his joy and he leaned to kiss her soundly. “I love it.” He murmured against her mouth. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.” She echoed. She looked between the two children, unable to suppress the wide smile that ruled her face. “Did you ever think this is where we’d end up? That night in the bathroom of all places?” She mused. 

Kylo shook his head, laughing softly. “I can’t say I did... but I’ll say it again... I’m _so_ glad you got lost, Rey.”

* * *

 

_Eight Weeks Later_

_Rey_

“Kylo!” Rey yelled across the house. “Bring me a diaper!”

She grimaced at the mess, Jacen having left her a much bigger surprise than she’d bargained for when she’d brought him to the changing table and finding the dispenser empty.

“Sumwun ish shtinky.” Rey cooed, the bright eyed boy gazing up at her curiously. Jacen was far calmer than his sister, rarely crying unless hungry or in need of a change. Jaina on the other hand... even now she wailed in her crib, acting as if Rey hadn’t _just_  fed and changed her. That girl was going to be a handful. 

Kylo strode in with a new box of diapers, pulling one out and handing one to Rey before moving to fill the carrier hanging on the wall next to the changing table. When he’d finished he quickly went to the crib, scooping up the whimpering baby girl and cradling her to his chest. 

“This one is going to give us trouble.” Kylo chuckled. 

Rey rolled her eyes. “Well, I can tell you _exactly_ where she gets that from.”

Kylo gave her a mock look of indigence, leaning in to whisper at Jaina. “Do you hear her telling stories on us?” He gasped playfully. “Your Mama thinks we’re trouble.”

Finally settled, Rey gingerly picked up Jacen, moving to the rocker to feed him and rolling her eyes. “The jury may be out on her,” she said. “But I _know_  you’re trouble.”

“You love it.” He teased.

“I do.” She affirmed, grinning softly.

She watched as Kylo gently rocked their daughter, humming softly in an attempt to calm her. She smiled when she recognized the familiar notes of her song, her heart swelling. Kylo had taken to fatherhood like a flower to water, never ceasing to amaze her in his attentiveness. He was on an indeterminate leave from his tour life, content to be home with the three of them. She sighed softly, her love for him overflowing and threatening to spill. 

She hoisted her shirt then, popping open the clasp to her maternity bra and offering her breast to Jacen’s waiting mouth. Kylo halted as he watched, biting his lip softly. When she peered up at him curiosity, he quickly averted his gaze, carrying Jaina out of the room and muttering about giving her privacy. 

She frowned as he left, frustrated that he was still acting like this. He’d been skirting around her as if she were fragile, acting as he if were afraid to be alone with her. It was driving her positivity mad. She’d been cleared for sex two weeks ago, but every time they’d even thought about having a quiet moment together Kylo found an excuse to avoid it.

She had to admit it was starting to hurt her feelings; she knew how insatiable Kylo was most of the time and his blatant avoidance of her now was trying. She’d wondered more than once if he found her less attractive now. Her stomach had almost returned to normal, thanks to the wonders of breastfeeding, but she definitely had small streaks of stretch marks at her hips and even under her navel.

She shook her head as she rocked Jacen, pushing that thought away. That wasn’t Kylo. Still... something was obviously bothering him. She sighed heavily, Jacen cooing at her chest and she smiled down at him before running a thumb over the tuft of dark hair smattering his head. She let her head fall back against the rocker, still pondering on what she should do about her suddenly shy guy. 

* * *

“He’s being noble.” Phasma said, rolling her eyes. She’d come over after Kylo had left with Mitaka, Darth at Phasma’s mother’s for the day and leaving her bored. 

Rey scrunched her nose. “Noble?”

Phasma nodded. “He’s afraid he’ll hurt you.”

“You really think that’s it?” Rey asked incredulously.

“Doph went through a period of it as well.” Phasma assured her. “Watching us give birth is traumatic for them. He’s probably afraid his cock is going to warp you.” She said the last bit with a roll of her eyes, laughing. “Leave it to Kylo to think that much of his cock.”

Rey giggled, blushing slightly. “It _is_  pretty impressive.”

Phasma covered her ears. “Where’s my sweet Rey who couldn’t talk about this stuff?”

Rey threw back her head and laughed fully then, shaking her head. “Still in there, blushing away.” She furrowed her brow then in thought, glancing over at the twins napping in their swings. “So what should I do?”

Phasma winked. “Honey, if your stubborn arse of a man is trying his damndest to resist you... you just have to make yourself _irresistible_.”

Rey heard at the edge of her lip, thinking. “How do I do that exactly?”

“You know your boy.” Phasma assured. “You’ll figure it out.”

Rey nodded, her mind spinning with ideas. Phasma nodded her head towards the babies, taking a steeling breath. “Why don’t you send me home with some pumped milk and I’ll keep them tonight.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. “Oh, Phas. I couldn’t. Between them and Darth you wouldn’t get any sleep.”

Phasma grinned, winking. “Honey, I can sacrifice a little sleep if it means my sweet girl won’t be getting any sleep either.”

Rey blushed, grinning back at her. She glanced over at the twins, nervous at the thought of being away from them all night. She let her mind wander to a entire night alone with Kylo however... the idea too enticing to pass up. She looked back at Phasma excitedly, throwing her arms around her middle. 

“You’re the best.” Rey gushed.

Phasma pat her back sweetly. “Oh, love... I know that.”

Rey’s mind was turning as she went to pick up a now grumbling Jaina, ideas running through her head in a blur. She smiled softly to herself as a thought struck her, thinking of just the thing. Kylo wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet, having gone to a meeting with his manager, and she would be more than ready for him when he got back.

* * *

_Kylo_

Kylo came in the front door, kicking off his shoes by the mat and stretching. It was after nine, his meeting having ran far longer than he would have liked and he’d rushed home to get to his family. 

 _Family_. 

The word still took Kylo by surprise sometimes. For years he’d been sure he’d never have one of his own, and now look at him. He couldn’t help but smile, his good fortune overwhelming. He went through the house quietly, knowing this was around the time the twins went down for the first time. He groaned softly at the thought of spending another few hours next to Rey, lying awake when he should be catching up on sleep and staring at her dozing form.

He ached to touch her, her warm body next to his pure torture but he found himself holding back. Watching her give birth to their children, that pain she’d endured, it had wrecked him. He was terrified of doing anything to cause her any more pain. He just wanted to be _absolutely_ sure she was all healed. Soon, though. There was no way he could hold out much longer.

He crept to the twin’s room, wanting to get a glimpse of them before retiring to his own. He pushed open the door quietly, tiptoeing to the edge of their cribs and peering inside. He was surprised to find them empty, wondering if maybe Rey had fallen asleep holding them again. The house was definitely too quiet for them to still be awake.

He made his way down the hall, coming just outside his bedroom and pushing open the door. His breath caught by what he found, Rey draped across their bed on her side, her chin resting on her fist. 

“Where— where are the kids?” Kylo choked out.

Rey grinned coyly. “Phasma’s.”

He blew out a shaking breath, his eyes roving down her nearly naked form hungrily. She wore lace boy shorts of a bright pink, the color alone enough to have his cock stirring in his jeans. That wasn’t her only surprise however, clipped to the band of her underwear were metal pieces he recognized, attached to the rosy hue of his favorite pair of spends. The straps curved up her body, cinched tight and grazing over her nipples to barely cover them.

She wore nothing else.

He knew his mouth was hanging open, and he knew he was standing there like an idiot unable to form a coherent thought. 

“Don’t you want to join me?” She simpered, running a hand over the comforter suggestively. 

“Fuck, yes I do.” He rasped, his shirt collar seeming too tight. “But Rey... don’t you think it’s too soon?”

Rey let out a sigh, shaking her head lightly as if affirming something to herself. “Kylo... I’m _fine_.”

He took a tentative step, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. “Are you sure?”

She shook her head. “I’ve been okay for _weeks_... wondering why my normally insatiable man doesn’t want me.”

Her face fell with those words, and he realized then that she was insecure. _He’d_ made her feel that way. He wanted to kick himself for his own stupidity. He scrambled over to the bed, crawling over her as she fell to her back and he stared down at her heatedly. 

“Baby, there isn’t a single moment that I don’t want you.” He assured. “Not a single god damned one.”

She bit her lip. “It’s just... I know my body looks different...”

His eyes went to the tiny stripes at her hip. “You mean these?”

She nodded, frowning.

Kylo shook his head, bending to press his lips to the marks. He let them trace a path across her stomach to catch the tiny etches under her navel as well, continuing onwards to the other hip. 

“These marks mean you gave me _life_. Rey, you gave me a _family_. These marks are the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” He growled into her skin. 

Rey shivered beneath him, her eyes fluttering closed under his touch as she pulled her lip firmly between her teeth. He rose back over her then, bracing himself on his hand and letting his fingers toy with the pink strap over her breast. 

“Well... until now that is.” He rasped. He plucked at the strap, pulling it upwards and letting it snap back lightly against her nipple. Rey whimpered, the sound going straight to his cock. “This outfit is... interesting to say the least.”

She grinned shyly. “You like it?”

He grabbed her hand, pulling it to the strained fabric at the zipper of his jeans and letting her palm settle there. “See for yourself.”

She stroked him, feeling his cock tented beneath and he pressed into her hand, groaning. “Every night... for _weeks_ , I’ve only thought about rolling over and pressing into you. I’ve _dreamt_ about your pussy wrapped around my cock. Of _course_ I want you, Rey. I’ll _always_  want you.”

Rey grinned, her hands going to his waist to pull him close. “Well,” she said coyly. “Here I am.”

* * *

 

_Rey_

Kylo leaned back, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. Rey hummed appreciatively at the expanse of taut muscle on display, running her hand over the colorful scene over his heart. She smiled, the sight of the tattoo he’d gotten for her still making her as happy as the day he’d come home with it.

“As much as I love this...” Kylo assured her, letting his finger slide under the strap of his suspender again. “I need you naked.”

He reached to unclip them at the waistband of her panties, the straps falling slack and baring her nipples to him. A rumble sounded through his chest, his wide palm covering her breast and squeezing gently. 

“Fuck I missed this.” Kylo groaned.

Rey arched into his palm, her mouth parting and her eyes shutting tight to revel in his touch. He reached behind her to unclip the straps at the small of her back, pulling the suspenders away in his and eyeing them deviously. He turned to her, a wicked grin on his face. 

“Do you remember our first time?” He asked lowly. 

Her breath caught, remembering it well and she nodded in affirmation. He grasped her wrists, crossing them above her head and wrapping the pink straps around them before tying them tight. She found it impossible to move them, bound tightly the fabric and leaving her helpless beneath him.  

He smoothed his hands down her sides, settling at her underwear and toying with the hem. He glanced up at her, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Fuck _me_ , Rey. This color... it’s still my favorite.”

He wrenched them down then, pulling them off her legs to leave her naked. She squirmed under his gaze, anxious for him to touch her but he merely hovered to take her in. After several moments, he reached his hand between her legs, parting her slick folds and letting out a heavy breath. 

He slid two fingers into her, grinding them upwards and causing Rey to gasp. “ _Kylo_.”

“Shh,” he soothed. “I’ve got you.”

He began to languidly pump his fingers in and out of her, intermittently bringing them upwards to press into her clit before returning below. “Did you miss this, Rey?”

She nodded softly, her lip trapped between her teeth. He squeezed her hip in his free hand, continuing his torturous assault. “What did you miss?”

“ _You_ , Kylo.” She breathed. “ _This_.”

“Did you miss my cock?” He asked roughly. 

She moaned as he curled his fingers upwards, rubbing that sensitive spot just inside. 

“ _Yes_.” She hissed.

“Say it, Rey.” He demanded. “Say you missed my cock.”

Rey was dizzy in his attention, reveling in his filthy mouth and filthier demands. “I missed— ah, I missed your cock.” 

Her skin was flushed enough to hide the blush that surely crept up her neck, the surge of embarrassment she felt at meeting his demands never really going away despite the thrill it gave her.

“Good girl.” He mumbled. “Been dreaming about this perfect pussy. If I wasn’t so eager to bury myself inside you I’d have my mouth all over it. Maybe after.”

He leaned then, her eyes opening to watch as he deftly undid the button of his jeans. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the dark thatch of hair revealed to her as he bunched the denim down his thighs, knowing he wore nothing underneath. His cock sprung free from its confines, Kylo kicking at his pants until they lay in a heap on the floor. 

He wrapped his fist around his length, stroking it lazily as he rested over her, propped up by one hand. 

“Grab the comforter,” he asserted. “Don’t let go.”

She obeyed, grabbing a fistful of the covers beneath her bound hands and gripping it tight. He leaned to slide his cock through her slit, coating himself in her arousal and rocking back and forth. His head fell forward, his hair hanging in his face as he grunted. 

“ _Fuck_.” He moaned. 

Rey mewled beneath him, twisting her hips anxiously in a silent plea for him to take her. He moved to oblige, pressing at at her entrance with the head and sinking inside. Rey held her breath, focusing on the feel of is thick cock filling her, stretching her inner walls.

When he bottomed out, his pelvis meeting hers, he blew out a breath. “I could live like this.” He assured her. “Do you want me to move, Rey?”

She nodded fervently. “Yes.”

“How do you want it, baby?” He crooned. 

He slid outwards, pressing back inside at a creeping pace. “Slow?” He pulled out again, snapping back inside forcefully. “Fast?”

Rey’s head was a daze of sensation, her body humming with need. “Kylo,” she growled. “It’s been two months. Stop teasing me and _fuck_ me.”

Kylo choked out a laugh. “Yes, _ma’am_.”

He gripped her thighs, bringing her legs to his chest and holding them. He began to rut into her, jolting her with each thrust. His skin slapped against hers, the sound mingling with their collective pants. He let her ankles rest on his shoulders, sliding his hand between her legs and rubbing at her clit ferociously. 

Rey could already feel herself losing it, her orgasm like a wave cresting inside her and threatening to tumble over. She came around his cock, her pussy fisting him tight and eliciting a sharp grunt from him. He barely gave her time to come down, sliding out of her and flipping to her stomach, causing her to lose her grip on the bedspread. 

He stepped down to the floor, pulling her to the edge of the bed and leaving her ass exposed over the side. “Hold on, Rey.” He urged, hoisting her ass high and thrusting back into her. 

She cried out as he filled her once more, gripping the blankets desperately as he pounded into her. She was still raw with orgasm, her body flushed and sensitive and every drag of his cock rocked through her like lightning. Already she could feel herself reaching the edge again, her legs shaking as she pushed back into his thrusts wildly. 

Kylo’s breath left him in sharp gasps, his thrusts growing messy and erratic. “Fuck, Rey— I’m going to—” 

“ _Come_ , Kylo.” Rey urged. “Come inside me.”

He snaked a hand under her hips, seeking her still sensitive clit and swiping at it roughly to aid her ascent. It took almost nothing to press her over the edge, her body still alight from her first orgasm and she felt her second tear through her roughly, reducing her to a quivering mess. 

Kylo moaned low, slamming into her spasming warmth as he gushed inside, his cum filling her up as his cock twitched violently with each jet. He leaned over her, his hands planted firmly into the mattress and his hot breath falling on her shoulder in sharp huffs. 

It took several moments for them to come down from their high, Kylo finally peppering her shoulder with kisses before sliding out of her with a groan. She felt warmth trickle down her thigh, his spend seeping out of her as it overflowed. 

“I hope your new birth control is more effective.” Kylo chuckled. 

He flipped her to her back as she barked out a laugh, shaking her hands. “Yes, hopefully this one is more apt to withstand your mutant sperm.”

“Hey,” he asserted. “It’s not my fault that I’m so fucking awesome.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You put another baby in me right now you’ll never make it back to touring.”

Kylo shrugged. “This is more fun anyway.”

She grinned as he moved to undo the ties that bound her wrists, freeing her from them and rubbing them gently to work out any soreness. He lifted her from the bed, cradling her against him before dipping into the mattress to fall to his back, pulling her into his side.

She sighed contently, snuggling against him as his thumb traced lazy circles into her shoulder. 

“Give me a little bit and we’re doing that again.” He assured her. “Who knows when we’ll get another night off.”

She nodded into his chest, smiling. “I miss our alone time... but it’s worth it.”

He hummed in approval. “It so is. We make awesome little people.”

“Mm,” she agreed. “Pretty too.”

“Yeah, they must get it from me.” He teased. 

She pinched his side, causing him to squirm away before returning to her, laughing. He pressed a kiss to her temple, running his hand down the length of her arm and taking her hand in his. He pulled her hand into his palm, turning it to rub a thumb over the pink gem in her engagement ring. 

“You know,” he started. “I’m _pretty_  sure you’d fit into your wedding dress now.”

She grinned, peering up at him and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “You know,” she answered. “I just bet you’re right.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
> ...but that’s not all. Here’s the first chapter of Jyn and Cassian’s sequel/sidestory! :)  
> [Everything Is Blue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16051271/chapters/37474034)


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I promised these epilogues and I am procrastinator, not a liar. Here’s hoping it was worth the wait! Revisiting these two always makes me emotional. They hold such a special place in my heart and I actually decided to post this on Thanksgiving because I am just _so_ thankful for what this story has brought me. I’ve received such positive feedback and even months after it’s (technical) completion people randomly reach out to tell me how much they love it and I just cannot tell you what that means to me. For every person who has shown this story love, I love you in the most non creepy internet stranger way I can muster. For every person this story led me to that I now love just as much as any irl friend (special nod to CaP), I am just so thankful. Anyway, sorry for getting emotional. I drafted just after finishing and I’m still in feelsville.  
>  Love you guys!
> 
> P.S. special thanks to a few choice OG Reyl-hoes for pushing this blushing smut writer to be dirtier, I love you filthy animals. Also, to my wife [LoveofEscapism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveofEscapism/pseuds/LoveofEscapism) for being the best beta editor on this planet.  
> P.S.S. I’ve linked the songs in their appropriate places, and I highly suggest you let them play when prompted. Le sigh.  
>  _Okay seriously KTF stfu and let them read._

* * *

  _Kylo_

Four times. He’d checked his tie four fucking times. Not once had he found it askew, and yet every ten minutes he felt the overwhelming urge to check it again.

“Dude, chill out. You’re stressing _me_ out.” Hux laughed from the couch in the room they were using as a base of operations. “What’s your deal? I _know_ you’re not getting cold feet.”

Kylo scoffed. “Of course not.”

“Then what’s up? You’re acting like a damned bird right out of the nest.” Hux laughed.

“I need this day to be perfect. For her. She deserves everything to go perfect,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“It’s going to be _fine,”_ Hux stressed. “Phasma has this shit planned down to the minute. Rey was either really lucky or terribly unfortunate to have enlisted Phasma in the planning process.”

Kylo snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, based on Phasma acting like some sort of General the last few months… I’m not sure which I’d vote for.”

Hux scoffed. “As if Phasma would be a General. I’m more General material… she could be my Captain. Maybe.”

“Don’t let her hear you saying that,” Kylo warned amusedly.

Hux gave Kylo a look that said he was more than aware of that fact. “Right. I actually enjoy breathing thank you very much.”

Mitaka strode in then, a collected looking Cassian in tow. “My wife says it’s almost time for us to take our places.”

Kylo glanced at the mirror again, reaching for the pink satin at his collar and Hux slapped his hand away. “Leave the fucking tie alone. Everything is going to be perfect.”

Kylo nodded, blowing out a shaky breath. “It is, I know it is.”

“Anything else bothering you?” Hux pressed.

“Just… I never thought I’d be here. You know? All my life… all I ever wanted was a real family. Growing up like I did… I never—” he had to pause to suck in a breath, feeling emotion welling in his chest. “I never thought I’d have what I do now. Rey and the twins… they’re more than I could ever hope for.”

Hux clapped a hand to Kylo’s shoulder, surprising him by pulling him in for a tight hug. “You deserve it. You deserve everything you have. You know that, right?”

Kylo gripped at his friend’s shoulders, more grateful in that moment for his friendship than he’d ever been before. “Thank you. I mean that.”

He stepped away then, the shine in his eyes matching Kylo’s and he shook his head rapidly as if to clear the lingering cloud of sentimentality. “Okay, enough of this girl stuff. Let’s get you married.”

Kylo beamed back, wanting nothing more than to do just that. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Let’s do this.”

* * *

_Rey_

She couldn’t believe it was time. In a mere matter of minutes she would belong to him in every way. She had been through so much with Kylo, so much life experienced in what was ultimately such a short time and in many ways she felt as if she belonged to him already.

Still, in moments she would share his name, in the way she’d shared his heart. She smiled softly to herself, more than ready to finish what they’d started. Phasma clicked across the tile floor, giving Rey an encouraging smile. “The boys are all lined up, and everyone’s waiting. Are you ready?”

“More than ready.” Rey told her assuredly. “Let’s go find my husband.”

She followed Phasma to the foyer, her bridesmaids waiting in front of the wide double doors that lay closed. Darth clung to the wagon he’d been entrusted, beaming up at them as Phasma moved to take his tiny fist in hers. In the wagon sat two of her reasons for existing, the twins sitting contently in the little seats that had been fashioned for them.

Jaina was chattering away as much as an eight month old could, her brother staring at her, quiet and enraptured as was per usual. Jaina was definitely the more spirited of the two. Rey knelt down, the soft material of her dress pooling around her and she gave each of them a kiss on their chubby cheeks.

Their outfits matched Darth’s and the other members of the wedding party, the boys in vests of soft grey and pink ties and the girls in fitted satin dresses of matching pink. Only Kylo was different, foregoing his vest for her favorite accessory and she smiled to herself in anticipation of seeing him in it.

“I would just like to say that I totally called this.” Rose pointed out smugly.

Rey laughed as she rose to her feet, straightening her dress. “I’m sorry for ever doubting you.”

“To be fair,” Jyn cut in. “It _is_ one’s knee jerk reaction.”

Rose rolled her eyes, grumbling softly. They heard the soft notes then of the tune that was scheduled to play for the bridal party, Rose giving out an excited squeal before pulling Rey in for a hug. “It’s time!”

Rey nodded excitedly, squeezing her tight as butterflies flitted about in her stomach. This was it. It was _time._

Phasma gave Darth’s hand to Jyn, moving to stand off to the side with Rey as the ushers opened the doors. They watched as Jyn strode inside, Darth clutching at her hand and pulling the wagon with Jyn’s assistance. Rey tried to stamp down the emotion that bubbled in her chest, a mixture of nerves and excitement, but mostly just anxious to see him. It had been over twenty four hours since she’d seen him and she was _ready._

Rose went next, pressing through the doors slowly in time with the music as the blush hem of her dress trailed behind her. Phasma looked down at Rey then, offering her arm. “Ready?”

Rey beamed up at her, nodding. “As I’ll ever be. Oh, and Phasma… thank you. For everything. Especially for walking me down the aisle. I know it was an odd request…”

Phasma shushed her, giving a soft laugh. She pulled at the lapel of her fitted pantsuit in the same hue as the girl’s dresses, winking down at her. “Gave me an excuse to look better than anyone here.. save for you of course.”

She sighed contently then, patting Rey’s hand. “My darling girl, in all seriousness… you have become a light in all our lives. No matter what name you call yourself, I’ll always be happy to call you my family.” She squeezed her hand, offering a steady gaze. “That’s what you are, love. _Family._ Nothing has made me happier than you allowing me the honor to walk with you.”

Rey blinked rapidly, feeling the familiar sting of tears and Phasma quickly wiped at the corner of her eyes, tutting. “Now, now, don’t ruin your makeup. It’s showtime.”

She heard it then, the opening notes to [ _Glasgow_ _Love_ _Theme_](https://youtu.be/4ZyD7h9WRZM) _,_ and she knew they were waiting on her now. She sucked in a breath, giving Phasma a reassuring nod and together they moved towards the open doors. Everyone inside stood for her, over two dozen people watching her entrance but her eyes were only on one.

Her wonderful, _terrible,_ love… and he was waiting for her.

* * *

_Kylo_

For a moment he forgot to breathe. He thought he’d been prepared to see her, thought that he would not be a mess when she stepped through those doors.

He’d never been so wrong.

Watching her walk towards him, it was as if everything else fell silent. The room went still and suddenly it wasn’t gravity that held him to the Earth… it was her. How could this time feel like the first time?

He swallowed around the lump of emotion in his throat, watching as she all but floated down the aisle. She clung to Phasma’s tall frame, the gauzy material of her white gown flowing behind her in an almost ethereal manner and Kylo couldn’t tear his eyes from her.

Her eyes were on his, her smile bright and warm and everything he loved about her. All this time and he would still do anything for that smile.

He watched her pause at the end of the aisle, leaning to press a kiss to his mother’s cheek and in that moment he felt nothing but peace. He never thought a day would come that he would look at his mother and not feel bitter or betrayed… but that was the magic of Rey. With her, there was no room for darkness. She was the light in all their lives.

Suddenly she was there, standing before him and looking at him with those eyes that made him believe in better things. He smiled softly as he took her hand, threading his fingers through hers as the officiant began to speak. He spoke of love and promises, and Kylo wanted nothing more than to give Rey a lifetime of both.

When it came time for their vows, he felt his chest grow tight with that same emotion that made speaking so difficult. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand, taking a deep breath and knowing she deserved everything he wanted to tell her and more.

“Rey… before I met you, I’d stopped believing in the idea of love. I didn’t believe that there was someone out there who could just magically make your life better. Then here you come, blazing into my life like a damned hurricane and knocking me right on my ass,” he huffed out a laugh, her quiet grin reassuring him as a collective chuckle ran through the crowd.

He took a deep breath as he continued, feeling the traitorous sting in his eyes that threatened to break him. “Suddenly the world had color, the future held promise, and everything that was dark in my life lit up like fire and it was only because of you. _Love_ doesn’t seem adequate for what I feel for you. You’re the air in my lungs, the hope in my heart, the song that’s stuck in my head. Before you… I lived, but it was only after you came into my life that I started _living._ You gave me life, you gave me children, you gave me _love._ As long as you’ll have me… I’ll be here. I’ll love you, keep you, and protect you with everything I am. No one will ever love someone… the way that I’ll love you.”

A single tear had slipped from her eye, trailing a slow path down her cheek and he reached to wipe it away. She blew out a shaky breath as she sniffled, squeezing his hand for strength. “Kylo, you know… it’s funny. I’ve _always_ believed in love. Even growing up with nothing, I found love all around me. I found it in a mother,” she glanced warmly then to Leia, who beamed back at her through a sleuth of tears. “And I found it in friendship,” she gestured behind her to her bridesmaids who looked on the verge of succumbing to emotion themselves. “I thought I had everything I needed in my life.”

She pulled his hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to his fingers as another tear spilled from under her lashes. “I didn’t even know I was missing something, until I met you.”

She beamed up at him then through red rimmed eyes, more happiness in them than Kylo had ever seen. “I was a puzzle who didn’t know I was missing a piece. I wasn’t… complete. Not until I met you. You make me _whole_ . Everything about my life is better, simply because you’re in it and I know as long as I live I’ll never need anything more than you and our family. That’s what you gave me… a _family._ I’ll always be faithful to you, I’ll be there for every moment, every high and low… and I’ll love you through all of it. With everything I am, I’ll love you.”

He knew there were words that followed their proclamations, registered them as he repeated them back. Only in that moment... the only thing that seemed to matter was the smile at her lips and the brightness of her eyes. She was all that mattered. It had only ever been _her_. He heard the words leave her mouth, those two words that meant she was his in every way and suddenly everything blurred.

He wasn’t even entirely sure he’d been given the go ahead when he leaned in to press his lips to hers, cheers erupting behind them regardless as she melted into him. He dipped her low, pulling her closer to him and deepening their kiss far beyond what was appropriate for the circumstances. Somehow, after all that time… it still felt like the first time.

When he finally released her, she smiled up at him coyly before murmuring against his mouth. “ _Terrible.”_

He grinned back, pressing another firm kiss to her mouth. “Forever and ever, babe.”

* * *

_Rey_

“Are you having fun, Mrs. Ren?” He asked quietly as he pulled her closer.

She laid her head on his shoulder, swaying softly with the music and nodding into his shirt. “This has been a perfect day.”

“Phasma did a killer job. I’m glad we decided to keep it small and not invite a shit ton of people. Just our family and the few people from work were great,” he remarked.

She looked across the dance floor, watching the twins as Leia sat in front of them making funny faces, smiling softly to herself. “Leia is so good with them.”

He glanced to where her gaze fell, nodding in agreement. “She’s come a long way.”

She pulled his chin to bring her eyes to his, tip toeing to kiss him. “So have you.”

His fingers thread into her hair, kissing her soundly. When he broke away from her a wide smile painted his features. “All thanks to you, Mrs. Ren.”

She laughed then, shaking her head. “ _Rey Ren._ I still think it sounds like some retro comic book character.”

“Well you are pretty _super_ in my book,” he teased.

Rey groaned, “That was so cheesy.”

He chuckled, kissing her cheek before spinning her in place to the music. “I know.”

A tapping at the microphone on the small stage pulled her attention then, Hux grinning out at the small crowd. “So um, I think it’s about time for the groom to give the bride her wedding present.”

Rey gave Kylo a confused look then, Kylo merely beaming down at her conspiratorially. She raised an eyebrow, suspicious. “What’s going on?”

He brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back. “You’ll see.”

He left her then, Rey moving to the table behind her to sit as he moved up the stairs to take the stage. Hux clapped him on the shoulder, adjusting the microphone to a lower height as Kylo sat on stool that Mitaka brought out. He took an acoustic guitar that Mitaka carried in his other hand, slinging the strap over his neck as the others cleared the stage.

He tapped at the microphone, grinning out at them. “So, I’m sure everyone knows by now I’m better at expressing myself through song… and I’m _particularly_ partial to singing for Rey.”

Leia settled into the chair beside Rey, a twin on each hip as she offered Jacen to Rey. The little boy yawned as he snuggled into his mother, Rey pressing a kiss to his dark hair as she focused on her husband.

He settled the guitar into his lap, his fingers resting over the strings. “I didn’t write this one, but when I first heard the song it almost felt like I had. The words aren’t mine, but the meaning behind them belongs to me. Anyway... I hope you like it, baby.”

His fingers moved over the strings, playing a soft melody that rang out over the hushed crowd. His eyes met hers across the dimmed lighting of the room, his gaze boring into her intently as he began to [sing](https://youtu.be/2muto1kBPFg).

_So many moons_  
_Have come and gone all along_  
_I heard this song inside me_  
_To wait I was told_  
_But now i've found_  
_A different sound_  
_I hear when you’re around me_  
_It’s something new, because of you_  
_I hope I hear it forever_  
_My my love_  
_I've been without you too long_  
_My my love_  
_I've been running too fast to belong_  
_To anyone, but then you came along_  
_At first I laid eyes upon your face this song replaced all the others I had written_  
_It's all brand new because of you_  
_Feels like I've known you forever_  
_My My love I've been without you too long_  
_My My love I’ve been running too fast to belong_  
_To anyone but then you came along_  
_You warm me like sunshine_  
_You cool me like a summer rain_  
_Just let me sit down beside you_  
_Over and over again_  
_My My love I’ve been without you too long_  
_My My love I’ve been running too fast to belong_ _  
_ To anyone but then you came along

When he finished, Rey wasn’t surprised at all to feel the steady stream of tears running down her cheeks. She wiped them away, Leia’s hand wrapping around her shoulders to pull her close. She watched awestruck as Kylo left the stage, moving in a determined path towards her before standing just beside. He leaned to press his lips to hers, his hand smoothing over their son’s back as he rested against Rey’s chest.

“Was that okay?” he murmured.

She nodded softly, smiling through her tears. “Perfect. It was perfect.”

* * *

_Kylo_

He found her tucked away in a corner, Kylo having been lost in the small crowd a half hour ago as the pair of them were forced to mill about with their guests. She was glancing down at the thin band that had joined her engagement ring, smiling contently and his chest felt tight with contentment, and he still couldn’t believe it was finally done. That she’d taken his last name in the same way she’d taken his heart.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked quietly, reveling in the way her face radiated joy just from the mere sight of him.

“Actually I’m waiting for my husband,” she replied cheekily.

“Oh?” he laughed. “He’s a pretty dumb son of a bitch for leaving you alone. I might just have to steal you away.”

“Mm,” she considered, “okay, as long as you don’t tell him.”

He gave a playful grin as he wrenched her from her seat, pulling her into his lap as he took the chair opposite. “My mother just left with the twins. She told me to give you her love.”

“She caught me on her way out so I could tell them goodbye. I can’t believe she’s going to keep them all week,” Rey marveled. “I’m going to miss them so much.”

“I’m sure Phasma or Rose will wander over there at some point for a turn… but she’ll love it either way,” he assured her.

“I still can’t believe she moved out here,” Rey remarked.

Kylo nodded. “I never thought there would be a day I’d be okay with my mother living so close to us… but it’s actually kind of nice.”

She squeezed his hand, kissing his temple. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.”

They sat quietly for a short while, huddled together and content to simply watch their friends dancing away and having a good time. Rey perked up some time later, seeming to have remembered something. “Oh! I met your friends. The ones from the private concert? So nice of them to come.”

“Yeah?” Kylo grinned. “They’re good people. Is it weird talking to someone with the same name as you?”

Rey shrugged. “Maybe a little. They told me about his Dad… what an amazing story!”

“Yeah, he picked a good one with her.” He nodded thoughtfully. “We have that in common.”

She smiled softly, leaning in to cover his lips with hers. She kissed him slow, her lips moving over his and his hand curled over her hip possessively as he pulled her tighter to him. Her fingers curled around his nape, tugging at his hair as her tongue swept inside his mouth. He groaned softly as she tugged at his suspenders with her free hand, feeling his skin flush and his cock stir.

He broke away from her, slightly out of breath. “Can I get you out of this dress yet?”

She giggled, glancing around at the room before giving him a wicked grin. “Think they’ll miss us?”

He gave her his best Clark Gable expression, ducking his head to let his lips trail over her throat. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

* * *

_Rey_

_“_ Wait _.”_ He halted her, suddenly reaching to pull her into his arms. “I have to carry you across the threshold.”

She barked out a laugh, her arms clinging to his neck. “This is a hotel room.”

“Still, I’m a sucker for tradition,” he assured her.

“Well who am I to stand in your way then, husband?” She teased.

He slid the card into the lock, pushing open the door to their hotel suite and carrying her inside. He’d rented a room for their first night, planning to fly out in the morning for their honeymoon.

“Only _you_ would find a pink hotel,” she laughed as he sat her to her feet.

He smirked down at her. “The Hotel Bel-Air is one of the nicest hotels in the entire city. It’s just a coincidence.”

“ _Right,”_ she snarked. “Sure it is.”

He ran his hands down her sides then, pulling her flush against him. “Mm, I think we have more pressing matters to worry about.”

She let her fingers trail down the bands of his suspenders, stretching the material slightly. “Oh, do we?”

“Mhm,” he pressed, toying with a stray curl that hung loose at her collarbone. “You see as much as I fucking love you in this dress… I’ve wanted to tear it off you all night.”

“Just wait until you see what’s underneath,” she simpered.

He raised an eyebrow, his hands stilling at her waist. “What did you do, wife?”

“Just a little wedding present. You’ll need to unwrap it first,” she crooned.

He groaned, his hands sliding over hips to grip her ass and pull her tighter to him. He ducked his head to press slow kisses to her neck, grinding his pelvis into hers. “You know I’ve never fucked my wife before.”

“Mm,” she hummed. “We should remedy that.”

He spun her slowly, pulling her hair to the side and reaching for the tiny zipper that started between her collarbones. He worked it slowly down the fitted fabric of her dressing, pulling it to the flared skirt to let the white fabric part. He sucked in a breath at the flash of pink lace underneath, the pale rose of her strapless bra attached to a satin corset that continued downwards to rest over the barest of lace underwear.

He pushed her dress from her shoulders, letting it flutter around her to pool at her feet and groaning when more of his gift came into view. He traced his fingers over the straps of her garters, the same soft pink as the rest of her lingerie and attached to her white thigh highs.

“Fucking _Christ_ , Rey,” he groaned. “You had this on the whole time?”

She peeked at him over her shoulder, biting her lip and nodding. “You like?”

“Fuck, I don’t ever want you to take it off,” he rasped, his hands smoothing over every inch of her that he could reach.

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” she teased, her fingers covering his to drag his hand between her legs. He found the slitted fabric there, allowing him to slide his fingers up the seam of her bare pussy.

“Did you happen to go see Jyn recently?” he ground out.

She nodded, eliciting a low moan from him as he teased her entrance with his fingers. “How did I get so fucking lucky?”

She leaned back against him, feeling the stiffness of his cock pressing insistently at her lower back through the material of his slacks. “I ask myself that every day.”

He turned her to face him, pressing her backwards towards the bed and urging her to lay across the top. He stared down at her hungrily, his eyes almost black with need as his jaw worked tensely.

“I think I need to fuck my wife now,” he murmured.

She reached out her arms, gesturing that he join her. “Then get down here, terrible. I need my husband.”

* * *

_Kylo_

He couldn’t get his belt off fast enough. She was a fucking _vision,_ a god damned pink daydream and he still couldn’t believe she was his. When she looked at him like that? His entire fucking _world_ came to a grinding halt.

She leaned on her elbows to grab at his suspenders, tugging him down to her for a bruising kiss. He caged her in with his hands pressed on either side, his tongue laving over hers as her fingers worked to undo the buttons of his shirt.

Her legs wound around his waist, and he rolled his hips into hers instinctually. “Your pants,” she demanded, “off.”

“Someone’s bossy,” he chuckled.

She tugged insistently at his waistband in response, growling slightly and the sound went straight to his cock. He reached between them to unclip his spends, wrenching his pants down his hips to free his stiff length. Her fingers immediately moved to stroke him, a shudder passing through him as her thumb smeared the dewy beads at the head.

“ _Fuck,_ Rey,” he groaned.

He rose to his knees to tear off his shirt, throwing it aside before finishing the task of kicking away his pants. Finally naked, he crawled back over her to mouth at her throat hungrily.

“Kylo, _please,”_ she mewled. “I need you.”

“Shh,” he murmured. “I haven’t gotten to play with my present yet.”

He trailed slow kisses down her collarbone, running his tongue over the swell of her breast that heaved from beneath the tight cups of her corset. Her fingers wound into his hair as his nose trailed over the lace panel on the front, pausing to leave a kiss at her exposed hip as he dragged his finger through the slit in her underwear. He felt a tug at his hair, slightly painful but the sharpness of it only heated him further

He pushed her legs apart, met with the enticing sight of her slick center and humming in approval. “ _Present_ is right… your pussy is a fucking _gift.”_

He glanced up at her, her lip trapped between her teeth and her chest heaving in anticipation. He grinned, licking his lips. “And it’s all for _me.”_

She gasped as he ran his tongue up her slit, lapping at her wet center slowly. He swirled his tongue around her clit, teasing her before repeating the entire process painfully slow. She tugged at his hair, squirming under the firm press of his hands on her thighs.

“ _Kylo,”_ she ground out. “ _More.”_

_“_ Is my wife riled up?” he breathed against her before giving another slow stroke of his tongue. “Does she need me to give her a little more of my tongue?”

She let out a frustrated growl, the sound doing nothing to dampen his arousal. “Kylo, I swear to God. If you don’t stop fucking _teasing_ me.”

He huffed out a laugh, teasing her entrance with two fingers before plunging them inside. “And I didn’t even promise to honor and obey…”

She let out a sigh of relief as he began to pump his fingers into her, circling his tongue more fervently around her clit and alternating between heavy pulls from his lips. She used her grip in his hair to bring him closer, grinding his face into her cunt to seek more of her pleasure. He rewarded her forwardness by sucking at her clit with more force, hollowing his cheeks as his fingers curled to press against the secret patch of flesh just inside.

“ _Kylo,”_ she gasped, her thighs shaking as her orgasm neared. He felt how close she was, her pussy clenching around his fingers as her entirely body trembled.

He pressed harder insider her, rubbing tight circles into that secret place as she cried out in ecstasy. He only released his hold on her clit when she practically begged for him to, her legs shaking in his hold and her hands tugging him upward by the hair. She dragged him to her mouth, kissing him fiercely and moaning softly as his weight settled over her.

“That felt more like a present for me.” She grinned.

He huffed out a laugh. “Baby, anytime my mouth is on you it might as well be my fucking birthday.”

She wrapped her legs around him, his cock sliding against her drenched folds and he hissed out a breath as his head fell to her shoulder.

“Hope you’re not down for the count,” she teased.

He nipped at her shoulder, a low rumble sounding in his chest. “Not even close.”

* * *

_Rey_

The heavy press of his cock at her center was driving her slowly insane. Her clit was still sensitive from the mind blowing orgasm he’d just given her, and every nudge of his thick head against the swollen bundle caused her to shudder. Her entire body felt flushed with heat, somehow knowing that he was her _husband_ making everything somehow _more._

His lips at her throat were doing nothing but adding to her insanity, feeling a desperate need to be filled of him and clawing at his shoulders to attempt to bring him closer.

“I need you to fuck your wife now,” she rasped against his ear.

“I don’t know what’s hotter,” he rumbled, ”that filthy mouth on my sweet wife or just the fact that you’re my fucking _wife.”_

He turned to kiss her, his lips moving over hers as she felt the head of his cock press at her entrance before pushing inside. She never tired of the way it felt when he was inside her, never feeling closer to him than she did in those moments. She reveled in the stretch as her body accommodated him, filling her to the hilt as his hips went flush with hers.

“ _Fuck,”_ he grunted, “you feel so good. You always feel so fucking _good.”_

She clung to his broad shoulders as he began to move, pulling out slowly before pushing back inside at a faster pace. His fingers gripped at the hem of her corset, wrenching it downwards to force her breasts upwards and exposing her nipples to his waiting mouth. His tongue laved over the taut peak as his lips pulled at it gently, Rey arching into him as he pounded away below.

“Tell me you love me,” he growled, nipping at the hardened bud of her nipple.

“I do,” she whimpered. “I love you so much.”

“Tell me your _mine,”_ he urged.

She gasped as his hips snapped into hers with more force, feeling him so deep it stole her breath away. “I’m _yours._ ”

His hand crept between them, his thumb pressing into her clit and rubbing a heavy circle into the sensitive bundle. “And this? Who does this pussy belong to?”

“ _You,”_ she moaned, feeling her body tightening as if coiled on a spring, “it belongs to you.”

“Are you going to come? I want to feel you come,” he grated, swiping at her clit furiously as his cock sank into her over and over again.

She nodded frantically, gasping for breath as her orgasm crested like a wave, threatening to crash over her and drown her.

“ _Come,_ Rey _,”_ he grit out, his thrusts stuttering as he came close himself. “Come with me.”

She let go, giving in to the surge of pleasure as she came around him with a sharp cry. His hands moved to grip her waist, slamming into her roughly through her orgasm until finding his own. She felt his cock twitch heavily when he came, the warmth of his cum painting her insides and filling her to the brim. She clung to him through their orgasms, peppering his shoulder with kisses as he buried his face in her hair.

When he finally caught his breath, he leaned up on his elbows, grinning down at her. “Best wedding present _ever.”_

She laughed softly, pushing the loose strands of his hair away from his face. “I hope so, because you’re sort of stuck with me now.”

“Till death do us part,” he beamed.

He pulled out of her, falling to his side and gathering her in his arms. His hand trailed down her side idly, and she draped her leg over his to snuggle closer to his chest.

“Is it weird that I’m thinking of the kids right now?” he chuckled.

She raised an eyebrow in question. “Maybe… how so?”

He shrugged. “I was just thinking I kind of wish I could have gotten you pregnant just now.”

“ _Kylo,”_ she giggled, “the twins aren’t even a year old.”

“I know, I know,” he agreed, “they’re just so fucking awesome. I want a whole house full.”

“I want that too,” she admitted.

“You could stop taking your birth control…” he offered hopefully.

She considered. “You really want that so soon?”

“I don’t think you understand what seeing you with my kid in your belly does to me,” he countered.

She bit back a grin, shaking her head softly. “Well… it _is_ almost Christmas.”

“Seriously?” he blurted excitedly.

She shrugged. “I can’t think of anything I’d want more than more tiny versions of you around.”

“God I love you,” he gushed, pulling her close for a kiss. “I love you so damned much.”

“I love you too,” she murmured against his lips.

He grinned wickedly. “Even though I’m terrible?”

“I’m going to let you on a little secret,” she ventured sweetly, letting her finger trace the tattoo he’d gotten for her over his heart. She glanced up at him, smiling softly and giving him a wink. “It’s _because_ you’re terrible.”

He barked out a laugh, ducking to kiss her again. “We’re in for a wild ride, aren’t we?”

She hummed contently, nuzzling into his chest and letting the steady pound of his heart soothe her. “I think that’s sort of a given when you’re involved,” she chuckled, “but you know what?”

“What?” he wondered.

She pressed a kiss over his heart, sighing happily. “I can’t _wait.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still fully plan those last two epilogues! Dirty Santa epilogue, (hello red suspenders!) I have planned for Christmas, and then hoping for one more IOW crossover for New Years.  
> See you then! <3


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> ...and here we are! Thanks to 5cents for the idea, it was such a fun way to _go out with a bang_. Enjoy your dirty Santa suspender smut! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight! ❤️

* * *

 

“What— what are you _wearing?”_

Kylo glanced down at his outfit. “You told me to wear a Santa suit.”

She swallowed, eyeing the too-tight, red fabric that was stretched over his legs. He tugged at the garment, grimacing. “Although, I do think it’s a little small…”

 _Small?_ She could practically see the outline of his cock from the front. He wore a snug white t-shirt underneath the slim red coat, bright red suspenders clinging to him over his shirt. He’d slung the traditional red cap over his dark hair, and Rey thought herself a deviant for being so turned on by the look of her husband in such a normally innocent outfit. Thank God he’d at least foregone the white beard— she couldn’t trust herself not to still be turned on and God only knows what _that_ would do to her already questionable libido.

She returned her attention to the twins, wiping their faces clean and straightening their outfits. Kylo had grumbled when she’d asked for family photos in coordinating outfits _again,_ but she’d shushed him promptly. She’d never had cheesy family photos growing up, and she was damned sure going to subject her family to them now. They’d thank her. One day, maybe.

She’d dressed them all in red, Jaina’s dress similar to her own and Jacen’s red suspenders and pants not unlike Kylo’s. The twins were babbling away, Jaina shouting “Mama” incessantly as Jacen cooed nonsensical sounds.

She handed them over to Kylo with the intent of getting the camera ready, trying to ignore the way his shirt clung to his chest. She could see the outline of the tattoo he’d gotten for her through the thin white fabric, and she tried to ignore the flush that threatened to creep over her skin.

_Damned hormones._

She readied the camera on its stand, ensuring it was centered on the space she’d laid out for their family photo and setting the timer. Kylo made silly faces at Jaina, who grabbed for one of his suspenders and snapped it against his chest. He hissed as the tight material stung him, and Rey again found herself with an urge to squirm. What was wrong with her?

Well, she _knew_ what was wrong with her, but it sure had started up a lot earlier this time.

“Rey, are you coming?”

_Not yet I’m not…_

Jenna Jameson help her, she was quickly becoming a mess. She shook off her errant thoughts, moving around the camera stand to settle on the seat beside Kylo. She took Jacen, angling him on her lap in a similar fashion to Jaina on Kylo’s and checking to make sure their outfits were still intact.

Kylo’s hand hovered over her knee, his thumb rubbing at the skin beneath her dress in what she assumed he meant as a reassuring gesture. Only, it just seemed to make her skin heat a little further, wrought with an urge to tear that damned outfit right off him. She smiled instead, turning to the camera and holding her grin for the photo.

When it was done, Rey sighed in relief, the frantic scrambling to ready the twins and herself suddenly all worth it for the slightly cheesy memory. She glanced at the clock, rising with Jacen and holding out an arm to take Jaina from Kylo.

“Nap time, I think.”

Kylo stood, shrugging out of his coat and reaching for the hat he wore. Rey shot out a hand, grasping at his forearm to halt him. “Don’t.”

He gave her a curious expression, his hand falling away from the hat in question. She balanced the twins, shooting him a heated look. “Leave it on.”

He continued to look confused for a moment, her intention clicking slowly as realization dawned over his features. “You’re kidding.”

She shrugged, giving him a coy smile. “You can lose the shirt and coat, but everything else stays. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”

“Fuck, I love you,” he groaned. He pressed a kiss to each of the twin’s foreheads, moving to leave a lingering one at Rey’s cheek as well. “See you in a minute.”

She admittedly hurried down the hall to the twin’s room, Jacen already drifting and therefore going down easily. He immediately turned to his stomach upon being laid down, clutching at the tiny silk robe he’d claimed from Rey months ago and snuggling it close. Jaina was more of a fighter, squirming in Rey’s arms and clinging to her shirt in reluctance to be put down.

Rey rocked her gently, singing one of Kylo’s songs softly in a far less pleasant tone that him. It took much longer than Rey might have liked for her daughter to succumb to sleep, Rey’s mind unashamedly dwelling on her husband just down the hall. She settled Jaina into her crib, tucking her in and flicking on the baby monitor before shutting their door quietly behind her.

She tried to refrain from running towards their bedroom, admittedly excited for some alone time with Kylo as the last few weeks had been scarce in that department. The twins had entered a dreaded period of sleep regression, keeping them up during all periods of the night and half the time ending up sleeping between them.

It had been poor timing for them to fall into such an exhausting pattern almost the second after she and Kylo had returned from their honeymoon, but such was life. They’d had an amazing two weeks in the Caribbean, and she’d learned quickly that the only thing more enticing than her husband was her husband on a beach for practically fourteen days.

She pushed through the door to their bedroom, grinning widely at the sight she was met with and leaning against the doorframe to raise an eyebrow at her husband. He lay sprawled across their bed on his side, wearing only his red pants with attached suspenders, and the hat that had come with the outfit. His head rested in his palm, a teasing smirk at his mouth as his free hand lay cocked on his hip in his attempt at a seductive pose.

“So… want to sit on Santa’s lap?”

She shook her head, barking out a laugh. “Terrible.”

“Every day of the year, babe.”

He rolled to a seated position, patting his lap as she launched herself at him. Her thighs draped over his, her fingers tangling in his hair as his arms encircled her to pull her against him.

“Mm,” he murmured. “So what does Mrs. Ren want for Christmas?”

She shifted her hips, rolling against the straining length of him through his red pants. “I could think of a few things…”

“ _Ah,”_ he groaned. “Seems you’ve been a little… naughty this year.”

“Have I?” she asked, her lips brushing against his jaw.

His fingers moved to dig into the soft swell of her hips, a low rumble in his chest. “Very bad. I might even have to punish you.”

She leaned back, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Is that something Santa does now?”

He nodded heavily, his eyes dark as they lingered on the gapped vee of her dress. He trailed a finger over her side, dragging it between the her breasts to linger at the parted fabric, just teasing the soft skin beneath. “Only for the _very_ naughty ones. Tell me, Rey. Just how naughty have you been this year?”

God help her, why was this doing it for her? It hadn’t been _that_ long.

“Mm, incredibly naughty.”

He grinned, his fingers moving to undo the loose twist she’d styled her hair into and watching heatedly as her waves tumbled around her shoulders. He toyed with the soft tresses, curling one around his finger.

“I think I’d like to try something,” he informed her in a tone much lower than he normally used.

Her pulse quickened in anticipation, as she gave him a wide grin. “Everytime you say that, it means trouble for me.”

He smirked. “You haven’t complained yet.”

He was certainly right about that, Kylo had never left her unsatisfied. “What did you have in mind?”

He gave her a wicked grin, pushing her from his lap to lay her over the mattress, her body bent over the side and leaving her ass high in the air. Kylo ran a large palm over the soft fabric of her dress, hiking it higher to bunch over her hips. He groaned at the sight of her lacy red underwear, his fingers toying with the hem.

“Did someone hope to wind up in Santa’s lap today?”

She wiggled her hips at him seductively. “I _always_ hope to end up in Santa’s lap.”

“I swear to Christ I don’t deserve you.” He hooked a finger into the band, tugging. “As much as I love these, I love what’s underneath more.”

He worked them over her hips, letting her part her thighs to fall to the floor. She gasped as she felt his nose running along the seam of her, his tongue darting out to taste her from behind and dragging through her drenched folds before humming in approval.   

“You taste better than milk and cookies, that’s for sure.”

Rey moaned into the comforter, gripping at the soft material as Kylo teased her from behind. The strokes of his tongue were light, not near enough pressure to satisfy her and she _knew_ he was fully aware of his tortuous pace.

His finger moved to tease at her entrance, slipping inside only past the first knuckle to shallowly fuck her as his tongue still lapped lazily. Her knees were weak with the tension she held in her legs, her body strung tight in anticipation for _anything_ he might give her to aid her in her ascent.

“ _Kylo.”_

She felt his mouth leave her, his finger still making short strokes. “Bad girls don’t get to come so easily, Rey. In fact…”

She felt him stand, looming over her as his hips pinned her to the bed. She heard a telltale _clink,_ angling her head to watch as he unsnapped his suspenders, pulling them away from his body in that same move that always made her squirm. She would _never_ tire of watching Kylo take them off.

He held them in his hand, holding out his palm and slapping the stretchy material across it lightly. “Do you remember my birthday?”

She gulped, remembering the night all too well and knowing exactly what he had planned. They had tried this before, an experiment of sorts that had ended in mindless fucking. She had enjoyed the entire escapade, and secretly had wanted to ask for a repeat performance but had been too embarrassed.

“I’ll need you to tell me if this is okay,” he murmured.

She nodded just a little too eagerly, watching as he stretched the bands of his suspenders between his hands to test their elasticity. Last time he’d only used his hand… watching him with her favorite accessory had warmth pooling in her belly and wetness gathering between her legs.

“I think five should do it.”

She actually whimpered, Kylo’s hand smoothing over her ass before trailing a finger through her wet center. “You’re practically _dripping._ I think someone is enjoying their punishment.”

She let her eyes flutter closed as he pushed two fingers inside her, grinding deep and twisting as she pushed back onto the waiting digits.

_Thwack._

She cried out, the sharp sting of his suspenders cracking across the soft swell of her backside as his fingers ground deeper inside her.

“That’s one,” he grated. “Fuck _me_ , you clamp down so hard when it happens. Can you take more?”

“I can,” she assured him breathlessly. “More.”

“Such a good girl,” he praised. “Maybe you’ll end up on the Nice list yet.”

_Thwack._

She moaned, more prepared this time and biting down on the comforter as Kylo curled his fingers inside her.

“That’s two. _Fuck._ I’m jealous of my own fucking finger. I wonder…”

She heard a rustling of material, glancing behind to see Kylo tugging down his red pants to free his straining cock. He gave it a light stroke, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he bent his knees to press at her entrance. He stilled as he entered, the thick head of him resting just inside.

_Thwack._

He pushed inside in one swift stroke as the spends came down across her ass a third time, feeling her cunt clamp down around him as he slid into her to the hilt.

“ _Three,”_ he moaned, his free hand gripping at her ass as he bent over her. “ _God,_ Rey. So fucking tight.”

Rey’s entire body seemed to hum, her fingers clutching at the comforter so tight her knuckles whitened and her teeth clenched so hard she couldn’t speak. All the nerve endings in her lower half seemed to be on fire, alight with pleasurable sensation and screaming for more.

“Two more, baby. Can you take two more?”

She bit her lip as she nod, eyes shut tight as she awaited the last of her punishment.

_Thwack._

He gave a deep thrust as he came down on her a fourth time, feeling her lower half tighten as he let out a groan. “Fucking _four.”_

She pushed back with her hips, grinding into him to seek more and hopelessly turned on beyond recognition.

_Thwack._

He dropped the suspenders immediately after doling out the last one, his hands moving to her waist to grip her roughly. All thoughts of slow abandoned, he began to stroke into her with abandon as he gave the last count through gritted teeth.

_“Fuck. Ing. Five.”_

Each syllable was accentuated with a thrust of his hips, bottoming out inside her again and again as the sharp sounds of his skin slapping against hers filled their bedroom. Rey was impossibly wet, soaking his cock as he fucked into her and making his movements messy.

He bent over her, his lips finding the bare skin of her throat and mouthing at the skin there as his teeth raked over her gently. She heard his voice at her ear, babbling proclamations as he was prone to do in the moment and letting his voice wash over her to spur her further.

“Never get tired of this.”

“So fucking perfect.”

“So goddamn _tight.”_

 _“Fuck,_ I love you _.”_

She could feel an orgasm building, a warm pressure that started deep inside her and crested outwards as Kylo pumped into her. She tilted her hips to meet his thrusts, allowing him deeper access as the fat head of him slammed into the deepest part of her, causing her to moan deeply.

She felt herself begin to quiver and shake, her climax tearing through her as she again bit down into the coverings of the mattress. Kylo let out a series of deep grunts, breathing hard through his nostrils as he pushed into her trembling warmth. He rose to stand straight again, his head falling back as he came and holding against her hips to empty himself deep inside. She felt warmth coating her inner walls, Kylo’s cock twitching as he spurted his release.

He was as breathless as she when he finally stilled, hovering over her once again as his mouth continued a lazy path over her throat. “Think you can be good for me next year?”

She grinned, eyes still shut in lingering pleasure. “We’ll see.”

He chuckled as he pulled out of her, falling to his back on the mattress beside her and attempting to catch his breath. She rolled to rest against his chest, her hands under her chin as she smiled up at him.

“Merry Christmas to me,” she hummed.

“You’ll be the death of me.”

“Are you really complaining?”

He eyed her amusedly, shaking his head. “Never.”

She grinned coyly then, tracing a finger over her tattoo on his chest. “I actually got you something too… I think I’d liked to give it to you a little early.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to have to give me a minute to recover, babe.”

She smacked his chest, laughing. “Not _that._ Terrible.”

He beamed, shrugging his shoulders. “Then what?”

She nodded her head towards her bedside table. “Grab the box in there.”

He gave her a curious expression, rolling to open the drawer and reach inside. He pulled out the small, elongated box of white wrapping with a large red bow, shaking it slightly. It gave a tiny rattle, and he furrowed his brow.

“What is it?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, open it.”

He sat up to tear at the paper, Rey rolling to her side to watch with her chin propped on her fist. He lifted the white lid of the small box, his mouth falling open slightly at what he found inside.

He glanced to her incredulously. “Really?”

She nodded happily. “Looks that way.”

“But… you _just_ stopped taking your birth control.”

She shrugged. “I guess your mutant sperm strikes again.”

He dropped the box, practically tackling her as he rolled her to her back, his mouth covering hers and his fingers tangling in her hair. She giggled between kisses at his excitement, his happiness infectious and making her warm inside.

“I hope it’s twins again,” he murmured against her mouth.

She smacked his arm. “Don’t you even think it.”

He grinned, pulling her close to nuzzle into her hair. “I’m just saying, if _anyone_ could make twins twice…”

She scoffed. “It would definitely be you.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “And don’t you forget it.”

He lay like that for a moment, his joy rolling off him in waves and Rey content to bask in its warmth. He rolled to his side finally, grinning down at her wickedly and she knew whatever thought that had occurred to him would be maddening.

“You know…” he started coyly, gesturing towards her stomach. “I guess that means I sort of gave you a present already too. Maybe I _am_ Santa _.”_

She shook her head, laughing. Her frustration with this man was only outweighed by her all encompassing love for him. “You’re always going to be terrible— aren’t you?”

He grinned, leaning to let his lips hover over hers. “Forever and ever, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> You sweet souls give me life.  
>   
> Find me on Tumblr!  
> [KyloTrashForever](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)  
> I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!  
> Also, if anyone is interested I’ve been working on a soundtrack for this because I’m ridiculous.  
> [Like Red But Not Quite Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/2u2V5gK4Yq4ZztgqHbxzQC?si=9TzbnrHcQwKPvzwn3AhQSA)


End file.
